Eighth Grade Boy Dies
Jan. 16, 2006 at 6:10 PM
Children
Christopher Penley, 15-year-old was shot by police after brandishing a pellet gun. I pray for this family in their time of grief. From CBS 5 News: Here's the comment from a neighbor whose son was friends with the young man who died.
Obviously, the neighbor did not know the seriousness of this child's problems. But it is interesting that the young man told his friend to go to the school's guidance counselor and not his parents with his concerns.Kelly Swofford, a neighbor whose 11-year-old son is close friends with Penley, said he visited their home Thursday night and complained that "people were picking on him at school. I told him he needed to talk to his guidance counselor."Her son Jeffery said Penley talked about wanting to die when the two had breakfast Friday morning. He said Penley had been fighting with another boy, allegedly over a girl.
Toddlers or Teens which is harder?
Jan. 13, 2006 at 10:11 AM
Children
A while back someone was introduced to my son. She complimented him and asked me, "What do I have to do to have a teen like that?" I said, "Have a baby at 40." She rolled her eyes and said no thanks.
Let's face it, who else can spit up on a teenager and get away with it? And there is nothing more humbling than 15 year old boy walking around with a pink diaper bag. A real trend setter. I have come to believe that it takes a toddler to help raise a teen. The teen learns real quick how awful it is to have someone around who believes that life revolves around them.
And now thatI have teens, I sure do wish I had one around when I had five children, seven and
under. I honestly don't know how I did it without losing my sanity. (OK maybe I did and no one wants to tell me.) My two year old daughter is being trained in many of the ways that I just didn't have the time for with my others. And many of the things that I fretted over with my first born (like are they breathing) I don't even think about with her. I can't believe I once even ran the vacumn under my daughter's crib while she napped just to check her hearing.
But now that I have both a toddler and a teen, I'm trying to decide if one is harder to parent than the other? I'm not sure. The toddler years were more physically demanding but the teen years seem more mentally demanding. To be honest I haven't found either one to be "terrible". For the toddler years, I remember thinking this will never end. For the teen years, I think this is all ending too quickly.
What age has been the most challenging for you?
Reminder: Today is Friday the 13th. I'm keeping track of our day today. I'll post what happened in our home tomorrow. Want to join me? I talked about it here a few days ago, and here's my first Friday the 13th from last May.
Let's face it, who else can spit up on a teenager and get away with it? And there is nothing more humbling than 15 year old boy walking around with a pink diaper bag. A real trend setter. I have come to believe that it takes a toddler to help raise a teen. The teen learns real quick how awful it is to have someone around who believes that life revolves around them.
And now thatI have teens, I sure do wish I had one around when I had five children, seven and
under. I honestly don't know how I did it without losing my sanity. (OK maybe I did and no one wants to tell me.) My two year old daughter is being trained in many of the ways that I just didn't have the time for with my others. And many of the things that I fretted over with my first born (like are they breathing) I don't even think about with her. I can't believe I once even ran the vacumn under my daughter's crib while she napped just to check her hearing. But now that I have both a toddler and a teen, I'm trying to decide if one is harder to parent than the other? I'm not sure. The toddler years were more physically demanding but the teen years seem more mentally demanding. To be honest I haven't found either one to be "terrible". For the toddler years, I remember thinking this will never end. For the teen years, I think this is all ending too quickly.
What age has been the most challenging for you?
Reminder: Today is Friday the 13th. I'm keeping track of our day today. I'll post what happened in our home tomorrow. Want to join me? I talked about it here a few days ago, and here's my first Friday the 13th from last May.
Time to Share
Oct. 4, 2005 at 8:34 AM
Children
"Mom, can I have a bowl of chips?" Joshua asked as he was roaming around the kitchen looking for more food during a family gathering.
"Sure, but you have to share them with your brother." I replied.
"Yeah, I'll share half with him.".
"Wait a minute Josh, is that really sharing?
"Sure, I get half and he get's half. That sounds fair to me."
"It may be fair but I'd think a little bit more about this if I were you."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, if you were locked out of the house and I gave you half a key. That would be fair but would I really be sharing and doing the best thing for you?"
"No."
"If Jesus hung on the cross but when he was near death, he said, 'Okay I've gone half way now it's someone else's turn.' Would that have been a sharing heart?"
"No. But mom it's only a bowl of chips. What's wrong with half?"
"If you go out and give half to your brother. You will be consumed with getting your half and being fair. Always watching to make sure he doesn't get more than you. You won't really enjoy the chips as much as you would if you were willing to offer him the whole bowl."
"You mean walk out and offer him the bowl of chips."
"Yeah, that's what I mean."
"But then I won't get any. He'll eat them all. "
"Maybe but that's okay. The important thing is to think of your brother before yourself."
"Well, who's thinking of me then? He (Jason) won't be that's for sure."
"Let God take care of that, you'll get all you need."
"Whatever. Can I take the chips now."
(Josh a little while later comes back into the kitchen.)
"Mom, you wouldn't believe it. I offered him the whole bowl. He took a handful and then walked away, he said he was done. and that I could have the rest. I got to eat the whole bowl."
