I have to admit that the whole WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) thing that came along after my time and often seemed to nothing more than a way to guilt people into submission, but it has been the question on my mind this week.... 

I guess I'm wondering what would Jesus do if he lived today?  What does being a modern-day Christian really look like? 

For so many people that means looking at music or clothes, but I'm wondering if that all isn't really subjective any way?   Would Jesus go to a rock concert wearing 7 jeans, or would he go hang out at the local coffee shop with his laptop?  I'm not talking about the consideration of sin either, please.  I think that there is a possibility for decency and morality in our society.

I don't really know how a man who lived 2000 years ago would relate to our present times, but I do know that Jesus hung with his friends over meals, that he went to gatherings with people who were known sinners including your local crooked IRS guy.  He even commended the woman who sat and talked with him despite her homemaking/hostess duties that were ignored.  It really sounds like Jesus had an active social life and not like he didn't live within the culture of the time.  He also didn't seem to see people the way that we so often see them.  He saw people who were lost and needed saving.  He didn't seem to look at what we are, but at what we could be.

I think the reason for my questioning is because I don't want to rationalize life today.  I want to live in the time in which I have been placed.  I think that we are each born into the season in which we belong, and it's up to us to find our place in it.  I just see so many people who don't enjoy their lives, and I often feel that need to play a martyr or get too wrapped up in being busy, and I'm wondering how right that really is.   I don't want to be so busy that I don't have a life to enjoy.  Jesus had a job and a ministry, but he still found time to meet people, have friends and experience life on earth....

Since today has been an incredibly busy day, and I want to go watch So You THink You Can Dance rather than sit in front of the computer, I figured that I'd continue as I did last Wednesday and let you hear the music that has been stuck in my head this week...

This week The Wallflowers.... Unfortunately you're on your own with this one.....  No video, no music, just words... and if I ever discover if I can upload from iTunes I will, but it won't be tonight....  You can go here to find a free link to listen....

It's funny how so many things trigger memories and how old feelings are remembered by nothing more than a smell or a song.  Maybe it's just my middle-aged hormones messing with me, but I've had alot of old memories come back lately.

I hate when people live or dwell in the past, and talk about how they "used to" do things, but I'm afraid that I'm finding myself doing this alot lately and I'm disappointed with myself.

I don't want to feel tied to the person I used to be any more.  I don't want the sin back, and I don't want to glorify the sin.

I guess the hard thing lately is adjusting.  I'm wondering how to merge the memories and life into the person I want to be. 

I don't want to glorify my past, or make it sound like fun when it wasn't.  Yes, there were good times, but I was lost. 

Marc told me recently that I was a traveller by nature.  I think he's probably right.  I have a hard time not moving on at this point.  I feel too settled.  I almost feel like I'm trying to stir things up in other areas as I can't pack up my life and take it on the road right now.  I really feel like I am at the crux of a big decision that could either bless me or **** me.

THe thing is, that in the past, I know I made some bad decisions.  I learned from them and they changed who I was for the good, but they weren't the right things.  I turned from God, but He still blessed me and worked in me despite my sin.

I think the cool thing about now is that maybe I finally grasp a bit of what He is trying to tell me, and that maybe just realizing the issues I am dealing with will help me to maintain.  Alot of the things that burdened me earlier in life seem so small now.  I feel more prepared to deal with things.   It's funny how time gives you that perspective. 

So.. I guess what I'm saying is that I think I've finally worked some stuff out in my head.  I'm feeling stronger and more sure as to what I need to be.  I believe that I even know how to get myself to where I need to be.  I think that the Bible spells it out pretty clearly.  I'm hoping that now I can move on with a bit more productivity and leave these soul-searching posts behind me.  I know that I won't miss them...

So I know who I am, and who I want to be.  I need to be that person, and cut out all of the other stuff that takes away from it... it's only a waste of time otherwise.

I've never been a coffee snob...  I've worked the night shift for too many years and drank cooked coffee that was hours old that had been brewed thru brown paper towels when the day shift had used up all of the real filters.

I drink organic, non-gmo stuff now, but it is generally cheap and not great with the taste masked by store brand hazelnut creamer.

BUT... I can see a change coming....

