Aug. 13, 2008 - New Blog!!!
Hey everyone!
Please visit my new blog at www.fabulousstroffe.com!!!!
No more new updates here!
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Aug. 11, 2008 - Burning my hand with butter, USA Women's Gymnastics Qualigying Showing, and Good times at VBS
Did anyone watch the USA Women's gymnastics' team qualifying debut last night? They weren't doing so well, unfortunately. Two of the gymnasts got ankle injuries right before so they were only able to compete on the bars. There were three steps out of bound in the floor routines, and then two falls off the bars as well as Nastia's scary tumble on her landing. The beam, though, was awesome. Our girls rocked it out! As usual, Shawn Johnson was the rock she usually is with no issues and her always there smile. If you heard there team meeting afterwards, though, it seemed like everyone was taking the whole thing in stride and it was actually really funny to listen to them talk! Make sure to watch on Tuesday night for the team finals. Hopefully, they'll have finished all their damage control from last night, and they'll have a really good showing against the Chinese.
This morning was our first morning at VBS. It went so much better than I expected-especially with only 12 people. We divided them into 6 teams of 2 each, and it seemed to work out really well. All of the competitions went smoothly, and the best part was watching everyone compete in trying to make peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches the fastest. Boy, I didn't think it should be that hard. But, the bocce ball was a riot to watch!
Today I'm working on organizing our figure skating program for this fall.
And cleaning my room.
And calling about a job...
so, lots of new and exciting stuff going on..
Comment and keep me posted on you!
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Aug. 10, 2008 - Running home in the rain
I highly recommend trying it sometime.
You see, yesterday, I went to a graduation party. I walked
It didn't look like rain.
And it wasn't supposed to rain until much later.
About three hours into it, it started getting cloudy, and I thought..."Maybe I should get going."
I started walking home.
Half way home, the skies opened up and it started to downpour.
It was either-turn back and be soaked in front of everyone at the party or go home and be soaked once I got there.
I thought maybe it would be better to show up at home with all my clothes dripping wet, my hair dripping, and my mascara/eyeliner running.
So, yeah... I could wring out my clothes and fill a pool by the time I got home. It was like I jumped in a swimming pool with my clothes on.
It was so much fun...
and I highly suggest it! =)
So, if it rains again... get outside. =)
You might just get a storybook ending out of it too....
(that's a quote from Chelsea...don't ask what it means.)
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Aug. 8, 2008 - It feels like winter, Prince Caspian round two, and my kitchen smells like mint brownies...
My sister and I along with our friend Alaina went to see Prince Caspian at the dollar theater today. Yup, that's right... only $2 bucks to see one of the greatest movies of all times. I have to admit, it was pretty fun to see it a second time and even better because I was gripping my seat in nervousness the whole time as I was on May 16th when it first came out.
I just came back from a week at Kingdom Bound, and over all...well, it was pretty good. The best part was by far seeing Vicky Beeching at the worship tent. What a sweet time that was. I highly recommend checking out her blog at www.vickybeeching.com and also check out her songs on iTunes. My favorites would have to be "At All Times", "Come Join the Song", and "No One Like Our God". She has many other good ones though. She shared a great story of her travels from England, and overall, I was just so challenged, encouraged, and ministered to through her. What an honor and blessing.
Right now, my kitchen smells like mint brownies... have you ever seen those? They are a PIllsbury thing... I found them for 99 cents at Wegmans two weeks back when I took Chelsea for a tour. I had to get a package. Well, the brownies themselves taste kind of minty, and then when you pull them out of the oven, you also get to drizzle them with mint stuff. It seems pretty good. I am taking them to our church's worship night tonight for everyone to try out-so hopefully they aren't really disgusting or deadly or anything.
Monday I find out about the job situation. Please keep that in prayer. The other doors have shut, but new ones also have been opened in places I never expected. I am excited to see how things work.
Please keep my 15 year old cousin, Bethany, in your prayers. She had surgery this week to place a pole in her back because of scoliosis. She is on the mend, but pray for her comfort and strength and continued healthy recovery.
Well, this is all for now...
Have a great weekend!
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Aug. 2, 2008 - 2 Samuel 22
1And David spake unto the LORD the words of this song in the day that the LORD had delivered him out of the hand of all his enemies, and out of the hand of Saul:
2And he said, The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
3The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence.
