The High Plains of Western Texas

The girls’ hair has been responding poorly to the changing water type, a little pool chlorine now and then, and hot windy desert days.  It is not uncommon to spend a half hour or more on each girl per day dealing with accumulated knots.  Neither frequent brushing nor bedtime braiding has alleviated the problem; certain hair types attract knots. 

In the past, (pre-southern climate days), when the knots were fewer, it was easier to stay on top of the situation, but now as we travel miles and more miles, visit, counsel, and squeeze every minute out of life, bad weather days have exacerbated bad hair mornings and it is easy to miss or let slide a big knot. Knots left untended gather stray hairs, and suck them into the bigger mess. This week, when I noticed that two terrible knot patches lay hidden in the long, thick hair of a pony tail, I wasn’t surprised.  It looked like a job for scissors.

Forty minutes into untangling a colossal bird’s nest, I used the opportunity to explain life’s knots to the children.  Knots take patience, I explained.  They are a lot like knotted relationships. When there is an accumulation of small conflicts in a relationship, some of which have been hidden under the surface, the conflicts and disappointments tend to attract more disappointments and hurts. 

You can cut out conflict-unraveling with a quick snip, often with disastrous, unsightly results, or you can methodically, determinately, with patience and perseverance, lots of tenderness and gentleness, careful prayerful analysis, love and consistency, approach the knot a little at a time, working in from the edges, eliminating the side-issue knots until only the core knot remains. 

Just like a hair knot, in a relationship glitch, the caring, methodical removal of peripheral issues diminishes tension in the core.  I told the children that listening, smiling, and talking until there is understanding with all the little issues makes the big issue (the chunk in the middle of the complex knot) so much easier to eliminate. 

You can’t rip at the complex core of bushy overgrown knots with a brush or a comb or in relationships, with an insistence on harmony or a blame-filled lecture that these little issues should never have been allowed to accumulate.

We probably covered the essence of these thoughts in a couple of short observations and comments;  it was mostly a review for all of us reinforcing the relationship skills that only take root precept-upon-precept.

• Post A Comment! • Send to a Friend!

Posted by PreschoolersandPeace

...whom I get to see in a few short days! Yippee!

Now, I know the whole point of this post was the knots in life, but a word on those yucky hair knots- I put a little bit of conditioner (maybe a tablespoon?) in a spray bottle and fill it with water. It works like tangle spray, only cheaper. And then at night I braid Ab's hair and that keeps the knots out. As for C and Annes, they have been bobbed :) Lots less tangles that way.

Em and Ib have such gorgeous hair, though, a bob would be a shame.

SEE YOU SOON! HOORAY, HOORAY, HOORAY!!!

And I LOVE that you are blogging :)

Kenj

• Permanent Link