The Buzzard's blog about day to day life in our homeschool and our family. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Wed, 1 Oct 2008 11:11:00 -0500 Wed, 1 Oct 2008 11:11:00 -0500   OK first let me say this is my oppinion and I am judging no one but myself here. I have spent the summer a little lost. Ok actually allot lost.lol I have been forced to take a look at myself and find out again just who I am. I can tell you that losing Pappa last year really had a huge effect on me. He was my hero and one of the best people I have ever had the privalege to know. I am so blessed I got a front row seat with him. He was kind and loving and everything I wish I could be. In fact my sister and I say just about every time we talk how we wish we could be more like him. I think he and I definately shared the same off beat sense of humor but I wish I had more of his patience with people. Anyway, I am getting off track. Losing him last year made me face a few things. Mainly how life is short and you just never know when everything you thought you knew can change in a moment. Also how people are so much more important than the little things  we worry about day to day. So I have been trying to figure out just who I am again and what things I have been trying to be that I am not. I can't tell you how suprising it was to me when I decided to homeschool that I was automatically inviting everyone and their brother to judge my parenting and ability to teach. Not to mention to quiz my children on what they know compaired to their public school counterparts. I almost collapsed under all the pressure. And I tried my hardest then to become supermom and meet everyones expectations of what I should be. One big problem arose from all this. I lost myself and became allot more anxious all of the time. Because, as Johnny and June Cash so aptly put it " It ain't me babe." lol "It is a hard thing for us moms to just be ourselves. We are constantly caught up in the era of defining ourselves be what kind of mom other people see us as. Basically there seems to be a continuum where mothers at one end are sporting professionally designed graphic art masterpieces that read " Super Mom's are the Best and By the Way, My Kid Beat Your Kid in the Spelling Bee...Again". At the other end there is a ragtag looking hand scribbled poster that reads "Slacker Moms Rule... and the Thought of Spending Hours Memorizing Spelling Words Makes Me Nautious."" From a Book by Lysa Terkeurst called The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained. I don't really fall into any of these catagories. I tend to lean more toward the Slacker Mom. I am no where near Super Mom. And the harder I try to be Super Mom the more I fall short it seems. I don't like labels. I just want to be the kind of mom God intends for me to be and do the best I can for the children he has entrusted to my care. I have found that allot of these supermoms (by no means all) are doing so much with their kids because they are a reflection on them. They think that if their child excels then people will say" Wow that kid scored three goals today. He must have a great mom" Is having a smart,successful kid a bad thing? Of course not, but when we do what we do for the recognition it brings us then we become out of balance. If we hover over our children all of the time it tells them that we don't trust them to be able to succeed on their own. Please hear my heart here. I am not saying helping is bad. I am saying when we step in too much and too often we are in danger of sending our child the message that we think they are incapable. On the other hand we don't want to be the slacker mom either. Who doesn't do anything because they are too tied up in their own things. It isn't that these mom's don't care. On the  contrary they tend to focus on relationships over activities. So what is a mom to do? I am trying to take an honest evaluation of what is realistic for me and what is necessary for my family and trying to find balance for the journey. Balance, doing what I can with what I have been given based on what is realistic. My kids never look perfect. I am happy if their faces and clothes are clean. (which if you know my kids you will see what a rarety that is). I take joy in descovering every day more about my children and who they are. I am trying to find some of the super mom traits that fit me and still relax enough to let my kids be kids. I will let you know how it goes.lol I want to be more like Pappa who never worried about taking the time to teach me a game or play a game with me or teach me to tie my shoes. He also still managed to get things done. He took care of his things but they didn't own him. He realized that people are more important. Not saying he was a saint by any means but remember I am looking through a granddaughter's eyes. lol What a great job I have. Being constantly challenged to be the best of myself I can be while having a front row seat to see who my children are and guide them into the adults they will become. (hopefully teaching them to spell and not use run on sentences like their mother.lol) http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/598229/ Wed, 1 Oct 2008 11:11:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/598229/ We have been back at school for a couple of weeks now. So far so good. No melt down days yet. We are still working on getting back in our routine thought. Lilly wants to do school at 7 am and mommy is just not ready then. lol But she would do school morning noon and night if you let her. I am happy to be back in school. I liked having the down time during the summer but some days I just wanted to do school. The girls start dance class on Friday. So it will be back in the mom taxi for me. But I don't have as far to go since I changed their dance school. Which means allot less hours in the car. I am even being brave and taking a dance class on Saturdays. Do you believe that? Well we will see how it goes. I am about as graceful as a hippo in a tutu but hey who knows. lol Tristan wants to start wrestling in November. So it is off we go again. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/584452/ Wed, 3 Sep 2008 10:29:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/584452/ I am so sorry I haven't blogged in awhile. We have been so busy. We had our end of the year tests and then wrapped up our school year. Which was a huge weight off of my shoulders. I have been feeling very overwhelmed lately. We found out that our homeschool group was dissolving. While this brought some sadness I really think it was for the best.  