me + thought processes = unpredictable outcome m + tp = uo http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:37:00 -0500 Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:37:00 -0500 Greetings, Earthlings! I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats, but allow me to give a brief introduction. My alias is Mantirwen, and I'm a packrat. (Hi, Mantirwen.) Over the years people - usually members of my family would tell me I had a problem. I didn't want to admit it because because I didn't want to let go of the things I'd collected around me. But, through no fault of my own, I ended up maturing over the years. I really realized I had a problem when I considered the idea of moving. Now, we don't know for sure if we'll move, but at this point in my life, even the idea was enough to make me look around and go, "Wow... I don't want to move all this stuff." So, without further ado, I present some of the highlights of my clutter-weeding over the past week or so. -A whole lot of dolls and stuffed animals from storage. Some of them I didn't remember even on sight. Yeah. -Small, rectangular slips of paper on the floor of my closet. Perhaps once destined to be tickets, but discarded in a fit of memory loss? -Some things I'd forgotten I had but still don't want to get rid of. Like the figurine that used to be my sister's, the one of the Indian - er, Native American - on a horse shooting his bow. I used to think it was so cool. And for some reason I can't part with it. -Dolls with hair falling off. And some of those I can't bear to part with either. *sigh* Maybe someday. -You know those drinks that come in the little plastic barrels? Well, apparently I once thought they were cool. I found on in a toy box. That I could part with. -I finally read this Illustrated Classics edition of The Count of Monte Cristo. More interesting than I expected. But talk about depressing! Yeah, didn't need that around. I don't even remember when I got it... -You'll love this. In my closet, in a plastic storage box, I found... drumroll, please... candy wrappers! I'd forgotten I had them. There were at least four sandwich bags full of them. I was glad to be alone in the house, because I could talk to myself. I said "wow" a lot over that one. :) If you happened upon this blog and read that... well... I'm sorry. Gather up your shreds of sanity, flee, and never come near this place again. Unless of course you don't mind the insanity. :) http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/721100/ Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:37:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/721100/ So. Providence. In my last blog post I concentrated on our trip, and how good it was. I barely touched on the providential aspects at all. I mean, suddenly after this trip I'm looking back at the past year, and more, and thinking, "Oh, THAT'S why!"  (Despite all the things I'm sure I can't remember.) It's a privilege everyone wants, but rarely gets. So I'll try to savor it, and wait patiently for the next piece of the puzzle. Maybe it will be the one I half-expect, or maybe it will open up a new section of the puzzle I never dreamed was there. Patience is hard. Before all this obvious providence was thrown in my face (the only way I'll ever notice it, quite frankly), I was frustrated with the way things were. I still get frustrated a lot. But I can feel change in my blood. If the feeling is right, change is coming. O Lord, help me keep this feeling of wonder and readiness. Help me to be properly mobile. So, whether you're frustrated or excited, it's always hard to wait. Reminds me of a poem I wrote once, about how we're always running toward something. The object isn't always good, but we're always running. It's in our nature, I guess. Anyway, this started out as a post to tell you about the providential things that have been going on, but it took on a life of its own. So that will have to be a subject for another time. Maybe in another week or so we'll know what's going on... Insofar as we can know. Until then, I really hope I can expend all this nervous energy on something productive. People I saw on the trip? I miss you. People I didn't get to see at church last Sunday: I miss you. See you soon. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/715218/ Fri, 7 Aug 2009 12:41:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/715218/ Were we only gone a week? As we started on our long drive home, Daddy commented that it seemed like more than that, because of the three very different sections of the trips. But no, it wasn't travails. Sure, there were hard bits. But come on: we were away from home. We were out of our comfort zone. Discomfort is to be expected. And as for me, the discomfort was eclipsed by the good parts of the trip. We spent two nights with my grandma and aunt and uncle. That was a quiet time of renewing a little knowledge of mommy's side of the family (not all of it - there's a lot to know!), of talking, of taking pictures (or trying to - now I know where mommy