Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Phil. 3:12 This is my incredible journey...learning to be a wife for almost 16 yrs (and counting), learning to be a mom for 12 years (and counting...and a homeschool mom in her 3nd year - one of the best decisions!) and most of all learning to be a woman of God (hearing, understanding, trusting and obeying God's voice and calling). Thank God, His mercies are new every morning! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:52:00 -0600 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:52:00 -0600 Wow...it's been a very long time since I blogged, almost 4 months.  I seem to spend most of my writing time on Facebook.  I really should get back to blogging more.  So, what's been up the last several months?  Well, August/September began our 4th year of homeschooling...and so far it's gone fairly well...despite a few interruptions.  In September we made an unexpected trip up to NH for Brian's grandfather's funeral.  He was 90 years old and had a good long life, so while that was a sad event, it was also a great trip as well.  We were able to spend time with family, especially Brian's brother from California who we hadn't seen in over 5 years.  We were also able to get in a visit with a couple of dear friends.  Plus the weather in NH was fabulous...sure beat the hot & humid 90's we had been having in FL during that time.   Because it was an unexpected trip, I did make Bridgette bring some school work with her.  One of the reasons I LOVE homeschooling is the flexibility!  I had her bring her TLP (Total Language Plus) work and her math...having her do a little extra than she normally would, and then when we got back, she could set those aside for a week while she got caught up on everything else. Then October brought about the vacation that Brian and I had planned back in March.  To celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary we spent 4 fabulous nights on Anna Maria Island, at this glorious little villa...that seriously was nicer than our own home!  We were able to relax on the beach or at the pool.  We ate great food especially The Sun House Restaurant  that was literally the best dinner I've ever eaten out!   Bridgette stayed with my parents while we were away...and yes I gave her school work to do that week as well! October also brought us a second vehicle!  Back before Brian's grandfather died, his parents decided that it was time to take his driver's license away.  So since he would no longer be driving, we made arrangements to buy his grandfather's van.  It's a 1997 Plymouth Voyager, with fairly low mileage for it's age.  Every October Brian's parents make a trip down to FL with their motorhome to winter it at their place here in FL (they haven't permanently moved down yet...but it's coming very soon!).  So Brian made plans to fly up and drive it home, following his parents down in the motorhome.  He'd already purchased his plane ticket when his grandfather died, or we would have planned to drive it home at that point.   I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it is to have this van.  I love driving it.  We'd been without a second vehicle for over a year, and it was okay at first...but after a while I started to feel trapped...and it was getting really old having to plan EVERY time I needed to go somewhere.  Plus now we have a vehicle where we can go places with my parents and be comfortable.  My parents have a Toyota Prius, and it's a nice car...but Brian is too tall to sit in the back...so me, my mom and Bridgette sit in the back.  Which when they first got it was fine, Bridgette was still a "little" kid then, but once she became a teenager it got kind of squishy for the three of us! Let's see, November...right now we are anxiously awaiting the end of this week, especially Bridgette who finally after 12 weeks of school - get's a real break!  We are looking forward to Thanksgiving...my parents are coming to our house this year.  And next year we are hoping that Brian's parents will be down here permanently and maybe they can host Thanksgiving?!?! Traditionally we decorate for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving, so we are also looking forward to that.  I am truly going to enjoy the season this year.  We have family gifts taken care of...in fact we sent our nephews & niece's gifts home with Brian's parents to save on shipping as they were big presents.  This past spring Brian won a telescope at the staff & faculty banquet during the door prize drawings where he works.  It was a really nice telescope, but unfortunately where we live there is too much light pollution...so we decided to give it to our nephews (ages 11 and 8) for Christmas.  They live in the boonies, and should be able to see lots of stars, and since they are also a homeschooling family it's really a perfect gift for them!  Our neice (age 4 1/2) is getting all the furniture and the house for Angelina Ballerina (that used to be available through American Girl) which belonged to Bridgette.  We had already given her the Angelina doll and clothes and books for her birthday and she loved it!  For us...as a family with my parents...we are getting Disney passes for Christmas!  Disney has a new option for Florida residents.  It's a week-day only seasonal pass (good for a year)...which is fine for us (again the flexibility of homeschooling!) and allows Brian to take a day off  every once in a while!  Plus being only a half-hour away, we can just go after he get's out of work for a few hours and not feel like  tourists trying to get it all in during the day.  There are black-out dates with this pass, so our first time going won't be until Jan. 4th, but it gives us something to look forward to after the holidays are over.  