It happens occasionally in the military.  Suddenly wires are crossed, movements mixed, and a group of soldiers faces 'friendly fire'.  How terrible for the ones shooting to realize they've killed or wounded those on their own side.  How heart wrenching for the families to know their loved one was killed in the line of duty by their comrades.

The homeschool community is facing friendly fire.  We've spent so many years fighting for the right to school, against the skeptics, and shooting down the erroneous ideas about socialization and testing that we've got a militant mindset.  Now that we're not surrounded by a great cloud of naysayers, we've turned on ourselves.

Curriculum companies shred the reputation of other companies.  Christian business owners hold bitter, and sometimes inaccurate, feelings about other business owners.  The reality of the cost of homeschooling has created a large market of discount home school suppliers.  The 'little guy' can't compete and begrudges the apparent 'takeover'.  Rather than understanding the need for people to spend their dollars wisely (especially those on limited budgets), they create snob-like cliques that denigrate those who do not support the 'little guy'. 

The discounters often, initially in self-defense I think, retaliate with accusations of unreasonable expectations, elitism, and self-righteousness.  It is a vicious circle that ultimately ends in hurting all those around including the principle players.  The result is a fractured front.

These aren't the only areas of course.  Who found the old grammar series first, who published the integrated science curriculum first, who has the best quality of the biographies...  It goes on indefinitely.  Friendships are formed and then smashed over co-written curriculum, business websites, and homeschool groups.

It is time to put a stop to this kind of ugliness.  It is time for us to join hands and FORGIVE the pain that another may have caused.  So many are sitting around nursing wounds and waiting for the 'other side' to apologize.  The other side is often sitting around thinking, "What happened?"  It's time to 'be the better person' and forgive.  It is time to consider one another better than ourselves.  It is time to wrap our hearts and arms around our brothers and sisters in Christ and say, "We're in this together.  I don't agree with everything you've done or do but I can love you, I can respect  you and I can move on from this place with love in my heart for you and pray for the best for you."

I do not believe that opposite personalities who clash at every turn must stick together when the 'partnership' does not work.  I do believe that we are called to be at peace with all men.  I do not believe that we must ignore blatant sin.  I do believe that we are called to think the best of one another and recognize that what seems to be one thing can be another.  I do not believe that all curricula is created equal.  I do believe that everyone has different needs and therefore will desire different curriculum than the person next to them.

I pray that soon we'll see 'friendly fire' disappear.  We're weakening our lines.  The gaping holes that our rifts create are allowing those who oppose homeschooling to creep into our ranks and discourage the troops.  It's time to put a stop to it.  It's time to turn the guns away from one another and promise one another that "I've got your back."

We sang this hymn in church today... as I sang it, I realized it is entirely appropriate for wives to sing about their husbands just as it is for the church to sing about Christ.  (I know, novel idea isn't it?)

I was thinking about plants, soil, and blooms yesterday.  There is something about this time of year that turns nearly everyone into a budding horticulturist.  Of course, for me, mine morphed into thoughts of people, life, and the fruit from our lives.

Each of us is like a plant.  We have roots, leaves, soil, and prayefully, blooms.  Now God has created each of us to fill some role in this world and because of that, He didn't create all dasies, or hyacinths, or even flowers!  Some of us are trees while others are grasses or ornamentals.  And all of those different plants have different soil needs.  Some need more sand while others need to be kept moist.  Some are inclined to alkaline while others... yes, it's predictable isnt' it... are acidic lovers.

Think of what happens when an acid loving azalea marries a gardenia.  Suddenly two very different needs must be met in the same 'soil'.  For the azalea to demand that the soil be amended to suit only him would be just as thoughtless as it would be for the gardenia to insist on 'her way or no way'.   The same is true, of course, for their children.   While they all have similar needs that can be met together others must be tailored to the plant that God created.  All plants need air, water, soil, and nutrients.

This is, of course, one reason for people to be wise in whom they marry.  Some people are simply too different to make a good spouse no matter how much they seem to 'fit together'.  Then again, some plants look sickly and limp in their current soil.  With some careful transplanting, allowing for some soil shock, plants can finally thrive and flourish if given a second chance in a healthier environment.  I've seen marriages like this.  The husband or wife seem stifled in the home they grew up in but once married and settled into their new home, they blossom as never before.

