Outside it is snowing here today. That is my reality. That is my circumstance. I cannot change that it is snowing today. I cannot change that I have to deal with the snow today. But I can choose how I respond to the snow today. Of course, at first I didn't respond very well. In fact, I allowed the anger and sadness to overtake me. I let it consume me. I let it smother me to the point of almost no return. But, God is good. Erik called me in the middle of my anger and I asked him to pray for me. I also asked my kids to pray for me and some friends on FB. I really believe they did! For after we hung up, I pulled out my Bible and started to read. I know God's Word pretty well and I know what verses I was disobeying, so I began there. I read through Philippians 4 because I really wasn't being content in all things. I wasn't meditating on anything good. And then I turned to James 1. I know that I am in a trial. God uses trials for our benefit. But we must not resist. The more I read, the more He spoke to my heart. His Word is alive and active! You can read a passage of scripture you have read a hundred times, but still, He shows you something new! He refreshes you with His Word. I truly want to be a doer of the Word and not a hearer only! So now that I have shared my story,  I need to seek His forgiveness. I also need to go outside and apologize to my kids for my behavior. I need to call Erik and apologize. For God has me right where He wants me to be, "for such a time as this". I must cling to His Truth! I must cling to that knowledge! I must walk by faith even when I cannot see. I must stop resisting and embrace all that He has for me. Growing is hard, but it really boils down to choosing. I must choose right now, how I will respond to the things I do not have control over! He is in control and He is good! He has my best interests in mind! He loves me and does not do me evil! I must choose to meditate on these things today!

God is always telling us to be thankful, to give thanks, and to praise Him with thanksgiving. When we focus on the things that we DO have and the things that we are thankful for, it truly begins to change our hearts. What good is it to long for and meditate about the things we have lost, the life we once had, or things we long to obtain? It only pulls us down and gives us heavy hearts. But when we are truly able to lay those things down at His feet and rejoice over the things we are blessed to have, our hearts are light and filled with joy. God wants us to be thankful everyday, not just for one day. One thing that I have found that helps me to focus on the things I am thankful for is to write them down on paper. It really helps to look at them. You can make different kinds of lists to show thankfulness. Recently I have done this very thing. I have even had my kids write a list. It makes our hearts swell with joy and love when we can SEE all that the Lord has blessed us with. God is good and He loves us so much! The Bible tells us that He doesn't withhold good things from those who love Him. It tells us that He is the giver of all good things! How true that really is. I want to encourage my readers today, to take out some paper and write out some lists. I also encourage you to have your kids write lists... no matter their age! You may even choose to read these lists out loud on Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving afterall was established as a day to give thanks to God... not a turkey day or and Indian day or a Pilgrim day. Too bad kids in schools will never learn the real meaning! Oh well... that is for another time.  I am going to give you a sort of combined list from the ones I have written recently and I also may add a few things that God lays upon my heart.

I am thankful for:

1. A God who loved me enough that He allowed His own Son to die for me
2. A husband who works hard, never complains, and can fix anything
3. My kids have a daddy that tucks them into bed EVERYNIGHT!!!!
4. 3 beautiful, amazing children! They truly are gifts from God
5. The freedom to homeschool my kids!!! I love being home with them everyday!
6. That my kids are saved and all love the Lord dearly, what a blessing it is to see them have their own relationship with Him
7. My sister and how God has brought us closer this past year
8. My 3 dearest friends. They have each shown me love in such profound ways... words cannot begin to express how much I love them... miles will never seperate us! I love you Michelle, Cheryl, and Cheryl!
9. The laughter that fills our home each day!!! Especially when Erik is home!! I LOVE it when he is home!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. The new church God has brought us to... I know He is up to good things for us there!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could go on and on, but that is all for now!!! Now go and start your own lists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"The Righteous cry out and the LORD hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit." Psalm 34:17-18

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart- these, O God, You will not despise." Psalm 51:17

"For thus says the High and Lofty One who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: 'I dwell in the high and holy place, with him who has a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.'" Isaiah 57:15

