Now blogging about our post-adoption blessings and challenges and the joys of raising and homeschooling 10 children for the Lord! We have 8 biological children and 2 girls adopted through ACFI who came home in Jan. 2008. Thanks for reading, may God bless you and your family. Please contact us by email-we'd love to hear from you!!! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:30:00 -0600 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:30:00 -0600 Today Sydney (3) had a half-hour fit over having to eat toast (BREAD) for breakfast. She threw the toast (and herself) on the floor, and after much screaming, whining, and grumping, settled down and was finally obedient enough to pick it up, ask nicely for a tissue, and sit down to eat the toast. (THAT is not the cute part!) This delayed morning devotions for a bit but we finally got to sit down and read Proverbs chapter 31.  We are discussing what it means to be virtuous.  After reading this passage, I ask if the kids know what "idleness" means.  Sydney says "you do not eat the bread".   It is very hard for me a few others  to contain our laughter (while we remember the earlier "toast issue").  But I manage pretty well and praise her for listening so well during devotions and tell her and the rest of the kids what "idleness" really means! Proverbs 31:27 (talking about a wife of noble character) She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. As far as the other affairs of our household, well, that will have to be in a later post!  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/745511/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:30:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/745511/ We successfully suprised Leona with her birthday.  She knew it was coming after Bailey's birthday (September).  She asked if she would be getting a cake, presents, and get to pick her birthday dinner.  I told her we would consider it if we thought she could handle having that much fun.  Her lousy behaviors increased for a while (mainly the wetting) and I think it was because she was trying to "wreck" her birthday.  So, we didn't tell her it was coming up and we completely surprised her.  I picked a dinner out of her long list of favorites- pizza, complete with soy cheese (she's on a gluten-free, milk free diet).  Of course, I was informed later that I picked wrong but what do you expect!  We gave her only a few small presents...a new princess cup, crayons, and a coloring book.  She got a cake and some soy ice cream, also a big treat because I don't often get to make special milk-free items.  So here is the picture of her special day: She got so overstimulated in just the hour-long time we spent having her "party", she could not calm herself while I spent time tucking Josephine in and got jealous when I tickled Josephine (she said "you didn't tickle me!).  So I knew that we were in for it at a later date!!  She managed to make good choices the next morning (using the potty instead of the diaper) and enjoyed her coloring time for a few days in her book.  Overall, she was OK for a few days(OK doesn't mean "normal"--she increased some other behaviors like vomiting her food back up and chewing it and was quite obnoxious about her birthday cake leftovers -I ended up freezing the last piece because she was so overly concerned and worried about it.  She also kept interrupting everyone else's "mom time" and more).  But then, "it" happened!  She was making wrong choices while we were all cleaning the bus (yes, I really mean a bus-I don't think I mentioned it but we recently "upgraded" to a 17 passenger shuttle bus!).  She had to sit and be bored while the other kids got to color and so she wet her pants in the bus (I'm so happy she is wearing diapers now!--and she does have to carry a bright green piece of plastic to put on seats she sits on in public).  Then, the next day I went to get her out of bed and I found this: Bet you can't guess what it is???  RAD gone MAD! Red spot on right:  blood, she bit her cheeks until they bled and spit the blood all over her bed (not a new trick for her but one she hasn't used in a while).  (The gray strips you see are the duct tape that we used to repair the plastic cover on her mattress!).  To the left of the gray strips:  yellow spot....yes, you guess it...peee!  Blue snibbles: pieces of her shirt sleeve that she bit and ripped off.  This one's a new trick for her although she has tried to wreck her clothes before, she didn't succeed to this degree.  And so, there you have it.  What happens at our house when Leona has too much fun!  In regards to Josephine, she has settled down for now.  Because of her recent outbursts, she is on increased supervision for a while.  This means I escort her everywhere, same as Leona and make many of her choices for her.  She doesn't really like this but is taking it well.  She can't go to her Sunday school and junior church classes until this improves.  She was a bit grumpy about that.  She had a bad morning before church 2 wks. ago (took some things out of a closet that she was not suppose to have yet and got in trouble for it)-then she had to sit with us in church and so she decided to not "listen" (turning her head when I signed to her).  This got her a seat by me,  and then she decided not to "listen" again-she got to go to the nursery with me (and the little ones) for a time out then.    