Speaking of blossoming, it is quite common for healthy plants to look beautiful but never bloom.  They seem healthy enough, the plant is strong, it's weathered years of changes and always looks gorgeous but if a rosebush is just another green bush, it isn't very satisfying.  You wanted a rosebush, not a shrub.  However, if put through a rigorous pruning process we often discover the blooms were there waiting to burst forth once excess foilage is removed.

And young tender plants often require pinching.  The baby plants aren't allowed to bloom at first in order to produce a stronger and more lovely fragrant flower later.  It sounds much like our daughters doesn't it?   We restrict the tendency to early relationships with the opposite sex in order to save their blossoming for such a time as they can truly grow and flourish as God intended.

I can't seem to stop finding ways to apply this.  Our children's educational needs, personal growth needs, and interrelational needs.  I certainly do not want to give the impression that I believe God has so over specialized each of us that we must recreate a specific world for each of our children..  That would be both foolish for us and for them. 

There is a popular saying, "Bloom where you are planted."  This is an excellent exercise in contentment.  However if it is impossible, due to soil, light, or other defiiencies, for us to bloom where we were planted, woudln't it be wise for us to at least amend our soil so that we can!

Isn't it amazing that Jesus referred to us as seeds sown and our actions as fruit?  It truly does fit the analogy.  I never cease to be amazed at the myriad of ways we can describe the life our Lord has given us.

One third of a pregnancy.

Long enough to learn to read fluently.

Enough time to learn the basics of an instrument.

One fourth of a year.

A season.

Time enough to master a new hobby.

How long it will take to edit one of my books.

One third of a school year.

The difference between sanity and mental instability.

How long it will take for Jenna's skull fracture to heal completely.

Christmas... where to begin....

It is six weeks of build up to my very favorite part...

Thanksgiving is over, the turkey deboned, the puzzle pieced, and the Hungarian Coffee Cake is gone. Everyone is satisfied after an unusually varied meal. Someone puts on a Christmas CD. Bing Crosby sings White Christmas.

Silver Bells

Adeste Fideles

Silent Night

Christmas in Killarney

Oh Holy Night

Someone pulls out the ads and we plan Black Friday...

After lunch and a freezing morning shopping, we brave the crowds again for a tree... The scent of a fresh Douglas Fir. Heavenly.

Popcorn... hot cocoa... Peppermint and cranberries.

The voices of excited children singing Away in a Manger as they string popcorn and cranberries.

Shopping in stores playing music to honor the Savior when usually I blush to hear the words sung. The Salvation Army a presence at every stop. People smiling... just a little more patient with lines and excitable children than four months ago when shopping for back to school clothes.

Pretty wrapping paper, colorful ribbons, perky bows. Packages piled all over our tiny living room giving it the appearance of a treasure trove.

Baking smells. Hungarian Coffee Cake. Peppermint bark. Sugar cookies.

Bundling in warm jackets to sing at the convelescent home.  Oh holy night... the stars are brightly shining...  The sweet older lady rocking her baby doll to the tune of the music. She is never without her baby doll. The sight of tears in my son's eyes when he realizes she thinks it is her real baby. Fall... on your knees... The toothless man's grin as he tries to sing along. We three kings... Their thankful lonely faces as we turn to leave. My kids voices, thick with emotion as they realize we're the only guests they've seen that day... We wish you a Merry Christmas...

Mrs. Brown's delight at our stopping. Her son's devoted attention to her. Pastor Neipp's grin as we sing under their window. The love they show each other the greatest gift they could give us.

Candlelight service. Gifts for our friends. Our children are so excited. The rush home and change into pajamas so we can go look at Christmas lights. The north west development with luminerias. The house on Vicki Lane. Our friend's parents who dress as Mr. and Mrs. Claus. They can't this year. Mrs. Claus went home to be with Jesus. It's been one of those years.

Home again, unwrapping presents from friends and neighbors. Hot chocolate. singing. Sleepy babies. The tree lights on, and the house lights off.

It's quiet now. Luke Chapter two... "And it came to pass... and He grew in wisdom, and in stature, and in favor with God and man..." Read by a gentle masculine voice always with a trace of awe that God would come for such as he.