"Sure, but you have to share them with your brother." I replied.
"Yeah, I'll share half with him.".
"Wait a minute Josh, is that really sharing?
"Sure, I get half and he get's half. That sounds fair to me."
"It may be fair but I'd think a little bit more about this if I were you."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, if you were locked out of the house and I gave you half a key. That would be fair but would I really be sharing and doing the best thing for you?"
"No."
"If Jesus hung on the cross but when he was near death, he said, 'Okay I've gone half way now it's someone else's turn.' Would that have been a sharing heart?"
"No. But mom it's only a bowl of chips. What's wrong with half?"
"If you go out and give half to your brother. You will be consumed with getting your half and being fair. Always watching to make sure he doesn't get more than you. You won't really enjoy the chips as much as you would if you were willing to offer him the whole bowl."
"You mean walk out and offer him the bowl of chips."
"Yeah, that's what I mean."
"But then I won't get any. He'll eat them all. "
"Maybe but that's okay. The important thing is to think of your brother before yourself."
"Well, who's thinking of me then? He (Jason) won't be that's for sure."
"Let God take care of that, you'll get all you need."
"Whatever. Can I take the chips now."
(Josh a little while later comes back into the kitchen.)
"Mom, you wouldn't believe it. I offered him the whole bowl. He took a handful and then walked away, he said he was done. and that I could have the rest. I got to eat the whole bowl."
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." - Luke 6:38 (NIV)
In The Beginning There Were No Diapers
Sep. 24, 2005 at 4:25 PM
Children
In the Beginning... There Were No Diapers by Tim Bete Everybody remembers their first days of parenting. But nobody remembers them with the humor and insight that Tim Bete recalls them in his new book "In the beginning...There were no diapers." I have read many parenting books, most written by women for women but this book articulates very well the perspective from a father.
In a very easy to read style without a lot of wordiness, (he obviously understand the attention span of a new parent) he offers nuggets of wisdom and advice on a variety of issues. They range from how to change a diaper on an airplane to getting rid of household pests. My personal favorite was chapter two, "How I determine the sex of our baby - The miracle of birth". He included special advice to fathers on how to handle the "fertility police". He shares my love of humor with a slight edge that makes a point. Here’s his answer when someone asked him if he knew whether he was having a boy or a girl.
"Yes," I replied with confidence. Then waited. After about a moment of silence she inquired "Well which is it - a boy or a girl?"Good insight from a father of 3 and a great answer to those difficult questions put to all of us with large families by strangers who feel no inhibition about asking us very private questions.
"I told her I hadn't decided yet. This left her perplexed until I launched into my high school biology lecture.
"The male of the species determines the sex of the offspring." I began in my best academic drone. "I am the male therefore, I decide the sex of our child. I will make up my decision sometime between now and when the baby is born." (I skipped a few biology classes but I think I got the gist of it.)
"Until our baby is born I can change my mind as many times as my little heart desires," I concluded.
The real proof of the humor in this book came one day when I walked in the door and found my oldest reading Chapter 13 "The Perfect Child - The Miracle of Christmas" to her siblings. They were all laughing hysterically outloud as she read Mr. Bete's slightly revised version of "Twas the Night before Christmas". You'll have to buy the book to find out what that's all about.
This is a delightful read and a great gift for a first time dad. But I am curious about one thing he doesn’t answer in the book...How did they get two bared bottomed babies to pose for the front cover without making a mess? Hopefully, there will be a sequel and we’ll find out that answers as well.
Note: The book "In The Beginning...There Were No Diapers" by Tim Bete was provided free for my review by Mind & Media. Make sure you visit her site to find out how you can particpate in this wonderful enterprise.
Heard In the Kitchen
Aug. 9, 2005 at 8:12 AM
Children
Mom: Josh, come dry these dishes please.
Josh: Yes mom. (Continues to play.)
Mom: Josh, I asked you to come dry the dishes.
Josh: Sorry, I guess I didn't hear you.
Mom: But you said, "yes mom."
Josh: I must not have been listening then. (Starts to dry the dishes.)
Mom: Remember, what does a wise son do?
Josh: Listens to his mother's instruction.
Mom: Right, (moving into sermon mode) God had to tell us to do the things that do not come naturally. A son must be told to be attentive to his mother's instruction because it is not usually in his nature to do so.
(Jason enters conversation to rescue his brother from a mommy lecture.)
Jason: Did God have to tell us to eat? (Great diversionary tactic.)
Mom: No, God had to tell us not to eat too much.
Josh: Hmm, How can you be an American and a Christian then?
Marry Well! Marry Well!
Jun. 17, 2005 at 8:17 AM
Children
We're all in the car driving home from piano lessons.
Kate: "Mom, can we go out to lunch today?" (Typical question after piano)
Mom: "No, dad told me before I left that when I got back he wanted to go out for a meeting."
Katie: "That probably means another trip to Starbucks" (spoken with a slight hint of sarcasm)
Mom: "Yep! It probably does." (spoken with a huge hint of expectation and joy)
Kate: "You always have meetings with dad at Starbucks." (subtle attempt at manipulation and guilt)
Kristin: "Marry well Katie! marry well!" (wise advice from an older sister who loves Starbucks!)