As I've said before... my church has recently bought and redeemed the local burned out, redneck night club in town.  We have our services there on Saturday nights and Sunday mornings.  One addition is The Coffee Bar.  It is opening to the public this Monday from 6am-10am with hours increasing as business does. 

I have to admit that I am a cream and sugar kind of girl until I tasted straight expresso from Counter Culture Coffee.  I can see this turning me into a coffee snob for sure. 

If you want to try some out feel free to drop in during business hours or come to one of the services (Sat 6pm or Sun 9:30 or 11:15am).  We will also be giving out free iced coffee at the Georgia Barbeque Classic off Douhtit Ferry Rd in Cartersville on Saturday.

I've been itching to move for a while, but often it seems that the baggage of life weighs us down.  It only becomes harder the longer we put it off... so that it seems that changing and moving on become impossible hurdles to overcome.

Then I got the bright idea that I could start to travel again.  I was a traveller in my early 20s and went from town to town on assignment with different hospitals for 13 week stints.  A luxury-style apartment is usually furnished as a part of the deal, and the salaries are usually pretty good, too.  Granted it would be different now, but I could figure it out....

Or, we could just sell everything and buy an RV and live in it and migrate from place to place as we felt led.

But then I realized that there was a certain emptiness in these things.  Yes, my family might be together, but what would we really be accomplishing other than maybe having some cool experiences on the road.  I realized that I needed to find the way to have cool experiences here at home....

Again I am considering my purpose here on earth, and what my role is supposed to be.

I recently saw a video by Francis Chan.  I had seen some of his sermons before, but he really spoke to me with his message.  He spoke on Revelation 21:8

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.

I was challenged by his attention to observance that cowards are placed with what appears to be sinners.  I had never noticed or paid attention to this before....

Then I look around me at the world.  I don't think that there is any discussion that the world is a sad, depraived place that is filled with the lost.  Many Christians look around themselves and see the abominations and the sin and their responses are to hide and turn away.  Then there are those Christians who seem maybe a bit too worldly...  Are either of these groups right?  are either of them really wrong?

I guess I'm seeing inspiration from both sides because I'm seeing people living for Christ regardless of their circumstances...  

So it hit me...  The world is filled with sin, but God is still here, too, and it's an amazing and beautiful place filled with some pretty incredible people.  I may be meant to travel, but then again I may wait for a while.  Because it doesn't really matter whether I'm here or out in Yosemite....  Whatever life we feel we should live... we should live, but live it with courage and passion based in Christ.

I have nothing to say today that would be new as it seems life is just life lately.  I'm not getting alot accomplished, but it really doesn't seem to matter.

Besides some sewing, as I've realized I have no clothing that I can actually wear and not look like a baglady, I've been burning alot of CDs to listen to while I'm burning up and down the road.

This song has been one I can't get out  of my head....

Everlong

hello
I've waited here for you
everlong
tonight I throw myself into
and out of the red
out of her head she sang

come down
and waste away with me
down with me
slow how
you wanted it to be
I'm over my head
out of her head she sang

and I wonder
when I sing along with you
if everything could ever feel this real forever
if anything could ever be this good again
the only thing I'll ever ask of you
you've got to promise not to stop when I say when
she sang

breathe out so I can breathe you in
hold you in
and now I know you've always been
out of your head
out of my head I sang

I'm no longer young, unless you compare me to someone really ancient.  I've been in nursing for over 20 years, married for more than 15, and a mother for 11.  I've come to the point where experience has finally caught up with me.

When I was 20, I wanted the knowledge of those around me who were experienced, but I wasn't so stupid that I didn't realize that it wasn't really worth knowing if you didn't learn it on your own.  But I still wanted it.  I hated feeling like I was missing something based upon my age.

Today I was thinking about different things that I knew I could have done better, or just not have screwed up.  What would life had been like if I was then the person that I am now.... if I had the knowledge and experience that I didn't have then?  What would I tell the person that I used to be if I could go back in time?  Would I really change that much, especially knowing that it would alter the person and life I now have?

I found it strange that I would even think about this kind of thing, as I'm not one to dwell on the past, or consider things to be regrets.  It's really just not like me. 

Honestly, I think I would tell myself the same things that I tell myself now....  Yes, I do talk to myself way too much, but I've found that it works for me so I tend to go with it...