Not to mention that Bridgette get's an extra day off added to her Christmas break! Well that about covers it for now.  I'm going to try not to stay away so long next time! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/745569/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:52:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/745569/ It has been pretty much a lazy summer for us...and while that has been nice in a way...it may make getting back to a normal daily routine a struggle.  One good thing was that I had everything organized and ready to go back in June...so I wasn't scrambling all summer to get ready for this year.  But now I need to go over it all and remind myself of just what we are doing! Here's what we have planned for this year.  Bridgette requested that we read through the book of Isaiah for bible.  Our method of "bible study" has been that she would read the chapter on her own, then we would read it together and she would draw something that stood out to her.  Then we listen to the chapter on cd and there would be somesort of devotional from that passage.  This year with Isaiah being a longer book, we will have 2 chapters a week...with basically the same set up, but instead of the devotional part, I found an actual bible study for Isaiah (that I downloaded) that we are going to use instead. For History we are continuing with our unit study style method for more American History...with 1800's Pioneers and Westward Expansion being our topic.  I have several source material that I'm pulling from (with reading/ Q&A) as well as living books and notebooking assignments and some essay writing planned. Science we are using Apologia's General Science...and have purchased a lab kit to go with it as there are a lot of experiments to do.  We really enjoyed the Zoology 2 from last year, and I hope that Bridgette will enjoy science again this year.  But the book seems big to me and more involved than she's had before...so hopefully it will go well.  I would also love to see Bridgette participate in our homeschool group's annual Science fair this year...held in the spring...we should start researching ideas early! TLP/Writing - we are continuing with Total Language Plus (our 3rd year) and this year she will be reading Words By Heart, The Hobbit and Around the World in 80 Days.  We also purchased Painless Grammar to use  this year as well.  But the big thing is writing for Bridgette.  She has decided this year that she wants to become a writer.  This past year she has begun writing a couple of stories that have been in my probably somewhat biased opinion, very good!  So our plan is to focus more on writing in the coming years.  I originally was only going to give her creative writing assignments to do through out the year, but we recenlty got the opportunity for her to take a writing class with someone who has a bachelor's degree in English...so starting in September for 12 weeks she will be taking this writing class and we are very excited about that! Math - we are continuing with Math U See.  And as any of you know who have read any of my previous posts of what we use...Bridgette is a bit behind where 8th grade public school kids would be, but we are okay with that.  When we began homeschooling we decided to start over with math and get her feeling comfortable with it.  So this year we are moving into Epsilon...which if you are familiar with MUS focuses on fractions.  It's at this point in the game that even mom will be getting an education...I always had trouble with fractions.  And so from now on I plan to learn right along with Bridgette!  I'm not sure what "extra curricular" activities we'll be doing this year.  We decided not to stay with 4H...Bridgette only did a couple things last year and so we just decided it really wasn't worth it for us.  I wish there was someplace she could take dance - I mean obviously there are places to take dance, but we don't have the extra money to put her into a class.  She used to have her worship dance class...that was a free thing at our church lead by a volunteer...but unfortunately that is no longer an option and there isn't anything anywhere else that I know of.  So I guess other than going to some plays or other field trips, we probably won't do much.  Maybe that's a good thing?!   Well all this begins in just 4 weeks...Monday August 31st!  Perhaps this year will go by without any major distractions...such as whooping cough!!!! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/712481/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 13:51:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/712481/ Well, it finally happened. My grandmother is gone. (It's funny I almost thought she would outlive us all!) I'm not sure how I feel exactly. There are a lot of mixed emotions and it's hard to express what is going through my mind. But I'm going to try to put them into words. And maybe I can have closure and actually move on. When I was little, I loved my grandmother…but she wasn't your typical grandmother. First of all my grandparents didn't live near us. We were in New Hampshire, they were in North Carolina. So I really only saw them a couple times a year while growing up. She wasn't your "cookie" baking grandma…although she did make this fabulous cake - Sunshine Cake - LOL! When I was 5 she gave me yarn and material for my birthday (she was going to make me some clothes and a sweater). Now I don't necessarily begrudge her for that (well maybe a little) but, after all I was 5. What 5 year old is going to understand and appreciate the thought behind that? And who knows she may have given me other gifts that were more to my liking as a kid, and I just don't remember them - but that particular gift stands out in my memory. However, it's really not about the