I would hope to use this blog as a way of sharing my heart, and for encouraging other homeschooling mothers .... I am sure there will be lots of mindless musings as I use my blog for 'spilling' my own prayers and thoughts. I also would like to have place to 're- live' the days events and special blessings. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Fri, 3 Feb 2006 13:22:00 -0600 Fri, 3 Feb 2006 13:22:00 -0600 one deep breath...finally.    it has been a long time since i sat down to update my blog.  i  missed blogging and this sweet community....but must admit...i have had little inspiration lately.  i cannot explain it...but i do believe they call it 'burn out'.   i try to 'NOT' be a complainer, so i just sit tight, and ask God to put His arm around my shoulder and His hand over my mouth...sometimes i go quiet for quite a while...which is probably why i haven't said much....i haven't really had much to say......and you know the saying,   "if you haven't got anything ' nice ' to say, don't say anthing at all".   the good news:  God has heard our prayers.  and He has blessed us with a new house!  we are moving April first!  it is a great house with more closets and a garage, and a bathtub (thank you GOD for that! been bathing baby for 2 yrs now in a 'blow up tub' in a tiny shower". lol.   we will have a real fire place!  the kind you put real wood into and sit near on chilly mornings drinking hot cocoa!   we will have a garage to park our car in and store stuff, and a back yard for the kids to play in!!!   also... a great breakfast nook atop a tile floor!!  no longer will i have to worry about spaghetti in the carpet!   i am just so happy.  these little things most take for granted, (as i once did too) are all ours again soon.   and most importantly, i saw baby yesterday on the ultra sound.  i am 15 weeks along and feeling more human again.  i was given the heave ho from bedrest (3 months of it!)  and told to resume a 'normal' life once again!  i took my last progesterone 2 nights ago and am feeling a bit more confident about the future with our new baby.   although it is too early to tell....the u/s tech said she thinks it looks like a girl at this stage....and is about 80% certain.  funny thing because i really thought this was a boy!  either way...i am so deeply in love with this baby already that if it came out a monkey i would praise GOD anyway!     http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/78091/ Fri, 3 Feb 2006 13:22:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/78091/ after being 'off-my-blog' for all this time...i am feeling the need to write a bit more....today David and i took the tree down and all the decorations.  i was sad to see them go..but it was time.  the rain and wind were raging outside all day, and suddenly there was the most amazing parting of the clouds, and the sun dazzled and danced thru the window so brightly!  we stopped to just watch it.    it was beautiful.  we didn't catch the rainbow. wow... my wooziness is back with a vengeance!  i have a good day and then  wake up with this nausea that just slams me back down.   the doc put me on bedrest at the beginning of december.  i laughed at the thought of it.  how on earth does the 'mom' make it thru the holidays....in bed???!! ..it was an interesting journey....because i wasn't my usual frazzled self  this christmas.  i was mostly sicker than a dog on a stick....but i must admit....i was able to fight the commercialism by doing the minimal...the nuts and the bolts....the 'disease' was my 'cure' for the crazy Christmas time madness.   i was stressed a bit in a different way...had a lot of close calls with this pregnancy...some spotting, and they didn't find the heartbeat in week 7, which landed on hubby's bday!!   i wrote a little about it:     there we sat on his special day, in the waiting room of my ob's, staring at all the smiling happy big- bellied soon to be mommies, while i waited for what i 'just knew' was going to be my 5th miscarriage.  i prayed...he prayed...and soon we were called in to the room....   there they were once again....those ugly words...the very words that bring your soul to it's knees....   "there is no heartbeat''   silence....   hard swallow....   "not today"   'of all days'   my words shifted inside my head and i am not sure if i spoke or not.  i just squeezed davids hand.  i felt as if i had failed him once again.  this day, december 15th, his 33 bday will always be remembered as the day we 'lost' our baby......   i heard the nurse's words...in pieces,  not in sentences, or sequence or anything i could grasp...but i thought she was telling us to wait...that she needed a second opinion....   a hope? is there still hope? been thru this so many times.   even still,  we had hope.   she left the room and we both began to pray out loud.  all i could muddle was the name of Jesus...."comfort us Lord....show us a heartbeat...P L E E eeeesE....Jesus...comfort us'''   pleading...praying.    in walks the doctor.  for  some strange reason i didn't want her there....i wanted to linger in the 'hope'.     