The Lord continuously gives me lessons in patience.  This probable move to TN still has not been made official.  Yes, that drives me nuts.  This week, I’ve tried not to think about it much, but when I know our lives will very likely change dramatically within the next few weeks, I tend to get a little anxious.  I’ve done all that I can (and more than I should) do from home – online research on houses, HS laws, area churches, etc.  I’m afraid to commit to anything over the next couple of weeks because I will likely have to pull out for house hunting trips, etc.  My husband, on the other hand, seems unaffected by the wait.  How does he do that anyway?  Who knows… maybe the move won’t happen at all.  I’m okay with that too.  I just wish I knew one way or the other.

School has been good nonetheless.  Still, the girls know nothing about this possible move.  At the rate things are going, they may never know!  Anywho… I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have a special needs child.  Have you ever beat your head against a wall repeatedly, only to realize many concussions later that it’s no use trying to change a situation that will not change?  Well, with the help of a HS support group on Tuesday night, I see now that I insist on trying to reach Rachel where she cannot be reached.  I keep expecting her to be like me!!  When will she ever get it?  Truth is, God gave me a wonderful child who is my polar opposite – in learning style, tendencies, interests, etc.  I have to learn to embrace our differences and try to see life as she sees it so I can teach her effectively.  Some of this, she really CAN’T control.  Meds may be considered again – but in lower doses and for a limited time only.  After the support meeting Tuesday night, I returned home pretty late and told Rachel I needed to talk to her about some things “tomorrow”.  Of course, she wanted to know what, but I didn’t tell her because I wasn’t sure yet.  Wednesday morning, she asked me what we needed to talk about:

Me: “I haven’t really decided what to say yet”

Rachel:  “Are you thinking about putting me back in public school?”

Me:  “Oh no.  We’re homeschooling for the long haul – through 12^th grade”

Rachel:  “Good, because I wouldn’t want to go back anyway”.

Oh my goodness.  I thought time would stop right then and there!  This was so monumental, I just wanted to call somebody and share it.  It’s such a relief to know that it’s her desire now, and not just ours.  I think this will make my job much easier now.

Rachel’s symptoms, unmedicated (except for the herbal supplements), are starting to look just like in 6^th grade – before the diagnosis.  She takes a tremendous amount of time on school work again – especially now that we’re doing multi-step algebraic equations.  She’s impulsive (blurting out, interrupting), and silly.  She has to be reminded repeatedly to stay on task.  Another strange happening is the way she sways from one extreme to another.  Even in her reasoning, she can’t seem to understand that things don’t have to be all or nothing.  Even when she repeats back what I’ve said, she only sees the black and white…and misses my point completely.  Perhaps I’m the one feeling the symptoms more than anyone.  She doesn’t even seem to realize she has these symptoms.  She thinks everything is great.  She hates the meds, so she really does not want to be back on them.  I just wonder if this is really benefiting her.  It’s slowing her progress, turning off “friends” (and I say that word loosely), and makes it harder for her to stay out of trouble at home.  I’ve made an appt with her doc for Monday.  We’ll discuss options there… and pray about it.

Thanks for listening.  J

• Post A Comment! • Send to a Friend!

Posted by sahmto4orMore

Just checking in to see if y'all have heard anything yet. I'm assuming that you haven't, so
Hang in there!

• Permanent Link