I think I would remind myself of the final goals that I have, and to be strong and courageous... to keep my eyes and heart on what they should be focused upon.  This is often the hardest thing to remember....

I'm not really someone obsessed with time and age as much as I probably appear.  Quite frankly, in my head I've always felt the same age, and it seems weird that time keeps on ticking and the years go by, but I still feel the same.  I think that was what was so strange this morning... I'm used to thinking of my life on a continuum, and I realized that I've actually completed some of the goals and milestones that I hadn't set for myself... 

I'm not thinking that I've obtained some new level in life, but that maybe I'm ready for the next thing and possibly have a new perspective.  I'm interested in seeing how I handle things as it maybe different than in the past.

2 Samuel 10:12

"Be of good courage, and let us be courageous for our people, and for the cities of our God, and may the Lord do what seems good to him.”

I guess that's what I get for thinking....

I posted 3 days in a row, and then nothing...  nothing at all.   Honestly, my brain kind of feels like mush lately.  I am having difficulty thinking and remembering.  Most likely the heat and pollen of summer, but who knows.

One of my goals for this week are to get organized.  I'm not sure what to get organized for, though, and that may lead to problems.  I did finally this Saturday go thru and clean out the school area.  I actually had stuff from 2 years ago squirrelled away in there.  I thought that I was doing a much better job with this, but I guess not.

I went thru some stuff and thought about selling it, but, as anti-pack rat as I am, I feel the need to hold onto it.  Maybe it's like the baby stroller I still have in my attic... these things are the keys to the good memories that I have in life, and I'm not sure that I want to have them be gone just yet.  Maybe I'm waiting to see if I won't have another chance to use these things....   If nothing else, Jett wants me to save alot of them for when he has kids that his wife will homeschool...

Sorry, but again, my brain is mush and I need to go work in the garden for a while.....

I've been doing alot of reading lately, and as life has been heavy, most of it has been very light.  One book I found I came about by chance, but it was such a lovely book I felt the need to share. 

Apparently I've been under a rock, or perhaps raising children, for the last 10 years or so and haven't been aware of the literary scene during this time.  

The Alchemist , by Paulo Coelho, was in the young adult section of my library, and it has a simple, but deep theme based on love and divinity.  It may be a bit too new age for some, but it didn't seem to cross that line to me.  It is actually the most translated book in the world right now by a living author, and focuses on following your dreams.

"People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them.  We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands.  Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly...... Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.  And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."  The Alchemist,  p 130

This has been a busy week, but all is well, and everyone is back at their respective homes and out of the hospital.

In fact the worst part and most embarrasing thing that happened was actually when I had to go shopping for my parents at the Walmart.  I at least went to the 'nice' walmart in Acworth instead of the skanky one nearest to me.  But that's not the bad part....

They gave me their grocery list and it involved name brand milk and cereal. 

You have to realize that when I tell my kids they can have any treat from the store, they seldom pick candy, but go for the cereal instead as we never eat the stuff.  If they do get it they also realize that it's the store brand substitute.

But in an effort to be a good daughter, I bought Kellogg's Cornflakes and Special K with almonds.  I also threw in some Poptarts as an added bonus...

I guess if this is the worst thing that has happened my week hasn't been so bad...

In life we all have choices to make.  Some are easy and some are more of a challenge.  What really sucks is when the choices seem to be taken away, and we are left with our reactions.  But then... we do still have a choice in how we choose to deal and react.

Lately I've been doing alot of reacting, rather than guiding the situations that have arisen.   My choice would be to not blog due to it being an active choice rather than a necessity, but then again, you don't always get what you want out of life.

The things that seem to be happening lately are not things that I will be wanting to put out there for everyone, but I did want to just post a few, so that if you are so inclined, you may remember us.

I spent last night sitting in the emergency room with my step-father.  We thought he was having a stroke, but it maybe that it is an infection of some sort.  Tomorrow I'll be sitting at that same hospital waiting to hear how my mother comes thru her surgery and reconstruction for breast cancer, as well finally finding out if it has spread and she will require chemo/rad.

I'm still working, attempting to be a wife and mother, and hang out with the people I enjoy, but it is beooming difficult to manage it all.  There are some other family issues that I am obligated to as well.

