Sagerat Scribbles

• Mar. 14, 2006 - Warranty Ends Soon

There comes a time in your life when you wonder if your warranty is about to run out. You move slower, you hear strange noises emminating from your joints and it takes real effort to stand up from a squat postion.

The only comfort I gain from it all is that the matching mate beside me is losing the hair off the top of his head and finding it in his ears. He too has a harder time getting up from a squat position. I begin to wonder if he will start looking for a newer model in order to make him look good. I'm not sure that even Shania Twain could make ear hair look good, she would more likely make the ear hair stand out more.

Then I remember that my warranty ran out several months after my wedding and my counterpart didn't leave me then. I was young and 21 in a time long ago and far, far away. I was seven months pregnant, when one morning I woke up and felt as if someone had taken a two by four to my jaw. As the day progressed my jaw swelled and Dear Man took me to the Dr. They tested me for mumps and sent me home so that I would not infect anyone who may not have been vaccinated against it.

As the night wore on the side of my face swelled so that I began to wonder at what point it might just burst open. Swelled belly and swelled face, I was not attractive. It was determined that more than likely one of my salivary ducts was blocked and after enough pressure built up behind it, it would clear itself. Oh goody.

While waiting for this to happen I somehow scratched my eye. It was very painful and I couldn't tolerate any light. Even with my bad eye closed, the light shining into my good eye made me tear up and have an instant headache. Again Dear Man took me to the Dr. The Dr. put ointment in my eye and covered it with a patch. He told me it would hurt and be uncomforable for awhile. I don't like it when they say that.

Again, later that night I lay there wondering, "He said it would hurt and be uncomfortable, but just how do you define hurt and uncomfortable?" Finally I coudln't take it anymore and Dear Man took me to the ER. They took a look at my eye and it turns out I had an allergic reaction to the ointment they had put in my eye.

Swelled belly, swelled face, swelled eye. I'm sure I looked like the elephant man's bride. I don't know, I couldn't look at myself as I couldn't open my eyes. It was then that I told Dear Man, "I think my warranty has run out, it may be to late to return me for a newer model." Dear Man just kissed me and said, "I'm attached to this one."

• Mar. 14, 2006 - Not only are you a keeper...

Posted by takingthechallenge

...but, sure sounds like he is too! ;)

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• Mar. 14, 2006 - Awww....

Posted by redmom

What a sweet story!

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• Mar. 14, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Kristal

oh my I laughted through the whole post! You are truely blessed in your writing! I couldn't imagine how you felt!! And I love the part about Shina and not making ear hair look good!!!

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• Mar. 15, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Leigh2

Oh my goodness...please forgive me if I was chuckling reading this! Poor thing! It's bad enough to have all of that happen, but when you are pregnant...ick! I understand, though...I've been thinking that my warranty must be running out, too. :o)

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• Mar. 15, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by KarenW

Awww! I think my waranty has run out too. I can still sit on the floor and play with the kids, but getting up is another story!

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• Mar. 15, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by mamaduso

Oh, that is so sweet and funny. I remember when I was pregnant with my first and we went to a restaurant and I ate greasy fish and chips, very greasy. Well, my pregnant body revolted against this horrible food I tried to feed it. So with out getting too graphic I was in the bathroom using the toilet and the sink at the same time. My poor husband cleaned up after me. I will never forget that. If he can go through that he can survive watching childbirth, and did so successfully three times. He can also survive anything else I dish out on him. Poor guy! You know you gotta winner when they can do that!
Susan

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• Mar. 15, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Jn1512

Sorry to hear that you're dealing with all that swelling!
Pray in there! :)) Beauty is on the inside!

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• Mar. 15, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by eyecorn

What a sweet DH you have...a terrific answer to your statement!! Please don't get offended...but I did giggle through a lot of this post...you are a talented writer!
Michelle

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• Mar. 16, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by chickadee

that's a great post! sounds like he saw the worst early on. the rest can't be that bad. thanks for making me smile.

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• Mar. 16, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by OreoSouza

I don't know how I missed this post. I thought my RSS picked up on everything, so I must have slipped over it. i'm glad you posted the link because I really enjoyed it...and yes, I laughed. I like how you look at life.

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The politically incorrect ramblings of a sage rat den mother. As well as thoughts on adoption, special needs children, and My Lord and Savior.

About my Avatar: Tia Turtle is a character in a new book by Gena Suarez, "And Then Mama Said...It Takes Time to Learn to Read." Kevin Collier is the illustrator and he made me my special avatar, because yes, Tia Turtle is named after Me! (Okay, so I'm bragging. Leave me a correctional comment in love.)