Oh how I love this season.

Have you ever felt like you're about to 'arrive'?   Not in the utopic sense but in the..."We're almost there kids" relief to be to your destination sense.  Picture driving down the wrong road, in the wrong direction because you have to.  It's the only way to get to the right road and head in the correct direction.  Now, imagine yourself at the intersection that you've been waiting for.  Once you make the turn onto the correct road, you are almost there.  It's just a bit farther once you turn onto that road.

I'm on that road.  I've just turned at the intersection.  It won't be long and my destination will be in sight.  I can't believe it.  It was a long road.   Sometimes it was hard to believe that I really was going to reach that intersection.  I often wondered if perhaps I wasn't being naive.   The anticipation of seeing the destination is building.  I am so thankful.  Not since my thunder puppy days have I felt like I've finally achieved what the Lord wants for me. 

It's a beautiful feeling.  I have a feeling, the destination won't look exactly like I've imagined or remembered but I am eagerly waiting to see it anyway.  This is so exciting for me.  Let me share some of the areas of my 'arrival'.

Perfectionism.  I think I've finally conquered it.  There are remnants that squirm to the surface and fight to free themselves from my  grasp but other than that, there is peace in the ranks.   (One could say that admitting this is, in and of itself, proof of those remnants!)  I can leave a job, barely started, half-finished, and even walk away from it all together without panic.  I can start in the middle of something when everything around me is falling apart.  I can clean one corner of a room without ripping the entire room to shreds.  Six months ago, this was not possible. 

I feel strangely peaceful.  Strangely because it is seven days until Christmas, not all of the presents are wrapped, we haven't baked cookies, and that's just the beginning.  I'm ok with it.  I see all the work ahead of me and I'm not overwhelmed.  I see the changes I need to make and look forward to them!  When did that happen? 

Unfortunately, I don't know when this happened or how.  I just know that it did.  I'm thankful for it.  I know that I will have my moments of exhaustion, overwhelmment, and the great need to escape again.  I am not optimistic enough to think that the frustrations of life are gone permanently.  However, now that I see the destination looming ahead of me, I realize that I'm really going to make it.  I may run out of gas and have to get refilled.  I may have car trouble or maybe it'll overheat.  However, even with bumps and jerks, I realize I'm on the right road, there may be small detours but I'm almost there!

I'm so excited.  I'm calm, but I'm excited.  I look at my desk, which is a complete mess, and rather than sigh and beat myself up for it, I think, "Stack the mail, toss that trash, reorganize the papers, and I know that in five minutes I will have a perfectly clear desk.  I think I'll do it as soon as I'm done here.

I am in awe.  Grateful awe.  The Lord's graciousness and mercy truly is new every morning.   For the first time since I finally squashed the final remnants of my thunder puppiness (now it's simple self-righteous arrogance when it reappears) I know what is coming.  I know I can do it.  I have every confidence that the Lord will bless the fruit of my hands.  I'm doing the right thing.  I love it. 

What a way to end what has been undeniably the most wonderful and awful year of my life!

A woman sat at a mahogany table diligently piecing together a puzzle.  It appeared to be a lovely picture from the small finished portions scattered about the table. 

The border was finished.  Like any avid puzzle aficionado, she ensured that her borders were carefully and perfectly pieced.  It's too easy to make a mistake on the center if the boundaries are not well definied.

An elderly woman watched closely as our puzzle builder worked on one particularly troublesome section.  Curious about why it was so difficult, she asked to see the finished picture in order to help.

"I don't have it.  This is a very special puzzle.  I was shown the finished puzzle a long time ago but I've forgotten many of the details.  I have a vague picture of what it should look like but I'm afraid I'll never get it all together correctly."

"How long have you been working on this puzzle?"

The puzzlist sighed.  "All my life.  At first my parents helped me.  I took their directions and they helped me get the border solidly defined.

"When I was older I saw the finished picture and wasn't wise enough to draw a sketch of where everything belonged and the source of lights and shadows to be sure I put every piece in it's proper place."

The wizened old woman nodded wisely.  "And have you asked to see the picture?"

She shook her head.  "No, I felt foolish for my negligence."

