Apr. 10, 2009
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A Humorous Nightmare to Share
So while I was sleeping last night, I had this dream that Eyebright was getting married. It's like I just popped in on the middle of a book or something because the wedding was actually that day. For some reason we had to walk to the church, and we're about 10 minutes away when it hits me that I have not had any kind of talk with my daughter about the birds and the bees. So, I'm trotting along beside her, she in her white wedding gown trailing along behind, and I'm quickly going over the basics. In my head I'm thinking, "Why on earth didn't I think to tell her any of this sooner? 10 minutes isn't enough time, on a public sidewalk, with the whole wedding party marching along behind us. Very absurd.
The wedding happens, and Eyebright and her spouse have to live with us. I'm thinking to myself, "Why would I let her marry a dirt ball who can't even afford to take care of her?" Then the guy asks us to take him to his house so he can pick up some things. He can't even drive!
We get to the house and the first thing I see is a wall full of electronic parts some of which read, "bugging equipment." That's when I, once again, am startled to realize that I know nothing about this guy I have allowed my daughter to marry. I turn to look at the rest of the house and it is covered with knick-knacks. I mean every inch, of every surface. I turned to Dear Man and said, "Well, at least he will be used to knick-knacks." I meant that Eyebright really likes knick-knacks, so her husband probably wasn't going to have a problem with them. However, hiding amongst the crystal glass flowers, wax hands, and open-backed, porcelain swans, was the boy's mother. She thought I had insulted her for being a curio collector.
I looked around and found where her shrill voice had piecred from, and found a heavily made-up woman with a hat that looked as if someone had rolled up bread dough, wound it around her head, and then baked the dough basket and shellaced it.
Even though I had greatly insulted the mother-in-law, we were invited to stay for dinner. Turns out my daughter's husband was one of 12 children, he being the youngest. The rest still lived at home, each with their respective significant others, and various children. Attached to the house was the family business, a bar of rather ill repute. We were offered drinks but we declined. Everyone had this tiny glass in front of them and each of the son-in-law's family members took a sip of their beverage, and then poured the rest on their placemats. It was a tradition they had every night at dinner.
By now I'm bawling because I hadn't even bothered to look into this boy's background and I'm thinking that my daughter is stuck with this disturbing family. Why on earth hadn't I bothered to find out more about him? On top of that, why did she even want to marry him in the first place?
I know some people will think that you can't help who you fall in love with. I beg to differ, but that's another post. I flat refuse to let my daughter have a mother-in-law who wears bread basket hats and slops beverages as a matter of course. There is no happiness in a marriage tied to a woman like that, let alone the bum who can't drive or maintain a family wage earning job.
It was an absolute nightmare, yet incredibly hilarious at the same time. I woke with my heart in my throat, but as my senses came back to me I started to giggle. It was such a ridiculous scenario all the way through, but my fright and concern had been so real. I'm glad it was only a dream! |
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Apr. 13, 2009
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Oh Tia
Apr. 14, 2009
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Apr. 27, 2009
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Not a dream here
May. 10, 2009
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Jun. 6, 2009
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Jun. 10, 2009
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