4I will call on the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.
5When the waves of death compassed me, the floods of ungodly men made me afraid;
6The sorrows of hell compassed me about; the snares of death prevented me;
7In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears.
8Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations of heaven moved and shook, because he was wroth.
9There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it.
10He bowed the heavens also, and came down; and darkness was under his feet.
11And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly: and he was seen upon the wings of the wind.
12And he made darkness pavilions round about him, dark waters, and thick clouds of the skies.
13Through the brightness before him were coals of fire kindled.
14The LORD thundered from heaven, and the most High uttered his voice.
15And he sent out arrows, and scattered them; lightning, and discomfited them.
16And the channels of the sea appeared, the foundations of the world were discovered, at the rebuking of the LORD, at the blast of the breath of his nostrils.
17He sent from above, he took me; he drew me out of many waters;
18He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them that hated me: for they were too strong for me.
19They prevented me in the day of my calamity: but the LORD was my stay.
20He brought me forth also into a large place: he delivered me, because he delighted in me.
21The LORD rewarded me according to my righteousness: according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me.
22For I have kept the ways of the LORD, and have not wickedly departed from my God.
23For all his judgments were before me: and as for his statutes, I did not depart from them.
24I was also upright before him, and have kept myself from mine iniquity.
25Therefore the LORD hath recompensed me according to my righteousness; according to my cleanness in his eye sight.
26With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful, and with the upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright.
27With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself unsavoury.
28And the afflicted people thou wilt save: but thine eyes are upon the haughty, that thou mayest bring them down.
29For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness.
30For by thee I have run through a troop: by my God have I leaped over a wall.
31As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.
32For who is God, save the LORD? and who is a rock, save our God?
33God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.
34He maketh my feet like hinds' feet: and setteth me upon my high places.
35He teacheth my hands to war; so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms.
36Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy gentleness hath made me great.
37Thou hast enlarged my steps under me; so that my feet did not slip.
38I have pursued mine enemies, and destroyed them; and turned not again until I had consumed them.
39And I have consumed them, and wounded them, that they could not arise: yea, they are fallen under my feet.
40For thou hast girded me with strength to battle: them that rose up against me hast thou subdued under me.
41Thou hast also given me the necks of mine enemies, that I might destroy them that hate me.
42They looked, but there was none to save; even unto the LORD, but he answered them not.
43Then did I beat them as small as the dust of the earth, I did stamp them as the mire of the street, and did spread them abroad.
44Thou also hast delivered me from the strivings of my people, thou hast kept me to be head of the heathen: a people which I knew not shall serve me.
45Strangers shall submit themselves unto me: as soon as they hear, they shall be obedient unto me.
46Strangers shall fade away, and they shall be afraid out of their close places.
47The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and exalted be the God of the rock of my salvation.
48It is God that avengeth me, and that bringeth down the people under me.
49And that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high above them that rose up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man.
50Therefore I will give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and I will sing praises unto thy name.
51He is the tower of salvation for his king: and sheweth mercy to his anointed, unto David, and to his seed for evermore.
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Jul. 27, 2008 - A Hard Day on The Courts
I've been home now for three full days.
I got home on Thursday at 3:30 to a completely silent house. No one was home. No one to welcome me. So what did I do? I opened all my mail and tried to stop my shaking hands. Then I just walked around the house looking at every room and everything and balled my eyes out. And then I cried for a bit longer. I played the piano and cried some more. After that, I figured I should be productive until my dad got home so I did some computer stuff and carried my luggage up to my bedroom. When he got home, we went out for dinner and that was nice.
Friday I had to be out of the house. I left early at 9:30, picked up Chelsea in Webster, went to Tiffany's house to see her and meet baby Elijah (ADORABLE by the way!), and then to Super Wegmans for Chelsea to see, back to the house Chels is staying at, and then to put in a job application and then I surprised the Blakes. I didn't get home until 5. The day helped keep my mind engaged, but the loneliness sunk in again the moment I got home. I didn't feel like doing anything. I worked on some stuff until I could take it no longer at 8:30, and then I veged in front of the TV, and then talked to Chels for about 10 minutes around 10 PM.
Yesterday I was kept busy with worship practice and a graduation party. That was nice.