Honestly, I wasn't doing well with it all last week, but over the weekend I had my usual epiphany over the situation and I am keeping it together.  I've kind of faced and dealt with my own mortality it would seem in the last few days, and it's not such a bad thing.

I sent an email to a friend the other day, and I think it really helped to clarify some things in my head.  I've never thought of myself as a together person who could handle things well when they happened to me.  Yes, I deal great with other's issues, but not always my own.  But then as much as I consider myself negative and sarcastic, I am a pretty positive person under it all.  I also hate not being able to fix things, but I've realized that sometimes control is not an option and it is our reactions that we will be judged by. 

I guess I've just realized that life is short.  I've already wasted so much time, and I need to use what I'm given wisely in life.  I need to look at being an encouragement rather than dwelling in my own self-pity.  The world can be a harsh, bad place... and there is alot of evil out there, but we have the choice each day to live a different life that is holy and uplifting.

Psalm 40

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.

4 Blessed is the man who makes
the Lord his trust,
who does not turn to the proud,
to those who go astray after a lie!
5 You have multiplied, O Lord my God,
your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
none can compare with you!
I will proclaim and tell of them,
yet they are more than can be told.

6 In sacrifice and offering you have not delighted,
but you have given me an open ear. [1]
Burnt offering and sin offering
you have not required.
7 Then I said, “Behold, I have come;
in the scroll of the book it is written of me:
8 I delight to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart.”

9 I have told the glad news of deliverance [2]
in the great congregation;
behold, I have not restrained my lips,
as you know, O Lord.
10 I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart;
I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;
I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness
from the great congregation.

11 As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain
your mercy from me;
your steadfast love and your faithfulness will
ever preserve me!
12 For evils have encompassed me
beyond number;
my iniquities have overtaken me,
and I cannot see;
they are more than the hairs of my head;
my heart fails me.

13 Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me!
O Lord, make haste to help me!
14 Let those be put to shame and disappointed altogether
who seek to snatch away my life;
let those be turned back and brought to dishonor
who delight in my hurt!
15 Let those be appalled because of their shame
who say to me, “Aha, Aha!”

16 But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation
say continually, “Great is the Lord!”
17 As for me, I am poor and needy,
but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
do not delay, O my God!

The concept of a selfless selfishness has been in the back of my mind for quite a while.   You know how sometimes a certain song or phrase is just stuck there?  Well, this one has been creeping up on me for a while, and I thought I would try to explore it and make some sense of it if there is any to be had.   I also feel the need to apologize as I've felt the need to pick a fight lately, and hope that it hasn't come across here.  

One of our goals is JOY, that would be putting Jesus first, others next and yourself last.  At work and at home I am putting everyone in front of myself on the needs list.  BUT I'm wondering if that is really a good thing to do so often?

If you continue to constantly give of yourself will you eventually run out?

I think the conclusion I've come to is that, yes, you will run out if you don't allow yourself time to replenish.  But as a mother, wife, daughter, friend, and caregiver I've not been encouraged to take... only to give.  This goes against my grain.  Isn't it bad not to put everyone else first?

I think that I've had this wrong to a degree.  Everyone else gets a part of me so that there is nothing left.  This really isn't a part of the equation though.  You are supposed to put yourself in there also. 

But doesn't serving others really make you feel good about yourself.  Yes, by serving others I am getting a large degree of satisfaction.   This makes me think of missions, for example.  Anyone I've ever known who went on a short-term mission (I'm not talking the lifers as I think they have an entirely different perspective) talks about how much THEY got out of it.  Yes they did some tasks and interacted with the locals, but it was really more meaningful for them it seemed.  So they are seemingly being selflessly selfish almost. 
But I'm not doing a short-term stint in this life. 

Is the only satisfaction I should have in life tied to what I do for others, though?  I really don't think so.

It seems that every few years I have to remind myself that if I burn myself out there will be nothing left to give away, so it is important that I take care of my own needs also. 

Recently at the gym I was speaking to the owner.  Part of her philosophy is taking time to do things for yourself.  As this is a gym it is a bit over the top and there is even a slogan on a t-shirt to that effect.  I initially thought that this was an incredibly selfish, worldly view that I didn't care to share, but I had an epiphany. 

