My passion is to change the world. I want to leave it differently than when I found it. I want people to look at me and see Jesus instead. I don't care to be remembered, but I do care to start a revival. My goal? A life set-apart completely for God, totally and wholly devoted to Him. And Him Alone. My life, and my blog, is about my One Passion in life. Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.
Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
The world was dark. I saw a small box with a square of light. Slowly, I approached it and cautiously picked it up.
Without thinking, I instinctively drew it even closer to my face to see the picture inside. Gasping, I fought to pull it away from my face, finding I could not move it.
Blinking back the tears furiously, I was forced to gaze upon the scene. A woman was crying beside a hospital bed. A girl was driving away from a home, with anger in her eyes. A teenage boy was trying beer for the first time. A young girl was being abused by her father. A woman was taking a lethal dose of sleeping pills. A man and wife were fighting. A family was learning of a fatal car crash. A girl sat crying in an abortion clinic.
I tried to push the box away, exerting everything I had to push it away when a gentle hand stopped me.
"Child." I paused, wiping the tears from my eyes.
"Child, look." I opened my eyes and once again gazed into the box.
I saw the same woman from the hospital, this time at a grave. She smiled, placing a single flower on the grave, and gazing upwards toward Heaven.
I saw the girl that had run away picking up her cellphone, hesitantly making the first call to her family. Her face lit up, and a smile stretched across her face.
The teenage boy that tried the beer was persuading his friend that the "thrills" of life were less than thrilling the day after. Persuaded, they walked away together talking earnestly.
I saw the young girl that had been abused. Grown up, she could cry with the young women she counseled daily. She could relate to them and show them a true way to escape their pain.
I smiled. These people had survived their pain. They had lived-and conquered!-their sufferings. I looked again.
I saw the family of the woman who committed suicide crying and grieving together. I saw her daughter, years later pondering the same exit her mother had taken.
I saw the man and wife years later, divorced. Broken and jaded, they hid behind their masks swallowing the pain they never could quite leave behind them.
The girl from the abortion clinic tossed and turned in her bed. With sleep eluding her she rubbed her eyes, tired. The faces haunted her, keeping her from sleep at night.
My jaw dropped in horror. How could God allow these people to suffer such pain? Surely he would not allow this pain to go on. Tears spilled from my eyes as the images of raw pain continued. The hands cupped my face, turning my face to meet his tear-filled eyes.
"Child, this is the way it had to be. Look again."
I looked again, reluctant to see even more suffering. But then I saw all of it. Complete, moving, living history played out before my eyes as I saw the picture as a whole. I smiled, although it was painful to do so.
It was glory.
I turned, understanding in my eyes. "It's all about the glory, isn't it? In the end, living and dying, pain and happiness all of it's about the glory?"
"So you see."
Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
Let me preface this by saying that I am sick. With a pretty good fever, if I do say so myself. So, I can't promise this will make sense...at all. However, I'm going to try.
Let's see....my life:
~September: My Pa died the first day of September, and it was pretty hard to deal with, even though we knew he wouldn't be with us much longer. However, I know it's so much better for him up in Heaven, and I truly look forward to seeing him again up there.
~October: Basketball season officially began, and while I enjoy playing, we haven't won a game yet. :( Perhaps after the New Year....And....My nephew Aiden was born!!! Aiden is the sweetest baby ever, but of course, I'm not a proud auntie at all...Pff... :D
~November: I turned 16! I also got my license...
~December: Well, not too much yet. Last night we had a Musical Endeavor at our church last night, and I had the opportunity to sing...and it went okay. :) Could've been much worse.
~Now: Well, I'm on the couch....sick. :) It's a lot of fun! Well, not really, but I'm sure you know what I mean. :)
Depending on how I feel and how tomorrow goes, I may post something of substance. We shall see. :)
Live abandoned over average. ~Hannah
Yesterday, my Mom and two little brothers, and I had the privelege of helping my lovely sister-in-law with the house they're working on (by the way, pray, they're moving in on Saturday, and it's not done yet!). Anyway, Lana made the comment to Caleb that, "All it is, is flavored sugar." So, while I scrubbed the kitchen floor, I wondered, "Well, that's all life is, right? Flavored sugar?"
Oh sure, some of it's flavored bad, but some of it's flavored good. Sometimes it makes you laugh, and sometimes it makes you cry. Sometimes it's one color, other times, it's another. Sometimes you don't really like it, other times you can't stop yourself from loving it.
But, see, life is more than flavored sugar. It has more substance to it than that. Life is more than living and breathing here on Earth. What is life? Life is being with Jesus. Life doesn't just exist here on Earth-it's in Heaven too. And, really, life there is much more...real than life here.
So, if that really is the case, what happens when we live with sin in our lives? What happens when we aren't saved? Well, nothing can separate us from God's love, if we are His children. I believe that with all of my heart. But, can we really live apart from God? When we aren't in fellowship with Him? Serving Him, loving Him, fufilling our ultimate purpose on Earth?
I don't think so. The only way to truly live? Be with Jesus. Be in communion with Him. Never be separated from Him. Then, maybe, you'll find what it means to truly live.
Lord, I don't understand today. You said it'd be like this...there would be days that wouldn't be easy. I can't see beyond today right now. But, God, you can. You know all things.
Lord, you know my heart. You know me on the days when I disobey you, and wallow in my sin...and enjoy it. Lord, you know me on the days when I ignore Your Spirit inside of me, prompting me to make the right decision. Lord, I don't understand.
Lord, you've seen me on the days when it's all that I can do to keep breathing. It's all I can do to cry, and not let anyone see. You walked beside me on the days when I thought the darkness would never lift, and when I thought that I was alone, You held me up.
