• Oct. 27, 2009
Guess What
By Jill
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• Oct. 27, 2009
Snow
By Jill
“What? All ready?” Cassie got up and opened the blinds.
Suddenly she yelled “Look Jill it snowed!”
“What! Let me see!” I said as I jumped out of my bed. We stared out of the window in amazement. “I can’t believe it actually snowed!” I gasped.
“Everybody is already up,” stated Cassie. She went downstairs and I followed.
“I told you it would snow today,” Mom said, as we both ate breakfast. “Since I don’t know what the driving is like, I think we will stay home and not go to church. So, go ahead and play outside, this may be the only snow this year!”
“Yea!” I shouted. “Let’s go!”
December 2007
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• Oct. 27, 2009
Rattlesnake Adventure
By Jill Hoffsommer
It was the spring of 2000 when I was just five. We were moving from Nova Scotia to Washington. We were in Wyoming following the Oregon Trail and stopping at different sites. It started to get windy and rainy.
“Let’s stop at just one more place, okay?” said Dad as he drove into a parking lot.
Cassie and I got out first and followed a trail from the parking lot. Cassie ran on ahead. I was trying to catch up when my eye caught sight of a black, striped rattlesnake! I ran back to the car and hurriedly told Mom and Dad about the snake.
“It was probably just a stick,” said Mom trying to reassure me.
“No, I really saw one!” I tried to explain.
“Let’s go have a look,” said Dad. “Show me where it is.”
Dad was surprised when I showed him the snake. Cassie was crying because she was too scared to come back. Dad rescued Cassie by carrying her back to the parking lot on a different trail. We are thankful for the cold weather that kept the snake inactive.
2007
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• Oct. 27, 2009
Clouds
By Jill
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• Oct. 27, 2009
Elephants
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• Oct. 27, 2009
Waterslide Challenge
by Cassie
It was a mild summer morning at Lake Chelan, Washington, a favorite vacation spot of my family’s. Inside the 1970s vintage blue condo where we stayed each visit, everyone was busy getting ready for a day at the water slides. Everyone, that is, except for two certain little girls who had already slapped their bathing suits on under their clothes and were waiting impatiently to leave. Those little girls were my sister, Jill, and I, aged three and four.
It was my first time going to a water park, and I didn’t know what to expect. Would the slides be ginormous and terrifying, or would some be docile and at least tolerable? Until I entered the gates of the park, I was totally clueless to how the day would turn out. An atmosphere of carefree playfulness greeted me. It instantly had me enlivened. Kids all around were laughing with delight, rushing to be the next in line for a speedy and vigorous trip down the water slides.
Passing this scene, Jill and I followed Mom to the kiddie area. Spread out before me was a large, shallow impression filled with a foot or two of cold, chlorinated water. This wading pool was complete with some cute springy toys and a fountain of water, but the real focal point was a pair of whimsical slides, just my size! The first took the form of a friendly pink dinosaur with yellow polka dots scattered down its back. A larger slide, which was a slippery green frog, crouched on my right and seemed to taunt me with his protruding tongue. He looked close to formidable with his big bulging eyes staring at nothing. Intimidated, I went to introduce myself to Mr. Dinosaur first.
Sliding down the dinosaur's smooth, wet tail was fun for a while, but I soon lost interest. For a change, I determinedly set out to confront that insolent toad. As I sat in the mouth of the beast, my pluck vanished, but sheer will pushed me forward the one inch I needed to slip down. What a feeling! Besides conquering my fear and reluctance, I had discovered a thrill I had not know before! This made me eager to try more slides outside the small scale of the familiar kiddie zone.
I agreed to go with my dad on a few trips down one of the white slides I had seen the lively kids line up for. My nervousness of going down the “big kid” slide was lessened as I was tucked safely in Dad’s lap the whole way down. It was a brand new sensation and I was drinking up the gleefulness in every second of it. Unfortunately, a dad’s lap is available for only so long. Since I had nowhere else to go, It was back to the kiddie pool for me.
