cought in between a false front and an imaginary happiness. i cant feel my legs, and i dont know wich direction i am looking, but the feeling is always the same. always awake, always tired, always half-alive.

i heard what you said, but i diddnt let it sink in, i cant let it show, i wont let it get to me. this is my mourning process that no one will ever know about. if i break down, the world will fall apart.

its foggy, i cant tell if its polution or the tears that refuse to vacate my eyes. the world smells of rotten, and old play doh. surrounded my my barrier of empty bottles and hollow words. in every tragedy, someone must keep their composure, stay calm. but i dont understand why it always has to be me. im not strong enough for myself, or anybody else. so why does it always have to be me.

i keep my shell, but i fall apart where no one could see. i cry, i scream, i curse, i self destruct, and then i shut down. all in one moment, all in my head.

i know i must seem cold, emotionless, without heart. but its not true. i lied, i have decieved, my plan to fool you all has never fooled myself. this act i hold so dear cannot be kept. i want to pray, but i dont know what to pray about. my head is clouded with the very essence of absolute nothing, and terror. im not alone, but it feels like no ones here. no ones talking, but everyone has something to say. im to young for this. i cant handle myself.

i cant do anything but write this. oh and how sad, this used to be a song. walk away. dont let it get to you.

Comments

Posted by Spartan117

Posted by Spartan117

Posted by karatechick1