And here I am... wow, it's almost 4 on Sunday afternoon. I want today to be over. I don't know why. It's not like anything is going to change tomorrow. In fact, tomorrow might even be more boring and lonely than today.
Today has been one of the worst emotional battles yet. Don't ask me why, I just know it has been. It was hard to get out of bed this morning, it was hard to go to church and talk to people, it was hard to go play tennis...
I am sorry for being so pessimistic. I know the Lord is good and He is faithful and He is the great Comforter. But, the truth is-life hurts right now. Yes, He'll be working through my hurt and in my hurt. Yes, my character and prayer life and walk with Him will be strengthened and matured. Yes, I will come out of this stronger. But right now, it hurts.
And we haven't even said our official goodbye yet...
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Jul. 21, 2008 - I Don't Wanna Say Goodbye... Ever
Today has been a fabulous day.
But time has raced much too fast.
We hauled out the bedroom...
made it look all spiffy and clean.
I guess I kinda left my mark here on this room...
I had no idea.
We hauled everything... and everywhere were letters from me, pictures of me, cards from me, etc... Mrs. Stearns hit it right on the head when she said, "Even when you aren't here in person, you're still here."
It made me think of my own room, where Chelsea permeates every square inch.
We had a grand time...
I love to organize.
The closet looks great.
So does the shelf and the vanity and the dresser...
In these last 24 hours, I feel also I have learned more about Chelsea than I have in a long time... it's like a whole new world of Chelsea. I won't say all I've discovered, but needless to say it's been fun.
The Lord has been so good...so gracious.
But here we are at 5:13 on Monday afternoon already.
We leave at 6 AM on Wednesday.
By Thursday night, I'll be saying adios to Chelsea as I carrying my luggage back to my bedroom (my bedroom in my house in Rochester, NY!) and saying goodbye as Chelsea's minivan departs from my driveway.
It'll be all over.
My whole summer in Missouri.
Six weeks.
It'll be all over.
After we finished cleaning today, we sat on the bed with two spoons and a can of chocolate frosting, and just enjoyed smiling at each other..
In four days, it'll be all over.
I hate this.
You don't even understand how much I hate this.
I totally and completely and utterly hate this.
I don't wanna say goodbye...
ever and ever and ever.
I don't wanna say goodbye.
I am tempted to say, "God, I cannot do this again."
But, I know somehow with His grace I will survive.
I always do.
But I don't wanna say goodbye.
Please, if I could just not have to say goodbye...
Oh... the time ticks away.
Tonight, Chels is babysitting...
Sonora and I will stay behind and wash the car in preparation for the trip; I'll finish the laundry and put the sheets back on the bed.
I'll go to the library and get our final movie--Sense and Sensibility.
Tomorrow, we'll wake up one last time and get to spend some time in bed before we move.
We'll shower.
we'll make a scavanger hunt for the car.
Pack our suitcases.
Pack everything up.
Return to piano.
Maybe see Caity again.
Play tennis one more time.
Go to bed.
Pray.
Sleep.
Get up at 5 AM...
and say goodbye to a summer in Missouri.,
I don't wanna say goodbye ever...
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Jul. 19, 2008 - As The Days Go By....
This past week, I cannot think that we did anything particularly exciting. In fact, this last week was so crazy... with Mr. and Mrs. Stearns out of town for two days, we were left in charge of the house and kids. It would've been all right, except that we ended up working on a farm all day Wednesday, and we were gone from 8:30-5; that just left everyone a mess.
Tuesday was a good day... Chels and I had our pictures taken by our dear friend Caity here... we had a lot of fun, and the pictures turned out fabulously. Lord willing, they'll be ready by the time we leave on Wednesday.
Thursday, we went to the Freeman's house for dinner and games, and I got to ride a horse for the very first time ever! It was so awesome... and I want to do it again and again and again! It was so much fun. We also played hide and seek like little kids...=) and then a rousing game of Uno and Twister. It was much fun, quite enjoyable, and even better to see Mr. and Mrs. Stearns when we arrived home at 9:30-all tired and completely worn out.