i didn't want to know if it was going to be final. i wanted to remain in the moment of not knowing.    we had found ourselves in that 'space between'....that space where you still might have a living baby inside.  that place was sweet and i wanted to stay there for a while longer.   she plunged the magice ultra sound wand inside of me again and i told them all 'i can't watch '   their eyes searched the scratchy fuzzy monitor.  my heart beating so loud i knew they could hear me.   finally....the doc spoke.   ''here is the baby............and there is the heartbeat''   i turned to look...and i saw it.    that white light of fluttering hope.  the sweet wings of a butterfly light...flickering and glowing at us.   i was shaking.   we were crying.   we were greatful and thankful and thanked Jesus out loud.   we left the docs office feeling that a beautiful thing had happened to us.  was it a miracle?  a bday miracle for david?   perhaps.   all the same, it was a moment we will never forget.   still waiting to see this little gift from above and until that moment i am sure i will have many fears.....   but i will have to hand them over to the Lord.   again and again.   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/62925/ Mon, 2 Jan 2006 22:02:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/62925/ wow...i have been offline for about 11 weeks!  i know this because i haven't written since i found out we are expecting again!  this pregnancy has been a real rough one, thus far...but Lord willing, i haven't given up on this one...and there have been so many times....at 7 weeks they couldn't find a heartbeat....but then....after putting me on a different ultra sound machine, they found it!  it felt like a miracle.   I am just putting each and every day in the hands of the LORD and He will be faithful, no matter what the outcome.  bedrest has been hard...but i know it is all worth it.   HAPPY HAPPY and BLESSED new year to all!!!         http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/62877/ Mon, 2 Jan 2006 21:28:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/62877/ "Blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me."  (luke 7:23)   Do you ever have one of those moments......when  you know the Lord is speaking directly to you?  i had one of those moments this morning.  thru His word, He revealed the above scripture to me, and I had to just stop, and allow it to sink in....because i had done this.  i had become  'offended in HIM'.    i guess you can say.... we as a family we have experienced a season of some difficulties.  the miscarriage, soon after that - a very painful rift in our extended family...(which has left me with some very heavy burdens on my heart that i am working and praying hard to get thru)...not to mention a whole bunch of other little things...just annoyances, but all the same....it hasn't been an easy road.    i have found myself actually 'going there'  you know that place....asking God 'why'.  now to be honest, i have made it a point to never ask Him this.  when things don't go the way i have planned, i choose to surrender it to Him....in TRUST.  but....(and this is a big 'butt'...) lately i have floundered in these circumstances and found myself slipping under them.   His words this morning were a balm of healing to me.  He gently showed me that this is what i have done, i have become 'offended' in Christ.  but he also showed me thru His precious word, that He understands it.  God knows it is easy to fall under the burden of our circumstances, to take our eyes off of Him, and focus in on our own pain.  emotions can become 'aphrodiasics for the flesh' if we allow them to.  our emotions crave a pity party. ....but we must always remember, emotions are feelings...feelings aren't truth.  the word of GOD is truth.    I know that He hears my prayers.   my prayer time has been rich and deep because of these trials.  I know this is a time of spiritual warfare for me and my family.  I know that i need to put on the 'armor' and walk in truth.  and I thank my God for revealing things to me thru His word...in order to keep me from slipping further.   the one thing these trials have taught me is to keep my eyes on what is eternal...and not to focus in on what is temporary.  this world is passing away, and we are only 'passing through'.  it is easy to get caught up in the trials of this life.  But as believers we have the 'truth'...and that truth gives up HOPE.  even when hope is hard to find.   blessed is he whose faith is not offended, when all around his way the power of God is working out deliverance for others day by day;   Blessed are you, O child of God, who does suffer, And cannot understand The reason for your pain, yet will gladly leave Your life in His blest Hand.   Yes blessed ar you whose faith is "not offended" By trials unexplained, By mysteries unsolved, past understanding, Until the goal is gained.   ~FREDA HANBURY ALLEN~ http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/46104/ Fri, 18 Nov 2005 11:48:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/46104/ "She's not 'normal', that's why she is my friend....heeehaaa!"   