I know at least for me that it was one of the things that contributed to my feeling of being overwhelmed. I had already planned on taking a break from co-ops for at least a semester. I am so excited to already have the curriculum ready for my oldest for next year. I am still searching out 2nd grade curriculum for my middle child. I do already have preschool ready for my youngest so I feel at least a little organized for next year. So that has helped relieve some stress. We had our housewarming and I finally have my house pretty much in order. So that is another weight off of my shoulders. I have been playing softball two to three days a week. I have so enjoyed it. I am so glad to be active again. I don't want to stop. I will certaintly have to figure out something to do after softball ends. My hubby has taken this summer off of school. He has gone the last three summers and of course two full years so I am glad to have him here and to have a break. It is allot of work to have the kids alone all the time with Dave working and going to school. I know he needed the break as well.  So hopefully this coming year is his last full year of school. I think we will both be refreshed and ready for the next school year. So this summer I am planning on relaxing,gardening, spending some fun time with my family, and hopefully doing some camping. I will probably take a break from blogging until the summer is over. So if you don't hear from me don't worry. Look for me to be back when the school year starts. Have a great summer all.   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/539092/ Wed, 28 May 2008 06:33:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/539092/ Well this has already been a week of ups and downs and it is only Wednesday. lol The other day I received a ver surprising e-mail that said our homeschool group was dissolving. While I was shocked and saddened at first I think it is going to be a good change. It took a couple of minutes to process it all. I have to say without the homeschool group I don't know if I would still be homeschooling today. The help and support I recieved from those ladies helped me keep going when I had no confidence in my ability at all. I know , however, that it was becoming overwhelming for many of us. I will miss the co-ops but I know I will not miss the friends I have made because the vast majority will not be going anywhere. So it is almost the end of the school year and due to some of these changes I am going to have to sit down and reevaluate my plan of action for next year. Which is fine. I always use the summer to refocus and reorganize anyway. David is done with school at the end of this week.(yippeee) at least for this year. He is taking the summer off which will provide us both a much needed break. So he will be here to help me refocus. I want us to sit down and really talk about our goals for next year. Also I had my first softball game Monday. After practicing Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday of last week I found myself with a swollen ankle. It is my bad ankle that I broke a few years back . So I only got to play one inning. I played catcher. I really enjoyed it. We lost 16 to 6 but one of those six points was mine. I actually made it all around the bases hurt ankle and all. So I have been resting up and icing it getting ready for our game tomorrow night. Wish me luck. Then yesterday my dryer wasn't working. This morning it is. But today my washer isn't working. Maybe I am overworking them? lol I am trying to get all the heavy winter clothes put away till next winter. So that is my up and down week so far. Can't wait to see what happens next. lol http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/528444/ Wed, 7 May 2008 07:15:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/528444/ Well I just got my practice and game schedule for softball. Between practice and games and Dance class for the girls I will barely have one day where I am not running somewhere till July. lol But hey that should really help me get into better shape and the less I am home usually means the less I eat. I tend to eat when I am bored. lol Keeping busy helps me. lol I am so sore. I am amazed at how my mind thinks I should be able to play like I am still 17 and my body says ha ha ha ha you are kidding right. lol My body will just not move as fast as I think it should. So I am going to start running some speed drills with the kids in the evenings and break out my FIRM workout videos because they do allot of weight training which I love love love. I always love to feel stronger. So who knows by the end of all of this I may be in the best shape I have been in years. Wish me luck.lol http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/524822/ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:04:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/524822/ Sorry I haven't been blogging much lately. I have been so busy with unpacking and moving. Finally after this weekend I am ready to recieve visitors. We spent the weekend finishing our unpacking. We got our curtains hung and most of our pictures as well. I can't believe how big the house looks without all the boxes in it. So who is going to be the first to come by and see the new house? lol Also I started softball practice. I am so happy that I decided to do it. I will tell you I was really nervous about it . I was afraid I was too out of shape to do it. I was afraid someone would make fun of me. But I am so glad I got over the fear and just did it. I had so much fun. I felt like a kid again. Especially softball was my sport when I was a kid. Until the next morning. Then I felt old and sore. lol I am really anxious to do other things now. I will not let my weight hold me back anymore from doing things I enjoy. I also hope that this will help me get into better shape. I don't really care that much about the number on the scale as I do being healthy and being able to be a more active mom for my kids.   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/519672/ Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:13:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/519672/ Well one box at a time I am getting unpacked. I am determined to have a nice organized home when I am done. My biggest issue that I have run into is that I have at least 5 boxes of books and only one bookshelf. lol I do however have a big closet in the master bedroom. So here is my plan. I will put the books I am using for this years school in a plastic bin that I have along with my art supplies and pencils and just stuff you would use for school. So I will have a school in a box. lol This will be somewhat easier because allot of Tristan's work will be on the computer next year. So most of it will be 1st grade things for Lilly and preschool things for Olivia.  