Welcome to my blog! I am a homeschooling mom of 6. We have lots of struggles, but i guess what family doesnt. This blog is to help me deal with these issues. It is my journal. Possibly even partly, my sanity, lol. It is social for me, as well. I hope to make some friends thru the blogging world. So please, feel free to read and add comments. Id love to hear from you! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/ en-us Homeschool Blogger Sat, 12 Dec 2009 09:58:00 -0600 Sat, 12 Dec 2009 09:58:00 -0600 We LOVE the movie Elf. It is hilarious. Will Ferrell, although he does some bad stuff in his other movies, is hillarious in this movie. We just laugh and laugh. Ive lost count of the number of times we've watched this movie, it just never seems to get old. Anyways, theres a part in the movie when his dad says he doesnt want him anymore and to get out. Hes walking all alone on a lonely New York City street and says "I dont belong here, I dont belong anywhere" I'm so there. Maybe its satanic attacks. Maybe its just me being stupid. Maybe It's that I know that there are people watching every move I make and then goin behind my back and talking bad about me. I really dont know.  I visit down home and absolutely love it. But it doesnt feel like where im supposed to be. I feel the very same way at home. In Newark. At my house. At my church. Everywhere. I just dont feel like I belong. What's wrong with me? I used to run when I felt like this. Im living in Newark and start feeling like this, I move down south. Then, when I start feeling like this again, I move back to Newark. But, I cant run anymore. It doesnt help anyways.  Its just a temporary bandaid. BUT GOD!!! There is a place that I do belong. Theres a mansion being built for me right now!! I do have a home, and its full of love and grace. My precious Lord and Savior is there. Along wiht many of my loved ones. I cant wait to go!! Praise God that one day He will come get me and take me home!!! Praying that He will help me to deal with this until then. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/751479/ Sat, 12 Dec 2009 09:58:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/751479/ This is a dilema I wonder if I'll ever get a grip on. How to run our homeschool. Im so in between on so many things, that Im honestly, just confused! I want to have a schedule. I want us to go by a daily routine. You know, get up at a certain time, do school, free time, family time, a good routine. But, also, I love being laid back. I want to be able to drop everything to help a friend of family member when needed. I want to be able to take time off for sickness without feeling like were getting behind and will we ever catch up. I think our family, for the most part does better when we get up early. Even though im NOT a morning person, (I HATE mornings but love staying up all night!!) But 2 of my kids, Ive noticed, fuss all day and then are happy in the evenings. Maybe their just night owls liek their momma? Maybe I need to re vamp things and make it bette for them. They also seem to struggle in school. But I have 6 kids, if I did what works best for all of them, I would do nothing but sit with them all day long and do school. (1 early, then 1 later on, then 1 later and so on) I know Im not the only mom of a loarge family to homeschool. How do I do it? Where do I draw the lines? Its so confusing when Im right in the middle and not sure which way to turn. I know we're called to homeschool. Right now, Im not doin such a great job. Part of it could be that Im really down on myself lately. Really struggling.. as usual. But part of it is that I just feel so clueless. Well, not just feel clueless... You would think after 8 years of homeschooling I would have it down by now. It seems every day presents new issues and I guess Im overwhelmed with them all. Anyways, thats not where I wanted to go with this post. I want to find that "right" way of doing school/life with our family. Im sick of trying new things nad getting everyone confused. I wish there was a "supernanny" for homeschoolers!! Actually, Ive thought of calling good ole Jo many times :) Thanks for reading. I often wonder if anyone even reads this. Please leave me comments if your here :) Have a GREAT day!!! ~~Steph http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/749148/ Thu, 3 Dec 2009 09:00:00 -0600 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/749148/ This is the title of the devotional I got in my email this am. Honestly... Im TERRIFIED of snakes. i promise you, no one on earth is more afraid of snakes than me!! I actually almost didnt read it just because of the title!! (I should I say, i dont know how to give proper rights, but the devotional Im talking about is a daily email I get from Alpha Omega Publications. ) The write of t his devotional talked about how she lives in the west and there are snakes everywhere and you have to watch out for them. Also,  you have to learn the difference between the posionous and "safe" ones. (their all posionous to me because if i see one, its a heart attack and death!!) One day, her son actually found one in their sandbox!! The point of the lesson is to not let fear take hold of you. I have definitly let fear take hold of my life!! So much, that I dont even know how to talk to anyone anymore. Were not hermits by any means, we go places, but for the majority of our lives, we just stay at home and do nothing. Now, its not all due to fear. Please dont get me wrong, were not sitting in our house cowaring and hunkered down in the living room or anything. But our lives have become very lonely. my husband goes to work, we do school, then we meet back at home and everyone goes into their own corners of the house. its sad, really. But even t hat isnt the point im trying to make, so ill move on... When I was younger, I was painfully shy. When I got a little older, I moved to a different town. In that new town, I told myself that I was starting a new life. I was going to pull myself out of that shell and start living and forget being shy. I did that. I made a lot of mistakes. I went a little too far that way, but I pulled myself out. Now, all these years later, I seem to have crawled back into that shell. I stay at home. I dont get to talk to a lot of people, my neighbors refuse to speak to me.  