Quoted by my 12 yr. old!   isn't it wonderful to know that each one of us is someone elses weirdo?  'normal' is just a setting on my washing machine anyway.  isn't that what they say?  yup...and i believe it!   it is good that my kid can see the beauty in oddness!  he has me for a mother....!    blessings! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/46062/ Fri, 18 Nov 2005 11:06:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/46062/ once upon a time there was a mommy. this mommy had all little boys.  little boys wear blue.  not pink, blue.  so this mommy decided to do the right and best thing, and she was sure to always dress them in blue, because boys look best in blue.  she was tempted to dress them in pink at times, because some mommies with all boys begin to romanticize the color pink. mainly because pink is 'pretty' and most of the time, blue is not pretty.  it is 'blue'.  the 'experts' term it 'border-line abuse' to dress little boys in blue.  she so wanted to be a good mommy, so she set out to make blue her favorite color.   denim blue, vintage blue, sky blue, baby blue.  this mommy felt she had about all she could take of blue.  so, one night she prayed.  she prayed God would bring her a little girl. a little pink girl.  a little pink girl who would love to 'take pink tea, in pink  tea cups with pink flowers while sitting in pink dresses, on pink chairs, at a table with pink table cloths.   she prayed and prayed and prayed.  and one day, God answered her prayer.  she got her pink little girl...who loved blue.   and the moral of the story:   you can take the pink out of the little  boy, but you can't take the blue out of the little girl....   and they all lived happily ever after.   the end. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/42613/ Wed, 9 Nov 2005 18:27:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/42613/ I haven't written in quite a while...life has taken over!  hubby and i have been revising our budget....OY!  it was time to take our head out of the sand and really get down and dirty...tighten things up and be better aware of what was in the 'storehouse'.  let me just say, it has been a labor of love, but I have now taken over most of our finances for my hubby, and I feel blessed to be doing so!   it wasn't this way initially...nooooo! i just cringed at the thought of 'doing the finances'....the Lord revealed some things to me, i surrendered and i am so glad i did.  i use to feel that 'doing the finances' was a 'mans work'....but you know....that part in proverbs 31...where 'she considers a field and buys it, and from her profits she plants a vineyard'...well, i want a vineyard....or at least, the very least, i want God to be proud of his servant.  i want to be a proverbs 31 woman, and i am far from it, FAAAR from it!  but i am learning.   i hope to always be growing and learning!   tonight i am 'beading' myself into a frenzy...our family vacation is 2 weeks away and i hope to 'peddle my wares' in order to raise some spending money!  hubby, my boys, baby girl and i are driving up the coast to spend thanksgiving with my mom.  we haven't been able to have a thanksgiving with my mom in sooo long and i am so excited (we all are!) to be getting to spend this most treasured of all holidays with her!  she lives just about 20  minutes from San Francisco and it will be the boys first trip there!    that last time i was in San fran i was only 12 and i threw up on a mans shoes in the trolley car.  that was the day we discovered i was not only claustrophobic, but had serious motion sickness.  all the same...i look forward to a 'smoked turkey'...and all the fix'ins.   isn't Thanksgiving the BEST!  i can't wait....   ps:  i just have to share what i made for dinner tonight.  i had some left over 'honey orange sauce' (from the orange chicken i made the night before) i slow cooked pork using up the left over honey orange sauce, but for a change,  i added brown sugar and hickory bbq sauce to that, and for the sake of celebrating Autumn, (my favorite time of year) i added ground cloves and cinammon!  oh my gosh!  i served it with mash potatoes made with cream, better than buillion, butter, pepper, a sprinkling of garlic salt, and peas and carrots!  my family loved it and ate it all up! (just had to share)  *wink*   GOD bless !     http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/42275/ Tue, 8 Nov 2005 22:01:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/42275/ I was talking with my mom the other day and she asked me if I had ever 'googled' myself....WHAT??  "googled myself??"  I asked!!  (rolling off the couch laughing).   "yeah...put your name into 'google' and see where you come up!"  sooo...being the brave adventurer that I am, I try this....and guess what!......my name and link came up right away! my only claim to fame, my blog!  from the HOMESCHOOLER BLOGGER!    