I was not a baby and I was getting tired of the now disdainfully small slides in the kiddie area; I needed a change in scenery. My chance for another ride came when Mom invited me to go on a good-sized slide with her. There I was, sitting at the top of the steep slope, about to push off. Seeing the water churn below made me fidgety, but it was too late to change my mind! Panicking, I hit the water going full speed. The butterflies in my stomach were making such a ruckus that I had forgotten to hold my breath! My nose was waterlogged and I was just miserable. I was sure that everyone was having a good time but me, especially Jill.
Jill had always been the brave one. Distressed, I returned once again to the "baby" slides, while Dad took her on a slide farther up the hill. It was so far up that I couldn't even see where they went; as I saw it my choices were to either stay at the wading pool and be bored to tears, or risk drowning again by going after my dad. Sadly, my fear of taking risks depressed my appetite for thrills. Being cautious should have a limit, but I never learned this until much later in life.
It was almost time to go, and Dad was heading toward the big slide one last time. I gasped as I realized that this would be my last chance to go with him today, for the the rest of the week, the rest of the year, and maybe my whole life! Making my decision, I pattered up the sopping cement walkway after him. My bare feet, tender from so much wear and tear that day, were sensitive to its texture. Clouds had begun to gather in the sky and were blotting out the sun; a chill wind whispered across my damp skin, sending goosebumps down my arms and legs. After going only a little ways, I had lost sight of my dad and saw only strangers. If only I could have caught him! But it was too late, and my chance was gone forever, so I thought.
My disappointment was acute, and I expressed this to my mother in a 4-year-old sort of way. Mom was very understanding and gentle with me, putting my mind at peace by making me understand that missing out on only one slide should not be enough to ruin my day. There might be a time when I could come back and start over.
Mom was right, of course. I was at Slide Waters only several years ago and enjoyed every single slide the park had to offer to the max, especially those that seemed most daunting. My lesson may not have been learned as a little girl, but today I can surprise myself by mustering up just a bit more courage, however guarded it may be, that helps me take part in new and exciting activities without always being afraid. Although I don't plan on going skydiving or bungee jumping any time soon, and I may still be hesitant of boarding a roller coaster at an amusement park, I am now able to do things I wouldn't have dreamed of doing five years ago. When I do have the guts to hop on that roller coaster, I will always have the satisfaction of saying, "I did it!" and maybe admit that I enjoyed the ride, too.
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• May. 13, 2009
A Spooky Story
Note: this story has scary parts. If you read it aloud make it suspenseful by hamming it up.
author unknown
AT the end of a long, dark road is a long, dark path.
AT the end of the long, dark path is a lone, dark house.
AND the lone, dark house has a single, dark door.
BEHIND the single, dark door is a long, dark hall.
AT the end of the long, dark hall are some tall, dark stairs.
AT the top of the tall, dark stairs is a long, dark balcony.
AT the end of the long, dark balcony is a big, dark room.
IN the big, dark room is a big, dark closet.
IN the big, dark closet is a big, dark door.
BEHIND the big, dark door are some steep, dark stairs.
AT the top of the steep, dark stairs is a dark, dusty attic.
IN the dark, dusty attic is a big, dark chest.
IN the big, dark chest is a small, dark box.
AND in the small, dark box is a pink jellybean.
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• May. 4, 2009
Home-Grown Eggs That Satisfy
Home-Grown Eggs That Satisfy
by Jill
As all chickens are egg layers, categorizing the best breed is subjective. Purebred chickens aren’t as good for laying then hybrids, which have been developed commercially to maximize egg- laying ability. Suggesting purebreds that are favorable for egg laying include the Barnevelder, New Hampshire, and Welsummer. If you are searching for a productive breed that will give a constant supply of eggs, the Hamburg or Leghorns could be agreeable for you. A dual-purpose chicken is an excellent source for the first-time beginner, because it can be used as a productive egg-layer and meat. Conveniently, some dual-purpose chickens include the Rhode Island Red, Faverolles, Dorkings, and Dominiques. The Sex-Link, which was produced in America, is one of the most successful crossbred chickens, enjoying human company and naturally laying up to 320 eggs per year. Mixed hens, which are also in the crossbreed varieties, are hardier then pure breeds; they lay plenty of eggs and are unique in appearance, and personality.
