Jul. 14, 2007
FUNdamentals of Homeschooling Part 1
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"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 When I read this verse, I don't see the word "Fathers" I see "Homeschool Moms" glaring at me. And there is this stirring of conviction because I stand guilty more times than I want to admit. Allow me to elaborate... This past school year was a challenge for me. My oldest daughter, Cora, was 1st grade age so I was excited because it was our first "official" year of homeschooling although we've been at it since she was two. I had a vision early on that I would teach my daughter to read by the time she was 4. God had other plans, however. In spite of using many of the usual homeschool recommendations for reading including Teach your Child in 100 Easy Lessons, The Ordinary Parent’s Guide to Teaching Reading, A Home Start in Reading by Ruth Beechick, Phonics Pathways, Phonics Pyramid, The Writing Road to Reading (Spalding Method), Jumpstart Phonics/Grade 1, Study Dog, Hooked on Phonics, Starfall, and the Leap Frog Series, my daughter just didn't get it. She knew the sounds, she could read some words but she wasn't reading the books I thought she should be able to. I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong. Let me say that there were many days over the past three years that I exasperated her with my task-oriented approach. Afterall, I taught myself to read when I was 5 years old, certainly I should be able to teach my daughter to read with such ease. Why was I so determined to do this? Did I somehow think that reading at age 3 or 4 would guarantee her success in life? If she wasn't reading by 5, would the college admissions officers turn her away? If she wasn't reading by 6 would she EVER read? If she wasn't reading by 7 does that mean I am a failure? Actually, I do think it wasn't about her, it was about me. Homeschoolers tread a very delicate line between self-confidence and self-doubt, especially in the beginning. We have all the right reasons for wanting to homeschool and we are confident that it's the best option for our children. But then come the scoffers, and naysayers, and critics (and most certainly the enemy himself): "You're going to do what?" "You're not a certified teacher!" "What about socialization?" "How will your child get into college?" I'm sure you know the customary remarks from those who have been indoctrinated to believe that what we are doing borders on neglect. So we endeavor to set these lofty goals and aspirations which, when achieved, we believe will prove our point that homeschooling is legitimate and acceptable; thus we are then validated as real educators and good parents. Afterall, the results must mean something. My children's success was inextricably tied to my ego (although I was either in denial or completely oblivious to this reality). Either way, I felt that if my kids could learn Latin in Kindergarten or read at age 3, then it would authenticate my role as a parent-teacher. Further, I would know that I was doing something right in spite of my own shortcomings. And I could have the added satisfaction of thumbing my nose at all those critics. "See here...Look what I can do - I mean my children can do, because of me." Well, God taught me a valuable lesson by not allowing my daughter to read until she was 7.
It's not about me, it's all about Him. He gave me a daughter whose reading ability wasn't going to "click" until much later than I had planned in spite of what I did. I could not solve this problem myself. No matter what I did, it was not working. And the remedy for I-can't-do-this-anymore-itis? Heaping doses of prayer. I was driven to my knees: petitioning for the right technique, the right curriculum, the right way to get this to happen. God, you know, works in His own perfect timing. He waited patiently, requiring me to come to Him day after day for help until I finally "got" it. He allowed me to endure this trial to grow in wisdom. It's not about me! So far, I have gleaned a four-fold purpose from this experience. (1) I was humbled me to the point of knowing that I couldn't do this on my own. (2) I was drawn closer to God, relying on Him to strengthen me in my weakness. (3) I gained wisdom to discern this. (4) I redirected the glory to the One who should have had it in the first place! When I was at the end of my rope, ready to consider public school for my precious daughter because I wasn't sure where all of this effort was leading. God finally gave me a glimpse of what I needed to do. He reveals things in unexpected ways to get our attention sometimes. I randomly came across a tidbit about Laura Ingalls Wilder. I was struck by the fact that she didn't even "learn to read" until she went to school when she was 8 years old. This beloved author of timeless classics was a year older than my daughter is now and yet she left a lasting impression on future generations. It gave me perspective in all this. It doesn't matter what age my child learns to read! Homeschooling gives me the freedom to work on our own timetables, not conformed to some "one size fits all" methodology. We can keep the FUN in fundamentals and she'll get it when she's ready. It won't hinder God's plans for her. God gently reminded that I am not the author of success. The Creator determines the success of His creation. She is fearfully and wonderfully made. He created my daughter for a purpose and He has a plan for her life. He has drawn Cora close to him ever since she was very little. She has grasped in her 7 short years things about God that have taken me over 30 to understand. Cora walks with God and loves Him with all her heart, mind, soul, and strength. I could wax sentimental about all of her beautiful qualities. For so long I was focused on what she wasn't doing, instead of on who she was becoming in Christ. Isn't eternal success what really matters? So, here are my Top 10 FUNdamentals of Homeschooling that I learned this past year: 1. Success is defined by the Creator not the creation. 2. Prayer is the most essential learning tool there is. Use often and in great quantities. 3. It doesn't so much matter WHAT you use as HOW you use it. Any system can work if administered with lots of love and massive amounts of patience. 4. Pushing kids too hard, too fast takes the joy out of homeschooling. 5. Homeschool Mom, don't exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 6. Love your children for how God created them. 7. Step back and enjoy the freedom of homeschooling without pressure to keep up. 8. Remember: There really are no prizes in life for reading when you're 3. 9. Water your precious children with love and affection, let them grow and learn at their own pace and they will blossom in beautiful ways beyond what you could imagine. 10. And don't worry. You are a great teacher for your child, even if she takes 7 years to start reading! May God richly bless you this day, Sherry B |
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Jul. 14, 2007 - Untitled Comment
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