So, the other morning I was dreaming about being in this weird building.  I mean, it was a gazillion floors high and every floor looked like a different version of a Dr. suess book, not the characters mind you just the odd decor and the design of the steps.  I found myself almost crawling up the stairs holding on to the rails for dear life.  you could not see through the stairs or anything like that but I was afraid.  See, I am afraid of heights (& so is 1DS9), deathly afraid.  I can, at times, ride roller coasters - at least I have been known to in the past.  But I don't like going up (or down) stairs if it a very tall stair case or if you can see through the stairs - that one REALLY bothers me!  The last *set* of stairs that really bothered me is at Bishop Castle in CO.  DS & I came back down while DD & DH made it all the way to the top.   Wait, I take that back, that was not the last one to really bother me, the last one was a lighthouse in FL.  I came back down though because the steps started getting too steep and I kept hitting my pregnant belly as I walke dup them so I used that as an excuse to come back down.  My MIL came back down with me while the kids went up with their dad and grandpa.  Anyway, when I woke I had the realization that I am not afraid of the heights I am afraid of falling from those heights!  It only took me 32 years to fully put that one together!  LOL  So, then I started thinking that it really is not a fear of falling from ridiculously high places but it is a matter of trust.  Where is my trust?  If my dad or my Dh had built the place would I trust the steps more because I know the builder?  Very likely.  I trust my husband with most everything but there are still things I am afraid to trust him with (like scheduling my day out for me).  So, then I started thinking about God.  Yep, you knew that was coming didn't you?  Do I trust Him completely with every aspect of my life?  Obviously not, if I did I would not have any fears whatsoever would I?  So, now I am searching out my fears trying see what I am really afraid of and turnign those fears over to God, trusting Him moment by moment with my life and the lives of those I hold so dear (that one is so much harder for me).  Now, I have not been anywhere with ridiculously high staircases since then, and I don't plan to search them out either,  but I know next time I am climbing them I will think of God and the trust I have in Him. Now, will I ever make it to the top of Bishop's Castle?  I am going to say that is an empahtic no.  See, I also beleive that God gave us common sense and for me it is not sensible to try to make it to the top.  Do I need to fear those steps?  Nope!  Many people have climbed those stairs and descended via those same stairs but I likely will not be one of them  Maybe God will prompt me to climb them to prove that I have given Him my life fully....maybe....

~ Rachel