In my ladies bible study at our church, I recently taught on the topic of God's Will "borrowing" much of John MacArthur's sermon titled Found: God's Will.  One of the areas that really convicted me was from Ephesians 5:17-18(NIV):  "Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.  Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery.  Instead, be filled with the Spirit."  Why did Paul compare being drunk to being filled with the Spirit?  Because the issue is control.  The word filled in the Greek has the idea of filling in a controlling sense, like wind filling the sails of a ship moving it along.  So it's telling us to allow ourselves to be controlled and totally dominated by the Spirit.  Paul compares this to being drunk because when a person is drunk they are no longer under control themselves, but under the control of alcohol.  So I've been really praying and asking God to help me to be dominated by His Word(which is from His Spirit) and to help me to pay attention to what the Spirit leads. 

All that to tell this story.  WARNING - THE FOLLOWING STORY DOES NOT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A VERY GOOD MOTHER!!!  Some dear seminary friends invited us to tag along on their vacation to Legoland for a couple days.  Normally, this would be an easy one to say no to strictly because of the finances involved, but this was a special homeschool day and the passes were going to only be $17.  They had planned to stay in a hotel nearby overnight.  It sounded so much fun that I couldn't wait to go.  I applied for our homeschool coupon, but no matter how many times I did it, it never sent me the e-mail with the coupon on it(a necessity to get the significant discount).  So I determined, that if we were to go, the coupon would show up in my Inbox.  Well it didn't. 

BW happened to notice, though, when he got his haircut at Supercuts that they had some Legoland coupons where if you buy an adult ticket, your child got in free.  When he did the math, it would only be $20 more than if we got the homeschool coupon.  So he said to go ahead and book the hotel. 

I went online to expedia, travelocity, etc and found that most places want to charge you two rooms when you have a family as big as ours.  But I persevered and "fudged" the number of kids I had to make the reservation.  Two days before we were to go, I got an e-mail that they hadn't heard back from the hotel and our reservation had not gone through.  So I went directly onto the hotel's website, chose to do the "right" thing and order two adjoining rooms(little more expensive, of course). 

Now, I must also point out that Girl7 and I had the stomach flu on Monday (another post would have to be made for the long story about how we got the flu) and BW got it on Wednesday, but I was STILL planning to go!  Thursday night, the night before we were going to leave, BW thought it would be fun to take the kids to Coldstone since Girl7 had received a gift card.  After dinner, we got everyone's shoes on and went out to the van.  As we drove down the driveway, we could hear "bump-bump".  We pulled over to discover that my rear passenger tire was completely flat.  It was 7:00 at night.

Ever persevering(and not taking God's hints), I called Costco and Wal-Mart knowing that they might be open late.  BW explained that even if they were open it would still take time to put the spare on and we would not be able to get it there by closing. 

I went to bed, thinking that BW could get up early, get the van into the tire shop by 7:30, we could be on the road by 9:00 at the latest and be at Legoland by lunchtime.  Around 3am, I woke up to the sound of my 18mo throwing up in his crib.  As we cleaned him off, I thought, well, he'll bounce back and be able to sleep it off in the car. 

We got up, Boy18mo ate a full breakfast and I started packing while BW bought a new tire.  He came back and we loaded up the car.  As we strapped them in their carseats, Boy6 said "Mom, my stomach doesn't feel so good."  He proceeded to throw up too! 

BW & I looked at each other.  We both had the gleam in our eyes like Chevy Chase in the Vacation movies - "We were on a quest.  A quest for fun."  Nothing was going to stop us.  We packed some extra towels, gave Boy6 some anti-nausea meds and set off for a day of fun?!?!?!

Then, just as we were about an hour into the trip, Boy18mo started crying and proceeded to ...well, I won't gross you out with details, but it was not a pretty scene.  Of course, we were not in a desireable neighborhood, but the car had to stop.  It was at this point that we both finally resigned ourselves that we just were not meant to go on this trip.  We called the hotel and ended up with a partial refund.  We called our friends and told them we were not coming.  Then the tears began in the backseat from the healthy girls who could not immediately understand why their brothers would not enjoy a day of roller coasters on an upset stomach.  I felt like crying myself, but mostly because I was reflecting on the fact that I had not allowed the Spirit to lead me throughout the entire planning process.  I was trying to do what I wanted and ignoring everything else along the way. 

The next day, what should arrive in the mail, but 3 FREE tickets to 6 Flags.  What I had forgotten in my quest for fun was that the kids had earned Free tickets (and 1 teacher ticket) for a school reading program earlier this year.  So it wasn't that God was denying my children of fun - He had a better, more economical plan in mind(one that didn't require a hotel room, or the cost of tickets, etc). 

One of these days I will get it through my thick head that God's plan is so much better than my own plans.  "Woe to the obstinate children, declares the Lord, to those who carry out plans that are not mine." Is 30:1.  "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."(Ps 37:4) "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him." Ps 37:5 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him."Ps 37:7

Oh, that I would entrust myself to the Lord in EVERYTHING, to His control and guidance, beleiveing that He can care for me and my family much better than I can.

-J