• May. 13, 2008 - Autism, the Zoo, and oh my gosh.. I am sorry Angela!
Well, our family ventured to the Toronto Zoo on Saturday. We had originally planned on going Sunday but my husband had to work. I knew it was going to be hard for Sienna because of her autism and her need to know what will happen ahead of time. A week before our trip I checked out some books from the library. They were all about the zoo and I read them over and over to Sienna. We sang songs about the zoo, we played with plastic zoo animals, we did zoo crafts. You name it, we probably did it. Everything was all about animals.
Well, the 3 hour drive was not very fun. Sienna, who hates the van, screamed most of the way there. We were so distracted that we missed the exit and landed in some very strange place full of people who didn't smile, traffic jams, and scary 6 or more lanes of traffic.
Once we found our way and got to the zoo I was very surprised at Sienna's reaction. I was expecting her to enjoy seeing the animals. I had her book with us and I was hoping we could match the animals with the book. She wanted no part of it. It was really hard for me because I really saw Sienna's autism this day. I noticed many other children enjoying the animals, even younger children. I saw 1 year olds pointing to the monkeys and laughing. I didn't see this in my daughter. Sienna is 3 years old and instead of looking at animals she spent the first part of the zoo trip burying her feet in the sand, rubbing gravel on her bare legs, and screaming. As the visit went on Sienna started running around and smashing into people and things. First she threw herself against a pillar, then she'd smash into my husband. From there she would body check me and then each of the kids. Towards the end of the visit the smashing behaviour started to include strangers. It was so so sad. She obviously was in distress and didn't know how to handle anything. Her Sensory Issues were really screaming and she really needed that deep pressure that smashing herself gave her. She didn't actually smash in to any strangers because I spent my time chasing after her and preventing any abusive moments. She was fast and almost hit a baby in a stroller. I did manage to hold her back but she did get one of the baby's cheerios. It was very exhausting and hard for all of us.
This is where the apology comes. I have this very special "sister-like" friend that I wanted to see. I was planning on calling her and hopefully getting together for a short visit. I was so overwhelmed by Sienna and her behaviours that I was unable to call. Angela, I am so so sorry that I didn't call you. I am still dealing with some stuff with Sienna and her therapists, but I will call you on the weekend. I am sorry I worried you.
Ok, back to my story. The entire trip home was hard as well. Sienna didn't want to be in her seat. I had to sit next to her and try to stop her screaming and try to keep her in her seat. Let's say... it was a nightmare trip that i won't be doing again for a long time.
To top it all off, during the visit to the zoo Asia started to have an aura for her seizures. She had gotten overheated and her body just couldn't handle it. The only thing that went well was that on the path where a big yellow sign said, "Brake for Snakes"... which indicated that there were all kinds of snakes slithering around...well... I didn't see any! That is a good thing.
The other kids were so wonderful. They behaved beautifully. They are used to autism and the weirdness it brings into our lives. They were embarrassed with Sienna's behaviours, but they really did fine.
After a great deal of thought and worry about how Sienna did on this zoo trip I learned something. After all of the preparation around this trip I forgot something very important. We had talked all about the animals, the gift shop, the van ride, the food, etc. I forgot to mention the people. People scare Sienna. She doesn't relate well to people and this is usually one thing that most kids with autism have in common. I can't believe that I forgot the people. I think that the people freaked her out so much that her sensory issues kicked in and caused her to behave like that. I am honestly afraid to think about the planned trip we are taking to Disney. How will I ever manage this trip? Thank goodness we have a wonderful respite care worker who will help us, but still.... autism sucks. It really does. I love my daughter SO much, but I really hate this autism. It's almost like I have to learn a new language to just communicate with Sienna. I can only hope that things get easier as she gets older. |
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