at first i got a tickle out of this 'googling myself'...but after a second thought, i realized something....'gee....people i don't even know will know my deepest thoughts...'....based entirely on my blog.  i felt kinda 'exposed'...ya know?  i mean, seriously...what was i thinking??? like THAT wouldn't happen?   suddenly, i started realizing that i had exposed not only some of my deepest thoughts (meant only for my fellow kindreds on the homeschool blogger), but total strangers in cyberspace!  the names and ages of my kids are on here!!! OH  MY  GOSH!   so I decide to edit all info that I have written on my kids and even my profile today---just to be on the safe side! when you see the 'safe code' it will look something this:   1.B.12   this would mean firstborn, boy, age 12   for more info....visit  DandelionSeeds and link to her 'SAFE CODE' blog. she has some really good info on how we can keep our family safe from any potential harm out there!   blessings! shelbi   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/37601/ Wed, 26 Oct 2005 19:17:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/37601/  I sincerely believe that our children have a deep well-spring of abilities, gifts and talents placed within them.  The ability to learn language, to speak, and then to read.  the ability to reason, to learn numbers and then learn various concepts of math.....the "3 R's" (among many other precious things) are already set into motion  and have been placed there by our creator.   my job as 'teacher' is to simply create an environment that produces within them the passion and the desire to unleash their unique God-given abilities.  It is my goal and my prayer daily, that I am gentle and loving in all my ways, "when I sit and when I walk, when I lie down and when I rise up".  I hope to never stifle their spirits by my own daily shortcomings.  I so desire our home to be a place where they feel secure in all aspects of daily life.  learning as we go.   The public school system says 'you must be qualified - according to man's standards'.  Gods word tells me otherwise.  I am already 'qualified' to 'teach' my children.  I know this because He has entrusted me with them.  If you have children, than you are 'qualified'.  God say's so.    As homeschool educators, we must always bare this in mind, never allowing the 'worlds views' to infiltrate our homes.  we must 'rise up' and stand strong, renewing our minds daily unto the Lord.  He has a plan, a very special plan for each homeschooled child.    sacrifices are made for each individual homeschool family...but we are priviledged to be at home, creating the environment necessary to bring out the beautiful gifts within each child God has entrust to us today.   Lord, I pray over these moms today, may you fill them with a desire to grow closer to you.  May they see YOU in the eyes of their sweet children.  May we all be encouraged even through the rough seasons of our journey as homeschoolers, that you are our Creator.  You have a special plan and purpose for each day of our lives.  May we not squander the time, but use it wisely to create a beautiful environment, one rich with love and good books and comforting words.    Amen http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/36257/ Fri, 21 Oct 2005 15:23:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/36257/ i just re-read my 'profile'...ugh.  i cwack myself up.  seriously....why can't i just keep it simple?    HUH!?   in all my 38 yrs....i have known i have 'issues'...   yup. i do.    serious- lets-just-call-them........... 'conversational issues'.    *getting vaglempt*.......have come to the realization that;;;; (hold onto yer' seats)    i am a 'rambler'.     i ramble....i ramble, ramble, ramble!   on and on and on!!! when i sink my teeth into anything i find passionately mindnumbing, i just bite down and can't let go!  i have to 'talk about it'....you know....'VENT'.    but there is a dark side ....a deep dark side that ramblers anon. won't fess up to....LET"S get it out right here and now.  out of the darkness and into the LIGHT!  oh...., OHHH.... oh  the worst part....i blame my husband for "NOT listening to me"   he tunes me out.  ya think? i mean after a while he has to!  i get my 'wild hairs' and my dander up and before i know it, off i go again!  rambling on and on!   the sad fact is, nobody is really listening to me any more!  and you know why? yup....because i ramble.  like right now.  ramble..........    this whole blogserphere phenomenon has given wings to the 'ramblers of the world'.  the internally terminally lonely yet reletively happy talkative breed of people, from all walks, rhymes and reasons in life...and allowed them to spread their rambling wings in the vast valleys of the deepest and darkest revines......of time and space....."THE internet!"     Here's the the lost daughters of  'Edith Bunker' and 'Mrs. Kravitz.'  may we reign supreme and my those around us be blessed!           http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/34787/ Mon, 17 Oct 2005 10:29:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nehemiahmommy/34787/