I have to take a moment and shamelessly show off my beautiful little girl - #5. 

She is turning into such a little butterball!  After a month on Nutramigen formula she is a happy, healthy, pudgy little baby.  Weaning her at 2 months was not what I had planned, especially not after sucessfully breast feeding 4 previous babies.  But this little one has inherited her daddy's stomach and something in my milk was really making her sick.  We didn't have one feeding where she didn't throw up at least half of her meal.  And yes, I do mean throw up - we would have been THRILLED with spit up, but not from this little girl.  Then there were the tummy aches, constant crying and enough gas to power our house through the winter.  To say she was uncomfortable and we were all miserable was the understatement of the year. 

 Add to that, she just couldn't poo.  Not that she wasn't going poo every day, but she was only going poo every 10-14 days IF I gave her a suppository.  When she did poo, the stench was so bad, I was afraid the nieghbor was going to call the haz mat crew on me.  I tell you all of this only to lay the foundation for one of the funniest stories ever --- I can say that now, after the fact, because in the middle of the catastrophie, TRUST ME, I wasn't laughing!  Let me also preface this by letting you all know, my DH has OCD - but that's a whole other blog of funny for another time.

I had just finished bathing #4 & #5 and gotten them dressed & ready for bed.  Sat down on my bed with #5 in my lap and finished nursing her.  She was all burped and we were settling down to relax for the night.  I can't remember exactly how long it had been since a poo, but it had definately been a while.  How do I know this? Let's see, a baby who doesn't poo for 2 days has 2 days worth of poo in the diaper.  Thererfore, a baby who doesn't poo for a week, has a week's worth of poo.....you get the picture. 

I heard her make a "frog" as we politely call it, but didn't think anything since it usually didn't mean anything.  That's when it hit me - the smell.  I suddenly had a feeling that something was VERY, VERY wrong.   I looked down to see the product of this smell working it's way out of her diaper and up the inside of her onsie and out of her onsie onto me.  I jumped up to try to keep it off of the duvet (yes, I know, what was I thinking since the duvet can be washed while the WHITE carpeting on the floor cannot!!! Go figure) anyhoo, off the bed, OVER the 130lb German Shepherd laying next to the bed and across the room, through the closet and into the bathroom.  Now unknown to me, because at this point I am yelling for #1 to come and help me, DH is freaking out that there is poo on the sheets, poo on the floor and more importantly, POO ON HIS DOG!  So he is grabbing anything he can find to try to wipe the poo off the dog while yelling at me to just get in the shower, baby, clothes and all.  Seriously, I don't think it had occured to him that the result of that would be poo in the shower!  So I layed #5 in her bath hammock in the tub and told #1 to watch her while I figured out where to start.  I had poo from my stomach down to my ankles - UGH!  I got into the shower, clothes and all & cleaned up quickly.  Got out and naked as the day I was born, attempted to wriggle a squirmy baby out a poo filled onsie.  #1 had realized that DH was having an OCD fit over all of the poo everywhere and was laughing hysterically.   Sure, if this isn't an effective form of birth control for her, I don't know what is. 

It took me almost an hour to clean up #5 and myself, another hour to clean up the bed and carpet and part of the next day to clean the bathroom, bathe the dog, re-clean the carpet and do the laundry.  My mother laughed at me for my excitement of daily poos once we finally got #5 on the formula and resolved her tummy troubles.  She now poo's every day, sometimes several times a day and we only have a diaper blow out about once a week.  Somehow she times it to coincide with a library visit or her favorite poo location, Walmart.  DH is only mad because I usually think I am just "running in" and don't take the diaper bag with me, resulting in my carrying a stinky, messy baby through the store as I try to grab things, forget things and race to the check out so I can get to the truck to change her.  You would think that by the third or fourth time I would learn, but nope, not me.  So if you see me racing through Walmart with a suspicious stain on my shirt......you know the drill.