I have put the books that I am reading and my prayer journal and my to do notebook will be in a basket next to my bed(actually they already are) and then I also have a place to put the remote for my TV in our room so it doesn't get lost. lol That should at least eliminate some of the books. Allot of the rest of them will go on my one bookshelf. Some old books of David's such as his school books he wants to keep will be in the building because I don't know where else to put them right now. But eventually I am going to have to buy more book shelves. Of course as many as I can get will be going in the yard sale. Although it is tough because I HATE to get rid of books. I always feel I can use them someday. I am open to any other suggestions. What does everyone else who has a small home do with their many books? I know you have them if you are a homeschool family.lol http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/509880/ Thu, 3 Apr 2008 11:48:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/509880/ I thought this was good and I wanted to share it with you. Check out these ideas about homeschooling on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq_tcyPV7Vg http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/507864/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 10:05:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/507864/ Finally we have moved in. We are now begining the process of digging out from all of these boxes. I have my washer and dryer hooked up so I have started some laundry and I am on the move to get organized. There have already been allot of things that were packed up that will not be unpacked but instead will either be going in the building for a yard sale or going in the trash. I am continuing to downsize and I hope to greatly simplify my life. I have a nice open floor plan and I want to keep that nice open feel and not clutter it up with junk. On another note I have lost 11lbs in the last two months. It is coming off slowly but I have not gained any back. I have a plan for the spring and summer. I am trying to eat like I did in highschool. I never ate this much and I was much more active. I have downsized my plates to a cake plate and I have outlawed eating in the living room or anywhere but the dining room. That should help me some. Also I had read somewhere that if you really want to stick to an excersize routine you should pick something you loved when you were a kid. Well my thing was always softball. I played every summer till I was in highschool. Then I tried out for the highschool team but I didn't make it so since then I haven't played. Well our church just started a softball team. Mens and womens. Guess who joined the womens team. That's right me. And since it is just for fun and not a big deal it is a really good place for me to start getting active again. I am really nervouse about it but I am excited too.  Wish me luck. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/505103/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 09:50:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/505103/ Well Lord willing we will be closing on our house this afternoon. It has been a long process. From what I hear though with all the new rules with homebuying it is going to get harder and harder for first time home buyers to get a house. Unless you have excellent credit. I do have to confess something though. Monday we thought we were going to close on the house and we didn't then the mortgage broker called and told us that we needed 875 more dollars. Not for closing costs or down payment. Just to have sitting in the bank account. To show we had a certain amount of accetts. Well we had maxed out all the money we had. We had two paychecks and all our savings still sitting in the bank and we still needed more money. I cracked. I threw a fit such as I haven't since I was 5 years old. (not my bust day) I was so upset. How in the world were we going to do this. And without the money we couldn't get the loan. After all of this stress and worry we may not even get the house. After I finally calmed down I called a friend of mine. She and her husband loaned us the money(to hold and look at basically) and she had to sign a paper to say it was a gift. You know in case we were international terrorists or something. ARGH! Ok I had to tell you that to get to this part. The next morning I get up and my devotion really slapped me in the face. It was about having idols in your life. Here is how you can tell if something has become an idol and you are no longer doing it for God's glory. When it is taken away or challenged you get ANGRY(check) , FRUSTRATED,(check check), and SELF PITYING(check check check). OUCH! that was me in a nutshell. We have prayed throughout this process to get the house. Once we found a house and started the home buying process I had quit praying. When things got challenging I got angry,frustrated, and self pitying. I had put my faith in the mortgage company and all of those people. It was like "ok God you found me a house I can take it from here" DUH not my brightest moment. So he decided to show me who really has control over everything. I have learned something through this. God doesn't always change us sometimes he just gives us opportunities to change. Like when someone prays for patience. He doesn't just make them more patient. He gives them opportunities to learn patience. We are challenged and how we react gives us opportunities to grow and learn. He had given me more than one opportunity to go to him and pray for strength and faith and patience. But I failed everytime. (I am kind of slow sometimes. Just call me Peter. lol) Finally he just put it there in front of me in black and white. THEN I GOT IT!!!. Well I immediately hit my knees and thanked God for showing me my sin and asked for forgiveness. Then I called my husband and asked for his forgiveness ( I had lashed out at him more than once). As soon as I had done all of that ( I mean almost immediately) the realtor called with a closing time. I am so glad he is the one in control of the universe and not me. lol Anyway I just had to share. Just be careful anything can become an idol when you aren't using it for God's glory or you start leaving him out. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/501594/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 06:02:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thebuzzards/501594/