Yesterday, Chels and I wanted to get out of the house so after we practiced worship for Sunday, we went to Walmart, bought some food and printed pictures, and then we went to the park and had a picnic together. It was a peaceful, enjoyable, and greatly conversational two hours. It was a sweet time, praise the Lord. Then we came home, and turned around and when back to the same park to go swimming with the kids. Last night, we made pudding parfaits for dinner dessert, and we attempted to make whipped cream-but the cream didn't seem to be heavy enough, so it didn't work out real well. After that, around 8, me and Chelsea went for a walk... it must have been 3 miles or so. We didn't get back until 9. I thought the dog was going to die... it was such a long walk, and poor Lily was convulsing when we got home because she was so tired! =) but, she is fine now.
Today, Chels and Jonny are working for the last time (Jonny forever and Chels until September), and everyone else went off to an auction. I stayed back as I only got out of bed a half hour before they left, and I was in need of some serious quiet time with the Lord and some quiet time in general. There isn't a lot of quiet in this house, at least compared to mine. At first, it really didn't bother me, but now it's getting harder with the amount of noise here. But, that's okay.
Tomorrow will be fun...we have church, we get to do worship together for the last time (sad morning it'll be...); and then we have a party at the Bale's farm to go to. Monday and Tuesday are going to be insane. We have our last minute shopping for New York, scrubbing the house top to bottom, packing all our stuff, and loading everything for 6 people into the minivan. Wednesday, we plan to leave at 6 in the morning and drive ten hours to just north of Columbia, OH where we will stay for the night in a nice hotel with a indoor swimming pool! =) And then up again on Thursday to drive 7 more hours to home... home...
I am both way looking forward to it and dreading it all at the same time...
And I am quite bummed because my mom and sister are leaving for Arizona on Wednesday, so even though I'll be home on Thursday, I won't see them until the following Tuesday.
Well, I think this is all...please pray for us all here, for the Lord's peace and for strength and for grace... and for comfort for me and Chels, because we both dread this goodbye as always.
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Jul. 11, 2008 - I Will Wait
Yes, I have been getting that message for a while now. That whole waiting thing... but this morning, I finally got it. I get it now. I understand to what situation it applies and the importance it has in my life right now. What a freeing, wonderful moment... to know what the Lord is speaking personally to me! And, it leaves me with such assurance-filling me with peace even though I don't see anything happening right now and even though I have been called to wait on the Lord.
I realized this morning as I was reading Isaiah 30:18-AGAIN-where it says The Lord will wait that He may be gracious to me and that He may be exalted. I was writing in my notebook, realizing that without waiting there needs be no prayer; without waiting, there is no faith required. And without waiting, there is hardly an opportunity for the Lord to be wholly exalted and glorified. And so, even though this waiting may be hard, and may be hurting at times, I will wait..yes I will wait, that the Lord may be exalted.
I think of a song I have grown to love playing lately.
I Will Wait
I will wait, I will wait for You
I will wait, I will wait for You
When my heart is troubled
And when my bones are aching
I will wait, I will wait for You
It's all that I can do
It's all that I can do
It's all that I can do
To wait on you, to wait for you
I will hope, I will hope in You
I will hope, I will hope in You
When my heart is breaking
Faithful and true are You
I will hope, I will hope in You
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Jul. 5, 2008 - The Things That I Miss
1) My sister
2) My father
3) My mother
4) My piano
5) My bedroom
6) Super Wegmans
7) Ice skating rink
8) Barnard park
9) Spressie
10) Woody
11) Quietness
12) Church
13) College Bible study
14) Becky
15) Rachael and Bethy
16) Cooking in my kitchen
17) The pool
18) My family's dinner table conversations
19) Gerwitz inside jokes
20) Rochester weather
21) Starbucks
22) A close mall
23) speed limits above 30 mph
24) a shower with amazing water pressure
25) Mrs. Voigt
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Jul. 4, 2008 - Happy Fourth!
"For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry wait for it: because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Habakkuk 2:3.
This is the fourth time in the last three weeks I have received this verse in various places.
And then, He again gave me Isaiah 30:18-
"And therefore will the Lord wait, that He may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted that He may have mercy upon you: for the Lord is a God of judgement. Blessed are all they that wait for Him." Isaiah 30:18
This is the eighth time of receiving this verse since June 12.
