Sep. 5, 2008
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The Wind of Change is Blowing
I'm long overdue for a new post on here. Time seems to slip through my fingers like a greased pig.
My mom loves the wind because it brings a change of weather. She gets excited at the prospect of what is to come. Will it be rain or snow? Will the wind blow the clouds away and leave a glorious day? I'm not sure if this wind is like a Santa Ana or just a breeze but it's blowing.
Here shortly my beautiful Eyebright will be away until Christmas. She is going to go help my aunt with her foster babies. This is a good thing, but even one night with just one of my children gone, leaves the house feeling empty and lonesome.
A few family members aren't happy with this arrangement. Grammy (my mom) being one of them. She will miss Eyebright very much and pronounces her too young to go off and leave her family. Grammy knows this isn't actually true, I was this age when I went off to join the Navy!
Dear Man and I were discussing how much more mature Eyebright is then we were at this age. At the same time she does have traits that, to some, show a complete lack of maturity in an area or two. For instance, she is very unsure of herself, unsure if she should do this or that. Quite frankly, I think that in and of itself shows maturity. She's not afriad to admit it! When I was her age I put on a face of bravado. I felt exactly as Eyebright feels, but under no circumstances could I let that show. After all, I was 18 and I was supposed to know what I was doing. All my friends "seemed" so sure of themsevles and it's what everyone expected of me.
Not only is Eyebright not afraid to admit to her fears and lack of indecision, she knows that she is totally safe to be who she really is with us. It doesn't cross her mind to be someone else in front of strangers either. It would be deceptive and why should she not be who she is? She hasn't learned what all public school children learn, parents are stupid and don't have your best interest at heart, and if you share your weaknesses others will attack them. She simply trusts and obeys. Not Dear Man and I, but God.
This time away will be good for her. She is going to people that I love and cherish most deeply. Who for the most part share the same values and faith. Who have something to teach her that I never could because I still have public school mentality to overcome. While my Aunt and Uncle went to public school, they were raised in families that were in the world but not of the world. Something they embraced, not rejected. They are patient, loving, kind, and gracious in all areas of their lives. These will be good things for Eyebright to learn, to make her a better mother, wife, and friend.
Still, sitting in my mom's living room last night, I remembered sitting in her living room 18 years ago holding a tiny, red headed baby. Pleased and proud, showing her off to the newly named Grammy. It seems so long ago, but there just hasn't been enough time. I have only myself to blame for not taking more opportunities with the time I had. The Lord's timing is perfect and according to His laws of nature, this was enough time. If I wasted it then I can't complain.
For now, we will be a family of five and not six. I'm curious how this will change the dynamics of things. Will Bluejane and Kekoa become closer? Will there be fewer arguements and less mess? Good gravy, who's going to do the dishes now? Things won't be the same yet with one gone, things will be different and short handed. While I'll miss Eyebright, I'm excited too, to see what changes the Lord will bring about. |
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Sep. 5, 2008
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Sep. 6, 2008
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Good thoughts
Sep. 8, 2008
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Sep. 8, 2008
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