Christ died to set me free - I am more sure of it today than ever before.  I've been thinking a lot, as my previous post stated.  Today I've been thinking about religion.  When I first became a Christian, I thought that because I went to a contemporary church, worshipped with hands raised, prayed in tongues and had a relationship with Jesus, that I was immune to religion.  Religion was for "dead" churches and people who didn't "know" Jesus.  The funny thing is, I was living under more rules than ever before, and as the years went on, more rules were added...

Some were the usual.  Others were hidden in spirituality...

Praying in the morning is more righteous

Homeschooling is obeying God

Only training children a certain way pleases God - this includes controlling their every move and punishing for every turn to the right or left

Family devotions must be done every day

Stand up and raise hands in worship - not optional (it is, but not if you want to LOOK spiritual)

Only listen to certain music, watch certain things (or nothing at all), read Christian books only

While homeschooling, use certain curricula; keep a tight schedule; dress a certain way; only teach certain subjects at certain times; make child feel like crap for not being "on target"; push child to desired "level of learning" or hold them back to same level

Only socialize in certain circles, if at all...

And the list is endless.  Tell me, how is this different from Old Testament Law that no one could live up to, except an elite few?  Remember the whole point of a Savior?  Because no one could live up to it.  And I can't live up to the shackles of contemporary religion anymore.  I'm done.  Today I declared a day of freedom for all who reside in my house.  To me, relationship IS more important than rules, so the rules are few.  I'm choosing to walk in principle instead.  Honestly, I have tried this way of living many times over the last 10 years or so.  What is the deal with me wanting to confine myself to a bunch of rules?  So, I'm trying again.  I'm choosing to RESPECT my kids instead of DEMAND.  I'm choosing to LISTEN - no, really listen - eyes on them, smile on my face, not tuning them out.  I'm choosing to LOVE, unconditionally, without restraint, without disappointment. 

I hope my kids can heal from the control I've bestowed on them over the years.  I hope my marriage can heal from that same control.  I hope that my house can become a house of Love and Peace. 

Today, I experienced a taste...

I went to co-op today happily.  It was good for me not to be teaching this session.  I am helping in one class, but that is easy and another wonderful lady is responsible for bring the materials and making the copies - perfect!  My kids are participating in classes they love and that is wonderful.  Honestly, it would help out all the teaching moms in any co-op or Sunday school or whatever situation if the kids that were there, REALLY wanted to be there.  There is nothing worse than volunteering your time for someone who doesn't want to be there while the parent is out of the class or building enjoying themselves.  A little bit of martyr coming out in me, but it's true.  Anyway, today....much more enjoyable for all of us.

When we got home we ate lunch.  Greg said that Caden had only eaten out of his Easter basket today -- that makes about 36 hours of only candy and nothing else for him.  I was really going to hold out on the "un-fooding" idea (see some unschooling sites if you don't know what that means...check out articles by Sandra Dodd).  I was trying not to freak myself out with the fact that he was born with Meth in his system and I was fearing an addictive personality.  I thought I'd wait it out one more day and see where he was at with choosing something besides candy.  A couple hours later he said he wanted a treat so I handed him his basket.  He threw a huge fit because he didn't want what was in his basket, he wanted a different treat....I thought that was cool because it showed me that he DID get sick of what he'd been eating and was beginning to think of other choices - albeit sugar.  I found some other small treat for him and we went out to play.  I had some reading to do for school (my own class) so it was great to sit outside and watch Chelsea and Caden play while I read and drank coffee!  Usually, I would say "I have homework, I'll play with you later" and hole myself up in my office for an hour or so.  I'm choosing them first, but God is helping me be creative with some of the other things I need to do.  Next Cade, Chelsea, Jordyn and I walked to the park while it was sprinkling.  We picked up trash on the way home.  Actually, I did and didn't say anything to them and they just copied me -- GEE, what a concept!!  (Principle - taking care of our environment vs. Rule - pick up trash every time you walk to the park. )

After that, we all hung out together doing various things -- boys watching a movie, Maddy watching something on computer, etc.  I realized I hadn't looked at the clock all day and I finally looked at 6pm.  Normally, I would be barking orders about dinner, but no one seemed hungry so a few of us decided to go to the library.   Ally wanted books about anatomy and muscle groups.  We also found career books, particularly careers in health and fitness as that is a huge interest of hers right now.  Chelsea found some Jupiter books and Jordyn played on the computer.  I was mostly looking for an S-E-X book to let the girls read.  It was really hard for me to find one that I felt was not too graphic yet gave the basics without being too babyish.  Finally found one and told them I'd put it in their room if they WANT to look at it.  Maddy said, "Do I have to?" and I said "No" and then she said "Good!"...oddly enough she was in her room most of the night ... hmmmm. (Got a book because I asked them if they would rather talk about it or read about it and they said read...I'm sure it will lead to talking but that was at least a start).  Anyhoo, ran a couple of other errands then came home and ate dinner.  Greg said that while I was gone, Caden asked for chicken and corn.  Now he's eating Cheerios.  I guess his sugar binge is over (and there is still candy in his basket!). 

I'm happily looking forward to tomorrow, though I will be at work most of the day.  I do not feel stressed about "all I have to do" and "any attitudes I may encounter" trying to get it done.  I am feeling FREE.