Everytime I think God is done with these verses... they come again. I can't open up anything without getting these verses somewhere and somehow. It's very clear that God is speaking to me... and while I understand the concept of these verses, I suppose I am having a difficult time pinpointing exactly which situation they apply to, although I have my guess...
It's just so awesome... to continually be blown away by the Lord... to have to power of His speaking voice so consistently and constantly in my life. Praise Him!
Have a blessed holiday!
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Jun. 30, 2008 - Feeling All Grown Up
I was babysitting on Friday night, and you're never gonna believe what happened. After the kids were in bed, I sat down with a book, turned to the second page and what did I find? ISAIAH 30:21.... AGAIN. That's round six. It just won't stop! =)
Yesterday, I had a really homesick day. I just wanted to go home... but, it passed by the end of the day, and I was glad. I would hate to feel that way for the next four weeks! =)
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Jun. 26, 2008 - Wait
Please pray with me that I would wait both joyfully and productively, as my mom and Chelsea have reminded me in the last few days.
I received the verses Isaiah 30:18-21 again this morning-this is the fifth time since the twelfth of June. I cannot even explain it, but it is so incredible when the Lord speaks to you. It's so incredible to be in His Word, and hearing His voice, and being intimate with Him. It's so awesome to be walking in His light and having His will worked out in my life.
The Lord has certainly gone above and beyond my expectations for my trip here to Missouri. I've been here only 12 days, but so much has happened. I mean, most of it has been personally, spiritual matters-but those are big things. I needed this time here more than I thought I did. Praise Him.
In other news, on Tuesday, Chelsea and I went fishing with some friends from church. I caught the one and only fish, which was pretty exciting-considering I am certainly not a fisher and I have no done it since I was perhaps nine! We had a really good time, though, and then we did some sight seeing around the area-seeing a whole bunch of beautiful nature and God's creation!
Mrs. Stearns left for Tennessee yesterday morning, so we took the kids to the Y yesterday to go swimming. Last night, there was Bible study. One of the families from church hosts it, and their cat just had a litter of kittens. There are only two left, and I claimed one for the whole night. I didn't put it down all through Bible study (it conked out on top of my Bible, so I couldn't see the verses!), and then afterwards, Chelsea, I, and Caity (girl from church whom we went fishing with and whose house the Bible study was at) went for a two mile walk-and I held the cat the whole time! I wanted to take it home-they even said I could, but I don't think I would have an easy time of convincing my parents to let me bring a kitten home.
This morning, I did school with Sonora-we've been working on her spelling words a lot. She failed her test last week, and so far, this week isn't looking so good. So, we went through the list several times today on top of some math, english, and a piano lesson. I am hoping she does well on the test tomorrow. Chelsea is working today, so I'm holding the fort down here... it's been a very quiet, no-nonsense, easy day. I'm quite enjoying it. Right now, the kids are out in the dining room with Jonny having a good time.
Tonight, Chels and I might go over to Caity's house again. That would be sweet, and I am hoping that we can.
Well, this is all for now!
Have a wonderful day blessed by the richness and strength of our Lord!!! =)
PS: If you get the chance, you should check out the book "Edge of Eternity" by Randy Alcorn. It's pretty good!
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Jun. 20, 2008 - A Cornucopia of Varitable Flavors Exploding on Your Tongue
Ha ha... that line was something Mr. Stearns taught me while we were enjoying the delicacies and delights of Braum's ice cream the other night. (Shh...don't tell Gabe and Sonora. They were at VBS at missed out...); It probably was one of those "had to be there" moments, but I found it so incredibly funny that I wanted to use it on my blog as a title.
We've had some fun days here... not anything super exciting. But, yeah-it's been cool. Yesterday-wow, what did we do yesterday? I cannot even remember. Oh, I know we went to the library again to get a movie to watch last night. And we picked Jonny up from work. And then made cookies after dinner and watched a movie.
Really, it's so weird for me... like, I have no schedule. My whole schedule consists of "I need to write". That's it... it's like, I have no where to go. I get out of this house by taking Chelsea and Jonny to work in the van... It's so different for me. I am used to running here and having a schedule, schedule, schedule-this is actually HARD for me. I don't feel like I am doing anything. I cannot even tell you what we did yesterday, because it wasn't like we actually DID ANYTHING super important. I guess this is cool...you know, lazy days with my best friend, but it's certainly not what I am used to.