Chickens housing requirements are quite simple. The basic premise of the room should insure the three H’s: Health, Happiness, and Hygiene. Arranging it to your needs, it is best to build your own coop to suit your yard. A 5 by 7ft. structure is sufficient for six hens, although bigger is better. It should be located on an evenly well-drained surface to prevent health problems. Commonly the southern direction is desirable to chickens because the sun is not too hot, but dries and airs out the stagnant coop. Ventilation holes drilled near the top of the coop are a high priority when building as it prevents accumulation of ammonia gas. Along the run it should be completely fenced in and all doors given a good lock because predators can be persistent on obtaining meals. The Anatolian Shepherd, which serious breeders rate, is the most reliable ally in the struggle against predators.
Half of a healthy chickens diet consists of seeds, insects, worms, grubs, berries, and anything else they find when foraging. Foraging opportunities are important because carbohydrates, oil, vitamins, protein and minerals can be found in what they consume. Commercial grain, which have oils added during processing, are not as wholesome as whole grain. Diligently provide all chickens with free access to a regular supply of grit because they need this in order to digest their food. You should be mindful that a lot of leftovers contain salt, if given over %.15 they could die. Since one chicken can fervently drink .2 gallons of water in hot weather, make sure all birds have access to clean, fresh water at all times. Don’t forget to store all feed in a tight, dry container because moldy food can kill your chicken.
As the owner of your chickens, you should knowingly be alert to any changes of your flock and give a daily health check. Loss of appetite is a common recognizable symptom, but may be hard to notice among many birds. If your chicken is overeating, but bearing fewer eggs, she probably has worms. If your hen looks anemic and stops laying, check under all the perches for pesky mites. Chicken worming medicines and mite powder, which can be used to treat these problems, can be found at your local feed store. Adequate ventilation is important for your flock to stay healthy because it prevents ammonia buildup. Overcrowding your chickens can lead to boredom and feather pecking, while dirty conditions can cause bad hygiene. The more treats and less exercise you give your flock, the less eggs you will receive! Carefully taking care of your chickens, and making them happy can satisfy them as well as you when you eagerly devour your scrumptious home-grown omelet for breakfast. If you want bacon with it, that’s another story.
3/16/2009
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• May. 4, 2009
Abalone
Abalone
By Jill
Abalone were first found in Japan but then discovered worldwide. In the United States they are found on the Pacific Coast from Alaska to California. They are found at rocky exposed shorelines and in salt water with temperature to 2c to 30c. They also like to hang out in Nerecystis kelp beds.
The out side of an Abalone’s shell is bumpy and sometimes has a few barnacles on it. The inside of the shell is silvery white to green-red. There are five holes on the shell followed by several bumps along the edge of the shell. As the Abalone grows these openings fuse and are replaced. These holes are for the rich oxygen water that comes in and the carbon dioxide to come out. The waste that comes out stains the shell so the Abalone’s shell looks like a rock.
Juveniles tend to hang around red algae patches, and migrate much more then adults. Abalone has sharp teeth to munch down their salt of seaweed. But they also have to have a sharp eye out for other predators such as octopus, Sea stars, crab, sea otters, eels, and lobsters. If it is not harvested or eaten by a predator an Abalone live to about 15 years.
Abalone has been harvested for over hundreds of years. The first record of harvesting occurred in Japan in 30 A.D. To harvest, the abalone must be pried off the rocks. Abalone meat is considered to be a delicacy around the world. It is creamy white in appearance and should be cooked briefly or it will become tough. There are over 300 abalone harvest farms in China.
The abalone is not just used for its meat, but also its shell. Their shells make beautiful jewelry such as earrings, necklaces, and bracelets. The abalone pearl has a distinctive horn shape and a bluish green rainbow of color. It has also been used to make decorative items such as furniture inlays and music boxes. This certainly is an amazing little creature in God’s big world.
