FYI, I am in the process of revamping/updating our homeschool blog.

You can see the work in progress at our new address:

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Time is the theme of the 63rd Carnival of Homeschooling, hosted this week by the Cates of Why Homeschool. So check it out.

Why homeschool? Yesterday I had another reason. I listened to several different friends discuss their school troubles: no school seemed to fit, or their child was always coming home in a bad mood, favorite teachers were leaving schools because it was becoming impossible to teach there . . .

I have genuine sympathy for my friends -- I'm not thinking, "Ha Ha! If you would homeschool like me you wouldn't have these silly problems!" (Well, OK, sometimes I do, but not in these particular cases.)

But I confess I did think, oh, I am so glad my days of battling with the school system are over!

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Comments please:

Following is an article I've written for my MOMS Club newsletter at the request of the current editor, a good friend of mine. I've been in this group for 7 years now, and so far no one has ever homeschooled. My friend thought that people might like the opportunity to learn a little more about homeschooling, so this is what I've come up with. Let me know what you think before I publish it!

When my sister-in-law started homeschooling 12 years ago, it was just another example of the huge gulf between us. She was a stay-at-home, I was working to become a brilliant scholar. I’m sure at some point early in our relationship, I told her, “Good for you for staying at home with your kids—I could never do that.” And like all patient at-home moms, she did not slug me, though she probably wanted to.

And here I am now, not just an at-home mom but a homeschooler (and a part-time independent scholar too, but that’s another article). Having made that long mental trek from “”Hell, no” to “Hey, this is really fun!” I can give you some straight answers to those “questions” people usually ask when what they really mean is, “I could never do that!”

Definitely not! All kinds of people homeschool, and the majority of them seem pretty open-minded to me, no matter where they’re coming from. If you want to be part of an exclusive homeschool community based on your religion, lifestyle, or educational style, there are plenty of specialized support groups out there, but two of the main homeschool groups —Minnesota Homeschoolers Alliance and Early Childhood Homeschooling Opportunities-MN—are truly for everybody.

No more than you require those characteristics to be a parent. If you can get your child off to preschool with her totebag and indoor shoes, if you can remember which day your child has lunch bunch, if you can survive weaning and potty training, you have the skills and stamina to be a homeschooling parent, especially in the early years.

True, you may not remember algebra or chemistry, but your elementary-age child will probably be OK with that. In the meantime, take advantage of the wealth of resources available to homeschoolers, including curriculum designed specifically for the non-expert parent, teaching software, online classes, local co-ops, and more. When it’s time for quadratic equations, you can learn along with your child—if they teach it to 14-year-olds, surely you can figure it out. Or maybe you have a math-savvy friend who would love to barter for babysitting or lessons in Latin or knitting.

Almost no homeschoolers sit down at the kitchen table with their children for 6 hours, with 20-minute breaks for recess and lunch. One of the great things about homeschooling, especially in the elementary ages, is that you can cover the standard curriculum in about 2 hours or less. No getting 25 kids to stop talking or stand in line: schooling one on one takes very little time, meaning that for the rest of your day you can go to the park, send the kids into the yard while you knit, join a family oriented health club, visit family, work part-time . . . And once your child is able to read and follow simple directions, you can take 10 minutes to get him/her started and then go clean the kitchen or fold laundry while s/he works for a while. Learning software can guide even the non-reading child through a 30-minute lesson.

There’s also the time you don’t spend with your kids: the battle to get to school on time; the worn-out whiny time after school; the time you struggle with homework; the time looking for misplaced permission slips, driving forgotten backpacks to school, selling candy and wrapping paper . . . (Although I like the paper, so think of us next fall!)

One last friendly note: You know that annoying sister-in-law you have? The super-busy, super-important corporate type who always looks down her nose at you for being an at-home mom? You know the patronizing way she tells you, “Oh, it’s so great for you to stay home with your kids – I could never do that!” when she really means she could never be content with your dreary life?

Truth is, homeschool moms often hear “I could never do that” in the same way. So the next time you're tempted to say it, consider this: 1) You should probably cut your sister-in-law a little slack, for karma’s sake, and 2) Even if you never choose to homeschool, you can rest assured that if you wanted to, you surely could!