I really think her outbursts are hormonal in nature and related on the onset of her period.  I took her to the doctor and her ran some blood tests (iron, thyroid) and they came back normal.  He told me many women who get out of control during their monthly cycle (and I would definitely say she was "out of control", kicking, screaming, spitting, hitting, punching, generally miserable and not "listening"!!), benefit from an antidepressant for the week before their period and a few days at the beginning (10 days total).   I don't really like to medicate my children but I think I may try it in addition to some natural treatments.   I never thought I would medicate my children but (after trying everything natural I could think of!) the doctor did prescribe some antidepressant medication for Leona that is mostly to help her sleep better at night (Desyrel).  This was definiely a small turning point for her probably due to the fact that she got more sleep-prior to that we were pretty sure didn't sleep much at all.  I am considering waiting to see if the herbal treatments I've been giving Josephine have started working to stabilize her hormones before giving her the Prozac.  I may wait and only begin giving it to her if she has a "bad day".   I am praying that the more natural treatments will work instead.  It's such a difficult decision.  On one hand, I don't even want her to have the "bad" days because she was doing so well (I don't think she wants to have the bad days either, she has apologized for being so out of control but still couldn't seem to be "in control") but on the other hand, I don't want to give her the meds.!!  Any suggestions (and much prayer!) would be much appreciated!!  On a more positive note, my older girls, ages 15 and 11 are getting into cake decorating.  They decorated Leona's cake (above) and made Eric's, Bailey's and Jeremiah's cakes also. The first one is made with regular icing and the last two are made with something called "fondant" which you roll out like dough.  It's very interesting.  The last two are gluten free cakes and Leona's was gluten-free and milk-free.  We have some yummy recipes that we've finally come up with!  Even Eric will eat them so that's quite a compliment! That's it for today...I need to go tend to all my sick kiddos!  I had time to do this because I didn't need to help any one with schoolwork today...they are all sick!!! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/741418/ Mon, 2 Nov 2009 08:59:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/741418/ You never know when you may have to hold down a kicking/screaming out of control child for an hour?  You suddenly have lots of extra poo/pee laundry to do? You never know when your RAD child will decide to take an extra hour to do her chore EXXXXXTTTTRRRAAA SLLLLOOOOWWLY? You really don't feel like getting out of bed (because sometimes you don't feel like dealing with this!!)? I have owned the book "Managers of their Homes" by the Maxwells for two years now.  I read it once and gave up!  I am now re-reading it with the intention of making a daily schedule for our house.  I have to admit that I am absolutely afraid to schedule my time!  I am afraid I will be extra cranky if we get off schedule or something!!  And, as you can see by the above examples, it would be very easy to get off schedule around here.   I am praying about this while I read the book.  On one hand, it would be wonderful if everyone knew what to do and when.  It seems like things would be less chaotic and less things would get left undone.  But it would also take a lot of getting used to and I'm not sure I'm up for such a big change right now!! Why?  Honestly, I am always writing about Leona's challenges and saying that Josephine is doing pretty well.  And she was, until she got "hormones" a few months ago.  And now, for the week before her monthly cycle, she is a bit out of control (hitting, stealing little things, lying, things she hasn't done since the first few months she was here).  That, and I've recently realized that she likes to "play dumb" with her schoolwork more than I originally thought!  She doesn't like that I've figured this out.  Twice this week, I got to hold her while she was kicking and screaming.  Josephine is also not happy about her new sleeping arrangement.  Bailey and Rebekah finally got to move into their own room.  They were very tired of having their things abused (Josephine likes to throw things!), smelled up, etc!  I can't say I blame them and they are older than Leona and Josephine-we never meant for them to stay 4 to a room for this long!  Leona is not liking this arrangement either.....I'll give you 3 guesses as to how she is letting us know!  Yep, you guessed it....peeing!   Thankfully, she has given up on the pooping for now!  This makes for a lot of changes......do I want to add the schedule yet????  Actually, I think I will still read the book and pray about it because I can see where it would be very helpful.  I guess i would just need to have a plan for the times when, well, things don't go as planned! Please join us in prayer for Josephine as well as Leona!  Thanks! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/737508/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:48:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/737508/ Well, it looks like Leona's new hobby might just be "pooping in her pants".  