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Apr. 7, 2008
Marriage
| Since this is only my second blog, I will tell you a little bit more about myself. My first three children, Keil, Zac and Kara are from my first husband, Brian. I left Brian back in 1993 and met my current husband, Scott, that same year. We were married in 1998. I have learned so much about marriage since then and it is so hard to watch my first three children struggle with our divorce even as they get older.
I hate that society makes it seem like "children are durable, they can get through their parents not being together." It's just not true. Brian hasn't even been a big part of their lives because of his job and yet the pain of not having their real dad around is so evident in all three of them. They have shown the signs of it in different ways but it still comes down to the fact that they were not raised by their natural parents. Scott has been an awesome stepfather to them but it doesn't matter.
I always try to understand why God didn't allow me to know better but ultimately I made the decision to leave. He allows us free will and I took that free will and left. I was only 28 years old then and I thought I was doing the right thing. I looked around and saw lots of divorces and just followed along.
Now I realize how many things I could have done different but I can't change that now. What I can do is try to help other women who are not happy in their marriages and feeling like I felt to understand that marriage is not just about us. When we leave the father of our children, we change their lives forever. And that is a big responsibility on our shoulders because for the rest of their lives they have to live with our mistakes.
God did not intend for us to be "happy" in our marriage. It's not even in the vows. That's why we take vows. It is a commitment that we made before God and when we break that commitment and/or vow we are breaking it with God not just the other person and our children.
More on this later,
God Bless |
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Apr. 7, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Regardless of whether you should have done what you did, God can definitely use your story to minister to others in their times of need. Keep going.