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• May. 4, 2009
The Good King's Feast
The Good King's Feast
By Jill
Once upon a time, there lived a great and generous king. Because he was very powerful, he ruled over rich and beautiful lands. The king, who loved to be gay and merry, enjoyed large parties and tasty food. One bright day, he kindly sent out letters to all parts of his vast kingdom to say that on his birthday he was going to give a feast and a purse of money to all the poorest persons who could attend. Soon, from every corner of his kingdom hurried poor folk who wanted to share in the good king’s gifts.
A poor blind man, who wanted to join in on the feasting, was slowly feeling his way along the rugged road. Because he could not go very fast, he sadly feared he would not make it in time to the palace. After a while, he fell in step with a lame man. The lame man was very much like him; he could hardly take a few steps at a time. Presently, the blind man suggested to the lame man that if he climbed onto his back he could carry him, and the lame man could tell him which way to go. The lame man quickly agreed to this arrangement, as he was trying to go to the King’s palace in time also.
When the two friends arrived at the Kings huge palace, the tables gracefully arranged with delicacies and other culinary treats awed them. Because the king was kind, he agreed to receive them privately. The beggared men, who where amazed of the King’s rich palace, quickly stammered out their story. The king was so pleased when he heard their story that he granted each of them twice as much then anyone else
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• Apr. 30, 2009
Apricot Advertisement
Apricots are those beautifully orange colored fruits full of beta-carotene and fiber that are one of the first signs of summer. Although dried and canned apricots are available year-round, fresh apricots with a plentiful supply of vitamin C and are in season in North America from May through August. Any fresh fruit you see during the winter months have been imported from either South America or New Zealand.
Relatives to peaches, apricots are small, golden orange fruits, with velvety skin and flesh, not too juicy but definitely smooth and sweet. Some describe their flavor as almost musky, with a faint tartness that lies somewhere between a peach and a plum.
Apricots are a good source of fiber, which has a wealth of benefits including preventing constipation and digestive conditions such as diverticulosis. But most Americans get less than 10 grams of fiber per day. A healthy, whole foods diet should include apricots as a delicious way to add to your fiber intake.
Nutrients in apricots can help protect the heart and eyes, as well as provide the disease-fighting effects of fiber. Apricots are a good heat healthy food and may help prevent heart disease. Apricots also contain nutrients such as vitamin A that promote good vision. So it seems that fruit can help your eyesight better then any carrots!
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• Feb. 17, 2009
Be Thankful
Be Thankful
A Fictional Story
By Jill H.
Imogene sighed with frustration, as she had waited a whole afternoon in a long line of whiny children and angry adults in a crowded, stuffy shopping mall. The line was made up of many hopeful faces hoping to catch a glimpse of the legendary St. Nick, and Imogene was one of them. Imogene, who was tired of waiting, needed to see this Nick person right away so she could remind him to give her and her family plenty of extravagant presents. She pushed the kid in front of her and shouted “Get out of the way, I need to see Santa NOW! I haven’t waited here only to be rejected!” Despite the cries of protest she finally made it to the large white chair that St. Nicolas occupied. “Now listen Santa,” she huffed “Just remember to get to our house on time and make sure you stuff lots of presents underneath the tree”. She quickly left after that, because of the one dreaded question that would follow would be if she had been good that year. She thought if he knew that she hadn’t been even 1% good, he would probably skip her house entirely. And just as a precaution, she wasn’t going to take chances.
Meanwhile, Nancy Drew was calmly shopping in the same mall looking for a Christmas present for her father. With her detective’s eye she observed the scene where a young girl made a demand of Santa, and then stomped away. The next morning, Nancy’s father, who was sitting in the kitchen, read in the paper that Santa had been kidnapped and the police didn’t have any leads. The children in the town were devastated to hear such heart-breaking news. Nancy quickly recalled what she had witnessed the previous day at the mall, while she was shopping. She immediately went to Imogene Herdman’s house because she wanted to question the brass young girl.
At first Imogene denied being at the scene of the crime the previous day, since she didn’t want to be caught. While she was talking, Nancy, who is always scanning her surroundings for clues, saw a tuft of white peeking from the closet door. Imogene immediately confessed to the kidnapping when Nancy opened the door, which reveled the tied and gagged Santa. Imogene grudgingly explained that she had just wanted to secure Santa’s promise of piles of presents for Christmas. Being the jolly old forgiving fellow, Santa gave Imogene a candy cane and refused to press charges on a little girl. Because Imogene was thankful for such a kind Santa, she apologized right away, and tried to be a good girl from then on, promising to be thankful for whatever gifts she would receive.
