Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.

I would really like it if all of you would pray for a friend of mine, Tara. She was riding her horse this afternoon, and it threw her. She's doing okay, but they think that she's broken both her wrists. They also think she may have a dislocated shoulder, and she has a bump on her head they want to check out.

Anyway, please, please pray for her! I'll let you know when I know more.

For dinner Saturday? Where?


B - Best Friend
Me mejor amigo es Jesus.

C - Crush
orange soda rocks my face off.


D - Dad's Name
Timothy

E - Easiest Person To Talk To
Uhhhh...myself?


F - Favorite Band
perhaps Decyfer Down, cause their new CD rocks my face off


G - Gummy Bears Or Worms?
Prolly bears, unless they're sour



H - Hometown?

I - Instrument
Mine? violin, or piano. or both. :P


J - Job
job??? what job?

K - Kids
are cool



L - Longest Car Ride
was really long



M - Milk Flavor
Well, milk flavor is definitely the flavor of milk. But, I don't like it, so I put chocolate in it.



N - Number Of Siblings
5....6, if you count my lovely sister in law. Which, I do. So, 6.


O - One Wish
is to have two more wishes.




P - Phobias
as in fears? hmm.


Q - Favorite saying
"The longer the night the more they long for the morning."
 


R - Reason To Smile
friends...they rock.




S - Song You Last Heard
actually, prolly Beauty and the Beast off my blog


T - Things you did this morning.
uhhh. sleep, then talk on phone, then clean room, then talk on phone again, then eat. Yay, I love eating.




U - Unknown Facts About Me
If I tell you, won't they be known? *sigh* Oh well.

My hair wasn't curly until I turned like...12. Now it's...curly.

This year I have the privelege of directing the VBS at our church. I'm still amazed that they let a 15 year old girl do it, but, it's a ton of fun, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it! But, yesterday, I was going through a box that came in the mail, sorting out the teacher's books and CDs, and posters, and figuring out what I *still* hadn't gotten.

All in all, I stressed myself out about it. Now, I don't stress out easily. I just don't. I get excited, hyper, or worried....but, I don't stress very often. And, I found myself wondering why I was stressing. I had just, a few days before, sent out an email to the teachers and people helping in VBS, saying that prayer was the only way that this VBS woud be a success. Trust me, I would know.

But, what is stress?

the relative prominence of a syllable or musical note (especially with regard to stress or pitch); "he put the stress on the wrong syllable" tension: (psychology) a state of mental or emotional strain or suspense; "he suffered from fatigue and emotional tension"; "stress is a vasoconstrictor" to stress, single out as important; "Dr. Jones emphasizes exercise in addition to a change in diet" special emphasis attached to something; "the stress was more on accuracy than on speed" put stress on; utter with an accent; "In Farsi, you accent the last syllable of each word" difficulty that causes worry or emotional tension; "she endured the stresses and strains of life"; "he presided over the economy during the period of the greatest stress and danger"- R.J.Samuelson try: test the limits of; "You are trying my patience!" (physics) force that produces strain on a physical body; "the intensity of stress is expressed in units of force divided by units of area"
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

The ones I put in bold are the definitions commonly thought of as stress. But, think about it from a spiritual perspective: What does God define stress as? I couldn't find a Biblical definition of stress, as such. But, what other words can be used for stress? Anxiety, burden, fear, misgiving, mistrust, nervousness, tension, worry. Does the Bible say anything about those? Yeah.

But, I want to focus on just one of those: mistrust. Ouch. Flinch. I need a Band-Aid over here!

Let me clarify what I just said. To stress out about something is to not trust God about it. What does the Bible say about trusting and not trusting God?

"Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the LORD." Psalms 4:5

"Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock." Isaiah 26:4

"Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie!" Psalms 40:4

"For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name." Psalm 33:21

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you." Psalms 9:10

Clearly, those who trust in God are blessed. Clearly, God desires us to trust Him completely.

So, stressing out about VBS isn't trusting God. So, I'm not gonna be blessed while I'm stressing?

I'm going to go one step further than that. Perhaps I'm stepping over the lines. But, I believe that not trusting God is sin. I believe that if we're stressing out, we're sinning.

Okay, so before you call me heretic, and decide that's just a little too close to home, think about it. Do you feel joyful stressing out? Do you feel like you are eminating Christ's love for us? Do you think Jesus would've stressed out?

I want to have a stress-free existence...and no, I'm not planning on moving and living in the middle of nowhere, with nothing to stress me out. Because, I'd find something to stress out about eventually. Don't think that you'll stop stressing out when such-and-such situation ends. Don't assume that eventually, you'll just mellow out, and stress will be a thing of the past.

Satan uses "stress" to attack us left and right, all day long. He beats us over the head with all the things we "have" to get done. I'm not advocating procastinating. I'm advocating trusting God with every ounce of your being....every area of your life.

