Yelling at my flowers
Nov. 1, 2005 at 10:06 AM
family
"Son, get over here right now!" I shouted in my most authoritative mommy voice. (Okay, I yelled!)
"Yes, mom what's wrong?" My son replied as he came into the room.
"What's wrong. How could you even ask what's wrong. Look at this stuff all over the place." I reacted.
"Sorry mom. I'll clean it up. " He said as he reached for a towel. "But why do you have to get mad a me for making a mistake? I didn't mean to do it."
Gulp. I stopped midsentence. He was right. Why did I have to get mad just because he mistakenly left something out that his little sister decided to spill all over. He didn't deliberately try to make my life miserable. Yet, I reacted like he was the problem.
I began to think about this all day. Why do I get mad at my children? I came to one conlcusion, pride and shelfishness.
A family is much like a garden. Each member has different characteristics and qualities that make them unique and special. But like all gardens there are weeds. When I see a weed in my flower bed I just give it a quick tug and it's gone. No fuss. No anger. I accept that within my garden there will be weeds to deal with. Some are a little deeper rooted and I have to spend a little more time making sure I get the root. But I never get mad at the flowers for causing the weeds. I would look absolutely foolish and my neighbors would wonder - even more than they already do! - if I stood there and started yelling at my flowers for causing the weeds. And I certainly wouldn't destroy the whole flower garden just because it happens to attract a few weeds.
Yet, that is what I do when I chastise my children for their mistakes that they make my life more difficult.
Scripture says, "Only by pride cometh contention." It is my pride that causes me to get mad at my children. Their mistakes inconvenience me and I don't like it. So what do I do? Yell at my "flowers." How dumb is that!
So the next time I"m tempted to get mad over one of the silly mistakes my children make, I'm going to try and imagine what I would look like standing in my back yard yelling at my roses or my marigolds. Hopefully, that image will cause me to stop and think for a minute. I don't want to destroy my flowers because I have a few weeds mixed in. And if that doesn't work maybe I ought to just go outside and yell at the weeds a few times. Maybe a few embarrassing situaitons will help keep me in line.
"Yes, mom what's wrong?" My son replied as he came into the room.
"What's wrong. How could you even ask what's wrong. Look at this stuff all over the place." I reacted.
"Sorry mom. I'll clean it up. " He said as he reached for a towel. "But why do you have to get mad a me for making a mistake? I didn't mean to do it."
Gulp. I stopped midsentence. He was right. Why did I have to get mad just because he mistakenly left something out that his little sister decided to spill all over. He didn't deliberately try to make my life miserable. Yet, I reacted like he was the problem.
I began to think about this all day. Why do I get mad at my children? I came to one conlcusion, pride and shelfishness.
A family is much like a garden. Each member has different characteristics and qualities that make them unique and special. But like all gardens there are weeds. When I see a weed in my flower bed I just give it a quick tug and it's gone. No fuss. No anger. I accept that within my garden there will be weeds to deal with. Some are a little deeper rooted and I have to spend a little more time making sure I get the root. But I never get mad at the flowers for causing the weeds. I would look absolutely foolish and my neighbors would wonder - even more than they already do! - if I stood there and started yelling at my flowers for causing the weeds. And I certainly wouldn't destroy the whole flower garden just because it happens to attract a few weeds.
Yet, that is what I do when I chastise my children for their mistakes that they make my life more difficult.
Scripture says, "Only by pride cometh contention." It is my pride that causes me to get mad at my children. Their mistakes inconvenience me and I don't like it. So what do I do? Yell at my "flowers." How dumb is that!
So the next time I"m tempted to get mad over one of the silly mistakes my children make, I'm going to try and imagine what I would look like standing in my back yard yelling at my roses or my marigolds. Hopefully, that image will cause me to stop and think for a minute. I don't want to destroy my flowers because I have a few weeds mixed in. And if that doesn't work maybe I ought to just go outside and yell at the weeds a few times. Maybe a few embarrassing situaitons will help keep me in line.
6 Comments and Trackbacks
posted by gal51 on Nov. 1, 2005 at 11:07 AM
Great post! Thanks for reminding us ... I had an incident similar to this one just yesterday and was grieved, still this morning (even after asking my DD and the Lord for forgiveness) over my foolish behavior (Proverbs 29:11).
~Heather
posted by JoysintheJourney on Nov. 1, 2005 at 11:22 AM
yelling at our flower beds, huh? Think that is how the Lord sees it too...
Well spoken, Spunky...
posted by Pattycake on Nov. 1, 2005 at 11:49 AM
Boy can I relate! I was so mad last night, I had a whole lecture on my mind to give to my daughter. And in my book it was not a small mistake.
I abhor Halloween. I cannot wait until it is over. We turn off our lights, and forget it's even "Halloween." Well, last night a guy she knew from a different church had called and asked if he could stop by in costume so that my daughter could take some photos. She's a great photographer. I knew nothing of this until he was at the door, all dressed up ... as a woman!
This sent incredible mixed messeges to our younger children. My eight year old ran upstairs, really confused. He thought we didn't celebrate Halloween? My husband "let it go" and let her take the pictures. I spent time with the young uns getting them to bed.
The next morning, I was bothered and concerned rather than angry. I talked with her, and she totally understood and was really very sorry.
This reminded me of Mark Hamby's talk on anger. I love Mark Hamby, and have only had the pleasure of hearing him once.
He compared it to a police officer stopping someone for a traffic violation. Typically, they would act professional. Explain the infraction, hand down the punishment or give a warning, depending on the situation. But imagine if the police officer yelled, carried on "Why did you speed??!! WHY???!!! Are you trying to ruin my day?? (Cry, whine, carry on). That's what I would have done with Rebecca if I had dealt with her last night, when I was angry. Instead, explaining to her the next day how she confused the children was enough -- and she got the point. And that IS the point after all -- that they GET the point.
Thanks Spunky -- great post.
posted by KarenW on Nov. 1, 2005 at 4:33 PM
Thanks Spunky! Encouraging and edifying post.
posted by gottsegnet on Nov. 1, 2005 at 4:44 PM
Thanks for sharing this...my daughter strikes a certain tone with my son occasionally that really upsets me...mostly because I recognize it. So mom's a lot more careful when she's upset and we're working on that with her...
posted by Anonymous on Nov. 2, 2005 at 3:12 AM
Hi,
Great post, really made me think about when I get cross with my kids, I'm certainly going to try harder to think of the 'weeds in the garden' next time.
Linda (linlonlew) - forgot to sign in, lol!