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• Feb. 17, 2009
Don't Be a Snoop!
Don’t Be a Snoop!
By Jill
Back in the year of 1960, my Grandfather, whom I call Opa, stumbled into some pretty unfortunate trouble. It was a crisp Fall morning, and his Dad, Helmut, had gone to work and left Opa to rake and burn the leaves in their front yard. Little did he know that this would be a source of his problem later that night. Later that evening, his friend Harvey Daniel called.
“Hey Al” Harvey greeted. “Do you want to go for a ride around town? John will be coming with us, and I’ll pick you up in my car.”
“Sure,” he replied. “I’ll be ready when you get here.”
As they were cruising around in Harv’s 1957 Chevy, the friends noticed a pavement driveway with many trees around it. The friends, who where curious, decided to check out where it would lead. As they drove up the drive, they spotted an old carriage house and decided to park and look around. Because there was a turntable inside of it the garage, it indicated that the owners were once probably wealthy. Together they stepped out and caught sight of a huge abandoned mansion nearby. On the second floor of the large mansion, they noticed together a small flickering glow, as one in a fireplace. They realized that maybe the mansion was not notably abandoned, and that some one would catch them snooping!
Just as they hopped into Harv’s Chevy, a police car drove up the driveway. The policeman got out of his car and ordered them out as well.
“What are you doing here?” He asked sternly.
“Just checking the place out” The friends replied innocently. The policeman wasn’t satisfied, and again asked them what they were doing there. Again they answered that they were just looking around. Finally, he asked a third time,
“What are you doing here? Don’t you know this is deserted property?”
Suddenly, it dawned on them at the same time! And Opa defended;
“Wait, if the property is deserted, then why is there a fire up in that window?”
Immediately, the police got on his radio and called the fire station, and told suspects to keep their hands up as he searched their clothes. Immediately he discovered matches in Opa’s pocket that he used that morning for burning leaves. He also smelled like smoke, which caused further suspicion. Fire trucks approached with sirens blaring and lights flashing, along with several other police cars. Because of the commotion, neighbors came out of their homes and crowded around the excitement. Opa and his friends, who were startled at the turns of events, weren’t worried or scared. Out of the crowd stepped another friend of the three, equipped and thinking that he was a wise guy said, “Setting houses on fire again, are you?” As Opa was suspected of setting the fire, the three were driven to the Grosse Point Police Headquarters.
They were all questioned in different cubicles to discern if their story was true. Because the boys were found innocent, the police drove them back to their car they had left at the mansion. Eventually, they learned that some old compressed paint rags in a closet, which caused combustion, started the fire. Back then; police did not contact parents to tell them what trouble their misbehaving kids were in. Opa, who didn’t want to lose his cruising rights, didn’t tell them right away either. Opa did learn though, that snooping around could often lead to undesirable circumstances.
December 2008
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• Feb. 16, 2009
Don't Play with Matches!
Don’t play with Matches!
By Jill H.
When my Dad was young he was curious. He liked to experiment with fire even though his mom told him “Don’t play with matches!” One summer, when he was 12, his experiment could have been tragic.
One day when no one was home my dad went to the garage and got some gasoline and an empty coffee can. He then went to the backyard and put the gasoline in the can. He lit a match and stepped back, waiting for an explosion. To his surprise, nothing happened. He tried a second time. Nothing. On the third try, it lit. He stood there looking at the small flames for a few seconds, feeling disappointed.
Then, hoping to make bigger flames, he kicked the can. Flames burst into the air, rising higher and higher every second until they reached fifteen feet! Not only were the flames out of control; they were alarmingly close to the house. He thought quick and dashed into the house. Right in front of him was the pantry. He remembered that baking soda could put out fires. He grabbed some and ran back outside. He dumped it all over the fire, then used the hose and sprayed water until it was one big, gooey, white mess.