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On Monday, March 5, I celebrate one year of blogging about our homeschool, which means . . .

One year of having Violet home!!

We won't officially have done one year of homeschooling until April, which is when we started "formal" school -- math lessons, Chinese program, etc.

But leaving school is the much more exciting anniversary--the day we woke up and didn't lecture Violet about remembering her homework folder, or about ignoring other kids' bugging her about going to two classrooms, or about finishing her work so the teacher would give her work at a more appropriate level, or about not saying she has to go to the bathroom in order to wander the halls for a few peaceful minutes . . .

I hope I have a minute or two to spare to reflect on the year and try to summarize it a bit, though with all the travel we've done the past few weeks I'm not sure when that will be.

For now, we'll just enjoy the many blessings of homeschool and get back to those Vicious Vikings:

Have I mentioned how much I love Horrible Histories lately? And I wonder where Violet gets her Gothic sensibilities . . .

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Our blog is going on vacation!

Why not visit the 57th Carnival of Homeschooling?

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A little late now, but M. at Trinty Prep School got me curious. For the record, it was English. Close enough.

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

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Despite our overlapping "readership," I'm going to echo Sarah's referral to a bit of homeschool humor.

If you homeschool, you'll appreciate it. If not, at least you may understand why your homeschooling neighbor seems to be concealing a little wince at certain moments in your conversations.

See Fourteen Days of Homeschooling to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas. A sample:

On the fifth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, "YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?"

And the classic How Does a Homeschooler Change a Lightbulb.

That's the kind of homeschooler that makes me want to get in bed with my Sudoku book and hibernate until summer.

Don't we all know at least one?

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You may be amused/disturbed by some of the "expert" musing on the increasing popularity of unschooling, in this article from today's NY Times.

Money quote: “As school choice expands and home-schooling in general grows, this is one of those models that I think the larger public sphere needs to be aware of because the folks who are engaging in these radical forms of school are doing so legally,” said Professor Huerta of Columbia. “If the public and policy makers don’t feel that this is a form of schooling that is producing productive citizens, then people should vote to make changes accordingly.”

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I found a couple of links that I want to check out later, so I'm posting them here, in order to remember them.

Bright Kids at Home, which is specifially about homeschooling gfited kids.

The Homeschool Diner is a general interest site (i.e.. not only gifted homeschool), but its creator is a member of our regional gifted/talented association and its homeschool chapter. She is always adding resources.

Someone recently referred me to this report, which was very interesting in the time I had to skim it. It's the American Academy of Pediatrics clinical report on the importance of play, in particular unstructured play. It's somewhat lengthy, but not exceedingly scholarly despite the intended audience (pediatricians, not laypeople).

I must confess that my children are right now not building block castles or pretending to be dragonflies, but watching this movie:

In general, however, I delight in knowing that homeschooling allows my 7yo to enjoy much more unstructured play time. As we spend more and more time together I not only see just how bright she really is, but I also realize that 7 is still so dang young!

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In honor of National Novel Writing Month, and friends who are participating . . .

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

-- W. Somerset Maugham, quoted in Ralph Daigh, Maybe You Should Write a Book

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We are homeschooling, I swear. I may post some of our work on the Rise of Islam -- mostly to see if I can get any feedback on Violet's "unique" writing style -- or some other relevant topic later in the week. For now, bring on the pictures:

Here is Victoria as a Tiger.

Here is Violet as a Warrior Fairy. A Warrior Fairy wears whatever strikes her fancy, plus a dagger. Not to be confused with

The Warrior Princess.

Please, never let one be mistaken for the other.

Here are sisters admiring each other.

The dagger and jeweled scabbard are both the key and the Achilles' Heel of the Warrior Fairy on Halloween. (Many times did the dagger lose its scabbard before ending up in Mom's coat pocket.)

Flexibility and common sense are required of all Northern trick or treaters -- observe the tiger coat, the sweatshirt that is the color of tiger fur, the orange tiger fur hat, and the paws.