But, back to that stress-free existence. Sounds pretty nice, huh? Well, it's possible. I'm planning on living stress-free for the rest of my life. I surrendered my life to God. So, really, it's not even mine to worry about. It doesn't make sense to worry about things not in your control, so I'm not going to. I'm going to trust Jesus, and rest in Him. Always.

And VBS? Well, I'll keep praying, and it'll get there.

Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion,

That's the name of a new book I'm working on. :) Yes, I'm always working on a new book. This book is based around one simple chorus of a song that I heard one night. I think someone sang it in church, and I remember crying, because it really spoke to me. It simply says, "Fall on Jesus, Fall on Jesus, Fall on Jesus and live." Wow. The picture I got was of someone beaten down, and battle-weary. Someone who'd just been worn down by this life, and all the distractions in it. But, eventually, they fell on Jesus. They couldn't stand anymore. They just fell.

But, see, the other part of that, is that He caught them. When they fell, He didn't let them touch the ground. He scooped them  up and cradled them in His arms, pouring His love into them.

Wow. That's a really beautiful picture to me. But, over and over, that's me, in my life. Falling down...on Jesus...again. and again. and again.

Fall on Jesus. He'll catch you. Fall on Jesus.

Jean-Paul Sartre was among leading existentialists in the 1900’s. He, among others, provided the mantra, "Essence precedes essence" which was highly controversial during this time. However, Sartre explained, in an inanimate object, such as a chair, existence precedes essence. The essence of the chair, the idea or the concept behind the chair, exists before a chair is actually made. After a chair is physically present, then it exists. However, before that, only it’s essence is truly present, it does not really exist yet. Thus, existence precedes essence for a chair, a table, or even a piano.

If that is indeed true, what do Christians mean when they say that humans are made in God’s image? (Genesis 1:27) Do they mean that humans are made in His existence, or His essence? I believe that to be made in God’s image is to be made like Him. But, is God an existence or an essence? I believe that God is both. God exists in that He is as real (or, even more real) than you or I. God is also an essence in that He is an idea, and a concept, simply one that is real, and larger than anything we can dream. So, are we, as humans, made in God’s existence or His essence? I believe we are made in both. We are made in God’s existence in that we only exist because God does, and we cannot exist without God existing also. We are made in God’s essence, because we are made of a variety of concepts that reflect and glorify God.

Sartre believes that human existence precedes human essence. "Man exists, turns up, appears on the scene, and, only afterwards, defines himself." Sartre was also a self-proclaimed atheist, truly believing that there really was not a "God" anywhere in the universe. Because Sartre was an atheist, he could not have believed that God had a plan for his life. (Jeremiah 29:11) If a man truly lives, then dies, with nothing before or after, how can his essence precede his existence? To him, it was a simple matter of logic. To Christians, it’s a simple matter of faith.

As a Christian, I cannot agree with Sartre that my existence precedes my essence. To the world it may appear to be that way, but I know that God knew my essence before I was born. From the world’s perspective, my existence may precede my essence. However, from God’s perspective, and a Christian’s perspective, I firmly believe that my essence was known before my conception on Earth. God does not need us, as humans, to "choose our essence" while we "exist," but, rather plans our essence for us in His plan, because He is all-knowing. Therefore, my essence precedes my existence.

Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.

If I had three wishes,

I'd end world hunger,

If I had three wishes,

I'd adopt all the children,

If I had three wishes,

I'd end every war.

If I had three wishes?

But why wait,

When three wishes may never come,

But I have choices every day.

If I had three wishes,

I'd wipe every tear from their cheeks,

If I had three wishes,

I'd teach them all music,

If I had three wishes,

I'd give them all that I had.

If I had three wishes?

I may not have three wishes,

But I have three minutes,

I might even have three hours.

If I had three wishes,

I'd love them,

If I had three wishes,

I'd cry with them,

If I had three wishes,

I'd give them Jesus.

What if I had three wishes?

The world would be better,

And the children wouldn't cry,

But, if you had three wishes,

Would you sit idly by?

Hallelujah! He is Risen!

 "Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you-unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures...." ~I Corinthians 15:1-4

On this day I choose to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. I don't choose this day to celebrate bunnies or chocolate, or even beautiful flowers, or spring. Easter is about Jesus. And, if we were to consider it, we would realize, Easter is all about Jesus, yes, but so are our lives. Today, I choose to celebrate new life in Christ. And tomorrow, I choose to focus on Jesus, His death, and His resurrection, even though it's not Easter technically.

He is Risen! Praise His Name!

"Brothers, I tell you this: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, and corruption cannot inherit incorruption. Listen! I am telling you a mystery:

We will not all fall asleep,

but we will all be changed,

in a moment, in the twinkling,

of an eye, at the last trumpet.

For the trumpet will sound,

and the dead will be raised,

incorruptible,

and we will be changed.

Because this corruptible

must be clothed

with incorruptibility,

and this mortal must be clothed,

with immortality.

Now when this corruptible is clothed

with incorruptibility,

and this mortal is clothed,

with immortality,

then the saying that is written

will take place:

Death has been swallowed up in victory.