She now wears diapers-very big, bulky, adult sized diapers-2 of them to be exact.  And sometimes that doesn't hold it all!  Yes, gross, I know!  But I'll never tell her that!  If she knows I think poop is gross and her pooping "hobby" bothers me, she will do it MORE...LOTS MORE!  Out of the past 2 weeks, Leona has pooped her pants 7 days.  Today, she only chose to pee (twice)-I guess she wanted to cut me a break (just kidding!!).  We know she is just doing it to see if we will send her away....she told me we should throw her away in the trash can because she was so stinky.  I told her good mom's don't do that to their kids and washed her in the shower.    http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/727638/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:11:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/727638/ Today during devotions, Eric was reading from Proverbs 21.  We know at least one of the children was paying attention.  In the middle of the reading, Ian (age 7) said "Mom, you can't sleep in anymore or we'll be poor." http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/724490/ Sun, 6 Sep 2009 19:33:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/724490/ Step 1.  Gather required materials: 7 year old child who has pooped and peed their pants in their room water from shower 5 gallon bucket Step 2:  First, make child "ride" to the bathroom in a 5 gallon bucket (formerly used as a night-time potty for same child) to make your clean up easier.  Next, make child undress in bathtub, have them put their poopy/pee-pee clothes in a bucket (put lid on TIGHTLY).  Turn on shower and rinse remaining poo/pee off.  Say:  You know, all the bad things we do are called sins.  They are kind of like the poop you made in your pants.  God doesn't like sin.  But, Jesus is like the water.  If we ask Him to forgive the bad things we do, He will clean us all up just like this water is cleaning the poop off right now. 1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  Step 3: Sit clean child outside and SANITIZE the bathroom and bedroom. As you might guess, Leona has been backsliding.  The last two days  (Mon. and Tue.), she decided to try pooping her pants.  These were also our first two days of school and, more noteworthy, our first two days of morning devotions/Bible study.  Obviously, she does not handle change well.  And, of course, we all know what happens when we decide to study the Bible more...the enemy attacks! I have told her that she is not yet ready to do school work and will be required to sit quietly and watch while the other children have school time (about an hour).  I also told her that someday, when I think she is ready, I will decide that she can do school work again.  I gave her 3 "tests" this summer and she did well with the first 2 (not purposely doing her work wrong) but the third time, she acted like she didn't "understand" at first and then, she purposely got one wrong.  (You might wonder how I knew it was on purpose?....she told me which one was wrong while she was not even looking at the paper).  On a more positive note, I am so encouraged to see the children (even Ian who just started reading at the end of last school year) bringing their Bibles to the table and wanting to read the verses out loud.  I never expected this!   We are studying "The Narrow Way" by Pearables and are studying the character trait of "Faith" right now.  So, that's the most recent update...please keep us in your prayers! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/723356/ Wed, 2 Sep 2009 14:50:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/723356/ 1.  You have a child who does the exact opposite of what you say ALL the time.  In fact, this child will repeatedly do everything you tell them NOT to. 2.  You have a child who can chew the same bite of food for at least an hour. 3.  You have a child who, after taking that hour to swallow the bite of food, will vomit it up and chew it again later (especially during "cuddle time" with Mom)....you know, kind of like a cow chews the cud.... 4.  Your child refuses to eat or eats massive quantities of food until they are crying because it hurts (and still wants more). 5.  You have a child who tells you that "you are a mean Mom", "I don't like you", "this is a poo-poo family" or worse, depending on the negative vocabulary they have been introduced to.  6.  You have a child who has been potty trained for a long time but still chooses to put their pee and/or poop in places outside of the bathroom at least once, but probably more like multiple times, a day.  We aren't talking "accidents" here. 7.  You've seen your child reach down the back of their pants and smear something on the table.. 8.  You have a child who has done the above and you have had to respond by saying "WOW, that is such a cool new hobby you have, maybe you could practice it in your room for a half hour so you can be the best butt-crack germ smearer in the world!".. 9.  You have a child who has emerged from the bathroom and suddenly decided they want to rub your bare arm or leg (when they normally don't want to touch you).  Perplexed, it finally dawns on you that this probably wasn't a friendly gesture. 10.  