We all pretty much froze, what with the wind chill, but Victoria said after nearly every house something like, "What a nice Halloween," or "This is the best Halloween ever." But I knew it was time to go home when Violet stopped saying "Thank you! Happy Halloween!" and started saying, "My toes are freezing, and my fingers really hurt." (Not that she wanted to skip any houses as we headed back to our own home.)

And now that that's over, Happy All Saints Day.

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Bonus points for any one who identified that reference.

But in fact we went to see Bob Dylan last night.

(Reviews Here and Here.)

Gave me a lot of time to reflect on genius, talent, and the dark side of brilliance -- plus a lot of great music. I love a musician who has a big enough base of songs and musical vocabulary that he can turn a song inside out and play it a completely different way -- without sounding contrived or forced.

I liked it so much I bought my first concert t-shirt in about 10 years!

Otherwise, I spent a lot of the weekend sick in bed. And now we're getting excited for Halloween. I'll have photos of the girls' costumes tomorrow, but til then here they are as pirates.

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Possibly too logical, it appears!

***You Are Incredibly Logical***

Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic You think rationally, clearly, and quickly. A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!

How Logical Are You?

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This must be the Age of the Homeschooler. I can't turn around without finding another great class to sign up for.

Right now Violet has choir practice once a week, piano once a week, church/Sunday school, HS playgroup once a week, and family faith formation once a month.

We also have our nanny, "Mary," 3 afternoons a week, which usually means at least 2 field trips a week: Children's Museum, apple picking, science museum, zoo, etc.

Still on hold we have Girls Scouts, art class, martial arts, gymnastics, and ice skating.

DH and I decided last night that art class is out. It would mean 3 late afternoon/evening things every week, and some weeks 4, Monday thru Thursday. We may try it during the summer, when choir is done.

This summer, too, we need to let Victoria have some fun. She's been jealous of big sister having choir camp and Wonka week and whatnot. Which means more money and more driving and more complicated scheduling!

I had learned that being a stay-at-home mom did not have much to do with staying home, but now I'm seeing that it's just as hard to keep the "home" in homeschool.

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I'm still catching up after the repair of the computer -- still under warranty, hurrah!

If you are a crossword fan who is not easily disturbed by snarky humor and a bewildering array of cultural references from the past 100 years, you should instead go visit my friend's awesome crossword blog:

Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle

I just love it, because it is so my friend in all his brilliant, curmudgeonly, hyperliterate glory. Plus, it's about the NYT crossword.

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It's in the air -- school is starting soon. My devout homeschooler who has repeatedly declared she never wants to go back to "regular" school came to me before bed tonight and told me that she wanted to back to school in the fall.

Why, I wanted to know, obviously.

Her reasons:

1. Fall Festival

OK, we can attend that without actually attending classes, it's a neighborhood event.

2. Cafeteria -- it's fun choosing food.

OK, let's go on picnics with our lunch boxes, packed just like for school. And once a month, we'll go to China Jen for Chinese buffet.

3. Recess

Well geez, we can have recess anywhere.

4. Reading buddies (Assuming we went up to 3rd grade, Violet would get to have one or two Kindergarteners as reading buddies, just like she had in K.)

No good answer -- I've tried to pass off Victoria as a potential reading buddy, but Violet wasn't buying it. So I just said, "Reading buddies are pretty fun, aren't they?"

5. You get to watch plays by the older kids.

Ah, but if you stay home, you might get to try out for our community spring play! Rehearsals run late, but if you homeschool,you can sleep in!

I did finally ask Violet, "But what is the main reason for going to school?

In a defeated voice she said, "To Learn."

"And what did you learn in school last year?" I asked, some what foolishly, as she could have said just about anything.

"Stuff I already knew," she said.

She did decide that if they would let her into 4th or 5th grade (2 or 3 grades up) school might be OK learning-wise, and I told her maybe when she was a bit older we could look into that.

So she seems to have accepted her fate. I'm not too worried -- what she really wants is kids to play with. School just gives her kids to sit next to and argue with anyway.

And from what I could glean in this one conversation, she was a bit relieved to hear that mom and dad would be in charge of making the decision on where to go school.