This is an incredibly boring entry... let me write about something meaningful.
There is so much right now I am seeking the Lord about, and I have to admit, it's growing harder by the day. I am waiting for answers, trying to hear God's answers and not mine-The Lord has been so faithful in giving me the words I need each day, but I have to be honest and say I do grow impatient sometimes when I don't get what I want, but just what I need.
I am super excited just to see what he does, where He leads, and what He speaks. I pray I would endeavor to continue to be captivated with Him, and hear HIM-oh, how I need to hear His voice. That it would penetrate the very depths of my soul... that He would touch every single part of me.
He's working in me...
He's making me dream...
He's increasing my faith...
He's causing me to run to Him more and more...
He's making me love Him more... I am so glad I can never love Jesus too much!!! =)
God is so good...
I pray, you my readers, would choose to take time to be captivated by our Lord today. You will be blessed...you will not need your money back. God gives exactly what He promises and more...way more than our expectations. Seek Him, know Him, grow in Him.... and be washed in His love. Oh, you will never be the same...
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Jun. 16, 2008 - Here in Missouri
My flights went well-no complications, and actually, I got in four hours early because the airlines chopped out a second connection flight in the middle. It was wonderful. Saturday was a very lazy day-a day of lying around and catching up. Chelsea and I went down to the park and played tennis in the blazing 90 degree heat, and then we came home and ran through the sprinkler with Sonora like a bunch of little girls! It was a lot of fun.
Sunday was good-church and then we went to this Messianic Jewish teaching about Pentacost. It was pretty cool. Then we picked up Chelsea and Jonny from work and came home and rested a bit. Then we had Father's Day dinner-steak on the girl, corn on the cob, red potatoes with mint, and bread...and then apple pie for dessert. We did the gifts and cards for Mr. Stearns, and then I watched an hour of Tweety and Selvester Cartoons with Sonora (which she is conveniently watching again right now...) and then me and Chelsea did some serious talking. (got to love it), and then we watched the last two minutes of the basketball game between the Lakers and Celtics which the Lakers won, meaning the games aren't over yet.
Last night, we were supposed to get really bad weather here, like tornado warnings and horrible thunderstorms and baseball sized hail. The weather radio was going off a lot, and the tvs kept cutting out of normal programming for the weather broadcast. It was supposed to hit here between midnight and four in the morning, like continously. So, I prepared myself for a long night up, maybe even being called into the living room with the family if there was a tornado warning. But, there was nothing. That's right-NADA-not a hint of anything. No rain, no wind, no thunder, no lightning, nothing.... what a let down! =)
Today, me and Chelsea went to a basket weaving class, which was a lot of fun. It was a small group, just six of us, and it was so sweet. We actually made a very large basket! I was thrilled! The lady who hosted it, Cindy, was the sweetest thing. I hope to go visit her again in these six weeks.
If you are a reader, I need you to pray for me for some unmentionable prayer requests... just that my heart would be open to hearing what the Lord has to speak. Also, that I would be totally willing to accept whatever He has to speak...
Hope all is well! leave comments and email me!!! =)
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Jun. 12, 2008 - anxious worries and on edge excitement
Tonight is the end of the year piano recital with my students. This is it too...as I don't plan to teach next year. The recital is at 6:30, and can I tell you I am nervous? Why should I be? I have done this seven times... and every year I worry, and every year things turn out so much better than I would imagine. But as I told a dear friend and piano parent yesterday, "I get paid to be nervous for your kids so you don't have to be!" Ha ha... what responsibility. Oh, but I am at that annoying place where I am so anxious and trying not to worry and wishing it would just be over already.
And then I am so anxiously awaiting actually packing my suitcase which has been sitting in plain view since LAST WEDNESDAY! I just cannot stand it anymore! I just want to pack and get out of here.. =) Tomorrow... I know I can pack tomorrow. But, for now, it's killing me to refrain. There are other things I need to do. I need to go repair a shirt, and then my dad is coming home in an hour and working on some computer stuff with me, and then make dinner, and then wash dishes and clean kitchen, and then piano recital, and then come home, and go to bed... and, and, and... I could go on, but I won't bore you anymore.
