Counting Heads and Hearts
Aug. 17, 2005 at 9:51 AM
family
The topic that just keeps coming around is how many children should a family have. I came across it recently again on Sherry's blog. But I would like to share two incidents that impacted our decision.
Story One
I was still in the working world, stuck at the airport in Las Vegas. My plane was delayed by about 2 hours. Not enough time to leave but too much time to just sit there idle. So being the ever nosy woman that I am, I began an unscientific survey of the other waiting passengers. Most were women over the age of 55 with a hair color similar to that of a Michigan sky in late February. My survey contained one question,
"If you could live life over again, what would you do differently?"
The results were near unanimous.
"I would have had more children and spent more time with them."
The general sentiment was that life had moved to quickly and now they realize what was truly valuable but it was too late. As a 23 year old that had a strong impact on my attitude. I certainly didn't want to be in their shoes in 40 years. That is, having all the money I needed to buy whatever I wanted but no time left to get what was truly valuable.
Story 2
Pastor: "How many here today are living in a bigger house then the one they grew up in?"
(Most hands went up.)
Pastor: "How many have atleast as many children as the family they grew up in?"
(About 6 families raised their hands.)
This was a congregation with over well 1000 in attendance that morning. So even taking into account non-marrieds and infertility issues the illustration was clear. We, as a society, (and more importantly as Christians) have changed what we place a high value in.
This is not to say that as Christians we don't value children but we have come to a place where their value is different in today's culture than in previous times.
Raising children is difficult both financially and physically.
But I do not want to stand before God knowing that he had a purpose to fulfill in me at this time and I chose to stop it. God can work miracles and he could bypass my obstacles but I seek to be a worker for Christ not a hinderer of HIS plans.
In the end, I realize it's not just about how many heads fill my home but how many hearts are born again in HIM. But I also know that there will never be a heart for Christ if the child was never given the chance to be born.
2 Comments and Trackbacks
posted by Anonymous on Aug. 17, 2005 at 11:18 AM
I've been thinking about this issue a lot lately, even dreamed about it last night. We have 6 children ages 17 years - 15 months already and they are hoping for twins next time which would be amazing to me. :) But I keep getting concerned about finances (my husband was unemployed 5 months this year and is just now 90 days into the new one and we have no insurance), my body (I'm 41 and the last pregnancy felt like things were starting to drop although I'm fine now) and the fact I already feel like I'm not doing enough for the 6 I have. I need to remember that I'll trust God with each of these things just as we do now. I also have to remember that it takes just as much faith to trust him when the babies don't come anymore. I don't take any of these blessings for granted! Thank you for writing; I read your blog daily.
posted by cappuccinosmom on Aug. 20, 2005 at 5:52 PM
Thank you for reminding my why we are open to more (many more!) children.
I hate being told "Oh, you poor thing, you didn't get your girl this time, you'll have to try again. I pity you" as if it were some tragedy to have a third, or fourth, child. I love to make jaws drop and eyes pop with a response of "Oh, I'd LOVE to have more! In fact, I'll take as many as God will give me!"