Let's get one thing perfectly clear, romance is not candy, flowers and diamond rings.  Interestingly enough Webster's dictionary defines romantic as, "pertaining to, inclining toward,or suggesting, romance; fictious; extravagant, fantastic."  Fantastic does not mean, "Hey, that's great!"  It means, far-fetched, out of this world. 

Several women have come to me and complained that their husbands are not romantic.  I ask them what they mean and this is pretty much what I hear;

"He never gives me anything."  This usually means candy, flowers or jewelry.  Just when is he supposed to do all this?  He worked all day to bring home the bacon and it's not enough?  Now he's expected to stop off at some crowded store and decide which one will win him the most points.  Most men don't mind if you buy the candy, flowers or jewelry with the money they earned.

" He doesn't like to sit on the couch and just cuddle."   He's probably afraid he's going to fall asleep and he knows that doesn't create household happiness!  Every time me and my husband just cuddle he falls asleep.  If he only wants to cuddle he's TIRED!  Besides, men just aren't geared to just cuddling.  Who wants a guy who doesn't find you exciting to touch and hold?

"He doesn't read me poetry or say romantic things."   Romantic poetry is just a fancy pick up line.  If you can find a poem about a wife it may contain a line or two about her beauty, but the rest will be about her character. 

So that's what it's all about, me, me, me.  If this is you, you read way too many romance novels or watch to many movies.  If after one of these books or movies  you begin to feel that your husband isn't up to par, then you had better take that as a sign satan has you hooked by the nose.  Go ahead, go look up what romance means.  It isn't realistic.  It's like JenIg not liking musicals because people don't really go around singing and dancing in the butcher shop, or on the streets of New York with bystanders joining in. 

I still believe in romance, it does happen, but it doesn't happen all the time.  Furthermore, it usally doesn't happen within the intended's visual or hearing range. 

Romance is when your husband is at work and the other guys are talking bad about their wives/girlfriends, but he does not join in, even if he can relate.  When he comes home he isn't going to tell you, "Hey Hon!  At work today the guys were wife bashing, but heh, heh, I didn't join 'em."  You will never know about it unless one of the guys tells you, and doesn't that make it sweeter yet?  To have another man recognize that your beloved kept mum? 

Romance is when your husband hurries home because he can't wait to be with you.  That doesn't necassarily mean sitting right there with you on the couch, but to a place you have created, warm, safe and friendly, with you chatting at him from another room.  All of that is you, because if he didn't have you he'd be sitting in the dark, wondering how many ways to cook a hot dog. 

Romance is coming home to you day, after day, after day, after day. 

Romance is him looking at you while you are asleep. 

Romance is when he worries about how he will take care of you. 

Romance isn't a thing being given, it is not tangible.  You can't eat it, or wear it.  You can't set it on your buffet to show all the world for five days that you are loved.  Romance is devotion, respect, and it's love.  In today's world, that is fantastic.