Description
Just learning to be who I am..but still trying to find out who that is.
Love my kids, of which I have 6
Some are now homeschooled, and some are not.
Working, going to school, and trying to be there for everyone and everything.
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Identical Strangers
I am wasting to much time on bejeweled on facebook..but I love it.
I just love facebook.
Especially today, when my brother Frankie added pictures of his little baby online. She is so cute, and its weird to say that she is my niece. Victoria asked me who she was and I said "my brothers daughter"...duh..she is your cousin. Weird huh..
Anyway, its just all about knowing your place.
My place is outside the realm where your niece is not your niece but your brothers daughter.
She is cousin to my daughter, but I think of her as my brothers daughter...
When I think of my hubby's nephew and niece I easily call them MY nephew and nieces..and they aren't even blood relatives. As for blood relatives they are other peoples children. I am sure my "family" thinks of my kids the same way.
I don't think they hold a place in their hearts as their nephew and nieces..how could they?
I know when I see Frankie's baby, my heart melts!!!
But I don't know her and she doesn't know me!!
Its a weird weird thing to wrap your mind around it.
Sometimes I think its just me over thinking things!!
It doesn't sadden me any longer because its like fighting a losing battle.
After reading Identical Strangers, I realize my feelings are more normal than people realize.
Sadly, though, that book made me realize that you need to have the bond of an Identical twin to really bond with your birth family. They bonded together but with no one else. Their birthmother died and they call their biological family.. the Witt family in the acknowledgments..Thanks to the Witt family..not thanks to our family..
I do that sometimes because..well..its all about the realm and being outside of it. |
Posted: 11:10 PM, Sep. 2, 2009 |
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Thanks for the memories
I did something I shouldn't have done. I started reading some reunion blogs. See, I shouldn't have done that because its that time of the month..you know...that time when I get all emotional and stuff.
Well, so I am emotional..but not for the reason you might think. I am totally over this reunion. Not in a bad way, I mean..I finally found a plateau of sorts. I realized that there is nothing more I need from this reunion. Well, I might need lots of things, there is nothing that I am going to get that I need. What a feeling to know that I have surpassed that need or desire or whatever it was. Its a very liberating thing.
I am so grateful for the wonderful people that are in my life on a daily or regular basis. Sigh..its awesome to know that I am surrounded by my family, a wonderful church, a great calling (that I was afraid to take) wonderful youth, and a loving God.
I got to meet my parents and that was an awesome thing. I am not part of them but they are a part of me and I will treasure that knowledge. We might not have much in common but I am glad that I found that we share some little dna and that I might look like so and so and sound like so and so..and that one day I might have a huge problem with my knees. LOL
But, aside from that I realized all I ever needed I had right here.
To quote a little girl searching for something grand herself "THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME"
and you know what Dorothy, you are 100% right. |
Posted: 10:38 PM, Aug. 23, 2009 |
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been busy
I haven't had a chance to stop by and chat for a little while. I have been busy.
Kids started school.
Youth conference (2 days)
school
homeschool
trying to keep house in order
playing bejeweled. = )
drama
and more drama
Yikes!!
Well, my kids have started school. The two that attend school. They are finishing up their 2nd week. We lost bus service to our area (charter school) so we car pool to the nearest bus stop. We have to meet up at 5:55 am and then a parent takes them to the bus stop. Same thing in reverse for pick up. Last night we went to jersey night. The kids have to earn their uniform t shirt..and last night they received it. It was lots of fun. I am proud that my kids attend that school. I don't think I would have sent them anywhere else. I still want to homeschool them..but I am not. I homeschool my other kids but will probably send them when they are middle school age. I have one home that is middle school age, but does not attend the school.
My new calling as Young Woman's counselor is great fun. We had our youth conference a couple of weekends ago. It was so awesome. The kids went to the temple in the am and then we went to Paradise Canyon by the river.
The next day was full of classes. I would have loved to attend them. But I was helping with the lunch etc.
The dance was last, but by that time I had to leave. Great fun was had by all. It was my oldest last youth conference and Patrick's first.
School is going well. Three more classes and I should be done. Next step might be a Masters..not sure yet.
Homeschool..working on Greek and Latin..or at least trying to.
House work-never ending..next topic
Drama...
Oh my the drama. Might need a whole different blog post for that. Gotta get the facts in order. Well, not so much the facts but the she said she said. LOL
And finally, bejeweled...addicted to it. Can't help it..itching to play it. LOL
Stopped couponing, started up again. Got some good deals that I posted on facebook.
other than that...life is good. |
Posted: 1:55 PM, Aug. 21, 2009 |
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Young Women
I enjoyed the lesson Sunday, that I gave to the young women. It was on "studying the scriptures".
I wanted to instill the love and necessity of reading the scriptures, and pondering them. I also mentioned my favorite scriptues that have helped me..Proverbs 31.
I was hoping to have them understand that the scriptues are there as a guide as a light to a rightous life. I hope something got to them.
its so hard to be a teenage girl now. I am not sure how I did, but again, I hope something stuck.
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Posted: 8:55 AM, Aug. 10, 2009 |
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House of order..
That has been weighing heavily on my mind..Well, it usually does, but I am not much for order. But lately, I have had a heavy weight on my mind concerning that scripture.
“Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (
D&C 88:119
).
I sometimes feel overwhelmed with all that is required of me...especially the spiritual guidance of my family.
I want to make sure they are well prepared for all that comes their way.
I want to do all that is required of me. There is much..and part of that is the order of this house.
I need to establish the house of prayer..Having morning and evening prayer..is a start
I need a house of fasting..hard for me.
I need a house of faith..trying, trying so hard.
I need a house of learniing..trying as well.
I need a house of glory..at a loss.
I need a house of order..thats where I am overwhelmed.
trying to use these few hours in a day to homeschool, clean, organize, school, cooking, reading to the kids, preparing every needful thing...
I need order.
Today was good..a start. I worked on scripture mastery, greek, latin, math and worked with Samuel. We read scriptures twice, and I read about 5 bed time stories. Cooked, made bread (bread machine) and laundry. A good start!! I don't have problems with starting, its maintaining that I have problems.
I went to Lowes and walked around, wondering how to find time to make my house a house of order...If I only had to do one thing..I might be able to do it..
But I am going to try. |
Posted: 11:45 PM, Aug. 3, 2009 |
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