gifts …even though gifts as I discovered as an adult is one of my primary love languages. It was not hers. And that's okay. I know for myself I am not always able to give like I want to deep within myself…so I can understand for someone who doesn’t "speak" love in that way isn't going to for the most part. But my other primary love language is words of affirmation…maybe even more so than gifts…at least with her because she wasn't affirming with me. Instead she was critical…but it was always "sugar-coated". She said it was because she loved me and was concerned about me. Which I'm sure she was. But all I really ever wanted was for her to love me just the way I was…but in reality I never really did live up to her "ideal". In my heart I know that it doesn't really matter what she thought of me…God's opinion of me was all that truly mattered. Still it doesn't make the hurt completely go away. And I have forgiven her…but because I am human the memories remain. She was my grandmother and I should have wonderful memories. Don't get me wrong it wasn't horrible all the time…but the critical comments, and well meaning words are sometimes more vivid than any of the times that were positive. So here I am, wondering how I am supposed to feel. I'm sad, but I'm not sure for what reason. Am I sad because she's gone and I loved her...am I sad because I wish she had been different, am I sad because I feel guilty for not having gone to see her with my parents and Bridgette a couple of weeks ago, am I sad that I am relieved she is gone? All of the above? In truth, I've been waiting for her to die for several years now, as harsh as that sound. But I knew that once she did I wouldn't have to worry about hearing anymore of those well meaning critical words. That I would be relieved that it would finally be over. That I would be relieved that Bridgette wouldn't have to experience what I did. I feel horrible for feeling this way…but I am just that…relieved. I'm not sure what exactly the true nature of my grandmother's beliefs were…she claimed to be a Christian and I believed that she was saved even if it was in the simplest of terms…so my prayer is that one day after Jesus returns and we are experiencing eternal life, maybe then we will finally have that loving relationship that I have always wanted..the kind of relationship that I had with my Aunt Mary or with Brian's grandmother even. Only time will tell. Until then, I will try to focus on and remember the positive things about her. She was a talented painter (who didn't start painting until she was in her 50's! See the album "Some of My Grandmother's Paintings) She was a southerner through and through…and as a kid, after spending just a few days around her, I would begin to pick up her accent! I remember some of her distinct saying such as "Oh my stars"! I remember when she finally gave in to being called something other than "Grandmother" after Bridgette was old enough to talk…she became "Great Grandma Ruth"! Even the things that came from her strong "A-type" personality, that at times were aggravating as all get out, looking back are very funny - such as the time she was trying to "out run" a thunderstorm driving on some North Carolina back road! Or how she would get so frustrated with my Grampy (they had been married 60 years when he died in 1998!) when ever he would do something wrong…and she'd say "Oh Paul" with that southern drawl that just can't be mimicked in writing. Or how going to a store with her (in her younger days of 70 or 80!) was so amusing as she would rush down the aisles completely oblivious to whoever she was with or other shoppers…she had a mission to accomplish and wasn't going to let anything get in her way! This mentality showed up in other places too, she was an avid gardener, and even up until a couple years ago, would be out early in the morning every day to work in it. I remember as a kid at their house in North Carolina - before they sold it and moved to Florida - in their basement would be shelves and freezers full of canned or frozen fruits and veggies. She was thrifty and frugal almost to a fault, having gone through the depression…in a very large and poor family. She was an identical twin…the youngest of 30…yes you read that right! Her father had been married twice and had 15 kids with his first wife and after she died, he remarried and had another 15 kids! So in a way, I can understand why she was the way she was. Her life was hard, and it colored the way she looked at everything. The thing that I will take with me in regards to my grandmother, is this lesson…that even if someone isn't the way I think they should be, I will try to not judge them as she always seemed to do (and sometimes that is very hard)…that I will trust God to do whatever changes in that person that he requires…and rely on him to give me the love he wants me to have for that person…that God would give me the eyes to see them as he sees them, not how I think they should be. ("...Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7) I know in her heart that my grandmother did love me, and so I will look past the outward (how she showed that love in the things she said) and just try to remember that in her heart she did mean well. For me, I want my words and actions to match my well meaning heart…but, boy do I have a long way to go! Thank goodness I trust in a God who says that "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13) http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/701787/ Tue, 23 Jun 2009 13:06:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/701787/ Tomorrow officially begins our last week of school!  Yeah!  We are so ready for the break.  It's hard to believe that we are finishing up our 3rd year homeschooling!  