Silence is actually the lack of sound, like when the power goes out and you realize that the computer is no longer humming, the air conditioner isn't thrumming, and your son has stopped strumming his ukelele because it's dark. At that moment all my nerves give a big sigh of relief and put in their bid that we move somewhere off the grid.
I like silence for the most part. I don't keep my t.v. or radio on all day just for company. It's a rare day indeed when I buy a battery operated toy. I've even been known to hit the roof when one of my children has only just begun a repetitive noise.
Still there is a time when I don't like silence. When it indicates disapproval. My family and a few of my friends will be engaged in heated conversation when all of a sudden they go silent. The other person may continue to babble, expounding on their great philosphies. After a bit they notice that they are carrying on a monologue and attempt to engage the silent one to jump back into the conversation. At this point I know two things:
- The monologuer in all likelyhood believes that the reason the other person has ceased talking is because he/she has "shut them up". The person can't aruge with Mono because Mono has proven his point.
- My friend or relative is only silent because they disapprove and are saving themselves from a long, drawn out, and potential scene. You can't just change some people's minds with mere words and sometimes silence can be louder than words.
I've been on the receiving end of the silent treatment (and sometimes I have been egotistical enough to think it's because I've "shut them up"). I've also given the silent treatment. Remember, we are talking about disapproval silence here, not "I'm mad at you and I'm pouting" silence. (Although I admit I've dont that too!)
Silence doesn't always mean peace, although one person is striving to keep the peace. It doesn't always mean agreement and it doesn't mean that you have conceded the point.
This is something I am always trying to teach my children. You don't have to have the last word! It's okay to walk away. It doesn't mean the other person has won, even if they "think" they have.
I also try to teach them that when there is something to disapprove of it is far better to be silent then to babble inanely about nothing in an effort to pretend you don't care or act as if you have no opinion. While you may not have shown express approval, neither have you shown disapproval and it actually creates a sense of "all is well". All is not well and we shouldn't ever pretend it is for that is a lie. Ecclesiastes 3:7 tells us that there is a time to keep silence and a time to speak. Sometimes we just need to let our silence speak for us.
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Aug. 12, 2008
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Aug. 12, 2008
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Aug. 13, 2008
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Yes, I did make the conference, and I'm going to try to post my thoughts and experiences there this week. It was good -- I was impressed. There's always glitches the first time a new change is implemented, but I thought the good outweighed the bad.
How are things down in your neck of the woods? Good weather? Any more rolling dumpsters? The winds here have been crazy, but they are every summer.
Good to hear from you!