I dress as comfortable as i can (jeans and a t shirt) and i just live here in my little shell that Ive made for myself and my family. But we're missing out on life!!! I still live in that town that I moved to years ago. I moved away but then came back. Its time for me to once again pull myself out of thise shell.  Start living life!!!! So for today, I dressed nice! I put the sweater on that I was planning on wearing to church on Sunday. I also decided to not wear the tennis s hoes, but wear my boots. Dressing it up a but. I even put make up and a necklace on. (my mom will be so proud lol)not because Im going anywhere, actually, Im staying home today taking care of sick kids. Then, tonight, Im going to the grocery store with my mom. But even dressing nice, helps me to feel a little better about myself. This is going to be hard. I have to teach myself all over again how to be social. sad... very sad!!! But im sick of me and my kids sitting around fighting about the computer and the tv all the time and missing out on life. The kids are sick, so we cant go anywhere today. (doesnt it figure lol) But next week, when their better (i hope!! were finishing up  week 2 of this!!) were no longer home bodies. were going out places. Were going to start talking to people! were going to find some friendships and start living life!!! I WILL pull myself out of this shell! I WILL remember who I am in Christ and quit worrying about the stupid things! I WILL start living life and go out and meet people! I WILL start talking to people and develop relationships for me and my kids! I WILL be a better peron! I will need prayer, also. If this was hard before, its wayyyyy harder now. Not only do i have to pull myself out of this, but also my 6 children. Im tired of this way of life. Were supposed to be witnesses to the world. Why would anyone who knows me right now want my life? ive not shown Jesus to anyone. What a shame. All these years... WASTED!! Time to stop! Computers ok. Tvs ok. Being at home and having some down time is ok. But its not life. Now, if I can just make my family see that... http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/740612/ Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:47:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/740612/ Twenty four hours ago, I had never heard of a little girl named Somer that lived in Florida. I first heard of her when my mother in law said to me, "Did you hear about that seven year old thats missing in Florida?" yesterday morning. That evening, my mom picked me up so we could do our weekly grocery shopping together. As we got in the car, and said goodbye to my little ones who were outside playing, my mom said to me, "Did you hear that they found that little girl... in a landfill." I was devastated. I dont understand how evil our world is. I dont know any specifics on this case, but who even needs to, to know that its sick, evil, I cant even think of enough bad words to describe this kind of horror. This morning, I woke up very early (and Im no where near being a morning person, so that rarely happens!) partly because my stomach hurt. But also, because, I dont know why, but I kept thinking of this little girl and her mother. Praying for the mother. How devastated she must be, my heart  just breaks for this woman. Then, the news came on. They ran a story about her and talked to the mom. They asked her repeatadly if she felt guilty. Why would they do this to her? Of course she does, what mother wouldnt. It was then that the mother broke down in tears. After getting her to this point by their questioning, the news lady said "aw well, you cant blame yourself dear" My heart broke even more for her. I was bawling. I mean, tears streaming down my face and guts wrenching, as if it was my own daughter. Then the news said that she had siblings who were with her right before she disappeared. I couldnt even handle the death of my brother when I was 30 years old,. let alone being a small child. My heart breaks for this family. Today, they have to go to a funeral home and prepare a funeral for a 7 year old. That should never have to happen. But, living in a fallen world we have to deal with it. But when it happens this way... sick... just sick. I dont know if this family knows our awesome God, but I pray for them. I pray that God will wrap His awesome loving arms around them today. And that somehow, He wouldget glory thru this. That, if they dont know Him, that they would come to know Him thru this tragedy. And to know that thier precious little one is in Heaven with Jesus right now, safe and sound.   The mother stated that what keeps her going is that she wants to make sure that justice is paid. It will be. I hope they get this person off the street before he can attack again. But even if they cannot find him, God knows exactly where he is, what he has done, and will give just punishment to him. This precious child was important to God as well. I dont know that I could survive the loss of one of my children. But my God says "My grace is sufficient" and "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me" Lord, today I pray for your grace and strength on this family. