I thought maybe posting about my anxiety about going to the HS meeting tonight might help me to actually make it there.  I've mentioned before how I am afraid to .......no, that's not quite right.  I'm not exactly afraid to leave the house, but I fear being in places of public interaction.  That makes more sense, I guess.  Anywhere that I have to talk and participate.  That pinpoints it better.

I missed church for several weeks because of this.  I missed the last HS meeting.  I avoid signing up for anything now because I know that I will get this huge weight in my chest keeping me home.

My hands have actually been shaking today and I have been very impatient with emme.  I feel guilty because we did not have a good school day.  I was rushing her and not nurturing her enough. 

Em has ballet right now, and then right after that I will drop her off with dh and then go to the hs meeting.  All of these things are within about 2 minutes from my house.  I'm showered, dressed, even have makeup on.  Yet I do not want to leave the house.  I hate this aspect of myself.

Well, I better try and convince myself that I need to go.

Sherry