Aug. 7, 2007 - New Here.
What am I doing here?!
Last week, my husband and I met with the preschool director at our church concerning our 4 year old's class placement issue for this school year.
I don't want to sound negative about preschool, but I have had pangs of guilt for over three years that had to do with putting my children in preschool. I didn't really think preschool was necessary before I had kids. And I didn't really think it was necessary until my oldest was about 2 years, and it was then I started worrying that the arrival of his little sibling would prevent me from giving him the attention he needed in order to grow up to be a well-adjusted human being. Ha. (Writing that now seems so naive.) So we put him in a Christian two-day/half-day program so he could "socialize" with kids his own age and someone else could teach him how to behave in a group setting. I honestly don't know if it was the right thing, but the experience set us on a course of "preschool dependency" (I'll define that another day) until it culminated with our oldest spending 5 mornings a week in a preschool setting before entering kindergarten.
I never felt good about the decision to send him 5 days a week, but it didn't stop me from enrolling his younger brother in two years of half-day private preschool programming. . . and then the combined experiences seemed to have caught me by the heel. I'd been running from my instincts, my intuition (?!?) since 2002. . . But now I think it was God laying it on my heart.
I don't think preschool is evil, but I don't think it's necessarily the best place for my pre-k aged son. . . we'll call him Spike here. Last fall, when he was almost 4, he was enrolled in our church's WEE School. His birthdate is in early November, and he was oddly placed in a class of ALL boys. . . at least three of the boys didn't turn 4. . . well as of this entry, they aren't even 4 yet. So my child was the oldest in this class of ALL boys. It was an experiment created by the director. It turned out to be a failed experiment before the month of October was up last year! Nonetheless, the director continued on, pretending that her experiment was wonderful despite the major behavioural upheavals that prevented the teacher(s) from teaching to the compliant and ready boys in the class. At one point, the director threatened to fire the teacher as she pulled her rug of support from under the teacher's feet. Why? A mom of a behaviourally-challenged boy in the class went over the teacher's head to the director to complain: "She puts my child in time-out too much." Never bothering to ask the teacher about the child's behaviour, reasons for the discipline method, etc.
And because this mom was responsible for "bringing so many families into the WEE School" (the director's words), the teacher's observations and accounts of the child's behaviour were ignored. And so were my child's needs. My child's (and at least three other boys') potential and capabilities were left behind in the wake of one brat's permitted misbehaviour. And to think, I paid $140 a month for such service!
My child learned nothing in preschool. . . except the increased use of vulgar language during the early months of school last year as well as an increased penchant for rebellious behaviour. He talked more about who had to sit in the grumpy chair than what he was learning spiritually or academically.
So I went to the director when registration time rolled around at the beginning of this 2007 year. I wanted to tell her it was important that he be in the class that would challenge him most (as he was beginning to read after being exposed to our kindergarten child's homework and practice). Well, she assured me that he'd be in a particular class with a very experienced teacher, etc. So I felt safe again and signed him up.
By the end of July, I found out he's been placed in a "newly invented" class, he's the oldest child in his class, he will not be learning the same things as the more challenging pre-K class (that includes his friend only 5 days older than him), he's been placed in the class due to class size limits (and the "newly invented" cut-off date for birthdate just happened to be conveniently October 31st). The director, after creating this class mid-registration period, used fancy words like, "The creation of this younger pre-K class will allow us to teach to two distinct developmental age groups," but nevermind my child's capabilities are advanced and the knowledge he's acquired without much help from us would have more than passed the NC kindergarten-readiness assessments! The creation of the class smacks more of "we can make more money this way" than "we really think this is a good thing for these students". (By the way, both the pre-k 5 class, consisting of children born April 2002-October 2002, and the pre-k 4 class, consisting of children born November 2002-December 2002, have students who will all be entering kindergarten at the same time. Well, the December date was supposed to be the cut-off anyways. . . but it's not.
So we went to see the director to politely inquire if we could move him up to the older pre-K class with the teacher I was told he would have. And we wanted to have a look at the curriculum and know exactly what the differences were between the pre-k 5 and pre-k 4 class. And we wanted to know who else was in his class.
"I will tell you right now, I WILL NOT MOVE HIM to the older class," said the stiffened-up director when my husband and I finally (and very politely) got down to brass tacks with her.
Then she read us the class list: first name, last name until she got to the child with behavioural problems. Then she quickly read his first name, leaving his last name off. I said, "Child's first name then his last name?"
Affirmative.
Then I proffered, "But he doesn't make the cut off date you said that students must be in order to be enrolled in the pre-K program?"
The reply was lengthy, teary and had to do with how this child's parents were at the "end of their rope" and she had placed him in that class in hopes it would help him. "And besides," she said, "he's had two months to mature." (I didn't see her in near tears when I told her how the behavioural problems had caused my child and at least three others to be neglected last year.)
Uh, excuse me. I had the child in my VBS class just one month ago, and he came running up behind me to push my backside while I was telling the Bible story AND he grabbed me by the face. Generally disrespectful. The director attempted to make me feel very sorry for the child and his parents as well as trying to make me feel guilty for having a child who didn't have these kinds of challenges. (Why is it that if you have a child who loves to learn, excels, and behaves respectfully, etc. that you are supposed to be almost apologetic and never ever admit that the child might be advanced,etc.?)
She kept saying that she doesn't allow talking about someone else's child, even betwixt teachers from one year to the next. But she kept saying his name even after I told her I would respect that policy and refrain from using names.
This child is NOT the problem. The teachers are not the problem. Even the snottiest of parents aren't the problem
The problem is that my child is not important enough to the program. The curriculum does not meet his needs (very boring, very below-him level of Abeka workbooks), and he was placed in a class based on age cut-off dates instead of his capabilities. She had no clue what his capabilities were as there was no formal assessment done and she didn't offer up his "file" when I asked if parents could look at their child's file and assessments. . .
So here we are.
And I guess I do know why I am here. Because I do know my child better than the preschool, and I can provide him with a better education for the next year. And to top it off, I love being with him.
I love being with all three of my kids, but I just haven't gone so far yet in saying that I will homeschool them all. There's many reasons for this: I have bad morning sickness when I'm pregnant (and would love to have more children), this is our first foray into this homeschooling thing, and my husband is nervous about it too. I have apprehensions and feel led to dip my toe into this homeschooling pool with caution.
I am certain that I plan on keeping my third child (only 9 months) and any other children of mine out of preschool if I can help it. Time with them is so fleeting.
I want to build a strong family unit that glorifies God. And I want to honor the potential He endowed each of the children He has entrusted me with. . .
Comments
Aug. 7, 2007 - Hi!
Posted by OldPathsMom
Just wanted to welcome you to the HSB community! Holler if I can be of any assistance. (not that I'm an expert by any means!) Today was day 1 of K-5 with my twins; I'm exhausted. DD #1 (9yo) has been homeschooled since birth so I guess I do have a little bit of experience to pull from. Have fun and enjoy blogging!
Aug. 8, 2007 - Hi!
Posted by HSBCompanyBlog
Welcome to HSB! Wow, that's quite a story! Your children will do just fine being homeschooled.
Tia Linschied
Senior Editor of HSB
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