Why Me, Lord?
Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
Lord, I don't understand today. You said it'd be like this...there would be days that wouldn't be easy. I can't see beyond today right now. But, God, you can. You know all things.
Lord, you know my heart. You know me on the days when I disobey you, and wallow in my sin...and enjoy it. Lord, you know me on the days when I ignore Your Spirit inside of me, prompting me to make the right decision. Lord, I don't understand.
Lord, you've seen me on the days when it's all that I can do to keep breathing. It's all I can do to cry, and not let anyone see. You walked beside me on the days when I thought the darkness would never lift, and when I thought that I was alone, You held me up.
Lord, you were there in the nights that I cried myself to sleep over petty issues. Lord, you were there when I stopped crying, and became filled with fear, and doubt. Lord, you were there when the pain overtook me again and again, and it was all I could do to hold onto the bed.
Lord, you were there when I started telling you how I felt. How I didn't even really feel like praying to You. You were there when I felt so alone, because all my friends went different ways. Lord, You were there when I couldn't look anyone in the eyes, because I was scared that I would break down.
Lord, You were there when I woke up from nightmares, with wide eyes and tears running down my face. Lord, You were there when I was scared to move, scared to do something wrong. Lord, You knew the fear I knew I couldn't overcome.
But, Lord, You were there, at church camp, when all I could do was cry and praise You. Lord, you were there when my sin broke my heart, and I repented. Lord, You were there when words were just too much, and all I could do was sit. Lord, You were there, and You got my attention, because my heart is your's.
Lord, I don't understand. I don't understand the pain or the joy. I can't understand the grief, or the smiles. Lord, I can't understand the tears, or the laughter.
All I know, Lord, is this: I'm thankful for Your Grace. Given to me, and heaped up around me. Lord, I know now. Lord, Your grace is enough for me.
But, Lord, I have a question that I never can answer. Why me, Lord?
I can never be worthy of Your grace or Your love. I can never see how I ever did anything to merit such favor. From God. I know I can't ever deserve the gift Jesus gave me when He died on the cross, and rose three days later.
But, Lord? I'm thankful that You did. |
Posted at: 4:35 PM, Saturday, August 1, 2009 |
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