Currently, I am enjoying a peach smoothie... you really should try one. Just mix up a half cup of vanilla yogurt with a peach and a teensy bit of milk in the blender, and then drink with a straw! It's perfectly refreshing and delicious!
I guess I'll be going now... there wasn't really anything super exciting to write, but I thought I should at least so all of my readers would know I haven't dropped off the planet or anything! =)
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Jun. 3, 2008 - Class of 2008
Ha! I almost didn't.
You see, the Lord had to heal me.
I was reading a testimony last week of some missionaries I know. They were sharing how the Lord had healed one of their members. I though, "right. Yeah, the Lord heals, but it's not that big of a deal."
Boy was I wrong!
On Wednesday night, my sister came down with the flu-although we thought it was food poisoning at the time, so we didn't think anyone else would get too sick or anything. Thursday, she was in bed all day. Friday, I stayed home from the homeschool convention to be with her. I felt find. Perfectly fine. On Saturday, I woke up feeling really lousy. I thought it was just because I had only had 6 hours of sleep the night before. We went to the convention at 8 in the morning. I started to feel worse and worse. By 9, I was so tired, I didn't want to do anything but sit down. I sat with my sister in a speaker session. About half way through, I felt like I would puke. I stood up and left to find my mom. I almost passed out in the hallway, just six steps out the door. I had to call my mom on the cell phone and have her come find me.
I spent the morning in one of the LEAH leader's hotel rooms sleeping. By lunch, I felt eh-okay, but not the greatest. However, it didn't take long before I almost threw up and passed out again. I just wanted to go home. I couldn't graduate. I knew I couldn't. I just couldn't do it.
My mom cautioned me against going home. She said if I felt better, I would regret not being there. So, I decided to stay and maybe just sit in the back and watch. I spent the afternoon in the nursing mother's room sleeping in a chair. I missed grad practice, so I had no idea what was going on. Right before the group picture was supposed to be taken, my aunt came in and prayed for me. And then I decided I would just get up and trust the Lord. I ran to the bathroom, fixed my makeup, threw on my cap and gown, and got into the picture.
Then I ended up seeing a good friend of mine whom I have no seen in 5 years! What a time to do it, right?? ha ha.
Anyway, and then we had the whole ceremony-which was so awesome. And after that, I felt great. We even made it to my cousin's grad party that night.
Sunday was my party, and there were 82 people who showed up. It was a lot of fun, but both too short and too long. Too short, because I felt like I didn't have enough time to really talk to everyone. I felt bad because some people left before I had the chance to even get to them. But, it was also too long because I was so weary, and all I wanted to do was go home, get into my track pants and sweatshirt and sleep.
So, anyway, it's official own. I am a graduate of the class of 2008. It's something I will never ever forget.
Now on to something new, although I don't know what that is yet.
I do know that there are only eleven more days until I leave for MISSOURI!!!
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May. 28, 2008 - A Good Solid Spanking
And what do you know? Twelve things I needed.... right there. BAM.
#1-"let us lay aside every weight"- last night, the Lord had been revealing to me that I was allowing things to become gods in my life, idols. Here was a call for those idols to be revealed and taken down, lain aside. I did that... the Lord was quick to reveal those things. I knew they were being a distraction. And, I let them "burn" so to speak.
#2-"let us run with patience." Nope, I've been running like a chicken w/ my head cut off, overwhelmed and weary. The Bible says to not be weary in well doing. In 1 Corinthians 15:58, it says, "be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord." instead, I've been shaken by every little thing and abounding in the flesh. Lord, forgive me.
#3-"Looking unto Jesus." Have I been? No... I've been looking on to my circumstances and uncertainties and frustrations and my iPod. I need a changed perspective.
#4-"lest you be wearied and discouraged in your minds." Why am I relying on other things? It is making me weary and discouraged. "He gives power to the faint..." -ISAIAH 40:29-31
#5-"Despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor be faint when you are rebuked of Him." And there is was-the moment I realized the Lord was trying to get my attention and discipline me. I was way out of line. I hadn't thought I was-no, I was blaming the problems on circumstances or other people, but NOT ME. But, I was wrong-so wrong and so out of line.
#6-"No chastisement for the present seems joyous, but grievous; never the less, afterwards, it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness." Yes, there is purpose even when God is disciplining me.