I have been working for the past few weeks getting ready for our evaluation in June and organizing everything for next year.  And hopefully within another week or two, everything will be all set and I just might be able to enjoy the summer this year!   I am hoping to work on some scrapbooking this summer!  I should also work on some of my writing.  Both of these tasks require some inspiration.  And I have been feeling a lack of inspiration lately...sort of goes along with part of todays sermon.  To stay under the annointing...at least when it comes to my writing.  Bridgette's plans for the summer?  Well, I think she is looking forward to spending more time reading and writing.  I'm sure that we will be making several trips to the library over the summer!  I think she should learning how to use her sewing machine more too! But before we can "close up shop" for the school year we have plans to end with a field trip.   Since we've been studying Marine Science we are taking a trip to Mote Aquarium in Sarasota! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/689895/ Sun, 17 May 2009 14:51:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/689895/ Earlier this week,  I was reading about Martha and Mary...and thought I'd share some of my thoughts... Luke 10: 38-42 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." I am such a Martha! My thoughts are consumed at times with what needs to be done…(not that I actually get all that I want to do, done!) This is ironic considering one of my pet peeves is that when I'm on the phone sometimes and I say my name, "Martha" gets mistaken for Melissa. Maybe the reason why that bothers me so much is because I don't want to be Martha, and have God tell me that I haven't chosen what is better. It makes me feel like God is saying that I'm not good enough because I didn't choose the better thing. I'm not sure that’s what was meant by what Jesus said to Martha...that she wasn't good enough or that her intentions were wrong…because I believe that she truly did have it in her heart to please Him. But she let her intentions take top priority and took on an attitude that it should be everyone elses priority to do things her way. SIGH…I struggle all the time with balancing what needs to be done - getting motivated for what needs to be done…when really all I want is to just not have those things to do and just be able to focus on the "only one thing is needed". How do I disconnect my mind that is filled with all the practical everyday things so that I can focus on the "only one thing is needed"? I'm caught between the two in a way…somewhere between Martha and Mary… as the Casting Crowns song says "somewhere in the middle you'll find me...just how close can I get to my surrender…without losing all control"! And it frustrates me once again that it comes down to this...control! Picture me with one of those name tags "Hello My Name Is…Control Freak". I want to know how to be more Mary like without letting everything else get out of hand. And how did Jesus really feel about Martha? Did he appreciate her efforts? I have to believe he did…and yet there is still the feeling at times of not being good enough if I don't make the right choice. It's…the doing vs. the being...that always gets me. But Martha's attitude was more than just doing something to please Jesus…more than wanting things to be just so. Jesus said she was worried and upset about many things. She wasn't just carried away with doing for Jesus…she was aggravated that Mary wasn't doing for Jesus, that Mary instead was being with Jesus. It makes me wonder if Martha had taken the time to just be with Jesus for a while, would he at some point later, have worked along side Martha to help her get it all done? I think that he would have. That reminds me of Matthew 6:33... "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." That if I will take the time to just be with Jesus…everything else will fall into place. Oh why can't I remember that and take it literally! Take the time to just be with Jesus first and then afterwards he will take the time to help me get what needs to be done, done! It's so simple really, and yet I struggle with it everyday (and fail most days). It is a lesson that I still need to learn, put into practice...how about you? Do any of you struggle with this too? http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/679764/ Thu, 16 Apr 2009 12:34:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/679764/ Just wanted to take a moment to vent... I'm frustrated because my log in for Facebook is messed up.  There was some sort of error message last night on both mine and my daughter's Facebook home page that said our email addresses were no longer working.  Which was not true.  This morning I was able to log on but my Facebook home page still had the error message...so I decided to change some of my privacy settings and change my password just in case something fishy was up.  But then after changing my password and logging out I wasn't able to log back in.  It said that it was invalid.  I thought oh great now what did I do.  At least before I was still able to log in.  So I clicked on the "fogot my password" link which resets your password.  I thought okay now we're getting somewhere.  But unfortunately I never got the email that gives you the reset password so you can start over.  So I go to the help page...and find a link that says I'm not receiving the email to reset my password and follow that.  Finally I get an email from Facebook,  which requires me to reply...but as of yet I haven't received any more info from them.  My daughter however no longer has the error message on her home page.  And now I'm kicking myself for not being more patient and having a just wait and see attitude about it.  