Spunky Homeschool

Homeschool Support Groups

Feb. 10, 2006 at 8:13 AM

Homeschooling

Not Quite Supermom's thoughts about homeschool support groups hit home with me. I haven't been a part of a support group for a long time. I pop in and out of a few occassionally, but not nearly as often as when I first began homeschooling. Ever so often my husband or I will speak at a homeschool support group and inevitably someone will say, "You should come more often. We need more veteran homeschoolers in our group." And they are right. I remember how much I gained from just being around those that had been at this a while. I start to feel a little guilty for not committing to come to every meeting. I don't feel as though I neglect new homeschoolers. I'm very willing to make myself available to help out in any way I can. It's just the commitment of time and energy that goes into a support group isn't something I can do. Many of the events planned don't fit in our schedule or with what we're currently doing.

There is also a potential downside to being in a support group. Cliques develop between the families; or politics and religion can often escalate tensions. Eventually, what started out as a support group often becomes stressful and a stumbling block. I have seen this happen way too often. So for better or worse that has kept me away from participating as well.

For a while, our former churches provided a framework of support and encouragement. We have hosted "family groups" where the majority of those who came were homeschoolers. However, since we are no longer involved there, we have lost quite a bit of support. I can tell a difference in my attitude some days. I do miss the conversations and encouragement. Reading homeschool blogs fills the some of the information side, but it can't (and shouldn't) replace real conversations.

I am blessed to glean support from my family. My parents are my biggest cheerleaders in so many ways. My mom is always spurring me on to keep going. I also enjoy the support of a sister close by who homeschools. We are able to share and challenge each other over many issues related to homeshooling. Yet we can still walk together in a close relationship.

So I'm not sure what to think about support groups anymore. I know I enjoy them when I do go. Yet, I don't have the same commitment to them that I used to. Is this common as homeschoolers move from "rookie" to "veteran" status? Do you particpate in a support group? Is it more of a mom's night out or do you look to it for activies for the children too?

Related Tags: , , , ,
 
 

10 Comments and Trackbacks

posted by on Feb. 10, 2006 at 1:19 PM

I made a comment at NQS's blog about this, but I would like to make another comment here. When I joined my first support group, I was more in need of a mentor, not a support group. I think new homeschoolers would be better served if they knew someone that they could call anytime that they have a problem. You have your family close by, so that is your "support". You don't need artificial outside support. However, some of us don't have family around, or if we do have family, we don't have their support. I was more interested in being able to call someone when I found myself struggling, but felt I was intruding on other's precious time. So, often times, I just hung in there on my own. Now that there are more homeschoolers graduating, I'd like to see more "retired" homeschooling moms filling that need for newbies.

Edited by CMMomma on Feb. 10, 2006 at 10:22 AM

posted by sherrydhoneycutt on Feb. 10, 2006 at 2:40 PM

I was blessed to find an incredible (and very conveniently located!) homeschool group when I began homeschooling just this past year. They are helpful to whomever needs help (i.e. mentors, financial, friendship, advice, etc) and are full of great opportunities for the children. It is both structured AND a mom's night out! They get their business done and have some fun too!

The leaders of the group are sisters and they are really nice women with great kids. However, many of us pitch in to help set up gym classes, outtings, guest speakers, etc. It is truly "our" homeschool group and I feel lucky that I found them!

Sherry

posted by jacobsacademy on Feb. 10, 2006 at 5:52 PM

Rather than leave a lengthy comment - I posted about it:

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/jacobsacademy/81888/#c149521

I am interested in other hs families' ideas, concerns and opinions regarding teens and the support group scenario.

Harriette

posted by spunkyhomeschool on Feb. 10, 2006 at 6:03 PM

We don't do any teen only events with any support group or church. I posted an article awhile back called the youth group question. The same thing applies to teen homeschool groups.

posted by jaminacema on Feb. 10, 2006 at 6:42 PM

I to was more involved in homeschool groups when we were new to homeschooling. Now I find that I use them primarily as a place to get my kids together with other kids for field trips and the occasional "school" party. I would like to attend parents meetings, but dh's schedule doesn't usually allow for me to be out in the evenings. (or daytime! LOL) Bu,t I do think they are very important for new homeschoolers and for people who have recently moved. We moved 2 years ago and having organized groups was a huge help in getting settled.

