Just when I want to be really religious, a dose of reality comes into my life and chases the spirit of religion right out of my house!  Having foster children forces me to keep my RELATIONSHIP with Jesus intact, and laughs in the face of a religious spirit.  These girls just know too much.  I want to be sad, but I have to make light of it because it's just the reality of the situation and it can't be changed.  Anyway, here's what happened one day...

I walked upstairs and noticed that my linen closet door was shut, the light was on, and whispering was coming from the other side.  I get very nervous at closed closet doors with voices on the other side, so I quickly opened the door to see what was behind the door and to catch anything "strange" going on.  Two startled 8 year olds jumped as naked Barbies and a GI Joe go flying into the air. 

"Why are those Barbies and GI Joe naked?" I enquired in my most shocked voice.

"We found them that way in the Barbie box and were trying to get them dressed, but couldn't" one shaking girl tried to explain.  Apparently if Disney/Pixar tried to film a Toy Story in my house it would be X-rated since GI Joe, in the nude I might add, snuck out of the boy's bedroom, into the girls' bedroom, and jumped into the Barbie box where two nude babes were waiting for him.  And my oh-so-innocent 8 year olds were so appalled at what they found, that they hid the "offenders" in the linen closet to try to dress them and hide their sin....yeah, right.

"Oh please, give me a break.  Out of the closet, you guys are done with Barbies.  Put them away and clean your room."  I stated firmly.  My husband always said that Barbies and GI Joe should not play together.  He knew this from his own childhood. 

Later, my curiosity got the better of me.  I had to know details!  What WERE the Barbies and GI Joe doing in that closet?  I guess it had been too long since I had seen a good soap opera.  So I quietly called one of the girls over to "chat". 

"Sooo, " I began.  "What WERE the Barbies and GI Joe doing in the closet?"

"Nothing, we were just trying to get them dressed!"

"They weren't boyfriend & girlfriend or anything?" I countered back.

"Weellll, I guess they were."

"And did they DO anything as boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Wellll, they were kissing."

"In the nude?"

Then all the beans got spilled....

"You see, GI Joe was drinking a lot of beer and he got too drunk, so he started kissing the Barbies.  The Barbies, who are really mermaids got mad and called their dad, who caused a big tornado storm to come and take GI Joe away.  The tornado was just about to come when you walked in."

"Ah ha.  So, who's idea was it that GI Joe get drunk?"

"Well, it was mine, but that's because Chelsea wanted him to do drugs, but I thought that was a bad idea."  Well, I suppose she needs a Brownie Pin for THAT great idea!

"Do you think that maybe next time GI Joe decides to get drunk, EVERYONE can keep their clothes on, and maybe the Barbies can take him to church and introduce him to Jesus?  Or how about if GI Joe just doesn't get drunk but is just a nice guy?  Or how about if GI Joe STAYS in the army box in Caden's bedroom so he won't get into any more trouble, oky doky???!!!!"  Child agrees that any of those are better ideas than the one they had.  Both girls agree not to play anything like that again.  Can someone please pray for GI Joe?  Apparently he's been hell-bent for at least 30 years!  GI Joe needs to get saved!!!