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From my friend Lynn, webmistress and hostess with the mostest at The New Homemaker . . .

1) ONE HOMESCHOOLING BOOK YOU HAVE ENJOYED

I found Diana Waring's Beyond Survival to be reassuring and hopeful.

2) ONE RESOURCE YOU WOULDN’T BE WITHOUT

Hmm, I do refer to my Well-Trained Mind book a lot, even though we are not really Classical homeschoolers. Otherwise, the Internet.

3) ONE RESOURCE YOU WISH YOU HAD NEVER BOUGHT

Beginners Guide to Homeschooling (I think that's the title, I can't check because it's in the yard sale box.) Totally for traditional school-at-home.

4) ONE RESOURCE YOU ENJOYED LAST YEAR

I have found Rosetta Stone language software to be wonderful and well worth the money! (We're doing Mandarin Chinese, in case you hadn't heard :) )

5) ONE RESOURCE YOU WILL BE USING NEXT YEAR

The art museum. Violet loves art, and I want to take advantage of the great art resources around here.

6) ONE RESOURCE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BUY

Hmmm, maybe a great telescope, for all of us to enjoy.

7) ONE RESOURCE YOU WISH EXISTED

"How to make your daughter doodle less and do more in 10 easy lessons." Either that or "Turning your child into a editorial-cartoonist-prodigy for fun and profit."

8 ) ONE HOMESCHOOLING CATALOGUE YOU ENJOY READING

Prufrock Press, which is a gifted/talented press, not a homeschool catalog.

9) ONE HOMESCHOOLING WEBSITE YOU USE REGULARLY

My homeschool blog, I guess. I have enjoyed "meeting" other homeschool parents with "highly gifted" kids. It helps.

10) TAG FIVE OTHER HOMESCHOOLERS

OK, you guys are it -- Cher Mere, Sarah, Mamita, Maureen, and Melkhi

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I've been intrigued -- and greatly assisted -- by the responses to my Question of the Day. I ought to tattoo it to my forearm: The simple way is the better way.

I was also intrigued that the more forthright suggestions came from the non-Americans. I live in the modest Midwest, so being forthright often feels like its not an option. Where I live, sometimes even asking a question can seem like a criticism. (Which gets me in a lot of trouble, because I love to ask a lot of questions.)

Of course my sampling is very small, but still, it confirms for me yet again that we Midwesterners have a very bizarre brand of politeness. I love it here anyway!

So if I were being forthright, I'd tell people that we homeschool because during the middle of a math lesson on fairly simple word problems my 7-year-old says "Can we please do it the algebra way?" Later she skips off to play Groovy Girls. And still later she is improvising at the piano after practicing for both her regular group lesson and the advanced pieces her teacher has given her to supplement.

Show me a school with that curriculum, and maybe we'll be interested!

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I’m asking homeschoolers to tell me: What do you say when acquaintances ask “Why do you homeschool?”

It’s probably apparent from my satirical post that I get a little frustrated with questions about homeschooling. I don’t mind it from family and friends – actual friends that is, friends whom I would expect to care about me and my family, not just pleasant-enough acquaintances. And I don’t mind it from people who are curious about homeschooling as a possible option for their own families.

It’s just not that easy to talk about homeschooling, especially for a private person like me. I’ve never really thought about why that is so, but one day I was talking to my friend Nicki (who probably once considered me in the category of nosy onlooker into her homeschooling life!), griping about the questions from people I hardly know, and she made it clearer to me.

She said, “In order to tell you about our homeschooling, I’d have to tell you about my marriage, my own education, my husband’s education, my religion . . .” Well, right! I don’t want to get into all that, and the questioner probably doesn’t want me to either! (And I’m sure my husband doesn’t want me to go there . . . ) If we’re lucky someday Nicki will start blogging all her wisdom and I won’t have to try to paraphrase it.