When faced with the above, you had to respond by saying "Here's my arm, if you want, you can spend the next 15 minutes rubbing "potty germs" on it.  You might even run to the bathroom  and (pretend to) join in the fun.  You now escort your child to the bathroom to make sure he/she is not "sharing" any more. 11.  Your child regularly threatens to break things, tries to break things (like windows etc.), or run away.  Possibly attracts the attention of neighbors while trying to break the window out of the door. 12.  You own a door alarm and a security camera because of the above problem (and the below problem). 13.  You've found your child playing "the mommy bear kills the baby bear" with your 2 year old. 14.  You've had to hold your raging child against her will so no one else would get hurt. I could go on and on here....there are even some worse behaviors that we (praise God) have not experienced but others have....setting fires, mutilating animals-you know....that kind of stuff.   (All of the things in the numbered list are our personal experiences) But I'll stop!  The reason for this list is just to vent my frustation over other people's reaction to an attachment challenged child.  Sometimes, it is even more frustating dealing with these people than it is to deal with Leona's behaviors.  I just don't know what they are thinking sometimes!  Do they not see the 9 other "normal" children in our family?  Don't they see that one out of those 9 is also adopted and doing well?  Do they think that we just single out Leona and not let her have any "fun" because we don't like her (Well, she really DOES make it hard to like her!!)?   Don't they know what happens when they say she is a "good girl" or "well behaved"? (Once when this happened, she made SURE she wasn't being good by wetting her pants, purposely throwing up on herself and completely losing it!..I hope we're past this point!) It is true that she is always with me (no Sunday School, junior church, no VBS classes unless Eric or I are with her).  This is all she can handle for now.  She needs to learn what it means to be in a family and receive love first of all.  She is emotionally more like a 2-3 year old and that is how she is treated because that is what she needs, not because we want to be mean to her!   She DOES get to have fun, just not a lot of fun around people who aren't in our immediate family.  That is too stressful for her..  Mostly "fun" for her consists of playing blocks, playing with her doll, coloring, jumping on a trampoline. Keep in mind she doesn't get to roam the house, I KNOW where she is at all times and she needs to stay where I put her.  She usually has playtime for an hour or so in the morning and afternoon.   It took her months to be able to have this much fun!  I know that sounds weird but she was so angry that all she wanted to do was battle and would sabotage any efforts for fun.  The nicer we were to her, the more angry she got!  When she first started handling little spurts of fun, it was always followed by A LOT of anger!   But, praise God, she has even recently been able to do new things like play in the yard with her siblings (supervised!) and even try riding her 2 wheel bike and she did well.  OK, I'm done with my ranting.....Now for more of an update: Recent setbacks:  I gave Leona something with a little milk in, thinking that the gluten-free, milk-free diet wasn't that important.  She had a week and a half of wetting episodes!   One day, she even wet 3 times!  Yikes!   A few days here and there where she got mad and refused to obey.  Still not on as large a scale as before.  Mostly lasted a few hours each time. Recent progress: I've been able to verbally correct her successfully without her doing the behavior I asked her to stop 500 more times to make me mad!   She has stopped wetting again.  (No more milk!!!)  This could be in part due to our new "game" where Daddy, Josephine and I get a sticker on our part of the game each time she wets her pants.  The other teams include lying, new "hobbies" (see number 8 above), and disobeying.  They have lots more stickers than we do (we picked these teams carefully!).  Interestingly enough, She has even stopped using her "potty bucket" at night/early morning and is just waiting until I come to get her each morning to use the bathroom.  She even said she doesn't need the bucket anymore and so she has not had it in her room for about 4 nights.  She was not feeling well and came to me for comfort.  This is from a girl who fell ALL the way down the stairs and got up and walked back up them by herself-no tears, nothing.  She has said "i love you" a few more times and it hasn't been followed by any major downward spiral.  (just a note, she has also tried the "I love you" for manipulation too!).  She sometimes stops in the middle of saying "i love you" and just can't finish.  I tell her that it's OK if she can't say it and it's even Ok if she doesn't love me because I still love her and, even better, God loves her.  She smiles a lot more and seems happier.  Her angry glare has been replaced by what we call her "duck face" when she is upset.  She prays and asks God to help her learn about love.  I even heard her say "Thank you for giving me this family"......whoa!  There is so much more I could say, I just don't seem to have the time!  