So NOW I wait to see what will happen since I can't get on at all.  Which is I fine - I can take a break from Facebook, but just the fact that I CAN'T log on is driving me crazy!  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/675868/ Sat, 4 Apr 2009 13:48:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/675868/ Well since this is supposed to be a blog for homeschoolers, I figured I should probably blog a little bit about our homeschoolling from time to time.  Most of my posts lately have been about things I'm personally dealing with on a spiritual level...and that's okay with me.  Writing about the things God shows me is a big part of who I am.  But another big part of who I am is a God called homeschool mom! This year has been interesting to say the least...filled with unexpected obstacles.  But overall our homeschooling has gone well I think.  At this point in the year, we are looking forward to some much needed time off...beginning next week with spring break, followed by summer break 7 weeks later!  So far Science has been Bridgette's favorite this year.  She is facinated with learning about Marine science and is a little disappointed to not be studying it next year.  But we will be moving on to other Apologia Science courses...which will eventually lead her back to their High School Marine Biology course.  Unfortunately for her, there are pre-requisites and so first things first.   Back to this year...her Ocean Box is coming along nicely despite some mishaps...namely one of our cats!  We made the mistake of leaving it on the kitchen table and Heidi (or should we call her the SEA MONSTER!) got into it and caused some damage.  We had claws broken off of the lobster and crab (who also lost an eye), a fish with a missing fin, the snail was relocated, the shark had some battle scars and the dolphin had some teeth marks on it's dorsal fin.   But Daddy felt bad about all of Bridgette's hard work thus far and helped her glue everybody back together!  History has been good for the most part...considering we have taken bits and pieces of a variety of materials to make a unit study of sorts on the 1700's Revolutionary War era.  We have gotten thru all the "activities" I had planned already, and so for the rest of the year she is just reading historical fiction of that time frame and probably doing some notebooking.  Which she is happy with...my little bookworm! Math, we are plugging away at.  There have been some frustrations...just little things that get to her.  But overall she is doing well For Bible we have been going thru the book of Acts...it's been interesting...and I am looking forward to watching the Acts Visual Bible on dvd when we have finished reading it all. Total Language Plus...She has completed 2 books so far this year, Julie of the Wolves and Twenty-One Balloons.  She is currently reading Swiss Family Robinson and seems to be enjoying it.  We don't use the grammar from TLP, but instead have a separate grammar workbook.  This has been a tough thing...she dislikes grammar with a passion.  And I have to agree with her.  There are some things that come pretty easy, but others are not and I'm not an expert and so there have been a couple of pages that we've skipped simply because I didn't understand how to do them either....even with the answer key I was confused.   Really when in life are we truly going to need to know how to identify predicate nouns, noun clauses or objects of the preposition in our sentences?    And I suppose having good grammar skills will be helpful for her in her writing endeavors, but seriously... That leads us to her writing.  Not to brag or anything, but my kiddo has some talent when it comes to writing.  She is writing the way I wanted to when I first got the writing bug.   My dream of writing fiction may just be realized in her.  This is the first time she has actually expressed a desire for something to do as a "career"...saying that she wanted to make money writing.  That is exciting to me, especially knowing what she has written so far.  I believe she will actually accomplish this goal.  She is a voracious reader, and gets ideas from and picks up on the styles of the stuff she reads and blends them all together with her own quirky humor and imagination.  Recently she had part of a story published in our homeschool group's kids newsletter...and has both sets of grandparents eagerly awaiting the rest of her story!  I might get her permission to post it here. Well that's about it for a homeschool update...I will have to post again soon about our plans for next year, and about how our evaluation goes for this year. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/674018/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 09:45:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/674018/  and yet another of my facebook reposts...  Goal...to become a God Pleaser (orginally written March 16th, 2009) Yesterday's sermon (Sunday March 15th) was about "Freedom from People Pleasing". Being a people pleaser isn't a term that I would have necessarily used to describe myself...but part of what being a people pleaser is, is to really care what others think of you. And that is something that fits me to a T! Growing up, I have cared what other kids thought of me, what teachers thought of me, what my parents thought of me (especially my dad), and what my grandparents thought of me (especially my grandmother). And as an adult I have also cared what other Christian's thought of me. As I look back...some of my "fear" of what others thought of me shaped my behavior...sometimes that wasn't a bad thing. The fear of what my parents and teachers thought of me kept me from getting into trouble at school. But then there was the fear of what other kids thought of me...which lead me to make some