A Sad Testimony
Aug. 25, 2005 at 7:54 AM
family
Holly asked in a comment if abuse and adultery are rampant in the homeschool community. Sadly, it is more common than we might like to believe.
Since I have posted my review of Debi Pearl's book "Created to Be His Help Meet", I have received many e-mails. Some upset with what I had written (that's a putting it mildly.) But the majority were supportive and encouraged me to continue to speak out about this issue and the affect that wrong teaching is having on the homeschooling community and the church. Here is a excerpt from an e-mail I received recently,
I was an abused wife. The sole reason I stayed in my marriage was due to the guilt placed upon me by views such as this about divorce and submission to one's husband. Christians caused me to stop listening to God's voice in my own life and listen to THEIR OPINIONS of His words.
I sat in reverence before during and after I was bouncing down the stairs to my basement (Can you imagine trying to prove that the bruises you have are from being kicked down the stairs as opposed to fallinfg down?). I sat in reverence while I was being tripped and pushed around my home on a regular basis in front of my children. I sat in reverence while I was kicked over a bed when I was 5 months pregnant. I was ever so reverent when my ex husband closed me off from the world, taking my keys, my wallet and disconnecting the phone. I was ever so reverent when things were being thrown at me. I was so reverent, that I never called the police and I never told a soul, until after my divorce.
Sadly, a divorce my have been prevented had there been accountability and intervention before things got to this point. Just as sad, many women are believing the opinion of others without investigating the scriptural truth for themselves.
Adultery is also far more common than we want to admit. I have known more than one homeschooling family that seemed "together" who have experienced the turmoil of this devastating sin. Woman have a role to play in the relationship but books that refuse to let the woman know that it is not all up to her to hold her husband accountable are hurting the testimony of Christ, the church, and homeschooling. Not to mention the "lessons" that our boys are learning about how to treat women.
Church and legal remedies are available to hold husbands accountabile for their wrong behavior. It is not just about reverence for the women. It is about truth and accountability.
3 Comments and Trackbacks
posted by gal51 on Aug. 25, 2005 at 8:01 AM
although I have not personally been in such situations, I have known and worked with far too many in my life. I am tired of the legalism in the church ... it was for freedom that Christ set us free ... may we all strive to walk in that freedom and encourage others to do the same. Thanks for talking about one of the many topics that people in the church just won't touch ... if we don't who will?
~Heather
posted by VictoriaCarrington on Aug. 25, 2005 at 8:13 AM
I know a Christian woman who is being abused. Reading various books and listening to judgemental, legalistic Christians as well as the abuser who is twisting and mis-interpreting Scripture is keeping her in a very dangerous situation. People who represent teachings that cause others to be hurt should be held accountable in the body of Christ. Unfortunately, some writers and preachers are not under any authority but their own so they can go anywhere and say anything with impunity.
posted by on Aug. 25, 2005 at 8:57 AM
Dear Spunky,
I was deeply sadened to read your post today. I couldn't help but wonder if there are others in the homeschool community who are silently suffering.
But I greatly appreciate you posting this.
Were you able to pray and counsel with this dear woman? When we were part of a mega church in NYC about 12 years ago. That behavior was common among many so called Christians I knew. Even though their husbands appeared to be a kind gentle Christian husband the opposite was true. I might add here the same held true for a few wives.
Maribel Hernandez
Edited by FamilyMedicine on Aug. 25, 2005 at 11:12 AM