gets her aversion to cameras from: it seems to run in the family :-) ), of quietness. We picked blueberries. The time passed quickly, with many of the clocks' chimes going unnoticed (once I got used to them :-) ). The second and third phases of the trip were much more unexpected, so I have more to say about them. The second phase was the FORC synod/conference. I expected to meet a friend who I've known from online for three years now. That came true, and rather well, I thought. :-) I also expected to wander around the rest of the time, make some acquaintances with whom I would have a relatively pleasant though uneasy relationship, and be semi-bored the rest of the time. On that count I could not have been more wrong. People helped us carry our luggage up to our rooms. I thought, "Okay, nice people. This is slightly awkward, though." It was very awkward, not knowing anyone. After awhile we settled down on the deck overlooking the lake with someone Daddy had met at other synods. (Mommy and I had never been to any before this one.) Gradually more people joined us. There was some amusing jocular insulting going on between two of the men that helped me relax a little. Then it was time to go to supper. I stepped off the deck and something behind me caught my attention. A teenage guy was grinning and trying to push an obviously shy girl to "go say hi". I saw the situation in an instant. They were right next to me; I could tell she was supposed to say hi to me. But she was so shy. All at once I was both amused and, as a sometime introvert-becoming-extrovert, protective. How dare he push her before she was ready? I "rescued" her by introducing myself, and gave the incorrigible guy a hard time when he tried to get her to say something. Long story short? I ended up friends with them. And with their friends. Three days later, when we had to say goodbye, it was like I'd known them for... I don't know. It's not like I know everything about them, but they were as easy to talk to as if I'd been a part of their group for months, if not years. How did that happen? Does it even matter? Isn't it enough that it happened? Even if we had to say goodbye? But we exchanged contact info. No way I'm giving up on them that easily. (Hear that, guys? You can't get rid of me, haha.) And I love that when dear Chloe (my friend from online) showed up, we got along quite well. And she got along well with my new friends. She honored me with a wonderful gift - a watch that she's worn a long time, to her European travels this year, to camp last week, and who knows where else. And she had the brilliant mind to put it on an elastic hair band when the watch band broke. Think of the handiness of that and I'm sure you'll agree all watches should be sold thus in the future. So then we left. That was hard. But then we went to spend a couple nights with friends of the family. And I was wrong again. I thought it would be awkward, since I barely knew them, having moved away when I was quite young. But there was hardly any awkwardness at all. They're just not that kind of people. There was talking and walking and taking pictures. I think this was a necessary part of the trip, to wind down and heal before going home to resume normal life (as the first part of the trip was necessary to ease into traveling) - though hopefully not quite as normal as before, if I can help it. I really needed to get out of my comfort zone. I can see now that it wasn't as great as I thought it was. There are great things about it that I think I shall keep, but a lot of it could use remodeling. O Lord, don't let me turn into a concrete statue again. Help me to be properly alive and industrious and aware of people who need me. Help me not to let the dust collect on me again. So, all in all, it was brilly. Positively brilly. Best kind of senior trip. The kind we needed.The kind money can't buy. It was providence. Seriously. No one but God could have arranged it so well. And, from this blog post, you don't know half of the providential things. It was beautiful to see. Thank you, Lord. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/714420/ Wed, 5 Aug 2009 12:08:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/714420/ Yeah. I should. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/675766/ Fri, 3 Apr 2009 23:44:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/675766/ Maybe it's because spring is coming. Maybe it's because I've discovered I can be the opposite of shy. Maybe it's the confidence from not just that but the way this story I'm working on seems to be coming together. Maybe it's all of the above. Would you think I was crazy if I said I was going to try to put on a play? I feel a little crazy. Yes, I've been feeling a little wild, just a tiny bit not-quite-tame. That could spring coming. But it makes me wonder if I really am a little crazy, a little wild. What makes me think this most is that I feel like it would be okay if I was. Hey, I can walk up to people and talk to them! Even sometimes have things not go my way or have