"Ask and it will be shown to you.  It is better to swallow your pride and receive help than to finish the wrong picture for your life."

She thought for a time and then turned to the older woman and asked, "But who would show me?"

"The older women are meant to show the younger woman the picture."

"You would show me?"  She began to hope.

"If you ask, I would be pleased to show you."

The younger woman gasped as she saw the picture.  Some of her pieces were out of place.  No wonder other pieces wouldn't fit properly!  How could she expect light to shine where shadows were meant to shield?

The older woman promised to return after a time and left our puzzle friend to rearrange the pieces of her puzzle to more accurately fit the intended design.  She was eager to make the changes.  Not everything was out of place.  All of her work was not for naught.  But she was concerned about delays.

She needed to draw the picture.  She couldn't let herself forget from which side the light shone or on what side of the gate the glorious tree stood.  She needed to remember that the animal beside the door was a dog, not a cat and that there was a vase in the upstairs window.

As she drew, she grew even more concerned.   What if it took too long?  What if in her drive to recreate the perfect picture from which she would finish the puzzle, she instead lost guard of all of the pieces.  Some could be bumped from the table and onto the floor.  They could be lodged in a crack, scratched, or worse, swept away with the debris.  If she wasn't careful, she'd discover that when she finished, there would be holes, possibly large ones, in the picture.

Finally, she learned a valuable lesson.  The picture is determined.  We can put it together correctly or try to go on memory.  Help for wisdom is there for the asking and there is always an older woman somewhere to show us the picture again.  It is wise to keep a reasonably detailed drawing of the picture but in our goal for a perfect puzzle we must not neglect the care of all of the pieces.  During certain times, it might be best to put the unfinished parts back in the box and cover the finished sections until you are able to work on them again.

How is your puzzle looking these days?

Someone pointed out today that I'm running on fumes.  I've gotten into the very terrible habit of only adding 1/4 tank of fuel.  The result is a nightmare.  You see, cars have 'sludge' in the bottom of the gas tank. Stuff that churns up from the main tanks that make your car run less efficiently and often causes those icky knocks and sputters.  When you keep your tank closer to full, it keeps that stuff settled more to the bottom of the tank.  (Unless you're one of those crazy drivers that turn corners on two wheels due to excessive speed.  Then there is no hope for you.)  A full tank is in no danger of quitting from lack of fuel.

On top of needing more fuel to keep my engine purring happily, my air filter is clogged.  I really need a new one.  I need the help to keep the airflow smooth and clean.  If I keep the old filthy one, I'll restrict the necessary air flow and again be less efficient.  Filters are essential items.

I'd probably also get better gas mileage if I'd be more of a turtle and less of a hare.  So what if the speed limit is 70?  Does that mean I can't drive 55 if it's safe and save gas?

My spark plugs are probably shot too.  No pep.  No zip.  I need to replace them so that I get a fast connection every time.  I find it interesting that spark plugs have no 'zip' until they're sparked by the power source.  It'd be funny to disconnect the wires to the spark plugs and expect them to still be able to help the vehicle run efficiently.  They need those wire connections to the Power Source.

I'm sure I need a good oil change.  The old is dirty and needs a fresh load to keep everything running smootly.  Without that change everything wears down and eventually can burn up the engine. 

Outside of the mechanics of the inner workings of my vehicle, I also realize that I need a detail job.  My paint job is dull and needs a good scrubbing and waxing.  Perhaps I need to consider an entirely new coat of paint.  The roof top could use some attention as well.  I need a good detail on my seats and cushions.  The dashboard needs a new cover and all the grit needs to come from all the crevices.

How do I expect this car to reflect pride of Ownership if I let it fall into disrepair and run it into the ground?

Gray areas.  Black and white issues.  We hear these and similar terms every day.  To hear some Christians talk, myself included, God created a world that looks like a 1950's television set. 

I am a very literal person as a general rule.  I like things clear cut and preferrably dried.  If it's wrong, it's wrong.  If it's right, it's right.  I don't like and am not personally comfortable with things that are neither right nor wrong.  And, if I'm truthful with myself, I tend to behave as if it isn't possible for something to be 'neutral' until applied.