He cleaned it up but never mentioned that he almost burned the house down until he was thirty years old. By then, he knew that a spanking would be out of the question. Now he tells us “Don’t play with matches!”
December 2006
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• Feb. 16, 2009
A Story In My Life
A Story in My Life
By Jill H.
One fall morning when I was eight years old, I looked out my bedroom window and saw a white and orange tabby cat. I was happy to see my new cat friend again. It came before when Cassie and I were playing on the swing set, and I quickly made friends with it. I hastened down the stairs and outside.
My mom and Cassie came outside to inspect this new stranger. I looked at them and told them how I found him when I felt a sharp stab in my finger. I screamed as I turned around and saw that the cat had bitten my finger! The startled cat ran away as Mom helped me inside to put a band-aid on my wound.
A few minutes later a car drove up, and it happened to be our friend Alice, who was a nurse. She looked at my wound as mom told her what just took place. She said I would have to go to the doctor because it looked bad. But in the meantime I soaked it in water.
At the hospital, the doctor said it was a deep cat bite and I might need an operation. I was scared to have an operation but mom said she would get me a brand new toy if I thought it would make me feel better. In awhile the doctor checked it again but said I was fine. We were all thankful that I didn’t need an operation. But then again, if God hadn’t sent Alice over that day, I would have had a brand new toy.
December 2006
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• Feb. 16, 2009
Alphabet Acrostic Short Story
Alphabet Acrostic Short Story
By Cassie H.
Bunnies hopped about in the sunshine.
Colorful flowers grew in big bunches or climbed up the stone walls.
Dancing daffodils tickled the kitten’s pink nose.
Enjoying her discovery, the kitten bounced into a clump of catnip.
Finally, after much frolicking, she stopped to take a rest.
Green moss was a perfect place to lie down for a snooze.
How long the she was asleep, she did not know.
It was a strange feeling she woke up to.
Jumping bunnies and fluttering butterflies had disappeared.
Killer dogs lurked in the shadows.
Leaping to her feet, the kitten tried desperately to get away.
Madly running about, she tried to find the gate to freedom.
Nobody could help her now as the monstrous dogs were cornering her.
Over the wall the kitten jumped with all her strength, leaving the snapping jaws behind her.
Perplexed and confused, she found herself surrounded with baskets of bread.
Quail ran around her, pecking at the baskets and driving away anyone who came near; this included the kitten.
Running again, she tried to find her way back to the peaceful garden.
Strange things followed as the kitten tried to find something familiar.
The bizarreness would not end!
Under a bush, she found a small hole, which she crawled through.
Vibrant light surrounded her, and she was relieved to be back in heavenly pleasure.
Whatever had happened, the kitten learned that even the things that seem perfect have its flaws.
Xylophones playing by themselves had been a little too scary for an innocent kitten.
Yellow sunshine accompanied her to the gate and flowers waved goodbye.
Zephyrs blew in from the west and ruffled the kitten’s fur as she slipped back under the gate.
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• Feb. 16, 2009
Spa Entry Essay
I wrote this and entered it in a contest to win a day at the spa for my mom. Although it turned out that every nominee was a winner, it was still a nice experience for her!
Everybody knows that mothers have a tough job, but we may not fully appreciate their hard work and devotion to their families. We might not realize how far they will go to exert themselves in keeping their children well fed and entertained. My mom is no exception. Her “career” started when I was the first born out of five, back in 1993. Since then she has been teaching, training, and nurturing us to be good influences on the society and people around us. Her hard work deserves a reward.
My mom has a lot to face at the beginning of a typical day. She sacrifices her time to cook, clean, run errands, homeschool, and more. She always tries to make herself available to talk, teach, help, and, mentor each of her five children. With so many people needing Mom’s loving care and attention, she does not always get time to herself. My mother often takes the hard roads for her family’s benefit, even if it is tempting to do things the fast way. Having a job like her's makes it easy to be discouraged.
My mom is worthy of receiving some rest, relaxation, and a nice long break from her tedious routine. Especially during this hectic holiday season, there will not be a smidgen of time in which she can pamper herself. A day at the spa is exactly what she needs, and would be the ultimate Christmas gift. My mother would love to get a coloring, a body massage, and a facial. This would be the perfect way to let my mom know how much she is loved and cherished!
