Sep. 18, 2008
Christopher's disorder
Posted in home/health issues
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We had a little talk last night about what's going on with him, his symptoms, etc. It's been tough just knowing the seriousness of this at times. He says his feet swell up, which I noticed when we went down the shore a few months ago. Funny how I don't normally notice things like that? And he gets itchy, which is another common sign. Of course he's tired and moody, one thing I'm always mentioning here. When he has the phlebotomy, he perks up for a few days. But then he gradually gets more and more tired. By the time he's going for another phlebotomy, you can tell he needs it without even looking at the calendar. And I know the test he gets before he takes it will mean he needs it. I guess we were in denial for a while, wanting to move outta state and his wanting to go back to school. You don't want to admit these things. He goes for a phlebotomy every 6 weeks. Yet at least I can say I didn't want to see it, didn't want to really admit it. I can say, yeah he has this, but I'm not sure how much of that truth I believed, honestly. I'm giving in to depression lately. It's so hard with everything else going on. I'm just like, it's not fair he has this. He's the more patient parent, between the both of us. Why him? He's the provider, the better driver, the better at everything than me. I seriously wish I was the one who had this instead. I know maybe that sounds weird to say? What'll I do if this disease does kill him? I can't deal with these 2 kids alone. I don't want to live without him, kids or not. We've been married 18 years. My parents' marriage lasted 20, but ended in divorce. (I was only 12) Yeah I'd rather 'til death do we part' but not so soon. I'm so alone with these kids already. It'll be 10 times worse without him.  Thanks for listening. And again for your prayers. I don't think I can ever say thanks enough for that. |
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