I do need to do things just for me.  I need the same things that everyone else gets from me.  It isn't necessarily selfish to take care of yourself so that you will be around for a long time.  Don't let yourself get to the place where if one more thing happens it will break you.

I think the concept of balance is important.  I also think that what each of us does to regroup will be different.  For one person cooking and meal planning is a chore, but for another it maybe their play.

I guess I would encourage everyone, including myself, to find their bliss.  Find something that makes you happy and remember to recharge.  I don't know that I would make this the center of my life, but remember that you are a part of the JOY equation and that you can't ignore yourself and your needs. 

Let me just start by saying I hate both.  That would be Dave Ramsey and diets.

Let me then qualify that remark.  Yes, Dave Ramsey personally irks me on many levels, but I am more disturbed and mistrustful of his emphasis on wealth building.  Yes, I've read all his books, seen his seminars, and listened to him a time or 2.  I know he advocates good things like being debt-free, tithing and spending responsibly, yet I still have a hard time buying into it.  My own person system of finance includes steps that are almost identical to his, but my final goal is what differs.  To me it really is all about the goals you have in life.

I guess my feeling on it is I don't want to be wealthy.  I think that if I'm wealthy (according to my standards, as pretty much everyone who can read this has a computer with a modem and should be considered wealthy by the world's standards) I probably not doing something right.  In other words, I'm not living and giving to my full potential.

This got me thinking about my struggle the past few months with losing weight.  I realized that I can either try (sorry, hate that word, too) to exert more control over these areas of my life, or I can just choose to  not dwell on them so much and give them power over me.

I could be bogged down by the thought and attempt  of having no mortage and feel pressured to work more, spend less, and be stressed, or I can just let it go.

I can count every calorie, measure and weigh in every week, and live only to eat.  This gives food the power over me, and makes me miserable.

I just recently saw the correlation between the two and realized, as noted in my post below on burnout that these things are stressing me.

Since I dropped out of what was my normal life a few weeks ago, a couple of things have happened.  I've kind of figured out where I am, where I've been, and where I need to go.  I've realized who my friends are in life, and that I need to value those friendships more.  I've realized what a great life I have, and that I need to make each moment count.  Stress from money and dieting aren't a part of the life I want, so I've decided to un-invite them from my world.

The irony is that the world doesn't end if you have some debt.  (Please notice I said some, and to each the some will be different).  I can sleep quite easily knowing that my mortage isn't paid off and knowing that I don't have an emergency fund sanctioned by Dave.  I might even leave the balance unpaid on my credit card!

The other paradox in this is that since I let go of the stress... I haven't been hungry.  When I quit worrying about each carb and fiber gram, how many minutes my meals were spaced and how much I exercised to offset my eating I discovered that I ate smaller meals.  I learned to feel hungry again, and realized it wasn't such a bad thing.  I don't feel a slave to food any more.  In the past month I'm down almost 10 pounds without really thinking about it too much.  We already eat really healthy foods, but I think the stress I always had made me feel like I had to constantly eat or eat too much.

At any rate, I've decided to just not worry about some things anymore.  I'm not giving power to the things of this world, the things that in 100 years won't even matter....

I realize that I forgot several possibly pertinent points with this post such as the who and where....

So if you are in Cartersville, Ga this weekend, look me up....

We are moving... or at least my church is.  Last fall my church, Oakleaf, bought a bar.  It has since been renovated and redeemed as it is now our worship center.

There are several cool things about it, one of which is the coffee bar that will be open for business during the week, and the always incredible music.  We are also going to do a Saturday night service.

So if you are free this Saturday night at 6pm, feel free to come by and worship with us.  I should be in the coffee shop if you want to say 'hey'.  Services are also Sunday morning at 9:30 and 11:15, but I will be out hiking instead...

.... just not right now.  I've got stuff I'm trying to sort thru and I don't really have much to say. 
I know that there are people who happen to read this regularly and true to form, I hate to think that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to.

But then again, maybe I'm just really goofing off and just don't want anyone to know.

If nothing else, I received this from Michael Pearl yesterday and thought it a valid thought to ponder....

Okay.  It makes me feel about 14 years old, but this is the list of songs that I'm listening to now...

