Several posts ago I talked a little about forgiveness. I want to revisit this topic for a moment. Two bloggers have done a really good job of describing forgiveness.
Ramblinmind1 has had to come face to face with forgiveness for someone she loved and has sinned against her and her daughter. Their whole world came tumbling down. This may be a tough blog to read for many of you, but what she has to say about forgiveness is truly inspired by God.
Kellyque777 has a wonderful post on the effects of unforgiveness and the struggle that she still has.
Many people misunderstand forgiveness. They feel that it means that the offense is completely forgotten and things go back to as they were before. This simply isn't true.
Forgiveness does not mean
that trust is back in place
and it does not negate
the need for discipline.
Jesus will forgive us time and time again, (70x7 and beyond!) but if forgiveness was all it took then He would never have needed to die on the cross. We deserve to die for our sins, (the discipline) but Christ took that for us. He had to do it this way because He couldn't trust that we could do it on our own! Over and over again, people have proven that even after realizing their sin, they will sin once again. God could not trust us to remain clean of our own accord.
As parents, especially of an older child, we have been faced with our child doing something that has broken our trust in them. Forgivenss can at these times be the easy part. We love our children, and know well what it is like to do something that lacked wisdom. Still, we do not then say, "It's okay you can go ahead and go back to life as usual."
That broken trust brings about natural consquences of their poor action. They may be grounded from the car, computer, phone, spending time with friends, or checking to see that all is as it should be. Discipline is not just a tool to teach our children the consequences of their actions, but a period of time in which they have a chance to reinstate trust.
Over time if they have proven that they can be trusted once again by accepting the boundaries set for them and living within those boundaries with a happy heart then we drop the discipline.
We may still wait with hearts in our throats waiting to see if they can once again handle the priviledges, but as time goes by and they are still leaving themselves to your accountability and proving themselves through their appropriate behavior you will no longer think about the original sin.
Folly is yours if you forgive and believe that forgiveness alone also includes trust.
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Feb. 15, 2006
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This was very helpful
