I like to pretend that I am a stay at home/homeschooling mama who dotes on her husband, children and animal while maintaining the perfect house while dappling the the herbal arts...  and while this is mostly true  I have a secret identity 1 day a week.... I go to work....

I have been an RN for almost 20 years and have worked in ICU's from Florida to Alaska...  I've done nights/days/weekends and holidays...

My job now is working in the ICU where we have surgical patients including open heart patients.

Patients who have open heart or bypass surgery don't go to the recovery room... they come to us, and we recover and stabilize them... most do well and follow an established pattern, but not all do... you have to know what to look for.

I don't know that I could ever leave nursing completely, though it is getting harder the older I get... you wouldn't believe how many people out there weigh more than 350#....  also I feel pretty competent as a nurse...

I guess that is why I don't think I could ever be in business for myself... I've been in this business for too long and while I enjoy creating crafts... I have to admit a certain level of insecurity when it comes to my creations...

I hate to think that someone spent their hard-earned money to buy something from me and they don't find it to be perfect....  I hate the accountability that selling things brings...  

The funny thing is that my mother was encouraging me to sell some of the things I've made, but I just hate the thought of money on a certain level.... I hate the filth of it... yes, you need it to live, and I do have a very comfortable lifestyle, I do what I have to do to earn money... nursing is a very caring and giving profession, but it is also one of the most crude ones also.... I don't want the vulgarity of money to enter the part of my life that I enjoy...... kind of a strange thought, but I get kinda strange that way....

Maybe I just need to get over this... after all I'm wanting to make another handbag, and I probably won't ever use the one I just made yesterday...    I just gave 20 to goodwill and have another 20 in the closet that I have too much emotional attachment for to give away....

Please excuse all of this... I am just really tired and should be eating dinner and going to bed....