Sometimes I don't feel like I have a good gauge on normal society, so I don't know if the concept of burnout is one that is really mainstream or specific to nurses and nursing.  It seems that burnout happens so much in the hospital setting that it is considered a normal part of (non-)functioning.  Maybe that's one of the reasons that I've chosen to overlook this for so long.   I refuse to accept that my human body can be so weak as everyone else's, and that I'm succumbing to normal human ailments.

The truth is that for the past 5 years I've pushed my body and mind beyond any boundaries I thought possible.  I've not only pushed, but maintained the level of stress on a daily basis, never letting it up.  No vacations, no breaks that weren't filled with activity, and no rest.

What brought this to my attention was a picture.  This picture was of me almost 5 years ago on the last vacation right before I started homeschooling.  I was smiling, tan and thin.  My kids were 6 and almost 2.  I worked when I felt like it, exercised and played.  I remembered being happy and my life being joyful.

The joy is still there now, but it is so dampened by the burden of stress and fatigue that I know I am not really experiencing the reality of what life should and can be.

I realized this by accident.  Someone was discussing how to deal with stress, and of course, I dismissed most everything they said.  I do have the issue with generally feeling like I know it all(for those of you who know me in real life, please be kind), especially when it comes to things like this.  I've healed my body of adrenal fatigue from working overnight, and I know how to relax and de-stress.

Stupidly, though, while I know how to do these things I wasn't actually putting them into practice.  I was de-stressing and relaxing just enough so that I wouldn't explode, but not enough to where I felt a true renewal of the person I could be.

Relaxing was generally looking up stuff on-line, playing on facebook, blogging, or watching tv.  Relaxing was researching herbs,recipes, and treatments for others. 

I've come to realize that this isn't what relaxation is or what it should be.  This is not renewal of my body or spirit.  It isn't working and my life is suffering at this time.

Somehow over the past 15 months I've managed to hit 300 posts.  I was thinking that I should post something substantial and meaningful, or perhaps take pictures of something new that I've learned, but I'm afraid I can't do that right now.... 

So since I have nothing of substance to say, and no tutorial to post... I'll show you what I got to see on a visit to one of my favorite places... (Tennessee, for the record)  Thanks for a lovely day, J....

I've been pretty busy lately...  Actually I'm pretty busy all the time.  I do get alot done though as I schedule my time and like to think I use it wisely.

BUT... Please don't think that I live in the perfect home, have the perfect yard, wonderfully smart kids who get everything instantly, and can cook anything to perfection.   Please don't think that I'm baking before the sun comes up, gardening all morning with my kids who are eager to help, and then cleaning and sewing away in the afternoons.

This whole post started because I destroyed a batch of bread.... I'm not talking slightly over-cooked,  but I'm talking forgot to possibly add yeast so I added more, forgot to add enough liquid then added the wrong thing.  I then didn't cook it long enough and then when I dumped it out of the pan (hey, it actually came out without too much hassle) it was raw in the center... really raw... and it turned into a blob on the rack.  I then forced it back into the pan and returned it to the oven, but I then had what could possibly be used as a brick.

The reason I say this is not to put myself down, but so that those of you who see me doing what you consider to be "alot" are not discouraged, but encouraged. 

I used to struggle with what I considered to be an ideal, but then real life came up and bit me and I realized my delusions.  I screw up everyday.  I just don't dwell on failure, but see it as an opportunity to learn something... In my opinion, anything you can learn from, no matter how bad,  can be a positive thing...

I'm at a point in life to where I have the luxury of time.... granted I do feel that I make pretty good use of my time thru scheduling and prioritizing.  I do get alot done, but it takes an effort.  I make it a priority to get a good diet and regular exercise so that I am physically able to do what I need and want to do.  Most importantly I make sure I keep my mind and heart focused on my goals and what I truly want to accomplish with my time here on earth...

I think that most every thing in life eventually comes down to attitude....  I guess I see that I've made my choices and with any choice there are always consequenses to live up to.  

I guess my point is in that often determining your goals and striving for them will often be more productive than doing things because you feel you should.  Don't get hung up on what others are doing, but focus on the needs of your family...  Don't let society pressure you to an ideal that is not your own.

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.  Phil 3:12