Posted in Vents
|
I'm just looking at my situation today and feel kinda overloaded. Not to the point where I'm like, overwhelmed, but feeling like, wow this really is something I gotta deal with. My family and all the "special needs," the disorders, the issues. I get like, wow, this is a lot on me, huh? My dh: he has a rare blood disorder. I don't think the kids really do understand. They're young, but not what I call "little." And they do love their daddy. Or as Rabbit will correct me, "dad." They adore him actually. But they don't or maybe can't, see the seriousness of it. Sometimes I can't either. He gets sleepy easily. He gets tired easily I should say. And he has fallen asleep outside when he's supposed to be keeping an eye on Piglet! As I'm typing this, yeah he's outside, so I should go back and forth to keep watch. He could fall asleep. No joke. I get frustrated and lonely because of this. Sometimes I can't talk to him. He gets defensive. He doesn't take constructive criticism very well and goes on the defense. Even if it's not disorder-related stuff. At least, I don't think? The doctors admit they don't know a lot about this disease which that alone scares me. Will I wake up some day and find myself as a single mom? That really freaks me out. Rabbit. She has Asperger's. She takes things literally. Sometimes too harsh as well. Like if I tell her no about say, having some cookies, she'll freak and accuse me of not loving her. Huh? Me, not love her? Or her temper can be hard to deal with. She'll hurt her sister just for annoying her. Her sister always annoys her even if it's not on purpose. (like if Piglet is singing a Veggietales song, it annoys her, she takes it way too personally) But Rabbit is so smart, so incredibly intelligent. She can correct a college professor on history. She's blown me away. She loves history and geography. Heck, in the beginning of first grade she decided to learn the state abbreviations. Just because. And she learned them well. And her talking! Ooohhh.. that's constant. 8 pm it's close the chatterbox, throw away the key at least for the night, please! But I do love her very much. She loves Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers, which I think both are pretty much okay. I enjoy them with her. And she loves Christian rock (Switchfoot) which is also really cool. She's a great kid and I don't doubt that. I know some day I'll miss her childhood. I miss her babyhood now! It goes too fast. Piglet. Oh boy. She's a handful. ADHD Combined. Combined with what? Insanity? Some days I think so. And I wonder. It actually means she has the whole thing: The attention "deficit," the hyperactivity, full blown. She's a she-Taz in a pink skirt. She is also very strong willed. She tries to "dodge" her punishments. She gets very violent in her meltdowns. I can't say how many times I've gotten pretty physically hurt by her. And then she doesn't seem to understand why she loses her computer time, library activities, etc. OTOH, she's gentle as a bunny around babies and toddlers. She adores them and the feeling is usually mutual. A baby's face lights up when he/she sees her, and her face lights up as well. It's always love at first sight between her and a baby or toddler. Or anyone who happens to be smaller than her. And people tell me I must be so blessed to have her. Oh yeah, sometimes blessed, sometimes well, the opposite. To think she was such a calm baby. A good sleeper too. But with all that, she loves to dance and sing. She also loves Hannah Montana and enjoys Christian rock. We both dance together sometimes. It's a lot of fun. She doesn't mind the heat, which I hear is going to be unbearable for the next week or so, but that also is a strength. Just get her outside, no matter how hot or cold and she's happy. Okay my turn, my "special needs." I have: allergies - milks (dairy), meats of all kinds, peanuts and food colorings, and of course spring/fall allergies, molds, dust, and dogs flat feet tmj sacroilliac joint dysfunction (which I'm doing my p/t exercises every day) 60-70 lbs overweight - trying to lose with my p/t exercises and lifting easy weights - I want to do aerobics but that can affect my joint dysfunction a hole in my tooth - a few teeth that need to be taken care of but we don't have the money (dh wants me to call a dentist anyway) And ADD. I'm highly distractible myself. I've left the milk out, the butter, leftovers... and yeah I've burned dinner and too many close calls.. To top it all off, yeah I do homeschool and am considering going back to school maybe part time myself. I need skills to do something. I'd like stay at home job, but am unsure about doing MT work, which would be a good sahj. I'm afraid about my dh, and would like to continue to homeschool the girls if for some reason, I do become a single mom..  Yes, can you tell, I'm worried about that. I get scared. He does go for phlebotomies, but that's all the doctors could do for him right now. At least as far as we can tell. We want to relocate, but am unsure where at the moment, or if we really should. We just don't know what we should do right now and need to pray more. *********************************************************************** So is all this a lot for one person to handle? Am I crazy for wanting to go back to school? I do see a counselor, who btw is on vacation. I'll see her next week. I do lack a hs support group, outside support besides the counseling.. Should I seek out more? I do post on a SB board that's fairly quiet in the special needs area, but the ladies are nice. It's not a place I get much "support" but do get a good laugh or smile from there. If you've read this far, thanks. I'd really appreciate some prayers. Thanks and God bless! |
Comments
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by