plans change mid-step and actually deal with it instead of getting upset. I can survive long pauses and still come up with something to say. I can deal with the stress of someone pouring out their problems to me, because I love them. So, what it this then? Is this growing up? Goodness! If they'd told me it was like this, full of confidence and life, I might have signed up sooner, haha. So now. Putting on a play. Script, people, location, money, time. Time, no problem. :) The rest I'll deal with one at a time, and then we'll see. I've wanted to be in a play. We'll see. Lord willing, this will work. My sister and I we were talking on the phone recently about something completely unrelated. It was then that she said I sounded completely psycho. Allow me to respond with a disturbing, too-wide grin. Psycho? Dunno. Crazy? Always! And you should know. :) http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/670943/ Fri, 20 Mar 2009 23:53:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/670943/ So, at one time I thought I was done with braces, and anything remotely resembling them (aside from my retainers, which are tolerable). But I have one stupid second molar that is rebellious. So yesterday I had an appointment to but in two small brackets. Bear with me here, this is the part that may confuse some people, so if you don't get it, that's ok. The tooth that needs to be moved inward is in the top set of teeth. So one bracket was put on the outside of that tooth, and the other bracket on the inside of the tooth below it, so that I can run a rubber band from one to the other. And I have to wear retainers to keep the lower, anchoring tooth from moving. So I have to wear the retainers and rubber band all the time - except for eating and brushing. So it's moving teeth. And it's sore. It's been a long time since my teeth were as sore as they were this morning. I ate breakfast and then barely managed to make myself put my rubber band in. Mommy was concerned, so she called the orthodontist office, and they told me to take either Advil or Motrin. (Lol) So I'm on ibuprofen and it doesn't bother me as much. Hardly at all right now, actually! Which is good. But it might be nice not to have to wear this all day and all night, and not to have to chew with a piece of metal next to my tongue. In case you haven't tried this, it's also painful, but I guess I'll get used to it. I HOPE I'll get used to it. Anyway, thanks for reading. Now that I've written this, hopefully I'll stop trying to get sympathy. Ahem. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/668537/ Fri, 13 Mar 2009 22:24:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/668537/ or, I Never Thought I'd Be So Happy To Be Called Schizophrenic Greetings, Earthlings! Sorry I haven't posted in so long - I haven't forgotten, I've just been busy and didn't think I had anything blogworthy. Those of you who still check my homeschoolblogger.com blog, kudos. Anyway. Youth group last night. It's a temporary youth group, with several kids from outside our church who I didn't used to know. Temporary, because it's an eight-week thing call Discipleship Explored, which is quite good, really, and I've been helped by it. But I must admit, I always look forward the fellowship, probably even more than the bible study (to my shame - I'm not sure I can help it, but I'll try to work on it). At the moment, it's my one regularly-occurring chance to just spend time with people in my age group. I mean, adults are all very well, but grown men are rarely half as amusing as teenage guys, especially when they've had sugar. :) So this last week was the seventh lesson (next week is the last, and I don't know when I'll see some of these people after that, which is rather sad). Before each lesson we have some time for fellowship, during which the boys usually play basketball outside and the girls play a quiet game inside. Pause for amusement at this segregation. Yesterday, though, was beautiful, with spring-like weather and gorgeous stiff breeze (I love wind), and everyone was getting over or had recently got over a nasty illness (which I'd had too - it wasn't pleasant), so the girls stayed outside to watch Caleb and Harrison - and later Peter - play basket soccer. (My father came up with this name. It's where you try to kick and head-butt a soccer ball to get it through a basketball hoop. And maybe you get points if you can hit a car, though this is unconfirmed. And maybe you can use your hands if you want. The rules seem rather fluid.) It was very amusing. I got hit with the ball once and, as it didn't hurt much or long and they made their second basket soon after I felt as if I had contributed. :) We played Knockout (not as violent as it sounds), except a couple of the girls, and I was naturally knocked out on my first try. I'm really not that athletic. Really. Brian and Deanna arrived and Colby appeared from wherever he'd been, probably with Calvin (who, along with Caroline, was still sick). Deanna and Colby played basketball a little while, which