really stupid decisions, in order to prove that I was just as "cool as they were". The fear of what other Christian's thought of me has lead me to feel guilty at times because what I allowed in my life may not have been something they would allow in theirs - and so I'd feel like I must be a horrible person if I did something that another Christian wouldn't do. The fear of what my grandmother thought of me however, has probably caused the most damage in my life. Now don't get me wrong I love my grandmother very much. But her opinions on some things (that were both directly and indirectly related to me) have been very hurtful throughout my teen and adult years and they were a driving factor for me to always be thinking that I needed to "fix" the thing that she so "lovingly disapproved" of. I'm not sure that it will ever be "fixed" on this side of heaven...or if God even wants it to be "fixed". Not having it "fixed" might be his way of keeping me dependent on him...I don't know? As I have gotten older and more mature in Christ I have learned to look past my grandmother's opinions and comments, and "chalk it up" to being just the way she is. And of course forgiving her (just wish I could also forget...but perhaps that won't happen for a while yet?). But it shouldn't matter to me what my grandmother thinks of me or anyone else for that matter. What God thinks of me is much more important - and he doesn't look at the outward appearance, but what's in the heart. For the longest time I was afraid that the things that my grandmother thought were important for me to change...were also what God thought was important for me to change. That because I didn't live up to this image of what my grandmother thought I should be, that somehow I didn't live up to the image of what God thought I should be either. Maybe this is why whenever I have tried to "fix" this thing...I was never really successful...simply because I wasn't really seeking what God thought was important. In the past year or so, I have been more focused on what God thinks is important for me (not that I wasn't ever been concerned with what other people thought during this time...but it didn't seem quite as important)...and I've been trying to move forward in those things. Especially writing what God lays on my heart to write about. More and more lately I have been reminded of how different each of us are...how the experiences we go thru, the people in our lives, the circumstances we face all have a part in shaping us into who we are. We can never experience someone elses life - we can observe and be a part of it and even relate to someone elses experiences in some ways, but we can never be them. That's good tho...for God created us all to be different - Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. 1 Corinthians 12: 12-26 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. The 1 Corinthians passage in particular has been one that I hold on to, because it tells me that I don't have to "look like" anyone else. I can be who I am in Christ. That there isn't some Christian "one size fits all" mold that I have to conform to. And that if I am striving to do what God has prepared in advance for me to do as it says in the Ephesians verse - it would be foolish of me to do something different to try to please someone else. Then comes the issue of pride - I have to be careful of what I think about myself. Romans 12:3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. For myself, not only should I not think of myself more highly than I ought, but also I should not think of myself more lowly than I ought. One of the things from yesterday's sermon that I personally need to consider more closely is the difference between examining myself and judging myself. I tend to lean toward more of the judging myself (thinking more lowly than I ought) . There have been times when because of circumstances, or a comment someone has made whether well intentioned or not, has lead me to "beat myself up" or as I've heard Joyce Meyer say - cause me to have "stinkin' thinkin'"! And when I'm wallowing in some pity party about how horrible I am because of what somone else thinks...I'm not doing God one bit of good. What I need to do instead is to examine what's in my heart...hold it up against the Word of God (which is what he thinks by the way!). And ask him as it says in Psalm 139:23 & 24... Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. I need to allow him to do the judging...not let others or myself be my judge. Sometimes, even when God is trying to correct something in my own heart and life, I need to NOT take over what God is trying to do and "beat myself up". I know I am so guilty of making God's discipline way more difficult than it needs to be sometimes when if I would just submit to his loving gentle ways things would go a whole lot smoother...and I would achieve that goal of being a God Pleaser instead of a people pleaser. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/673767/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 14:47:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/673767/ and another of my Facebook reposts :-)  God is God and I am not... (originally written March 12, 2009 at 3:01am) Once again sleep seems to be an elusive thing...and so I'm praying about things that boggle the mind...and still not sure really how to pray exactly. Other than I am asking God to intervene and make things right. Thinking back to my last note about Philippians, (did I really only write that on Tuesday?) and it seems that already I'm faced with the fact that I have to remind myself about what I wrote! Talk about a test where God seems to be saying "here, lets see if you really meant what you said". And I begin to wonder if I truly am capable of practicing rejoicing, and thinking about all the "whatever is..." traits while another cloud of darkness rolls in...and all these other thoughts try to worm their way into my mind. Yet, God is faithful and always provides a way of escape. 