December 2008
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• Nov. 19, 2008
A Tall Tale of a Short Man
A TALL TALE OF A SHORT MAN
By Cassie and Jill H.
Once upon a time there was a man named Joe High who lived on a farm in Tennessee. Now Joe’s dream was to travel across the United States of America. But there was one little problem; Joe was only six inches high!
Then Joe had an idea, he could fly across America! Joe had a hobby for inventing, and he was going to try to make a drink that would enable him to fly. For days you could hear Joe banging around in his little kitchen, experimenting with different potions.
Finally he emerged from his house with his new invention, flying fuel. He did not drink it, but instead he walked over to his car and poured it into the gas tank. Flying fuel makes your car fly!
Joe packed his suitcase and was off. After three weeks of traveling, he reached Arizona where he ran out of fuel! Joe began to fall and his things went flying everywhere! Luckily he landed on the back of an eagle flying by.
The eagle took Joe to her nest on a cliff in the Grand Canyon where he joined the baby eagles. This looks like the end for Joe High, but this time good fortune is smiling upon him. Joe lived on berries brought to the nest by the mother eagle.
One day, in a mouthful of worms the mother eagle brought, there was a rope she had picked up by mistake. It was a good thing the rope was long, for Joe had to climb fifty feet to the top of the cliff. He then walked to the nearest parking lot and hopped in a car with a Tennessee license plate and got a free ride home.
Joe never went on a long trip again, but he always remembered to take an extra tank of flying fuel wherever he went.
THE END
2003-2005
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• Nov. 19, 2008
5 Ways to Get Your Boss Fired
Co-worker #1 (Alan): Andre
Co-worker #2 (Rick): Eric
The boss, Kristina: Cassie
The more important boss, Amanda: Emily
Pizza Girl: Jill
Janitor: Leila
Security Guard: Leila
Background girl #1: Jill
Background girl #2: Leila
Scene 1
Kristina runs in franticly
Kristina- Aaaah! The boss is coming! PRETEND TO WORK!!!
Everybody gasps and tries to tidy up, but Amanda enters wearing an Afro and 80’s looking clothes.
Amanda- You were talking about me?
She strikes a pose
Co-worker #1- Who dressed you?
Co-worker #2- Your mom in the 70’s? Gosh!
Amanda looks around strictly. Everybody points at Kristina.
Amanda- I’m giving you five chances to impress me…
Kristina- Yes ma’am!
Amanda- I wasn’t finished yet! You already have 4 left.
Scene 2
Amanda starts to inspect the office. Some workers are whispering to each other deliberately close to Amanda.
Background Girl #1- Do you know what Kristina said? She called the boss a witch!
#2- She said that!?
#1- Yeah, and she also said that no man would ever want her because she’s also a huge cat lady!
#2- No way!
Amanda- (under her breath) Oh really? (yells) KRISTINA!
Kristina- (hesitantly) Yes?
Amanda- You think I’m a witch that no man would ever want and also that I’m a CAT LADY!?
Kristina- What? But I…
Amanda- Babababa! Don’t speak! And FYI that is strike two. Three more and you’re outta here!
Scene 3
Janitor comes in slowly sweeping. He sees Amanda, raises his eyebrows and whistles.
Janitor- Hey toots.
Amanda- Excuse me?
Janitor- I said, hey toots. Wanna go out sometime?
Amanda- Ooah! Who let this old, un-hip, un-groovy, 1940’s man in my presence!?
Silence was all through the building except for the flush of a toilet. Alan comes out of the men’s room waving his hand in front of his nose.
Alan- That smell could kill an army!
Amanda- (rolling her eyes at Alan) Well, can anybody tell me who let him in?
Alan- Oh, I know who he is! He’s Kristina’s friend’s cousin’s half-brother’s dad’s sister’s son’s janitor from school!
Amanda- (looking fiercely towards Kristina) Now you only have two chances.
Scene 4
Amanda goes back to dancing and inspecting.