Lord, you were there in the nights that I cried myself to sleep over petty issues. Lord, you were there when I stopped crying, and became filled with fear, and doubt. Lord, you were there when the pain overtook me again and again, and it was all I could do to hold onto the bed.
Lord, you were there when I started telling you how I felt. How I didn't even really feel like praying to You. You were there when I felt so alone, because all my friends went different ways. Lord, You were there when I couldn't look anyone in the eyes, because I was scared that I would break down.
Lord, You were there when I woke up from nightmares, with wide eyes and tears running down my face. Lord, You were there when I was scared to move, scared to do something wrong. Lord, You knew the fear I knew I couldn't overcome.
But, Lord, You were there, at church camp, when all I could do was cry and praise You. Lord, you were there when my sin broke my heart, and I repented. Lord, You were there when words were just too much, and all I could do was sit. Lord, You were there, and You got my attention, because my heart is your's.
Lord, I don't understand. I don't understand the pain or the joy. I can't understand the grief, or the smiles. Lord, I can't understand the tears, or the laughter.
All I know, Lord, is this: I'm thankful for Your Grace. Given to me, and heaped up around me. Lord, I know now. Lord, Your grace is enough for me.
But, Lord, I have a question that I never can answer. Why me, Lord?
I can never be worthy of Your grace or Your love. I can never see how I ever did anything to merit such favor. From God. I know I can't ever deserve the gift Jesus gave me when He died on the cross, and rose three days later.
For those of you who don't know me very well, my grandpa had a stroke when I was 9 months old. He's gone downhill in the last 6 months, and had to be put into a nursing home. They just called and said he has had another stroke. We don't really know anything yet, but, I'd appreciate your prayers:
1.) My Granny- she needs God's peace and love right now.
2.) My Dad- it's his dad, and so I know it hurts him too.
3.) My two aunts (my Dad's sisters) and their families
4.) That my grandpa wouldn't be in any pain, and that if it is serious, that the doctors would be able to tell quickly.
Fan the Flame, Fan the Flame, and, oh yeah, Fan the Flame
Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
I've been busy. No, really. Last week, I left on Friday to fly down to Florida for a basketball camp (which was absolutely exhausting) and I didn't get back until LATE last night.
This morning? Oh, well, I've been up to the usual of late. Fan the Flame. Remodeling part of our house. And, oh yeah, more Fan the Flame. And being tired, sore and still slightly injured from basketball camp.
So, life is closing in on me. School is starting back up soon. Fan the Flame is in.....like 28 DAYS!!!!! FOUR WEEKS!!!! Do you know how soon that is? AAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Well, I need to go plan some stuff for the video and such....so, if you'll excuse me, Fan the Flame is calling my name. Again.
This is what I've been eating....okay, just kidding.
So, lately, God's been hitting me upside the head...over and over. And over. Hard. If you want to know what, well...I won't go into detail. But, God convicted me of being "busy" for Him. But, do I pray constantly? Do I rejoice in all things? Do I not quench the Spirit? Am I thankful in all circumstances?
I'm not condemning serving God. I think that's an important part of your faith, and walk with God. But, there's more to it than that. You have to live like God is all that matters to you too. Otherwise...it's all worthless. Unless it's all His, who cares? Not me, and not Him.
I would really like it if all of you would pray for a friend of mine, Tara. She was riding her horse this afternoon, and it threw her. She's doing okay, but they think that she's broken both her wrists. They also think she may have a dislocated shoulder, and she has a bump on her head they want to check out.
Anyway, please, please pray for her! I'll let you know when I know more.
A Totally Random and Wonderful Tag- Like me, except minus the tag part.
Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
A - Available
For dinner Saturday? Where?
B - Best Friend
Me mejor amigo es Jesus.
C - Crush
orange soda rocks my face off.
D - Dad's Name
Timothy
E - Easiest Person To Talk To
Uhhhh...myself?
F - Favorite Band
perhaps Decyfer Down, cause their new CD rocks my face off
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms?
Prolly bears, unless they're sour
H - Hometown?
Heaven, cept, I haven't been there yet.
I - Instrument
Mine? violin, or piano. or both. :P
J - Job
job??? what job?
K - Kids
are cool
L - Longest Car Ride
was really long
M - Milk Flavor
Well, milk flavor is definitely the flavor of milk. But, I don't like it, so I put chocolate in it.
N - Number Of Siblings
5....6, if you count my lovely sister in law. Which, I do. So, 6.
O - One Wish
is to have two more wishes.
P - Phobias
as in fears? hmm.
Q - Favorite saying
"The longer the night the more they long for the morning."
R - Reason To Smile
friends...they rock.
S - Song You Last Heard
actually, prolly Beauty and the Beast off my blog
T - Things you did this morning.
uhhh. sleep, then talk on phone, then clean room, then talk on phone again, then eat. Yay, I love eating.
U - Unknown Facts About Me
If I tell you, won't they be known? *sigh* Oh well.
My hair wasn't curly until I turned like...12. Now it's...curly.
I hate the color, and smell of mustard
V - Vegetables
are good for you.
W - Worst Habits
I've got many. :P Prolly procrastinating.
X - X-Rays You've Had
On my lungs, when I had pneumonia, on my arm when I sprained my wrist, on my head when I got braces....
Y - Your Favorite Food
is yummy. :P Okay, my favorite food is mexican stuff, although I also love french fries, pizza, and chicken alfredo. Yeah, really healthy, I know.
Z - Zebras or tigers?
are both vicious animals, right? Okay, so maybe not zebras.