was also amusing. Caroline was outside in a hammock (she and Calvin were supposed to stay away from the rest of us most of the time, since they were still sick) and i talked to her for a few minutes before going inside for the Bible study. I enjoyed myself very much because I felt as though we had all pulled together, Not just the girls with the girls and the guys with the guys, but all of us together. Discipleship Explored is a study of the book of Philippians. This lesson was on Phi. 4: 2-9 and concentrated on rejoicing in the Lord. But in the discussion, as in all good discussions, one thing led to another (well, we were led by the questions, I suppose) and we were talking about how to replace bad thoughts with good ones. Piping up, I said that I often just tell certain thoughts to shut up. The pastor (who's been doing a good job of leading the study) asked if that works. I answered "Sometimes." Then the pastor asked how that works... and who was talking to mind (or something like that). Then Caleb spoke up and simply said "Schizophrenic." I was so happy, but I managed to laugh and say "Yeah." Why was I happy, you might ask? Because I think that was Caleb's way of showing he has accepted me. I think Colby and Harrison might also have accepted me. Raquel, if she's reading this, knows how hard it would have been for me four years ago to even think about talking to people I barely know, let alone a boy! :) Even now, it's not easy, especially when the guys and girls separate into their own groups. But somehow, this time, I managed to break through the barrier. I guess, in a way, it's not a big difference, since I may have moved from, "Oh, yeah, her" to "Oh! Yeah, her." But to me it's kinda monumental. So I am happy to be called schizophrenic. I hope you now see why, and weren't befuddled my muddled mind. And weren't bored by my long, boring post about a bible study you didn't go to, and people you don't know. :) Kudos to those who endured to the end. Sorry I didn't have a big finish for you. A quick anecdote, though. Since we'd all been sick, every so often someone would cough, and when someone said something funny, well, everyone coughed instead of laughing. But I guess you had to be there. :) Be well. Don't get the illness I had. *shudder* Until next time - and I'll try to not make it so long until the next post. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/666873/ Mon, 9 Mar 2009 12:49:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/666873/ Annie the goat, who was living with another family, died in her sleep last night. We were thankful for her gentle ways. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/645414/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 12:05:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/645414/ ...open up you bible and then wonder, "Now what did I come in here for?" http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/642431/ Wed, 7 Jan 2009 12:33:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/642431/ Greetings, Earthlings! I've decided to start giving you a little knowledge about me by way of what books I'm reading. If anyone finds it at all interesting, I'll try to keep it up. Hopefully it will be  an incentive for me to read more and post regularly. Random book on my shelf: Sideways Stories From Wayside School by Louis Sachar Random book I like: Rose Daughter by Robin McKinley What I've been reading: Down the Long Hills by Louis L'Amour (finished it yesterday, in fact!) A Study in Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle To Tame a Land by Louis L'Amour (I'm going to read other authors soon, I'm sure. Finished this one, too.) Non-fiction I've been reading: the assignments from my voice lesson. It's fairly interesting, really. Something I want to/should read: more Sherlock Holmes! and probably more nonfiction. So, any feedback? Questions? Reading suggestions? :) Oh, and let me know what you think of the form, too. I was going for something that covered the basics but wasn't too extensive (because that would take a long time to fill in). You know, (about A Study in Scarlet) I've been surrounded by Sherlock Holmes imitations pretty much all my life, but never actually read the real thing. There's Baker Street, the Sherlock Holmes musical, which we had a tape of, that I listened to since I was young enough to mistake the song "Roof Space" for being about meat pies ("oh the view is thrillin'!") Then there are those old movies with Basil Rathbone, of which I've seen a couple. And - get this - I've read Sherlock Holmes fanfiction -- published fanfiction. But there's been a Sherlock Holmes TV show on PBS that my father and I have been watching, which intrigued me more than ever. Amazing actors. And now, I'm finally reading the first (I think) Sherlock Holmes book, and find it quite interesting. Took me long enough, huh? Like I said, feedback is welcome. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/641759/ Sun, 11 Jan 2009 08:23:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/uo/641759/