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/738393/ Fri, 23 Oct 2009 07:07:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/738393/ I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! When October comes around, and the rest of the world is trying to be scary and disgusting, Im thinking of Christmas trees and gifts and shopping!!! We rented a bunch of movies to watch tongiht and guess what kind they are?? yep... CHRISTMAS!!! But something occured to me today. I never realized how much I like the holiday because of certain traditions until now. You see, my family has this really awesome thing we do. The women in our family takes a whole weekend and gets together and goes out shopping. its more than shopping, really. Its so much fun, we all get together and just have a blast from Thursday until Sunday morning. We dress alike, act goofy oh man, i just cant even tell you how much fun it is and how much it means to me. Or should I say how much it MEANT to me. You see, last year, it was ruined. I wont go into the big long story, but it was pretty bad. Thats really not what this post is about. But, my mom and aunts and everyone is still going this yea, but I have taken myself out of it. Im not going. Its a real bummer!!! But, Im getting excited for Christmas and all, but Im also kinda depressed. i wanna go on the shopping trip, just not how things were left. i want it to be the way it used to be. But I never realized, until now, how much my excitedness of Christmas was wrapped around the shopping. I even , for a few minutes, thought about jus not even putting a tree up this year. (lol, yeah right like id do that, my tree is up before Thanksgiving!!) I guess maybe it all happened so that i could once again remember the true meaning of Christmas. Ive never lost that, but maybe i lost a litle site of it, and put more things in front of it. Jesus is the reason for Christmas. not shopping trips. A little side note, since i dont get to do my "powershopping" this year, i do get a lil extra time with my hubby and him and I are going on our own little shopping trip for the first time. That will be fun :) now just praying for some money to take with us there!! Ok, so my thoughts didnt get put in here exactly the way i wanted them to. mainly because i have a 9 year old standing over me waiting for his turn on the computer. But hopefully the point was made enough. I actually can write., Im just not sure it shows thru anymore lol. So anyways... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/736719/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 15:01:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/736719/ My daughter, although she says she wants to be a nurse, is always coming up with the best ideas for teaching! I love it. But I just wanted to share this one. My kids have been struggling with their times tables. Probly because Im so bad at it. I dont even know them :( Anyways... She printed out a multiplication chart, one for each of the kids. The learn to count by a certain number. (2, 4, 6, 8, etc...) when they have learned that and can say it to me, then they can color in that line. When they have the whole thing colored in, they have their times tables! I love it! So we just started it yesterday. Theyve got the easy ones down, 2, 5, and 10. But now they gotta work on the other ones. And, their all excited to do it! How cool is that!! I love it!! Good job baby girl!! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/736354/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 08:18:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/736354/ <center><a href="http://www.eph2810.com/?page_id=459" ><img border="0" src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y140/eph2810/TTButton.jpg" /></a></center><br />          1. I am thankful for my precious family  2. I am thankful for God allowing me, and helping me to homeschool my precious little ones  3. I am thankful for Gods awesome grace!!  4. I am thankful for JESUS!!!!  5. My house, I spend a lot of time complaining that I want to move, but I do praise God for giving us this house. We lived in a small apartment before this!!   6. I am thankful for the lunch that God provided for us today, even though I coudlnt find anything in the    cupboards, I found a forgotten can of ravioli in the back!!   7. I am thankful for my wonderful friends!!   8. I am thankful for all my parents, including my AWESOME in laws!!   9. I am thankful for God always taking care of me, though I dont deserve it 10. I am thankful forevery single breath!   http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/734360/ Thu, 8 Oct 2009 11:13:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/734360/ Today we read out of our "Mystery of History" book about St. Valentine. Boy did I learn some things! Now, I already knew that he was a martyr. Didnt know much more about him than that. But the actual holiday is actually a "christian remake" of a pagan holiday. The Romans celebrated on February 15th to their pagan gods and goddesses of love. But St. Valentine was martyred on February 14th, so the pope decided to make February 14th a christian version of the Roman holiday. to "Christian-ize" it and make it in honor of St. Valentine. Hmmmm... So Valentines Day is no different than Halloween. Its a pagan holiday that was celebrated and has been since "christian-ized" But I wonder. the ones who made it up, how sad they would be today. Cupid actually was a god (i really had no idea!!). The God of love. The son of Venus, who was the goddess of love. The Romans would pick cards to see what man was paired with what woman. then, they would give each other treats. They actually believed that Cupid shot them with arrows and then would fall in love. The christians at the time decided this was wrong and came up with St. Valentines Day to honor Valentine instead of these false Roman Gods, since he was killed for his belief in God the day before their holiday. Who wouldve thought that that's where St. Valentines day come from? Interesting. But I also have to say... Ive been blasted by many Christian brothers and sisters for celebrating Christmas. Yes, I love Christmas and celebrating the birth of my Savior!! But for Christmas, at least theres a Godly purpose. It seems that Valentines day is no different than having a fall harvest instead of celebrating Halloween. But how many people actually know that and will yell at others if they let their kids go trick or treating, but will gladly allow their children to pass out little pieces of