Again, I want to thank all of you for your prayers for us in this difficult situation.   Keep up the great work!         http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/719568/ Fri, 21 Aug 2009 18:20:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/719568/ Since the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach was working so well on her talking the wrong way, we decided to see if it would work on a few other things.  Mainly, her endless stupid quiestions(yes, I know, I've heard it said that there are no stupid questions BUT...you don't live with Leona!)and annoying chatter.  So, I hired all the kids to think of a lot stupid questions they could ask her.  The only rule was that she could not be eating while they were asking her.  Do you know that 6 kids (and me too!) can come up with A LOT of stupid questions.  Hey Leona, how many ears do you have?  Do you have 2 eyes or one?  Is your hair blond?  Hey Leona, what is your name?  Am I your sister (boy asking)?  It seems to be working quite well!  She has actually come to a point where it is difficult for her to stay angry with us (so funny to see this!) so asking her all these questions does not provoke her to wrath (although a few months ago, it may have) and she actually laughs even though she may be a little annoyed.  BUT, she started to ask a dumb question and caught herself and turned it into a joke instead.  SO, I think it may be working.  Of course, she has lost more control and has to try to make up for it in other areas.  She went back to her old standby of wetting her pants twice this week.  I happily cleaned it up for her "because I love her".  She said I was "grumpy" (because I cleaned it). Strange how that works! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/712260/ Tue, 28 Jul 2009 19:14:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/712260/ http://www.globalorphanoutreach.com/index.htm Scroll down to "Click here to listen to speakers" ...Parenting by faith: Dealing with Bonding issues Very encouraging! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/710815/ Thu, 23 Jul 2009 20:16:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/710815/ Well, Leona's pretty good behavior continues.  After the last round of good behavior was followed by the worst yet (poop-smearing incident), I was really thinking we were in for it!  Well, actually I still am thinking that!  She did have a few days of semi-backsliding that included wetting on her bed while she was sitting in her room for an hour.  But, she still has some pretty irritating behaviors even on her good days.  These include:  chattering and singing almost constantly and asking A LOT of questions.  Mom, who is that?   Who are they married to?  Do that person have a brother or sister?  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!  Most of the time I think she knows the answer already!  To remedy this, I've just been having her put her hand over her mouth to remember to be quiet.  I don't think it's working very well but it does give our ears a break!  Another one of her favorites is asking to use the bathroom frequently when she doesn't really need to.  Not sure how to deal with that one!  (She still needs to ask permission for everything-that way I know where she is!) By far the one we've had the most fun with is her mispronouncing words on purpose!  It didn't work to correct the mispronounciation...NO WAY, that just made her do it even more!  So, we've adopted a new method:  If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!  Yes, we now clean only the dirky (dirty) park (part) of the floor.  And we garden in our rented garden plop (plot).  Complendo (Comprehendo)?  One night Bailey was "acting" like Leona.  It went something like this:  Me: (pointing to a spot on the floor) "Bailey, why don't you clean the dirky park of the floor?"  Bailey: "Which dirky park? This dirky park?(going in the total opposite direction of where I pointed)"  Me: "No, not that one, this one (ponting again)"  Bailey: "(going in different opposite direction) This dirky park?"  Leona started laughing and laughing as it dawned on her that we knew her "dumbness" was just an act!  Then we have the "hard of hearing" act which can be quite frustrating!  And the "can't get anything quite right" act.  All for control!  And she will try her hardest to gain that control!  Even if it's negative! Like wetting in her bed every 6 days because I told her she could have a restaurant treat if she went for a whole week being dry!  (To remedy that, I took all the kids to Burger King on a day that she wet and got them all restaurant food, including her!).  It is so difficult to know what to do though, it took me a LONG time to figure that last thing out!  I am thankful to have a God who gives wisdom to those who ask on my side!  More updates: Noah:  still playing trumpet, buying lots of stuff at yard sales to sell on ebay (says he has to do this because we don't give the him an allowance!) Rebekah:  singing and playing the guitar.  We recently got a great deal on some intermediate level guitars and amps on cragislist. Bailey and Bekah were so happy!  Shaun, Ian, Samuel:  LEGOS LEGOS LEGOS!  And swimming!        http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/709241/ Sat, 18 Jul 2009 22:07:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thezeppfamily/709241/