It didn't happen by accident. But happen it did, and the transformation has been profound.  I'm not saying that I purposed for it to happen by any stretch of the imagination.  I assure you that it was truly far from my personal aspirations or even desires for that matter. And while a psychologist may call it assimilation, the  Southerner in me would attribute it to the old adage, "If you lie with the dogs, you're gonna get fleas". Mr. Visionary would have me to understand that a more accurate explanation is found in Scripture as, "He who walks with the wise grows wise".

I don't even like the stuff. Sure, it smells good, and I don't mind a whiff of it every now and then, but I've never been terribly interested in putting it near my lips. Yet, when I caught myself yesterday drinking black coffee from Mr. Visionary's cup, and enjoying it,  I knew I was done in. I can recognize a nail in a coffin when I see one: the old me was gone, never to return. Interestingly, I was thoroughly content with that revelation.   I know it didn't happen in the beginning, as I was too busy trying to assert my independence from and (shamefully) superiority over said Visionary. But gradually, imperceptibly even, over the last eighteen years as I began to truly know my man, I have become like him in ways I never would have imagined.

As I pondered all the myriad of ways I have "assimilated",  I have surprised myself with the completeness of the transformations. When I met Mr. Visionary, I loved milk chocolate; he loved dark chocolate. His coaxing and cajoling not only won me over to the dark side, but I now care only for extra dark chocolate. Milk chocolate is as reprehensible as a lick of the sugar bowl to me. There are other areas, some subtle, some overt, in which  I have taken on characteristics of  my visionary. Chocolate and coffee are just the ones the children giggle about the most.


Even without my active participation, just being with him, desiring to please him (i.e. always having some dark chocolate in the house), and enjoying fellowship with him, I have become like him. No striving, just assimilation.  I can't help but notice the similarities between my becoming like Mr. Visionary, and my becoming like my Lord. As I have been with Him, as I have desired to please Him (doing those things which bless His heart) , and as I have enjoyed sweet fellowship with Him, I have become more like Him. No striving, just assimilation. I can't think of a more natural way to become more like my husband...or my Husband.

Or to fall in love with them more.
 

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Where I come from, "It's snowing down South", is the common phrase to communicate to a woman that her slip is showing below the hem of her dress.  As grateful as one certainly is after receiving such information, it is still rather disconcerting to realize that the thing has crept down on you without your knowledge. Life is like that sometimes, though. Just like that undergarment that quietly slides when our attention is elsewhere, we slip into patterns of living that honestly, are just boring and without life. Survival mode on auto pilot becomes the norm as we lead lives of quiet desperation, not knowing what it is that is missing.

After becoming convinced that the Lord wanted to do a work in us regarding the mortgage, I didn't wait until a great "talking moment" to cautiously mention it to Mr. Visionary. I did not bait him with a, "By the way, I have something big I want to talk over with you" set up. But one day, when I was kissing him goodbye, I whispered that I'd be perfectly happy if he wanted to sell this house and move to Nowheresville and live debt-free. If this was the Lord's will, I believed He would speak to Mr. Visionary and confirm what I had heard. The Lord I know, although He uses means, and often does speak through people, did not need my help. Anyway, this was not about getting he and I on the same page. It is about each of us being on God's page.

It was the spark he needed for the Lord to kindle his smoldering embers into a burning desire again. Mr. Visionary was no happier than I was about the way life was going. He, too felt that there was something more that the Lord had for us than just existing, but he was trying to do what he thought the family needed. I knew that a Visionary any man (or woman for that matter) who is not actively pursuing the dreams and calling the Lord has given him is dying.  I had forgotten...but the Lord had not.

That one statement, or rather, the Lord's confirmation of it, freed my Mr. Visionary. Newly reminded that I was on his side, that I had his back, and was prepared to follow him wherever the Lord leads, Mr. Visionary began to hear, and the dreams began to flow. He has been working on plans for a new house that will be off-grid, with himself working at home, because he truly believes it is God's will. The moving and  being debt-free are all means to the end of having Dad back home where he belongs ~ where God originally put him.

All I want is to follow the Lord with my husband and children. I believe He has a work prepared for our family to do as a unit. Culture Smulture. The Lord never intended for Daddies to be away from their families all day (or night for that matter). He never meant for Mammas to raise the children alone all day, either. Not a homeschool-friendly statement, I know ~ but it is true.  I have had folks argue this point with me from a cultural perspective or a 'practical' one, but a truly biblical case cannot be made to refute this. I know this because I have read about the Garden ~ Adam and Eve were together by design.

Father brought this woman and this man together because He wanted us to BE together. Father put these children into this family because He wanted them to be raised by the two of us together.  We only have one opportunity to raise the sheyna kepelahs (pretty heads) the Lord has given us. That is freedom, not pressure. Focusing on how we want ourselves and our children to have a rich relationship with Him ~ to KNOW Him, makes it easier to slough off all the extraneous baggage of life and get back to basics.   Knowing that He leads us to want to do His will and then to do it, means that we don't have to worry about how it will happen.

We can trust that if He leads us to something, He will lead us through it as well.

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Dear Mr. Visionary,   You know I love to make lists, so I thought I'd write a list including all those reasons for which I believe you qualify for the Father of The Century Award:   -for taking care of the yucky linens when someone throws up -for tractor rides and  tree houses -for your exuberance when we find out about expecting each new blessing -for your tears of joy when each new blessing is birthed -for wrestling matches -for your patient teaching -for your "effectual prayers of a righteous man" on behalf of our family -for your fierce protectiveness of the children and me -for getting up in the night to check on everyone -for going to work faithfully, day in and day out, working out in the heat, the rain, the snow even when you don't want to -for speaking the truth in love -for never wavering when the Lord has given you a stand to take -for your perserverance in seeking the Lord's will for our family -for leading us in worshipping our Lord -for teaching us His Word -for teaching us to have fun:   Dad and the kids wrestling. Even Doodle is in the back behind the boys. Can you guess which one is Literary Lady?   (This is the abridged version of the list. I don't think the blog will hold a post long enough to write the exhaustive list.)     Love,   The Mommy

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