paper in February that says "I love you" . (Dont get me wrong, i cant stand Halloween. never have liked it. even when i was lost) I just found this very interesting... Am I the only one who didnt know this? http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/732426/ Thu, 1 Oct 2009 15:50:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/732426/ Well, I all I can say is I must be coming down with something. I feel awful!! Im exhuasted. My bach hurts something terrible. I cant think straight. i feel like everythings a blur. i cant even talk without messing it up, it seems. I think its bed time! but its been like pretty much all day. and its not been the best day anyways :( But, I dont want to be complaining. A breakthru!!! I was talking to a lady tonight that didnt know me when my brother died, and she was asking me about how he died and such, and i talked about that night, for a litle while, and didnt cry!! thats the first time! i miss him terribly. but i have to figure out how to allow my life to go on, as hard as it may be. school. Didnt go too bad today. a few attitudes. kinda surprising considering the ones that it came from, but all has ended pretty well as far as that goes. Tomorrow is my precious sammy's 8th birthday!! i swear, the boy has been 8 for about 3 years now lol. 8 years ago tonight, him and i almost died from his birth. a VEry SCARY  night! but praise God, look what it got us :) I would love to get a new backgroun for my blog. I dont really like any of the other ones on here. I wish I knew how to get a new template for my blog!! Well, im exhausted. Im going to bed. good night world :) http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/732124/ Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:09:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/732124/ If I ever have felt like this (Calgon, take me away), today is the day! What an awful day!! I really want to live by "This is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it"!!! But, oh my gosh!!!! Ok, so first, I dont feel good. Ive done soemthing to my back and it not only is shooting pains across my back, but also down my leg. Also, at the base of my neck going about half way up the back of my head, it hurts. i dont know why, it just relly hurts. its kinda a sore feeling. not like a headache, but... i dont know, cant realy describe it. Plus, Im tired. Couldnt sleep well last night because of my back. (and the fact that i had another dream that i saw my brother. this time, i just cried and hugged him and told him how much i loved him. he told me he knew. that was worth not getting sleep!!) So anyways, theres me. Then, theres the kids. 10, 9, and 7 years olds who have literally acted like babies all day. The day started off with just my daughter. 10 years old. Beautiful young thing. Somewhere in growing up, shes lost all her happiness and filled it with bitterness. I dont know what happened. But, shes always upset that I need to work with the twins more, because she understands on her own and can just "go with it" for her school work, but her younger brothers need me more. But, this am, she needed me, and the tripletts did just fine on their own. so I got a good hour to work with JUST HER. But, the whole time, she WHINED and didnt even try. ARGH!!! I cant handle whining!!!!! Add to the fact that she was needing help with math, my least favorite subject. the hardest for me to understand. fractions, at that, which i really dont get. so here i am trying to help her, struggling to do so, and getting nothing but whining from her. UGH!!! So she finally gets it and moves on. So, I move on and go to help the tripletts. These boys have done so wonderful so far! They've finished almost all of their work on their own while im working with their sister! Wonderful!! But now, the little monster head start to show. The whining starts from them! "I dont get it!" "This is too hard!" "Why do I have to do this?" "Can we be done?" And guess what subject?? Yep, MATH!!! Come on!! So, Im already frustrated. I already dont feel good. I feel like Ive been fighting a war for about 50 years all in one day. So thats it. I give up. Pack up your stuff kiddos, were going home (We dont do school at home, we do it at my moms house). Whatever school work isnt done, bring it home, its homework. So, we get home, I decide to be nice (and i need a break, too!!) and say, ok, were starting school at a certain time, do your chores, the rest of the time is free time. The church office had called and left me a message so I call them back. The WHOLE TIME im on the phone, the kids are fighting and screaming! yeah, their supposed to be doing chores!!! So, I have to ask the secetary to hold on, while i remind them of their rudeness. One, ends up sitting in the time out chair. Then they go back to doing chores. The time out chair just so happens to be opposite the basement door. My son, whose in time out, is mad that hes there, kicks the basement door, which happens to have his brother coming thru (he didnt see him, at least ill give him that) and ends up slamming to door with his brothers head in between. Yes, folks, my house is a picture for Nanny 911 today. Where did i go so wrong? So, now Im exhausted. honestly, Im ready for bed! Shouldnt it be 10 already?!!? no, its not even 3:00 in the afternoon yet. And what do I get to look forward to tonight? Why, of course, a baseball game! Yep, its 55 degrees, possiblity of rain, and tonight is out last official night of fall baseball. I tell my kids to always look at the verse that comes up on Switched on Schoolhouse before starting anything. Guess what the verse is. "The Lord is my strength". Yes. He is. I need it desperately!! Come quickly Lord!! If your reading this, Id love to hear (read lol) encouraging comments. or just a  hug :) http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/731606/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 13:20:00 -0500 http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/want2live4God/731606/