Co-worker #1- (in an undertone) Hey Rick, today’s opposite day.
Co-worker #2- HOLY GUACAMOLE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP AND A SIDE OF MEATBALLS!!!
Alan- Yum.
Rick- (now whispering) I thought it was tomorrow?
Alan- Bro, you haven’t changed your calendar since 1982.
Rick- Oh yeah.
After a whispered conference, Rick excuses himself and leaves for the men’s room. He comes running out and collapses on the floor. All eyes are on him. Alan revives him.
Alan- Come on! Remember our plan?
Rick- Right.
Scene 5
Alan and Rick walk over to Kristina.
Rick- Hey, boss, do you think we could set booby traps?
Kristina- Uh, no.
Alan and Rick- Sweet hillbillies!
They high five. Background slapstick music starts playing and they set out a trap with a whipping cream pie.
Kristina- Who knows what those two nitwits are up to now. SECURITY!
The security guard comes in slowly and leisurely
Security Guard- (with a German accent) Vhat lofely veather ve are hafing today. I hope it stays like this for a vhile. Now let’s open the vindow and and have a look at the beautiful sunshine.
The security guard doe some judo moves to open the window.
Security Guard- Whoa, ya, ya, ya, ya. The place is now secure. You rang?
Kristina- Watch those two boys, will you?
Security Guard- I’m on it, ma’am.
Scene 6
Amanda- I’m hungry! Somebody order me a groovy XL anchovy pizza! For me! Now!
Kristina- Yes, yes, I’ll do it right now ma’am.
She dials the phone.
Amanda- Oh, and don’t get olives, I’m allergic.
Kristina rolls her eyes.
Pizza Girl- (on other line) Hi! This is Booger Pizza. How may we pick yours?
Kristina- Yes, can I get the anchovy pizza?
Pizza Girl- Can I recommend the special?
Kristina- Yeah sure, whatever.
Pizza Girl- Thank you. That will be 15.95. See you in a few minutes!
Scene 7
Alan and Rick are dancing and breaking down dance moves when the doorbell rings.
Amanda- I’ll get it!
Amanda stares in horror at the special…which contains olives! Alan and Rick trip and fall, pushing Amanda’s face into the pizza!
Amanda- AAAAGH! OLIVES! I’M GETTING BUMPS! THAT IS IT; STRIKE FOUR. ONE MORE AND YOU’RE OUT OF HERE!
Amanda slams the door in the pizza girl’s face and starts to yell at Kristina. Kristina protests, and soon Amanda is back to dancing.
Pizza Girl- Um, I need that 15.95 still. Hello?
The pizza girl pounds on the door and the security guard (who has been standing beside the door) answers it.
Security Guard- Vhat do you vant?
Jill- I still haven’t been paid, and my boss isn’t going to be very happy.
Security Guard- That is your problem. Good-bye.
The pizza girl is determined and forces her way inside. The security guard starts to chase her. Meanwhile, Amanda discovers the booby-trap that the co-workers have created.
Amanda- Like I’m going to fall for that one!
But it’s too late when the pizza girl and the security guard come careening down the hall, pushing Amanda into the trap! The co-workers jump out and spray her with silly string. Amanda now has whipped cream all over her face!
Amanda- (splutters) That is it! You are fired, Kristina!
THE END
September 2006
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• Nov. 19, 2008
The Pie Poem
The Pie Poem
By Cassie H.
I like pie; pie is so good,
If I was offered some, you know that I would
Make it disappear, into my tummy
I like pie; pie is so yummy
I like all kinds of flavors, and just to name a few,
Cherry, pumpkin, and apple pie are my favorite kinds of food
If you don’t like pie, then you must be bizarre!
When there’s ever a pie-eating contest, you better run far
Once I saw some strawberries, so juicy and sweet
They were so good and tasty; an occasional summertime treat
So I picked a whole bunch and brought them inside
And when I came out, I had a delicious strawberry pie
I know I’ll never get tired of this scrumptious dessert
Until I get full; then I’ll have to stop and burp
So if I was given a choice, you now know that I
Would choose instead of cookies, a lovely piece of pie
Summer 2006
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