Tonight at church, we had a special “5^th grade blessing”.  It was very nice.  We honored our 5^th graders who are advancing to the youth group…to the teen years…and to middle school.  Their teachers and youth ministers talked about the “graduating” class, and we (the parents) presented a “blessing” to them.  DH and I (well, mainly I) spent a fairly large part of the weekend writing Sarah’s blessing.  The blessing was supposed to mention her special qualities, our hopes and prayers for her and our advice for her.  There was so much I wanted to say, but I chose to keep it simple for a couple of reasons.  First of all, I didn’t want to embarrass Sarah too much.  I knew it was to be presented before a group of people.  Secondly, it was supposed to be from both parents.  I knew that if I opened up, it would have been obvious that I wrote it.  I wanted Sarah to know (and believe) that it came from us both. 

I wish I had written it as I felt it.  Turned out, the other parents’ blessings were very touching and really let everyone know more about the child.  It also let me know a lot about the parents.  I try not to be discontented, but it’s so hard not to when you see how involved other parents are in their children’s lives…how close they are… and how they pray for their children so fervently.  The letters that were written to the other kids revealed a deep spiritual connection between the kids and their parents – even before the children were born.  They spoke of specific examples that show their leadership, their caring heart, their patience, etc.  Some of them well exceeded the 2 minute time limit, but it didn’t seem like it.  It was obvious that the mothers wrote many of the letters, but as the dads read them, you could hear the sentiment in their voices.  There were lots of tears and lots of tissue used.  Our blessing to Sarah wasn’t as touching, and I somewhat regret it.  Sarah, on the other hand, was glad I didn’t get as mushy as the other parents, but I wish others could know just how unique and just how special Sarah really is.  I don’t feel we did her justice.

My DH doesn’t know the girls nearly as well as I’d like him to.  He doesn’t put forth the time and effort that’s required to know them like I do.  There are so many things they are missing from him – things that they need.  I can’t change that.  Many times, I hold back because I don’t want to “show him up”.  I need to stop doing that.  In fact, I find that I’ve picked up some of his negative habits instead.  He loves them.  There’s no doubt of that.  He just doesn’t do a good job of showing love in the language they (and I) will hear it.  I guess I’ve been more concerned about his feelings than their needs. 

Okay, back to Sarah.  There are times I think maybe I’m being selfish home schooling her.  I think she’d be fine in PS and will excel in that learning environment.  She had no struggles before we began HSing, and she made friends very easily.  She had a natural tendency to lead – even though she wasn’t trying to.  Nowadays, kids need to see good kids at school – kids who are a positive example and who can help other kids see Jesus in their lives.  I wonder if God would use Sarah in that way if she were there.  Something tells me he would.  I wonder if she’d flourish in that environment.  Something tells me she would.  She’s far from perfect, but she really is a wonderful kid with unusual wisdom for her age. 

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Said Rachel to Sarah when I was in the next room bathing Camille, “In five years, I’ll be twenty!”. 

I froze in place – in utter shock – when I heard this.  I 'bout dropped the soap!  Call me “oblivious”, call me “dense”, but I had not thought of that.  Five years will go by so quickly – I need more time to prepare her for her twenties.  I clearly remember her 10^th birthday, and that couldn’t have been more than… what?... a couple of years ago?

Oh my… I’m flabbergasted!

Slow down, sweet child!!!

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Our spring break was great!  The kids had a good time, and DH and I had a much needed break from the daily grind. 

Our first stop was Arkansas.  This was our first time really visiting LR since we moved to TN last summer.  Sarah went to a birthday party on Saturday, then we spent the night and visited our old congregation on Sunday.  It was good coming back.  In some ways, I felt at home, and in others, I felt like a visitor.  I know that sounds strange, but it’s true.  I felt at home in the sense that everything was the same… people surrounded us with hugs and warm greetings... people even sat in the same seats.  Many of the kids have grown taller, and people marveled at how tall Sarah and Camille have gotten.  I felt like a visitor because my mind wandered to the happenings at our current congregation.  I missed our exciting study of Ecclesiastes in Sunday School and our sermon series on the Beatitudes in worship. 

