Sagerat Scribbles

• Jan. 18, 2008 - Homeschoolers Can't Make Their Own Choices?

Posted in HomesCool Mom

Over the past month or so well-meaning (but ignorant) people  have questioned if my children can make their own choices. This question is often put to homescoolers but a fairly recent encounter really riled me.

Why do people assume that a child who spends their days with his/her parents are incapable of making their own decisions? These same people will then say that if they went to public school they could make up their own mind about things. Really? Funny, I see a bunch of children who follow, not children who lead or march to the beat of a different drummer.  Public school children choose to listen to their teachers and to their fellow classmates while ignoring their parents and pastors.  They aren't decisions that are weighed in their minds and debated openly with facts and figures. They are convinced that their parents and pastors are wrong and buffaloed while the student's teachers and friends are somehow "enlightend" individuals. Except they aren't anymore individual than anyone else in the school.

When an adult says, "Teens will be teens," they believe there is nothing you can do to prevent teens from running amuck.  Interesting. What did teens do before the industrial revolution? Thousands of years of teen-agers have missed out on being wild. Why can't a teen choose to obey their parents? Why can't they want to do the right thing? If they can choose and want to act foolishly then there has to be something to choose from.

It's also ridculous to think that my children are little brainwashed automotons. Truth time here - my children are naughty. They have lied, cheated, stolen, and have had flagrant disrespect for authority. On the whole though, they want to do what is right. They also prefer different things than I prefer. My children are not clones of me and my husband. I don't even want my children to be like me! I want them to be better.

My children can think, they ask questions when we we discuss things. They know that what I tell them and ask of them is in their best interest.  Sometimes they disagree and that's okay. They are still young; time and experience may change their minds.  However they know that while they may disagree, for now they will live and do what I think is best for them. Just as any mature adult does when he works for someone he disagrees with. You can either stupidly choose to do things your way and lose your job or you can realize that you aren't the one in charge and you might even discuss it with your boss.

That's the key right there. My children are still immature in many areas, but they are more mature than other children their age. They are more mature than many adults we know. (We've discussed those immature adults and the consequences of their actions.) It's that maturity that causes a person to stop and compliment my children for their good behavior or the way they can carry on a conversation with an adult. People are favorably impressed with my children. You can't be impressed with someone who is tricked, you just feel pity.

So when a person says that homeschoolers can't make their own choices, what they are really saying is that homeschoolers act more maturaly than themselves. They are too immature to understand that someone can want to do something outside of themselves.

• Jan. 18, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by drewsfamilytx

EXCELLENT POST!!!

Not being able to make your own decisions and homeschooling... what an odd combination to lump together! I would think that it would equal the exact opposite. At least my children can discuss things with me instead of being forced to regurgitate answers that the teachers require (even if they are wrong or disagree)!

You are spot on about maturity as well. In that case, it really does take one to know one!

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• Jan. 19, 2008 - I think this can go hand in hand

Posted by short

with, "But how are they learning INDEPENDENCE??"
The closer I kept my children, the more secure they were to venture out on their own. The closer they stuck to me the less shy they were to make new friends.
This was a great article, thanks!

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• Jan. 19, 2008 - Hi Short,

Posted by sagerats

I think in a round about way I address independence in my post. The fact is those children AREN'T independent, they are following the masses in the schools. What those well-meaning people really mean is, "Can't your child break away from your thinking and follow someone else's thinking?" As if we were keeping them hostage to our thoughts and ideas. Preposterous attitudes to be sure, but that is what they really mean by that question.

Abiding in the Vine!

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• Jan. 24, 2008 - Hi!

Posted by danib

Your blog caught my eye because of the name -- only those of us living in the high desert get excited about the mention of sagebrush! I'm from the Eastern Washington basin, so I assume you're from Eastern Oregon. So, Hi, neighbor!

I also just learned you're on the editing board of HSB/TOS. I really need to link to the Porch so I can visit more often. Off to do that ... be back to visit later!

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• Jan. 24, 2008 - Well~

Posted by JacqueDixonSoulRestES

Non-homeschoolers cannot understand what a child does at home. That they actually learn to be adults and mature. The only children they know who stay home with their parents - or whomever - are little children, toddlers. Well, they aren't very mature, are they? People may understand that children stay home to watch Sesame Street and learn to count or colors or little stuff, but I don't think they can comprehend learning outside of a ps.

Sad that their view is so limited, isn't it?

I feel the same way, and I love it when our children do behave maturely (as with all children, ours aren't perfect either ((GASP))!). People have blessed us with compliments and are quite impressed with our children being young adults who can (and WANT TO) carry on a mature conversation and not "teens" focused on unimportant "stuff".

This was great!
hugs and blessings!
~J

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• Jan. 24, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Jocelyndixon

Wonderful! Bravo! Auntie Tia has done it yet again. Truly you are a *sage* rat (I don't think that is a nice thing to say about yourself though - a rat and all). ;D

I gave you an award!
Jocelyn

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• Jan. 29, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by SandBetweenMyToes

Amen.

Letitia

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• Jan. 29, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by KarenW

Most non-homeschoolers just don't get it.

http://www.woodward-family.com/karenwoodward/blog.html

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• Jan. 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Vicki

Great post!!! I really enjoy both your blog, and your articles on HWTB!

Keep up the good work!!!

Blessings,
Vicki
www.prairierosesamongthorns.com/vblog

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• Jan. 31, 2008 - Good Point

Posted by hugabunchmom

I love that my children are home with us maturing every day. They grow in confidence and in their relationship to God, they know very well who they are and how to make their own decisions. It is interesting how others see our little homeschool world though, isn't it?

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• Feb. 1, 2008 - Thanks!

Posted by danib

Thanks for the tip -- I really like Redmom's blog too. Amazing how out west here, 200+ miles is a near-neighbor! You'd never hear New Yorkers saying that about people in Maine!

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• Feb. 3, 2008 - great post!

Posted by Anonymous

Great posty!

Kysha
http://humblemama.blogspot.cm

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• Feb. 18, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Kristal

I have truely missed reading your blog!!! You are so right on this. Something Jake and I were just discussing the other day. I am so glad that you open up and talk about this stuff on your blog!

I was wondering if you had a milk goat? confussed check out my blog

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The politically incorrect ramblings of a sage rat den mother. As well as thoughts on adoption, special needs children, and My Lord and Savior.

About the turtle: Tia Turtle is a character in a new book by Gena Suarez, "And Then Mama Said...It Takes Time to Learn to Read." Kevin Collier is the illustrator and he made me my special avatar, because yes, Tia Turtle is named after Me! (Okay, so I'm bragging. Leave me a correctional comment in love.)