Contrite: to crush, be crushed, be broken

God has been showing me that it is through brokenness that I am made stronger in Him. Through pain and sorrow, He draws me closer to Himself. Life isn't about getting what you want, having all your prayers answered, and living on a bed of roses. If we look to the Scriptures, we can see over and over again pain and suffering. But, we also see redemption, purpose, and praises. God is able to walk us through our pain and our trials. In fact most of the time, He carries us through. All we need to do is let ourselves crumble into His hands. It is there that He dwells. Do you see that in Isaiah? So where can we remain in His presence? It is in the midst of our pits, our valleys, our trials. When we are crushed from the weight of circumstances, He is there. I needed to hear this truth and this message today! I need to see that my brokenness has a purpose! To glorify Him and to grow closer to Him. To gain more wisdom of who He is. That is hwo we bring a sacrifice of praise. That is how we can lift up our hands in worship to Him. When we see that He has fashioned our pain for a purpose. He loves us so much! We cannot even fathom how much! He does not allow trials in our lives because He enjoys our pain. He allows these things to grow us, to get closer to us, to deepen our faith, and to glorify His name forever. So that is what I am doing today! I am rejoicing in my brokenness and in my pain! He is faithful and He is good! He loves me and will not leave me to walk through this alone! I love Him with ALL my heart! Without Him I would just be crushed and crumbled with no hope. But I do have Him and will not be utterly cast down! There is hope! I will rejoice!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am just sitting here thinking about how good God is! I have so many things to be thankful for! The past few months, my vision has been a bit clouded by my selfishness. But I am here to testify that God is good! He has heard my cries and He has heard the cries of those who have been lifting me up in prayer (thank you guys!!!!). He has slowly been lifting me up out of the pit that I was in. I know that it won't be easy and that I may stumble a bit on the way out. I just pray I won't fall back down to the bottom! Keep praying for me though because I am not completely out yet! :) I have truly been trying to change from the inside out! I have tried not to speak anything negative or think it for almost 2 weeks now! At first it was hard, but it is getting easier! It really does make a difference! I have been trying to make my relationship with God, my marriage and my kids my central focus. Not the woe is me I live in NH song and dance I carried out for way too long!!!!!!! I have so much to be thankful for! I wanted to list a few that have really touched my heart lately:

1. To hear my 10 year old son this morning say this of his little sister, "I like helping Valerie, it is fun, I am glad she is my sister."!!!! Music to my ears!!!!!
2. There was ALOT of laughter in my house this past weekend! Alot of it was coming from my husband!!!!!!!!! Who seriously has not laughed in a long time (thanks to me and my sour attitude).... this is proof that the Love Dare is working!!!!!!!!!! :)
3. God sending me a prayer partner! It feels so good to sit and pray with a fellow sister!
4. Watching my oldest who will be 13 in less than 2 weeks, display wisdom and discernment. Evidence of being raised and trained at home from God's Word!

So those are only a few!!!! I am sure I could go on and on, but for now, that is what I wanted to share!
God's Word is so TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He truly is doing an amazing work in me!

  I see that I haven't been on this sight in quite some time. Life just seems to rush along. So many things are happening in my life right now. So many changes. Just trying to take them all in. But God is so good! He is faithful and will walk me through it all. I am also planning some changes for our schooling for next year. I am excited and nervous all at the same time! I will be tossing the Abeka books and embracing Learning Adventures! It will be great to learn everything together instead of reading 3 different History and Science books! I like the Abeka stuff, but I am feeling a bit bogged down by all of it with 3 kids. We will get to discover all of these neat things together and look at what was going on in the Bible as we look at history. And we will be reading alot, which my kids LOVE to do! We recently joined a large library and they were like kids in a candy store! So excited about all the books they had to choose from! I am amazed at how much and how well they all read! God is so good! So I think next year will be an exciting adventure for our family!

  Today has some excitement! My oldest, Ryan, got hit in the head by a tree branch! Took him to the ER. Thankfully they did not have to staple or stitch it. Instead they glued it! He was very relieved!

 I am also experiencing computer issues so I can oly go online at night with my hubby's work laptop. What a pain!

 Well, that is all for today!