A year ago, I never would have guessed that the relationships I had at my LR congregation would end with our move to TN.  I truly thought those friendships were lasting.  Turns out, despite constant effort on my part, those friendships didn’t go beyond the county line.  Many times, I wonder why and am hurt by it.  I know the distance, in and of itself, cannot be the reason, because my closest friends are both out of state and that hasn’t affected our relationship one bit.  Perhaps the friendships in LR were not as they appeared to be.  Maybe they were only surface-deep to them, when I thought them to be much deeper.  I’m disappointed a little bit, but yet, I'm learning to accept things as they really are.  There just comes a time when you stop trying to cultivate a friendship and let it go…because you can’t do it by yourself.  I’m just so thankful for those close friends I do have, my closest earthly friend – my DH, and most of all my “bestest” friend of all – Jesus Christ.

After Sunday's worship and lunch, our next stop was Independence, MO.  I never knew there was so much history in the KC area!  There were museums galore, monuments, and historic homes… a homeschooler’s dream!!  We visited he Harry S. Truman Presidential Library first (fantastic!), saw many of the beautiful fountains KC has to offer, walked around the Country Club Plaza, visited the beautiful Union Station and Crown Center, swam at the hotel, ate the delicious KC barbecue, did LOTS of sight-seeing, shopped at Legends, and much more.  We had a wonderful time and, quite surprisingly, didn’t want to leave after 5 nights there.  Usually, we’re ready to leave after 3 nights or so.  In fact, we didn’t get to see many sites that we wanted to, so we’ll just have to go back, won’t we? 

Here are a few pictures from our trip:

Art Museum lawn

One of the many fountains of Kansas City

Amazing KC barbecue eaten here!

A Very Interesting Presidency

Ice Cream, Anyone?

Science City - Union Station

More Science City... This was not easy to erect

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This has been a pretty eventful week.  We’re planning to go on vacation next week, so I’ve been doing extra work this week to keep from having to work much during vacation.  Also, Camille has been pretty sick.  She worsened this week with labored breathing, sleepless nights, and coughing.  Now, she’s on several medications – including an antibiotic, asthma medicine, and med w/ a nebulizer.  What a difference a day has made!  She’s feeling pretty good today, so it looks like we’ll still be taking our vacation next week – with a little extra baggage, of course.

Last Saturday, Rachel blew me away with a decision to audition for a part at the local theater.  I must admit that I didn’t take her seriously at first, but decided to let her take the lead in this venture.  The week of the auditions, she still hadn’t called to find out the process, time, requirements, etc.  I told her that she needed to call and ask questions since this was her first time.  She did, but still had very little information.  Rachel is not a notetaker and is not very good about articulating the questions and remembering instructions, so this didn’t surprise me much.  I encouraged her to write down her questions and call back for more clarity.  She didn’t.  She didn’t want my help, and didn’t want me to ask questions.  Needless to say, I was less than positive when I took her last Saturday morning.

The audition had a huge turnout (probably since it was High School Musical 2).  While we waited in line, I encouraged her to go talk to a girl who was standing alone – looking as lost as we were.  :-)  Turned out, the other girl was also named Rachel, was also a homeschooler, and was close to Rachel’s age.  The girls hit it off very well and were inseparable that day.  They were in line together so they tried out in the same group.  They had to sing a song from the movie and learn and perform a dance routine.  Each girl thought the other did very well (parents weren’t allowed in the auditioning).  They’ve kept in touch this week – nervously awaiting the casting results.  Rachel didn’t get a key role or a part in the ensemble.  The other Rachel was chosen for the ensemble.  My Rachel was devastated, to say the least.  You’d have thought she was auditioning for the role of a lifetime – one that she’d prepared for and really counted on.  We worked hard to lift her spirits and remind her that there will be other shows she can try out for.  She didn’t want to congratulate her new friend and she was negative about everybody chosen.  I talked to her about sportsmanship and reminded her that this was her first time auditioning, so the experience will help her next time.  And so on…

I had hoped the experience of going, meeting a new friend, and surviving the fright of singing before other people and judges would have been satisfying to her – whether she got a part or not.  I had hoped she would see all the positives in it.  I guess I expected too much.  She eventually did as I suggested and wrote the other Rachel an email congratulating her.  Now she doesn’t even want to see the play when it runs in August.  *sigh*

This has been a long week.  I’m looking forward to next week’s time off.  My mother has offered to keep the kids while we go away (which would mean driving to my home town) – so I can have a break from it all.  I’m still thinking that over.  DH seems indifferent. *another sigh*

Y’all have a great weekend!

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