Posted in Home Schooling
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Today, a very good friend of mine called me, quite distressed about her middle son. A little background: Seth is a wonderful 11th grader who has had a very difficult school year. My friend is an assistant principal in SC, and she is quite an advocate for education. He has worked harder than he’s ever had to work this year and struggled all year to maintain passing grades. A couple of months ago, my friend told me herself that she felt he has worked very hard and has tried his best – so much so that she told him not to take his books to a Christian youth retreat in February because he needed a break from all the stress he’d been under. I’ve joined her in prayer for Seth this year. I offered to help in any way I could. I felt so bad for Seth. Today, she told me that Seth will be repeating the 11th grade. Why? He’s repeating because “he’s not going to pass 11th grade English, and it’s a requirement”. I asked her “is this the school's decision or hers?” (because I’m very sure she told me once that a child cannot be held back unless the parents authorized it). I asked her if he’s been told this yet. Seth is an athlete and a very strong Christian influence among other kids in his school – planning to attend a Christian college and become a youth minister. Seth has a younger brother who is one year younger than he, so they’d be in the same grade next year… at the same school. How would this affect him psychologically? Her answer to me was “This was his doing, so he has to deal with the consequences!” I fully respect my friend and her husband and can almost understand her stance on this. I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries so I asked her… ever so gently, “Do you think the benefits will really outweigh the injury this could cause?” She thinks it will. I think this could harm him in an irreparable way. Turns out, he was advised by his guidance counselor to take an advanced English class this year and it has been his greatest source of stress. I proposed that “maybe he was ill-advised”. She explained to me that he was placed in the advanced class because of his English score in last year’s testing. Apparently, children in their district have to take/pass exams each year. I further suggested that obviously the placement process is flawed because of the difficult time he has had this year from the start - despite his "high" score last year. Either the score range is off or the advanced class is too tough. I asked her why he couldn’t re-take it this summer – therefore missing a mission trip and youth camp. Wouldn’t that be “consequence” enough? She said “I don’t want to pay for summer school”. My friend is not as close-minded and selfish as this may sound. She is a fabulous mother and believes in what she’s saying. I think it’s the homeschooler in me that cringes when I hear such harsh words about a child who has tried his hardest and is being made to feel that his best just wasn’t good enough and deserves “consequences”. Too much credence is being placed on grades and test scores. No one seems to be concerned about him. This has infuriated me today, when only a few years ago (before I was enlightened by homeschoolers like you guys), I probably would have agreed with her. It’s so sad how strong that "public school mentality" can be. I just pray they make the right decision regarding Seth. I hope they put his needs above any other motivations they may have. By the way, she supports and completely understands our choice to home school. She just doesn’t see education the way I do anymore. Boy, have I changed! |
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