Not everything in our lives is black and white, right or wrong.  As much as I'd like to say it isn't so, I cannot.  Chocolate is not evil.  That makes it good doesn't it?  No... not to the diabetic!  To one who lacks self-control it may also be a sin to partake knowing your personal weakness.  To another, they may choose to partake to LEARN self-control.  It depends upon the individual. 

Stealing is wrong.  This is a black and white thing.  It is wrong to deliberately take what doesn't belong to you from whom it does belong to in order to satisfy your own personal lusts.  Coveteousness is wrong.  Always.  Idolatry is wrong.  Whether worshipped as a 'statue' or by your behavior.  I can idolize an author, Pastor, TV show, or my Bible version.

Black and white.  God didn't make a world that is black and white.  He created a world of vibrant colors!  Reds, blues, golds, purples, greens... the lists are almost endless!  God created a world that makes 'technicolor' look dull!  Not everything must be relegated to good or bad, black or white.

What is good or bad should be clearly defined as such.  I am not advocating a world of blurred images!  I just hate to see that which can be used to the glory of God  attacked because some are weak and should avoid it for their own consciousness sake.

Color.  God is a brilliant artist of a colorful world.  Picture the church in full color and embrace that the Lord has made it so!

Two people read the Word.  They both believe.  They both repent.  They both confess Jesus as Lord.  They are both baptized.  They both attend church.  They both stand firm on the 'five solas'

Sola Scriptura- Scripture Alone

Sola Christus- Christ Alone

Sola Gratia- Grace Alone

Sola Fide- Faith Alone

Sola Deo Gloria- To God Alone be the Glory

They both homeschool, they both are Titus 2 "house despots" and both are commited to the pursuit of godliness in all of their actions.

One woman uses Veritas Press for her curriculum, the other woman uses PACES.  One of the women is a Vegan.  The other woman, while not feeding her family garbage, enjoys a good roast, sourdough bread, and chocolate cake!  One of the women wears Birkenstocks, corduroy skirts, and plaid flannel shirts in fall.  The other woman wears jeans, hand knitted sweaters, and turtlenecks with Keds.

One woman prefers the ESV.  The other woman reads the NASB.  One has one child.  The other has seven.  One family has a television with cable.  The other family has never owned a television and probably never will.  One family reads Harry Potter and C.S. Lewis, the other family avoids all fantasy and fairy tales.

You couldn't guess which family is which.  I've mixed them up so as not to make it possible to see a trend.  There is none.  The no-TV family reads HP.  They also are dresses-only.  The family with one child has the TV, wears pants, but does not read fantasy.  I tell you this so that you can see that there is not a direct corrolation between ALL of their choices.  Just some.

The women are UNIFIED in Christ.  Their doctrine is identical.  Their convictions are similar.  Their preferences are very different.  They are not identical to one another even though they share a unity in the bond of peace.

Why do we act as though we cannot be united in Christ until we are identical in preference, action, and goals?  One woman enjoys cooking and painting.  Another writes and has closets that are the envy of the world.  Then again, down the road four streets over another woman works hard at the home arts but is not particularly good at any of them... but her children don't care, she is a marvelous teacher and has a beautiful relationship with her children. 

I don't think that we are supposed to water down the truths of the Word in order to make them platable to everyone in the name of 'unity'.  Sin is sin.  We can't call it a 'disorder' in order to make people more comfortable.  Truth is truth.  We cannot hide under the term 'personal conviction' when it is a mandate of God.

However, we need to be careful to not create madates that God never has.  Our family has our convictions.  Others have theirs.  But I will never expect others to hold our convictions anymore than I want them to hold me to theirs.  If the WORD has madated something, then it is not a personal conviction.  It is a requirement of the Lord.

Sunday I read a scripture in a whole new light.

2 Timothy 4:3
For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires,

It occured to me that perhaps this is why we have so many denominations.  There was division in the first century.  Paul and Peter didn't agree!  But now people don't even bother to line up with one another.  If you don't like what is taught, start another group.  I wonder if this has been done in an attempt at an appearance of unity.  What would happen if people just sat down and read the Word together understanding that coming to an agreement on what the Word SAYS didn't mean a requirement for how they live out that truth. 

I am so sorry to see the constant division over things that are methods rather than the unification over principles.