#7- "Follow peace with all men." I definitely haven't been doing that. I have had such a bad attitude and causing issues with my family. Just being a real brat.
#8- "Follow holiness"-yep, definitely haven't been doing that the last few days. I've been following the flesh.
#9- "Looking diligently." Wait, diligently? That hasn't even been a word in my vocabulary the last few days; More like lazy, self-centered, and flesh controlled.
#10-"Lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you." Wow, funny-I had just been admitting to a friend the other day that I had noticed some seeds of bitterness within my heart because of various circumstances. "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice." -Eph. 4:31
#11- "Let us have grace..." hm, grace has also not been something in my vocabulary lately. I've been finding faults with everyone, tearing others apart and myself as well. Lord, I need Your grace... especially for other people.
#12- "Serve God acceptably with reverence and fear." That just put the nail in the coffin-there isn't anything else that needs to be said. Serve God acceptably with reverence and fear.
How off I have been.
And that was the spanking...
It was a good solid one, that's for sure.
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May. 28, 2008 - Why are they Butterflys?, Six flies, and my novel is coming out!
My six-year old piano student was playing one of his songs which he will be performing at our upcoming piano recital in two weeks. The song is called "The Butterfly." What was the first thing out of his mouth when he finished playing? "Why do they call it a butterfly? They are not made of butter!" Ha ha... I about fell off my chair, I was laughing inwardly so much! =)
In other news, we had six flies in our house in about two hours. So, after dinner, I chased them down with a cup and paper, caught them all, and shewed them outside. You should have seen me... running around the house chasing after these flies, yelling in silly voices for the fly to stay still, and jumping all over the place trying to catch them. But, we finally got them all, -at least I think so.
And last but not lease, I got my release day for my book today; it is September 2, 2008; But you can go to Tate's website and purchase a copy RIGHT NOW! Please do so. Check out the link at-
http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-60462-882-1
And all of this, I have another blog post I'll be putting up later to share the work the Lord did on my heart this morning...
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May. 27, 2008 - A Really Honest Blog
The Words that come to mind right now:
Hypocrite.
Angry.
Frustrated.
Disappointed.
Scared.
Nervous.
Overwhelmed.
Wanting to run.
Lacking faith.
Not motivated.
Falling.
Hopeless.
No creativity.
No direction.
Wondering.
Wishing.
Hoping.
But nothing.
Nothing.
Yet I keep telling myself Jesus is everything.
Still struggle.
Lots of struggle.
Heaviness.
Weight on this household.
Lack of peace.
Arguments.
Bad attitude with my mom.
Selfish.
Prideful.
Pointing out other's failures and not seeing my own.
Wishing I could get away.
Not content.
Wanting more.
More of something.
I haven't figured out what.
Just something.
Confused.
Thirsty. (for real)
Overeating.
Lazy.
Tired.
Really tired.
Soul tired.
And this is me. I've been such a wreck these last few days, and I am not even sure where it came from or why it is happening. I've been a hypocrite, I've been selfish and prideful, I've had a really bad attitude around the house. I've struggled through each day since Saturday. It all started with waking up late on Saturday, and that's when the bad attitude came in. It won't leave. I've tried, but it's like weighing upon me. Each time I get out a bit, something else crosses my path and I get frustrated and angry again, and then I've lost it all over again.
Plus, there is just this heaviness on my household. I won't go into details, but things are not the same. Everyone seems exhausted and weary, and that comes out in a whole bunch of different forms in this house. It's a real struggle around here.
And graduation is in a few days-I hope this doesn't carry through. I need to get out of this slump. I need some waking up.
Lord God, help me.
I have been asking. I need You.
But, I'm not feeling anything.
No change of attitude, no spiritual high, no motivation. Just sinking, falling, fading... what's wrong?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Tomorrow His mercies are new.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I will begin again.
I will try again.
I will be motivated.
I will complete what is on my to-do list.
I will not appease the flesh.
I will eat right.
I will exercise.
I will be in the WORD.
I will be joyful even though I have to teach piano.
I will not complain.
I will not have a bad attitude.
I will not let every little thing frustrate me.
I will not be a hypocrite.
Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet.
Lord, be gracious, and allow me to live until tomorrow if it so be Your will.
And strengthen me to walk in the day you give me to live.
Make something beautiful out of my mess.
I am a mess.
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