Part of what made yesterday a good day was getting another real-world experience of why homeschooling is working for us. [I’m sure nonhomeschoolers must wonder why so many homeschool-bloggers write on this subject. Well, swimming against the tide isn’t easy!]

There was a very interesting study in contrasts among the kids—all girls, mostly ages 7-9. A few kids were very eager to share, had very imaginative observations. Violet and a girl she chose to buddy up with hung in the back, wrote notes to each other, and drew a lot of pictures. The thing is, the two girls are among the best artists of the bunch, and they really were taking it all in. They just weren’t really inclined to share their thoughts or feelings with the group—although Violet did share several of her drawings, and made a very cool one as a thank you for the tour leader when we had to leave.

What struck me was that in a regular classroom setting, Violet and her friend’s style of participating would typically not be valued as highly as the more vocal kids’ participation. Violet was really excited to be there and share her excitement with her one friend, she drew her own stuff as well as interpretations of the pieces they looked at, but she also totally turned her back to the group at times, and when she did have something to say she sometimes wrote it down rather than speaking it aloud. Both the other girl’s dad (a professional artist) and I commented, observing the girls’ actions, that we were glad that homeschooling allowed them to learn in their own ways. (OK, I just have to add that I was really pleased when the dad mentioned that he thought V. drew really really well. Moms need a little maternal pride now and then.)

I also reflected on our experience with school, and teachers’ expectations of gifted students. I would be the first to acknowledge that the kids who were speaking up today are very bright kids. In school I would guess that most teachers would be happy to identify them as gifted. The problem is that my very bright kid doesn’t act like that. She wants to wear a black dress to First Communion, she loves Tim Burton-style art (her friend was drawing “Corpse Bride,” which we have not seen), she’ll speak out if she thinks she can make everyone laugh but won’t raise her hand to answer questions even if she’s sure of the answer. She doesn’t like to be instructed (and will openly say so), and she doesn’t ever like to think out loud. This is not a kid destined to be a teacher’s pet.

For a more academic discussion of which students teachers pick out as gifted, and how highly+ gifted kids respond, see the article Small Poppies on the Davidson website. It was a great article that really helped us understand what Violet was going through as we tried to make school work for her, and when we decided that it probably wouldn’t, at least not now. I love this article, and gave a copy to our old principal (being careful to assure her that we were trying to illuminate our daughter's feelings, not condemn the teachers who see "good kids" as "gifted kids").

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Posted by Mamita

Interesting observations.

I just got an e-mail from dd's foreign language teacher. Apparently her ability to speak another language is great and her sentence structure and vocabulary go far beyond the basics of his class. However, she in a class of children with very basic knowledge and she doesn't want to speak Spanish with them. The teacher also mentions she is shy and looses or forgets to do her homework. (He never sends home a paper of what she is to do like the other teachers so all I can do is ask her. She skipped K and is first grade and is expected to remember because she is gifted. lol) So even though the main purpose of the class is to speak the language (according to his note) she was assessed satisfactory.

Actually, I don't disagree with the assessent but is interesting how he came to the conclusion that a child with more knowlege could be graded lower due to lack of participation which is one of the points you make for homeschool benefits.

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Posted by shaunms

They had a 3 tier system -- Needs Work, Meeting Expectations, Exceeds Expectations. If she worked at grade level, she got a "meeting expectations." However, if she worked above grade level, she also got a "meeting expectations" because they expected her to work above grade level!

Also, a major reason our 1st grade teacher was opposed to any form of acceleration was that V. never remembered her homework folder. (Not that she had to do any of the homework--spelling words, "sight words," value of a dime, etc.) Also V. was very often the last to return from the lunchroom, and the last to get back in from recess, especially if there was lots of winter gear to put away--can't accelerate a kid like that, whatever the tests say!

Oh, I shouldn't get started!

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Posted by Mamita

The grading system is similar.

They have similar expectations for the children as V's class. Was it a gifted class too?

I am beginning to think the expectations are general school expectations since looking over her narrative evaluation card today.

Ami has some similar issues as V. Some issues I have observed at home some have morphed in a classroom setting.

I think we are leaning toward home schooling next year.

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Posted by Mamita

I forgot to say Corpse Bride is one of Ami's favorite movies. She loves Johnny Depp, Danny Elfmen (score) & Tim Burton movies.

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Posted by BarbaraFrank

As someone who was labeled gifted in the early 1960s, when they didn't know what to do with me, I can tell you that I certainly wish homeschooling could have been an option for me at that time. I think your daughter is very fortunate to have you looking out for her.

Thanks for stopping by my blog,
Barb

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