Siblings and Socialization
Jul. 8, 2006 at 1:08 PM
A mother once complemented my 15 year old son on how polite and caring he seemed to be. She then asked me, "What do I have to do to have a son like that?" I grinned, "Have a baby at 40." She quickly responded, "No thanks! I'll keep my kid the way he is." Siblings do have an effect on their brothers and sisters, don't they? Whether their 13 years apart or 13 months, siblings help shape who we are. It's not always a postive effect either. But we have to learn to love them because we just can't leave them.
A recent issue of Time Magazine looked at the impact of siblings in our lives. It seems the researchers are discovering how important these relationships really are.
"Siblings have a socializing effect on one another," says psychologist Daniel Shaw of the University of Pittsburgh. "When you tease out all the other variables, it's the play styles that make the difference. Unlike a relationship with friends, you're stuck with your sibs. You learn to negotiate things day to day." It's that permanence, researchers believe, that makes siblings so valuable a rehearsal tool for later life.As Ann V. said to me in an email about this story, "Sounds to me like big homeschooling families, together all day long, all year long, should then be socialized the best? " It sure does Ann, but don't count on the "experts" to cancel school so that children can be properly socialized any time soon!
Related Tags: parenting, homeschooling, home education, mothers, Time Magazine
3 Comments and Trackbacks
posted by CommunicationFUNdamentals on Jul. 8, 2006 at 1:35 PM
I have often wondered about how my children will be with each other when they are older. My dd is 16 and my son just turned 7. We feel like we have two "only children". Lest you think having a child almost 10 years after your other would would avoid arguments... lolol
JoJo
posted by PatriciaWHunter on Jul. 8, 2006 at 9:49 PM
It was watching Nick care for Emily when she was a baby that influenced a friend of mine to homeschool years ago. I was two months shy of 41 when I had Emily. I appreciate your comments in my post on being a godly mother-in-law. I have more to say on the subject...probably later in the week. Hope you are having a perfectly delightful weekend!
posted by jacobsacademy on Jul. 8, 2006 at 10:22 PM
As an only child, I had often had a difficult time with my own peer group because, outside of compulsory school settings, I was always in the adult world. I also did not have any conflict (outside the parent-child norm) growing up without siblings and as a teen and young adult I viewed any disagreement or conflict as rejection or failure. I was bound and determined to have as many children as the Lord would allow me and headed toward the large and loud family life. We definately have achieved the loud family part - but I was limited to two and through His divine lessons I learned and accepted my fate. But I so love large families and know many (my bestest, bestest friend growing up now has 9, our local HS bball coach has 11....). I agree that there is a greater amount to learn and gain from siblings and family life far and above anything we can ever experience. I have been amazed (....uh, and often shocked, too) to watch my sons and the children of my friends - both loving and, at times, not so loving - as they live each day and work through life.
God's plan works.
Enough said.
Harriette