Kate: "Mom, can we go out to lunch today?" (Typical question after piano)
Mom: "No, dad told me before I left that when I got back he wanted to go out for a meeting."
Katie: "That probably means another trip to Starbucks" (spoken with a slight hint of sarcasm)
Mom: "Yep! It probably does." (spoken with a huge hint of expectation and joy)
Kate: "You always have meetings with dad at Starbucks." (subtle attempt at manipulation and guilt)
Kristin: "Marry well Katie! marry well!" (wise advice from an older sister who loves Starbucks!)
Getting to know you!
Jun. 7, 2005 at 9:13 AM
Children
Thinks have been a little serious on my blog lately. I love the conversations that have been taking place and I'm always challenged when others share their thoughts and opinions. (Thanks Anne and Victoria and Kimberly.) You all have provided me with much to think and blog about. I haven't forgotten about the husband issue either. I'm still working it.
But in an effort to lighten the mood, I thought I'd share a list my daughter wrote today. We are reading Because of Winn Dixie. And in one of the chapters the father shares 10 things to his daughter about her mother. So as a writing assignment, the children wrote out the some things to describe their mother. My nine year old daughter Elizabeth summarized me quite well. Here's her list.
1. She loves to write.
2. She likes to cook.
3. She is known as Spunky.
4. She loves to take her children to the grocery store.
5. She likes coffee.
6. She likes to buy her kids sweets.
7. She loves to read her kids books.
8. She hates the house a mess.
9. She is a nice mother.
So if you care to share how would your children describe you? (If you decide to blog about it like PalmTreePundit and Blestwithsons leave me a comment so I can read it and get to know you better.)
Don't Bend the Wire
May. 31, 2005 at 10:16 PM
Children
A few months ago I took Jason (14) out to lunch. Actually, he suggested it and he was buying so off we went to Arby's for the 5 for $5 special. While I watched him eat his four sandwiches in the length of time it took me to eat one, we chatted about alot of different things. When there was a lull in the conversation I switched the subject to a scripture that I had been meaning to ask him about. Proverbs 22:36 says "My son, give me thine heart and let thine eyes observe my ways." This seemed like the appropriate time to ask him if we still retained his heart even though he was in the middle of growing from a boy to a man.
He grinned and said, "Mom, if you and dad didn't have my heart then do you think I'd be sitting here with you at Arby's right now?"
Good point.
So I pressed him a little on why he thinks teens seem to stray away and what could a parent do to keep a child from rebelling against them and the Lord.
He said, "Don't bend the wire." I was confused. What exactly does that mean?
He kept going. "Did you ever notice that a wire once it has been bent can't go exactly straight again. I've tried it. It can go pretty straight but you can never get the kink out completely." Now, I was really confused and wondering if my son really understood what I was getting at.
I asked him, "What does any of this have to do with you and teenagers?"
"Mom," he said, "You and dad are the wire and I am trying to get you to bend a little but don't do it. Don't give in to my selfish demands. I may recover but it will never be quite the same. Most parents don't understand that we want you to say no. The minute you give in it's all over. I want to believe what you believe but if you don't believe in it why should I?"
I got it.
This is from a son who was very difficult to handle at different times. The son who in his early years could send me into tears just by walking into the room. Now he was sitting across from me and telling me to stay strong and stay the course. I am sure there will be a few more bumps in the road before he takes on the full responsibilities of a man but I am following his wise counsel and I think he is going to make one fine husband and father one day.
He gave me a few more hints on the mindset of a teen that I hope to blog about real soon. But I'll be busy the rest of the weekend so it'll have to wait.
He grinned and said, "Mom, if you and dad didn't have my heart then do you think I'd be sitting here with you at Arby's right now?"
Good point.
So I pressed him a little on why he thinks teens seem to stray away and what could a parent do to keep a child from rebelling against them and the Lord.
He said, "Don't bend the wire." I was confused. What exactly does that mean?
He kept going. "Did you ever notice that a wire once it has been bent can't go exactly straight again. I've tried it. It can go pretty straight but you can never get the kink out completely." Now, I was really confused and wondering if my son really understood what I was getting at.
I asked him, "What does any of this have to do with you and teenagers?"
"Mom," he said, "You and dad are the wire and I am trying to get you to bend a little but don't do it. Don't give in to my selfish demands. I may recover but it will never be quite the same. Most parents don't understand that we want you to say no. The minute you give in it's all over. I want to believe what you believe but if you don't believe in it why should I?"
I got it.
This is from a son who was very difficult to handle at different times. The son who in his early years could send me into tears just by walking into the room. Now he was sitting across from me and telling me to stay strong and stay the course. I am sure there will be a few more bumps in the road before he takes on the full responsibilities of a man but I am following his wise counsel and I think he is going to make one fine husband and father one day.
He gave me a few more hints on the mindset of a teen that I hope to blog about real soon. But I'll be busy the rest of the weekend so it'll have to wait.
(I am in the process of moving my blog. If you would like to read other articles written by Spunky please go to SpunkyHomeschool hosted at Blogger.)
