Please excuse my absence here of late.  As hard as I try to get back to my blog, I've found it difficult to find even a moment in my day to do so.  And, much to my dismay, I have not been able to keep up with any of my HSB friends' blogs either. 

Things have been a little chaotic, a little crazy, a little confusing.  Big changes are happening in my life and I don't think I've been handing it all over to the One who already knows His plans for me and my family.  I don't function well when I feel "in-between" and don't have a clear plan for the future. 

Recently, we finished our basement and were finally able to "stretch out" a little.  We added a den/playroom, an office/sewing room, and an exercise room, not to mention clearing out our laundry room of "stuff" so I can finally get to the dryer without having to step over all of my husbands tools.  We moved my son to the attic room, previously the office/junk room and my little girl has his old room that they used to share.  Plus, the new den allowed us to clear out the upstairs living room so we now have a great formal living/dining area for guests.  It's been so wonderful and I can't imagine a more perfect home!  Everything has a place, there's actually room for every activity that we do, and I just love it here more than anywhere else I've ever been (and that's saying a lot considering we have moved 7 times in the last 9 years!).

That being said, as soon as we settled in, my dear husband decided he wanted to get out of the military and move back to FL.  Now, let me tell you...I'm not real good at the "submission" thing, although I am working on it.  I do believe that he will do what is right for our family and that God will lead him.  But for the last few weeks, I have been so conflicted!  I love it here so much, it has become "home" for me and the kids and I just can't imagine walking out of this house for the last time and driving out of our little town for the last time and knowing that we're not coming back.  It breaks my heart and the thought just makes me cry. 

To make things worse, he keeps changing his mind.  One day he wants to go to FL, the next day it's VA, the next day it's WV, the next day it's FL again, then he wants to stay here, then he wants PA, then it's back to FL, then it's maybe CO?, then it's here again...I'm telling you, each day when I call him at work, I wonder which direction he's headed in today.  I can't tell you how difficult this is.  To place your life and your future into the hands of someone else, and then not have the slightest idea what he's thinking from moment to moment!  It's really heart-wrenching and I have had to pray each morning for the Lord to take the burden.

I admit, I'm strong-willed and I tend to take over.  It's definitely one of my biggest flaws, especially when it comes to my marriage.  So it's difficult for me to trust, in my husband and in God.  I'm making a huge effort to hand it over, to not allow anxiousness to take over, to place this all in the Lord's hands and not allow it to take over.  I know that God is already at work in this situation, he already has a job for my husband, a home for us (even if it's not this one), and our entire future is already planned. 

Homeschooling has suffered, although "un-schooling" has been amazing and I must say, my son has really taken things into his own hands and has really thrived doing his own thing everyday.  It's amazing how children love to learn, even without the structure of a curriculum or schedule. 

I have seen God's hand on this.  Please say a little prayer for my family if you remember, especially for my husband as he deals with making these major decisions.  He only wants to do what's best for us. 

Thank you all for still checking in on my blog, even though I haven't been very faithful in keeping it up!  I will try to keep you all updated and I hope to find the time to check in on some of you over the next couple of days!