1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. And my escape came in the form of another song. God seems to speak to me thru music quite a lot lately...and this particular one was a reminder to me that it's okay that I don't know. It's okay that I am uncertain about some stuff. As long as I am always certain about the fact that God is God and I am not. I can't see everything...or understand the why of everything...but I can rest assured that HE can see everything, HE does understand the why of everything and HE is in absolute control of it all. And so even tho my flesh tends to just keep dwelling on the negative thoughts...I am with the help of Jesus going to take them captive one by one and choose to rejoice in who HE is...which is HOLY, MIGHTY, LOVING and MERCIFUL! God is God by Steven Curtis Chapman And the pain falls like a curtain On the things I once called certain And I have to say the words I fear the most I just don’t know And the questions without answers Come and paralyze the dancer So I stand here on the stage afraid to move Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust God is God and I am not I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting God is God and I am man So I’ll never understand it all For only God is God And the sky begins to thunder And I’m filled with awe and wonder ‘Til the only burning question that remains Is who am I Can I form a single mountain Take the stars in hand and count them Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me He is first and last before all that has been Beyond all that will pass Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge How unsearchable For to Him and through Him and from Him are all things So let us worship before the throne Of the One who is worthy of worship alone http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/673762/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 14:41:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/673762/ I haven't found much time to blog here lately, but there have been several notes that I've put up on Facebook this past month so I'm reposting them here... Thinking about Philippians 4:4-9 Philippians 4:4-9 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. This has always been one of my favorite passages in Philippians...or maybe even the whole bible. It tells me that no matter what is happening around me, I need to be rejoicing in the Lord and focusing on the things that are good. Sometimes that is SOOOOO very hard to do. Especially for me - one who enjoys a good VENTING! But, sometimes the very thing that I need most when I'm in a difficult situation or seeing people around me hurting and in despair - PEACE - doesn't come from the venting, but from - REJOICING - the thinking and focusing on the true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy things...and giving all that I am anxious about to God in prayer and petition with thanksgiving. It's at that point that the peace of God comes and guards (protects) my heart and mind. And I think about the phrase in vs. 9 "put it into practice". To practice something means to keep doing something over and over again until it becomes easy...like second nature to you. So if thinking on the things that are good seems hard to me, then I guess I need to practice it more. Sometimes I feel like "venting" is necessary for me to get all the garbage out of the way. I have a hard time trying to decided if it's really a step I need to take sometimes or if my actions are in fact going in the opposite direction of Philippians 2:14 -15... 14Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe Is there a point where I just legitimately "need to get things off my chest" so that I can move on to bigger and better things. Or am I really just giving in to complaining and arguing? I'm not sure I know the answer to that. But a lot of times, the venting does clear my thoughts of the yucky things and allows me to refocus and see the things that are good so that I can rejoice. Does it always happen immediately after the venting? No, for me it can take time...there may be a lot of pent up garbage that has settled in for whatever reason, and it might take me days, weeks or months of shoveling it out (my vent outlet of choice as those who know me well is of course writing) so that I can begin to truely rejoice again. I think that I may be at that point in my life now. There have been some hard times in the recent months and I have vented a lot - not necessarily publically - and now I am feeling like most of the gunk has been removed and I am ready to rejoice again. Yeah I know it said to Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS...and in the midst of some difficult stuff it was REALLY hard to do that...and I'm sure that I failed miserably at it. But I did have moments when God would come shining thru the darkness and I would praise him in those glimpses of light. Again my thoughts come back to the practice aspect of rejoicing and thinking on the good stuff...and I wonder if the more I practice this in the light, when darkness threatens again, it just might be that much easier to rejoice in the Lord when that darkness looms overhead. And you know what they say about practice right? Practice makes perfect! So...practice, practice, practice!!! That will be my motto for a while I think :-) http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/673757/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 14:05:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/theincrediblejourney/673757/