O Death, where is your victory?

O Death, where is your sting?...

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory,

through our Lord Jesus Christ!

~I Corinthians 15:50-57

Also, "...Sown in corruption, raised in incorruption; sown in dishonor, raised in glory; sown in weakness, raised in power; sown a natural body, raised a spiritual body." - I Corinthians 15:42-44

We are not to be here forever. When we are saved, the "old man" dies, and the "new man" lives. Eventually, I am going home. This world is not my home. I've never seen my home, but I know without a doubt I'm going there someday.

And, so, this Easter Sunday, I can say, wholeheartedly, with John,

 "Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!"

~ Revelation 22:20b

Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.

I'm standing at the edge of a cliff, looking down. A long way down. I shuffle backwards, gulping. There's no way I'm ever going to get near the edge of that cliff ever again. Sorry, not gonna happen.

Yet something keeps driving me to the cliff. Maybe it's the tears running down my face. Maybe it's the look in my eyes of sheer terror. Or, maybe it's because my friends...wait...what friends?

But, again and again, I go to the cliff and peer over. I can't even see to the bottom! Fog obscures my view after a few feet...but I know it's a long way down. I retreat a couple of steps, only to come right back to the edge, closer than before.

The tips of my toes hang off the ledge. Dare I jump? Would it fix it, this mess of a life I live? Can I jump?

I back up again, this time breathing hard. The questions come thick and fast. Why can't I jump? Will I ever be able to jump? Why should I jump? I don't understand! Will someone explain it to me?

"Trust me?"

The voice in my head was real. I'd swear it on a stack of Bibles. So real that I looked around for the speaker.

"Trust me?"

It wasn't taunting me. It was just a question. Could I answer?

"Sure." I gulped, wiping the sweat from my forehead.

"Then jump."

I leaned over the edge a bit, just to see what was below. Visibility was zero. I wiped the tears from my face, mingled with the sweat and damp of the morning.

Could I jump? Could I really really jump? Did I trust Him?

I jumped. Just barely, but enough. I didn't know what was ahead. I just jumped.

~

I'm not sure why trust is an issue for me. But, all the same, it's hard for me to trust people. Even God. But, today, He called me to jump off the cliff. Not to ask why, but to jump.

Can I trust God enough to jump off a cliff, if He asks me to? Can I trust Him with my life, in all aspects? Not only can I trust Him...but, will I trust Him? Do I trust Him?

"...I will put my trust in Him..." - Hebrews 2:13

Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.

I walk into the room, slowly. I glance around, and see mirrors. Walls, ceiling, floor. I sit at the table in the middle of the room, and put my head down on it....only to realize that it, too, is a mirror. I stand up, dizzied by all the bright lights on the glass. I look at myself, full in the mirror.

I screamed. That can't be me. This monster? I touch my face. The monster touches it's face too. I scream again. And again. I hit the mirror, again and again. It shatters. But, yet another appears in it's place. My hands bleed when I finally stop shattering mirrors.

Now there are more mirrors...coming closer to me, and closer. I'm trapped here. I can't close my eyes. I see myself...reflected in all the mirrors. I scream again, and again. I scream until I can't breathe anymore. I fall, breathless, to the floor.

I'm hideous. I hate the way I look. The mirrors constantly hold me before me. I can't stand to look at myself...but I can't help it either. I have to look. I have to.

My hands still bleed, and my throat is raw from screaming. A ragged whisper is all I can squeeze out.

"Someone? Please?"

The door opens. I cower in shame...who wants to see me like this? I peek through slitted eyes at who would come to see me. I see a beautiful man and lady.

"It's a shame. She was such a nice little girl. I can't believe what she's grown up to be."

I scream again, clawing at my face, my arms. Blood runs down my face. Someone else enters. A pair of girls come in, talking.

"She's such a jerk! I mean, come on. I saw her yesterday, and she didn't even look at me. Oh, yeah, best friends, whatever!"

"I'm sorry!" I scream. Hot tears roll down my face. The door opens. I cringe again.

"Do you know that's the Smith's daughter? I wish she'd be more like her parents. Such good people."

This time I can't help myself. I scream again and again, blood and tears rolling down my face, my arms, dripping onto the floor.

"Child."

I stop screaming. This man...he touched me. Lifted my face from the floor.

"Child, you don't belong here."

I don't? I think I deserve it.

"I love you, daughter. Let me love you. Belong to me."

Belong to HIM? He looks clean, angelic almost. I look down at myself, my claws, my hideousness.

"I don't deserve you."

"But I want you anyways."

I couldn't help myself. I took another look at him, wiped the blood from my face, and fell at His feet.

He picked me up and hugged me. Tight, not afraid of my monster body. I only got a glimpse of myself in the mirrors before they all shattered.

White.

Clean.

He saved me. From the mirrors. From myself. From the people who couldn't love me like Him.

"but God shows His love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.