posted by KarenW on Feb. 10, 2006 at 9:26 PM

I am going to a homeschool group now. I don't know if this is a "support" group. The kids go each Friday for classes like sewing and guitar and it's all taught by the parents. We've only been twice so far since we've been out of town. It's nice and my kids enjoy it. I've enjoyed talking to the other moms. Two of my children are very social and "need" friends.(Not that the other one is anti-social!!) Traveling around like we do is hard on them. So for that, I'm glad to be a part of this group. The glory of homeschool is doing what your family needs at the time. It sounds like you don't need the organized support of a group at this stage of your homeschooling.

posted by GogoMama on Feb. 10, 2006 at 10:00 PM

We have a relaxed support group of 6 families. We are all conservative politically and religiously. Each of us takes turns planning activities, and the person planning covers any expense. We meet twice a month. We haven't really had any problems in it, probably because we're so small, and we made sure we were all pretty much on the same page before inviting people to join. For us, it's been really good. It seems that the older my children get, the more they are wanting to have friends outside their family. The majority of the children in the group are the kind I'm happy to see mine make lifelong friends with. The few that aren't don't seem to be the ones my children are interested in getting to know so well.

When we were in California, our group was over 100 families. The tangible (and financial) benefits of being a large group were good, but it meant that many people did not share our worldview -- which meant I had to be physically with my children at all times. Smaller is better, imho.

We'll be doing co-op, too, in the Fall. I don't consider that a support group, even though most of the families go to our church. Most of them are not nearly as conservative as we are, especially with their girls. But I do trust the adults who are teaching, and I'm right there in the next classroom over. I probably wouldn't have done this when they were younger.

When Paul retired from the military, he had 18 months home! It was wonderful! We had no need or desire for anything beyond our family. Now that he works so much, the support group is sometimes the impetus I need to get moving.

posted by KayinMaine on Feb. 11, 2006 at 12:03 PM

When my husband and I first began homeschooling, we were part of a support group that had some problems with cliques and critical spirits. I often left the meetings feeling discouraged, which defeated the purpose. Other members felt the same way. So, after much discussion, I started my own group. There are about 8 homeschooling mothers and their children who meet two afternoons a month in my home. It is small and personal, and everyone goes away feeling encouraged and uplifted. We support one another, and I have found these ladies to be true and loyal friends as well as sisters in the Lord.

posted by teena6 on Feb. 11, 2006 at 3:44 PM

through OreoSouza. :) About home school support groups~ you really spoke to my heart. I am a veteran home schooler ... wow that seems weird to say... 16 yrs with one in his 3rd yr of college. I have been part of our HS support group for years.... but with the birth of our last two (17 months apart) I just kinda pulled back, kwim? We too, were in a church where I received support... up till last year and now .... we are in another church with NO support. When I go to our meetings, park days, mom's night out, etc I can see that the new home school moms are longing for someone to connect with, be encouraged by and the like. So like you I am pulled. I am a talker (guess you can tell by my long post) and I talk to anyone. I have seen cliques and such... but like I said I am the crazy one and talk~ so for now I am taking more of a part in our HSSG.... but who knows as the years come. Sorry so long~
I love your blog... and your topics and links and all~
Teena

posted by creativehsmom on Feb. 13, 2006 at 9:22 PM

I can relate. When our children were younger the meetings (to me at that time) seemed very important and they probably were. They filled a huge void. New homeschoolers have so many questions, they are often times unsure of themselves and their ability to educate their own children. Watching veterans display confidence and by just being there to answer questions is definitely a ministry that is needed and will continue to be. Yes, as you stated, online fellowship is a tremendous blessing but being able to come into direct contact with homeschoolers who live close to home is important. These are better equipped to help with specifics like; understanding the hs law for the particular state, children playing together on occasion, field trips and setting aside special times (like a presentation night) when the children can share their projects with an audience, etc. We are still involved with a wonderful hs co-op support group. It is time consuming and I find that I volunteer less and less but none the less, we keep going. We have what the vets before me (I'm a vet already....sigh) started in the late 80's (I'm sure other groups have this as well) *it's a just for moms night*. Once a month we get together for prayer, discuss co-op matters and anything else that needs covered.
We decided as a family a while back, we don't do youth groups either.
Great topic for discussion!
Cathy :o)

Post a comment!