As for the “Why Homeschool” question, it just seems that there’s no satisfactory answer. In the spirit of genuine helpfulness (I assume), most people meet our explanation of why we decided to homeschool with a suggestion for a school we could attend. (We live in a large metro area with many very good public, private, and parochial school choices – magnets, charters, schools for the gifted, classical academies, Montessori, Waldorf, immersion schools in French, German, Spanish, Chinese . . . you name it!)

While I know this is done in kindness and a desire to be sociable, it tends to up the ante. It’s not enough to say, “This is what we chose for us.” When we hear, “Have you considered . . .” “Why don’t you want to try . . .” we then are edged closer and closer to saying something more like, “This is why the thing you suggest is not for us,” which sounds too much like, “This is why what’s good enough for you is not good enough for me,” or “My child is so fabulously special that no school has ever seen her like.” (Which of course is true of all children, in one sense, but in this context it seems to mean "My child is more special than yours.")

I need a pat answer. Not necessarily a complete or even accurate answer, just so long as it’s not a genuinely false answer. An introvert like me needs to come into these conversations prepared with statements that keep the chat friendly but also keeps it from going into uncomfortable territory or making me feel like a CIA agent protecting her secret identity.

I would love to get some suggestions!

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I met a nice mom at the park the other day. As we were talking, I noticed that a school-age girl came up to her. “No school today?” I asked. Imagine my surprise when I learned that she was homeschooled. The mom seemed so normal – I didn’t take her for one of those religious Libertarian nutjobs. I asked all the usual questions, and she answered politely enough, I suppose. As I drifted off to sleep that night, I must have been thinking about that mom and her kids when I started to dream . . .

I was sitting at the same park, watching a playground full of kids of all ages. I was alone – I’d dropped my kids at school and was taking a break from my daily constitutional, sitting on a bench with a bottle of water.

“Which ones are yours?” a friendly mom asked.

I replied, “Oh, mine are in school.”

“Oh, I see,” said the mom, with some hesitation in her voice. “So you . . . send your kids to school?”

“Yes,” I nodded, feeling a bit confused.

“Oh . . . well, more power to you! Boy, I could never do that myself. I just don’t have the right personality to send my kids away all day.”

I guess this was supposed to be some kind of compliment, but it didn’t sound like one.

Some other moms came over, and we chatted more about the nice weather. But eventually the talk came back to school. When another mom heard that I send my kids to school she said, “Oh, and what do you do for socialization?”

“Well . . .” I answered slowly, “I mean they are with other kids . . .”

A third mom interrupted: “But how do they learn to get along in the family? You know, build sibling relationships, spend time with aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. What do you do to give them time with people who aren’t all their same age?”

I was starting to feel a bit defensive. I know the moms were just curious, but still . . .

The first mom piped up again. “And when do they get time to learn to enjoy their own company? You know, entertain themselves, pursue their own interests?”

“Well, there are evenings, weekends – the annual family reunion,” I said, getting a bit irritated. The moms looked at each other knowingly.

Hoping to bring the discussion to a close, I said, “It may not be for everybody, but it’s what works for our family.”

They looked unconvinced but nodded and began to look around the park. There was an awkward silence.

That pushy third mom started in again. “I would just worry that they aren’t learning. I mean, how do you really know if they’re learning what they need to?”

This seemed obvious enough: “There are tests, and the teachers give grades. A for excellent, B for good, C for average -- we get report cards 4 times a year.”

“That’s all?” someone burst out, but before I could respond the first mom put in more gently, “I’m sure you hear a lot more when you talk to the teacher every day, though.”

Wow, these ladies were clueless! “The teacher has 23 students,” I said. “We’re lucky to get a wave at drop off or pick up!” Many moms’ mouths fell open. I recovered quickly. “But the conferences are always helpful – we get those, uh, twice a year, for uh, 20 minutes each . . .” my voice trailed off.

That awkward silence fell again, but I could tell they were going to start a new round of questions. I jumped up to start my walk again as they began shouting them out after me.

“What about family vacations?”

“What happens when your child is above or below grade level?”

“What about The Prom?!”

Just then my husband shook me awake. Phew!

“Honey, you OK?” He asked.

“Just a nightmare,” I said, blinking my eyes to confirm that I was back to reality. “Let’s go back to sleep.”

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